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Summary
Harry Potter was the Chosen One, and Neville Longbottom was the boy no one chose. Then Neville defied Voldemort, killed Nagini, and took down Greyback. Neville came out of the war different: You won’t get a rise out of him but you will get a reaction.
After a tumultuous trauma bond with Luna Lovegood and a failed engagement to Hannah Abbott, Neville has sworn off relationships—only to be paired with Pansy Parkinson under the Reconciliation Act. Neville’s running a nursery, guest lecturing in the Hogwarts Herbology Department, and hunting down Death Eaters with Seamus Finnigan, Alicia Spinnet, George Weasley, and the mercenaries Bill Weasley befriended while raiding tombs for Gringotts. He doesn’t need a Slytherin wife whose best mates are Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott. Or does he? When he and Pansy prove extremely sexually compatible, Neville must confront his own questions about love, trust, and vulnerability—just as the revival of blood supremacy and a renewed veneration of Bellatrix have strange new bedfellows seeking him out.
Featuring sex, violence, and poisonous plants, DIRTY, FLIRTY, AND VINDICTIVE takes place during BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC with flashbacks to Neville’s life between 1998 and 2003.
Series
- Part 2 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 172,892
- Chapters:
- 26/26
- Comments:
- 5,725
- Kudos:
- 3,914
- Bookmarks:
- 1,257
- Hits:
- 184,069
Bookmarked by ellsibub
27 Apr 2025
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,484
- Kudos:
- 31,202
- Bookmarks:
- 12,394
- Hits:
- 1,893,108
Bookmarked by ellsibub
10 Mar 2025
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Summary
Tracing the lives of Draco and Hermione over the course of ten years, weaving in and out of each other worlds, Despite their near-misses, wrong places, wrong times, and wrong people, their paths continually intersect.
A sappy love story for fall that will heal, break, and comfort you.
At its soul, it's two people who find each other amidst the chaos of their lives.Dedicated to all the men who weren’t meant to be, and to all the lost loves who stay in our hearts.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 50,430
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 284
- Kudos:
- 1,288
- Bookmarks:
- 570
- Hits:
- 40,836
Bookmarked by ellsibub
18 Feb 2025
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Summary
Complete 31/7/2022
Complete 24/3/2023
Complete 25/12/2022
Completed 26/06/2023
Completed 20/11/2023Following the Fall of Voldemort, the Golden Trio works to return to some semblance of normalcy and heal. The Ministry of Magic rectifies past mistakes with swift retaliation across Europe for Death Eaters and their sympathizers. Hogwarts reopens 6 months after the Second War with Hermione and Draco chosen as Head Students to represent post-war peace and unity. How do they navigate past wounds and trauma while reconciling their growing attraction to one another?
The story begins in summer 1998, where everyone who returns to Hogwarts must complete an extended eighth year. The condition for all involved is at least 30 sessions of Ministry-mandated therapy.
- Words:
- 535,214
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 507
Bookmarked by ellsibub
14 Feb 2025