hamburborn



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “They both want to fuck you. That entire family is trying to fuck you. I think we should call the police. Put restraining order for your hole.”

    “Ilya, are you drunk?”

    “Hollander, this is a serious problem!”

    “Just because he is gay, it doesn’t mean he wants to fuck me.” Shane scoffs. “Maybe he’s a bottom too.”

    “So, that’s your problem? Not that he wants your hole?”

    “Ilya, I swear, if you don’t stop saying that word—”

    “It’s wrong, you know,” Ilya informs seriously. “You fucked Rose Landry. Now Peter Landry is trying to fuck you. All the holes are connecting. This is basically incest.”

    “Didn’t you sleep with those Swedish twins in Cabo?”

    “They were not identical. It does not count!”

    OR: Ilya's life gets plagued by a different Landry this time, AKA an interpretation of the 'let's sleep with other people' fight mentioned in TLG, AKA, an ode to Jealous Ilya.

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    26 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    After the tuna melt meltdown, Shane meets Rose Landry, has several deeply inconvenient revelations, and decides to do the only sensible thing: win Ilya back with sincerity, logistics, and a frankly alarming amount of emotional effort.

    Ilya, meanwhile, mistakes every tender gesture for the kind prelude to an inevitable goodbye.

    Or: Shane is living in a romcom. Ilya is living in a Russian tragedy.

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    5/5
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    11 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    5 times Shane discovers a new kink for himself + 1 time he discovers one for Ilya

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    07 May 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    A video of Ilya Rozanov goes insanely viral one weekend. It’s him stopped on a red light, riding one of his bright sportscar, windows down with loud music, singing and bobbing along to Bad Bunny songs, an unlit cig between his lips, blissfully aware smoking (pun intended) hot he looks.

    Few days later, he gets modelling/brand offers he gladly accepts to cure his boredom while Shane is out doing his own brand deals. To get Ilya into the mood, directors let him play his own playlists and do his own thing.

    It breaks the internet.

     

    If there’s one thing that Hayden accidentally outing them Shane is thankful for, it’s the fact that he can now stake his claim on Ilya. He just did not expect it’ll be against most of the internet and a quarter of the league.
    (Greatly inspired by those videos of Connor Storrie dancing during his photoshoots that have not left my mind since I watched them.)

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    04 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “It won’t stop,” Shane said to the floor. His hands slid down and grabbed at his crotch, rubbing frantically over his boxers. “I can’t make it stop.”

    They were still in the fucking hallway, and yes, it was six in the morning, but it was not private. Anyone could walk in, from their own apartments or the elevator. And Shane wasn’t exactly being quiet, gasping and groaning as he massaged himself. Viagra didn’t do this. It didn’t make you lose all sense of space, of boundaries, of… yourself.

    This wasn’t normal. This wasn’t natural.

    ***

    The morning after Ilya watches Shane and Rose together at the club, he gets a call from Shane. Something is wrong, and Shane says Ilya is the only one who can fix it. Ilya knows it's a bad idea, but that's never stopped him before.

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    03 May 2026