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  1. Public Bookmark *

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     “I need your help.” 

    Ilya peers up again and raises an eyebrow. He pauses the video he was watching. “With?” 

    Shane fidgets. “I, uh… I can’t– I mean, I can but I’m not very good– Fuck, listen, just– Ineedyoutohelpmewithsex.” 

    A pause. A long pause. Ilya blinks a couple of times, mouth twitching at the corners. Then,

    “You need me to teach you how to fuck your girl, Hollander?”

    Shane needs help satisfying his girlfriend, Jessica. He turns to his roommate, Ilya, for help.

    Language:
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    30 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Jaw Man flicked his middle finger up at Ilya, who didn’t seem to mind, and gestured towards Shane and Hayden with raised eyebrows. “The f*** are you even doing right now, man.”

    Ilya said briefly, “Orgy.”

    “Uh,” said Shane, “no, that’s not—”

    Ilya grinned at him. It was a mean-edged grin but something about it seemed to suggest that he was joking with Shane, rather than about him. “Oh, he speaks.”

    “We’re not here for an orgy,” Shane said to Jaw Man. “We’re missionaries with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

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    16 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “It won’t stop,” Shane said to the floor. His hands slid down and grabbed at his crotch, rubbing frantically over his boxers. “I can’t make it stop.”

    They were still in the fucking hallway, and yes, it was six in the morning, but it was not private. Anyone could walk in, from their own apartments or the elevator. And Shane wasn’t exactly being quiet, gasping and groaning as he massaged himself. Viagra didn’t do this. It didn’t make you lose all sense of space, of boundaries, of… yourself.

    This wasn’t normal. This wasn’t natural.

    ***

    The morning after Ilya watches Shane and Rose together at the club, he gets a call from Shane. Something is wrong, and Shane says Ilya is the only one who can fix it. Ilya knows it's a bad idea, but that's never stopped him before.

    Language:
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    5/5
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    26 Apr 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Google search history
    13th March, 11pm.

    23:05
    what is shayden

    23:07
    what is shayden fanfiction

    23:09
    what is shayden fanart

    23:06
    where to buy a gun in ottawa

    (bored in ottawa ilya discovers shayden. someone has to put a stop to this)

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    12 Apr 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Out of all Ilya’s terrible vices, repeatedly hiring the same escort might be the stupidest one he’s ever picked up.

    Language:
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    12 Apr 2026