franofhpmd
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Lessons in Flirting (Unintentionally and Definitely Not Romantically) by shrimprangoon
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
13 Sep 2025
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Summary
Hen sighs. “Something had to be said before you idiots put us in mortal peril.”
“I’d never do anything to jeopardize our safety on a job! You know that Hen.”
“Maybe not on purpose,” Chim chimes in, “but, see, the thing is, when you flirt with our Buck, his brain turns off. He just bluescreens.”
“You’re flustering the poor boy, Eddie,” Hen adds. “And it’s making him dumb.”
“-er,” Chim adds.
“Wha- Buck isn’t flustered.”
Eddie is flustered. His face feels hot. He takes another sip of his coffee to give his hands something do to, but that only makes him feel warmer. Shit.
Hen levels him with the most deadpan look. “Last week he walked into a stop sign after you called him ‘big boy’ on a call.”
Eddie nearly spits out his coffee.
Or: the one where Eddie subconsciously flirts with Buck without realizing and Buck is actively trying not to have a heart attack at work about it
Series
- Part 1 of Lessons in Dumbassery
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 45,342
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 362
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- 3,039
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- 820
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- 52,723
Bookmarked by franofhpmd
01 Nov 2025
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Summary
“My mom said, uh, that his name was Buck. That he was going to go to the fire academy and that he had a—” she broke off, rubbing her own forehead, exactly where his skin went pink. “She said he went by Firehose.”
Buck didn’t need all of his coworkers to look at him in alarm; he was pretty sure he’d gone deadly pale. His daughter knew four things about him, and one of them was his old tinder profile handle. He felt a little like he was going to die.
“She’s got your eyes,” Eddie commented, unhelpfully.
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Buck finds out he has a daughter, and also a stupidly big crush on his best friend. It's an adjustment.
Series
- Part 1 of you could be my baby, baby, baby
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 75,334
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 1,531
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- 4,804
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- 1,302
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- 83,206
Bookmarked by franofhpmd
28 Sep 2025
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Summary
It’s a disaster. There’s nothing for Eddie to do now but rip the Bandaid off.
“I’vebeenlookingatyourGooglehistory,” he says, all at once.
Buck blinks. “You’ve been what?”
“I’ve been—” Eddie breaks off with a huff, and then forces his eyes back up to Buck’s. “I went to the Google home page,” he starts again. “To search the thing about the coupling nut. But then when I clicked on the search bar, the recent history was not mine, because—”
A look of comprehension has begun to dawn on Buck’s face, suddenly.
“Because I was logged in on the iPad,” he says slowly.
- in other words: the slow-moving catastrophe of buck and eddie sharing a search history.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 17,569
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 190
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- 4,631
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- 961
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- 38,685
Bookmarked by franofhpmd
02 Jul 2025
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Summary
“Come on, you’re telling me you wouldn’t consider sneaking into a storage closet with me?”
“Obviously, I would!” Eddie was whisper-yelling now, and Buck wasn’t sure exactly what point he was trying to make, but he was enjoying every second of this. “But one of us is going to have to have restraint and it has to be the—the one with the most experience.”
Buck felt his mouth drop open in delight. “Eddie,” he admonished. “Are you calling me a whore?”
“No!” said Eddie, looking increasingly flustered. “I just mean—clearly you have the power to do—” he gestured at Buck, “that, so you have the—the responsibility to, like, use it. Responsibly.”
“Did you just quote Spiderman?”
Eddie propped his elbows on the table and dropped his head into his hands, groaning dramatically. “I’m going to die. The first date, and I’m going to die.”
“Been there, wouldn’t recommend it.”
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Buck and Eddie and the first date.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,690
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 359
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- 5,920
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- 1,773
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- 48,100
Bookmarked by franofhpmd
15 Jun 2025
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The Totally Awesome Kidnapping of Chris Diaz by HeartOfTheMirror for cloud_wolfbane
Fandoms: 9-1-1 (TV)
16 May 2025
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Summary
Buck didn’t wake up on a random Tuesday morning in sunny Los Angeles and think to himself, “Today I’d like to kidnap a child.” Unfortunately, sometimes these things just happen.
Or:
Set right after season one, in which Buck is already aware he's bisexual, he accidentally kidnaps a child and makes a new BFF while trying very hard not to be arrested for something that is totally, 100% not his fault, he swears. Hijinks ensue.
Series
- Part 1 of Kidnap My Heart
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 29,089
- Chapters:
- 9/9
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 768
- Kudos:
- 5,285
- Bookmarks:
- 1,298
- Hits:
- 53,772
Bookmarked by franofhpmd
31 May 2025