distraught_roach
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Pavel is a proud Red soldier, a tribute to his Commander's good teachings, an excellent infiltrator, loyal to a fault, and a ruthless asset. But above all else he is a hopeless, pathetic romantic.
Artyom was given the title of Savior for an act he would do anything to take back, he is risen up on a pedestal for something that is unthinkable. He just likes having someone to listen to, someone who can be his escape.
And Melnik is just really, really tired.
(Collection of various small writings I do, usually only 1-3 scenes, all are vaguely connected through my own headcanons and canon-divergent AU but won't necessarily be in any chronological order. Some may be reused in or spawn larger fics but will remain here to look back on. Most tend to focus on Pavel b/c he is my fucked up wife <3)
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Please Don't Find Me [I'm Not Okay] by distraught_roach for RadioSilencer
Fandoms: Dream SMP
30 Dec 2022
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Tommy does not breathe and he does not laugh and he does not swear. Tommy is not the harsh cry of a fledgling eagle soaring over the brisk mountain tops. Tommy is not the wind teasing the tall aspen, Tommy is not the babbling brook in the morning sun. Tommy is not life itself and he is not nothing at once.
Or at least, not anymore.
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or: a c!bedrock bros hanahaki soulmate au with plenty of allium duo fluff as well <3 -
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Technoblade never planned to become a warrior. Techno never planned to develop the voices. Techno never planned to pick up a sword and never put it down. But as the years went on he got used to it and he found out three things about himself. 1) Techno never planned to settle down, to make himself vulnerable . 2) He never planned to find a squealer in the nether, all alone. 3) life is never planned, and sometimes its all you can do to make the most of it.
or: technoblade adopts a baby piglin!tommy bc we said so <3
Series
- Part 1 of 2022 mcyt fic fight- team mushroom
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Soundwave didn't mean to turn off Starscream's contraceptive protocols.
(That's a lie, he totally did).OR
Megatron: Who sparked my lieutenant!?!
Soundwave: Whose ex just destroyed our last hope of revving Cybertron?
Megatron: …
Megatron: Okay.Bookmarked by distraught_roach
24 Jun 2026
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“Thank You For Listening, Soundwave” by ckret2
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
14 Jul 2020
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If he’d stopped to think about it beforehand, Soundwave would have expected that the hardest part of starting a mutinous conspiracy would be convincing himself that he wanted to help Starscream to overthrow Megatron. Certainly, convincing himself had been the slowest part. Convincing Shockwave had been much faster.
But no—it turned out that the trickiest bit was convincing Starscream that he wanted to overthrow Megatron.
After everything Starscream had been through, perhaps that wasn't surprising.
(Each chapter is standalone; ongoing continuity but no pre-planned plot arc/ending.)
Bookmarked by distraught_roach
24 Jun 2026
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Messy Reboot by Plessapthorn
Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
21 Jun 2026
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Starscream gets bonked on the helm off camera during a mission and forgets that he’s with the Autobots for a hot second. Knock Out and Bulkhead try to help.
Inspired by a fic where after the events of the TFP final, Starscream gets blinded and taken in by the Autobots.
Bookmarked by distraught_roach
23 Jun 2026
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Forget-me-not: a small flower, with four petals, which are normally found in shades of blue with a pink or white centre. These are traditional flowers of intent in the Shire, used to express true love, and remembrance.
In which Bilbo plans to leave Erebor, and Thorin tries to understand why.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,876
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 1
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- 126
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Bookmarked by distraught_roach
15 May 2026
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Splitting Hairs by orphan_account
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
10 Jun 2018
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Bilbo misinterprets some court gossip.
He cuts his hair.
Chaos ensues.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,153
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 270
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- 9,194
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- 1,235
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Bookmarked by distraught_roach
15 May 2026