inthedreamatorium



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”

    “Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.

    He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.

    A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    222,222
    Chapters:
    28/28
    Comments:
    17,402
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    43,924
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    17,126
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    1,995,880

    20 May 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is heavier than he used to be; his weight bears down on Ilya in a new way. He’s put on pounds of muscle since Ilya last touched him like this. Ilya flattens his palms, skims them under Shane’s undershirt, feels the flat solidity of his abs, the bulk of his lats, the swell of his chest. It’s the same and it’s new, this body; it’s the boy he couldn’t stop thinking about when he was 18 and the man he loved enough to let go at 26 and the person who somehow always comes to find him when he’s lost.

    A stranger, and the love of his life.

     

    or, Ilya's father doesn't die in 2017; Ilya breaks up with Shane instead of confessing his love. They get older, but not any less stupid about each other. Shane gets a boyfriend; Ilya gets on medication; they work on becoming whole people. And they always find their way back to each other.

    OR a story for those who love Shane and Ilya's baby love but ALSO think it's hot when people in their thirties make active choices about who they are and what they want in their partner!!

    Note: the "cheating" tag refers to the relationship between Shane and his aforementioned BF, not to Shane and Ilya cheating on each other.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,339
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,545
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    7,873
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    3,535
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    185,144

    18 May 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    In the early hours of Saturday, the Hockey world was ablaze with the news that Ilya Rozanov was dead. Killed in a tragic car accident leaving behind a slew of devastated fans and a grieving husband still reeling in shock.

    The news also came as an incredible shock to Ilya when he awoke that same day, hungover and bleary, but very much alive. 

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,385
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2,356
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    40,652
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    9,605
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    459,680

    31 Mar 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    “I am out for the season?”

    “Probably."

    “Are you by any chance looking for a trophy husband?”

    “Ilya.”

    “Yes? No?”

    “It’s one season, Ilya, we’re not—it’s bad because you’re hurting, not because—I’m not letting this fuck anything up for us, okay? We’ll figure something out,” Shane says, resolutely.

    or, you know what they say about the best laid plans

    ilya’s first year in ottawa looks a little different than originally planned, maybe sort of because he ends up spending it recovering a broken leg in his boyfriend’s apartment, but probably mostly because he meets jackie pike

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    52,889
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    9
    Comments:
    828
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    9,426
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    3,686
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    10 Mar 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    He only realizes he’s doing it when it’s too late to stop.

    He’s standing in the drink aisle of the grocery store, checking the expiration dates on the cans of Coke, mentally cross-checking them with Boston’s away game schedule, and the reality hits him like someone shook one of those cans and popped it open. A snap. A fizz. A mess.

    Shane is making space for Ilya.

     

    (or, lessons in budget-friendly shopping, home decor, and resisting the urge to neatly combine all your situationship’s shit into a drawer in your bedroom because you might be falling in love with him: a seven-ish step guide by shane hollander, who is so, so fucked)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,048
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    17
    Comments:
    1,188
    Kudos:
    20,242
    Bookmarks:
    7,052
    Hits:
    310,279

    28 Feb 2026