hpnerd007



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    When you’re going up in flames, sometimes other people can smell the smoke. On the flip side, at least: when you’re on fire, sometimes other people can feel the warmth.

    Or, scenes from Home Economics, told from the perspective of everyone else.

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    15 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “And you’re sure there’s nothing for you?” David says suddenly. “You’re not—you’re feeling okay? You’re not sick? Shane wouldn’t have any reason to think that you’re sick?”

    Ilya blinks and turns to him. “I am fine. Totally fine. Better than fine, even, before today.”

    “It’s just—Shane’s acting like you’re dying, Ilya.”

    “Not as far as I’m aware,” says Ilya. “And I do not think he would learn this before me.”

    The summer before Ilya joins the Centaurs, Shane wakes up nervous. It doesn't stop from there.

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    12 Apr 2026

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

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    01 Apr 2026

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    His mother’s eyes darken with weariness Shane recognizes instinctually, a grief separate but not wholly unlike his own. A tear makes its way down her cheek, but Shane’s stay put, stubborn, cradled in his lashline like if he doesn’t cry, maybe none of this is as bad as he thinks it is.

    “Just—I just have to ask,” she says. Her voice lowers to a whisper, that ever-steady corner of her mouth wavering as her palm envelopes his cheek. “How long have you been hurting?”

    My whole life, probably, Shane thinks. I'm sorry. I just didn’t know.

    --

    [Or: Shane learns that skill, passion, and meticulous control aren't necessarily immunity, and that rest isn't something he's owed so much as he has to carve out for himself; sometimes with a whisper, sometimes with his pride on the line, sometimes on his hands and knees. And still, regardless, despite—he refuses to give up on this either, even if this time it means believing in himself instead of familiar schedules or rituals. Even if it means his whole life has to change to do it.

    Even if it means having to believe that he's worth that much in the first place.]

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    11 Feb 2026

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    The summer before his second season with the Centaurs, Shane Hollander is supposed to have his body and his life under control. He’s married, training hard, doing everything right.

    So the nausea, the bone-deep exhaustion, the aching chest and low back, the way his body feels wrong in all the old ways he thought he’d outrun?

    He blames stress. He blames the season. He blames anything but himself.

    Shane knows his body. He has spent years fighting for it.

    But one rushed doctor’s visit turns into an ultrasound, and suddenly he’s thirty-plus weeks pregnant with a baby he didn’t plan, didn’t want, and doesn’t know how to make peace with.

    Now he can’t outrun anything anymore.
    Not the dysphoria. Not the fear of the league finding out.
    Not the family he’s already carrying.

    ---

    hi i need more trans!shane hollander. and as a trans man who wants to get pregnant someday obviously i had to make shane pregnant. without him knowing though. sorry bb

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    01 Feb 2026