assidycay



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “I feel stupid,” Ilya admits, the words slipping out thin and brittle. “I should be able to do this.”

    Shane pauses for a fraction of a second, then resumes, gentler still. “I know you think that,” he says. “But right now, your job is to be here and let me help. That’s it. You’re doing great.”

    *ilya is stuck in a depressive episode and shane helps him through it*

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    01 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    No one would believe it now, but Ilya Rozanov was a shy kid, prone to tears. Small for his age. An easy target.

    After his mother’s death, he threw himself into hockey. He hit a growth spurt. He started lifting weights, became big and strong. Not as big and strong as his older brother, but big enough to make Alexei and the other bullies think twice. Strong enough to fight back.

    (Or: Five times Ilya has to go home to Russia, and one time he chooses to go home to Shane.)
     



    This isn’t what Ilya had in mind when he figured they’d be spending most of their time at the cottage in bed.

    He throws his arm over his eyes and groans. “I am ruining our time together. I am ruining your time off.”

    “No you’re not,” Shane says. “Are you kidding me? I’ve basically been fantasizing about this.”

    Ilya lowers his arm. “About me puking all over your favorite place on earth?”

    “No, you asshole. About taking care of you.”

    Ilya stares at him.

    Shane says, defensively, “What?”

    “I fantasize about you fucking yourself on boring beige dildo,” Ilya says, voice cracking, “and you fantasize about me being sick at your cottage so you can take care of me?”

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    31 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    After they came out, Shane was ready for people to be weird.

    It was weird with other guys in the league, weird with reporters, weird with angry fans who thought his relationship had tanked their fantasy teams and their sports betting parlays, weird with sponsors and their very enthusiastic pride campaign pitches, weird on all the social media that he avoided like the plague.

    What he hadn't expected was for things to be so fucking weird with other gay people.

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    31 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 68

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    Shane gets almost dizzy as he pictures a future (soonsoonsoon) where he gets to come home to this every day.

    Keys that clatter in the bowl by the front door, and a call of Malysh, I’m home! A shared shopping list and laundry that gets so incredibly mixed that they both forget who originally bought which clothes. Grumbling about the kitchen being left untidy and arguing about weekend plans, because there now are weekend plans to even argue about.

    Shane has to take a deep breath, at risk if passing out from the force of his desire. It drums beneath his sternum, the steady pulse of want that he knows so well. The same want he feels every time he steps out onto the ice.

    or, it's Shane's first time seeing Ilya's house in Ottawa. He feels normal about it.

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    26 May 2026

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    Все счастливые семьи похожи друг на друга, каждая несчастливая семья несчастлива по-своему.

    All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

    ~ Leo Tolstoy

    ===

    An interlude early in S1E4.

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    25 May 2026