lucylarson



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    Forester (Admirals🔛🔝)
    So the true way to combat the Bisexual Russian Terminator isn’t with homophobia...
    It's actually with even more gay
    ...
    You're a goddamn genius.

    ----

    The NHL rookies have joined forces to strategize now that two of the greatest hockey players of all time are on the same team and Ilya Rozanov must suffer from the unintended consequences of making hockey more woke.

    Mainly, the way everyone keeps implying that they want to fuck his husband.

    or: a group of rookies unionize and employ chirping as a form of psychological torture against a one Ilya Grigoryevich Rozanov.

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    09 Jun 2026

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    “There’s no need to help. Everything is fine,” Ilya tries to reassure him and wraps his arms around Shane’s waist, pulling him closer. “Come here. Give me a kiss.”

    Give me a kiss.

    The words echo loudly inside his head.

    It’s not how he used to say it.

    Back when words didn’t come so easily and back when he was too scared to ask for what he wanted, everything was simpler and smaller.

    OR: As Ilya's English gets better, his Russian gets a little rusty. So, he has a crisis about it.

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    09 Jun 2026

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    “If I gave Jackie a day of getting to have sex with me whenever she wants as a thank you for tidying the living room, I think she’d divorce me,” Hayden says.

    “Nah, man, she’d kill you,” J. J. says, which is probably true.

    Shane shrugs. “That sounds like a straight people problem.”

    Hayden is truly glad that the times of Shane torturing himself by being in the closet are over. But. Well. This conversation is kind of making him miss those days.

    ---

    Finally, after everything, Shane is a happily married man. Incredibly happily married. It only becomes a problem once he thinks it qualifies him to dispense relationship advice.

    Or, five times Shane gives relationship advice his friends disagree with, and one time he doesn’t.

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    09 Jun 2026

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    Shane starts a letterboxed. Ilya does too, for some reason.

    From godzllas on twt: hollanov fic where someone forces shane to get letterboxd and fans start questioning what is going on bc ilya and shane keep logging the same movies

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    08 Jun 2026

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    “They both want to fuck you. That entire family is trying to fuck you. I think we should call the police. Put restraining order for your hole.”

    “Ilya, are you drunk?”

    “Hollander, this is a serious problem!”

    “Just because he is gay, it doesn’t mean he wants to fuck me.” Shane scoffs. “Maybe he’s a bottom too.”

    “So, that’s your problem? Not that he wants your hole?”

    “Ilya, I swear, if you don’t stop saying that word—”

    “It’s wrong, you know,” Ilya informs seriously. “You fucked Rose Landry. Now Peter Landry is trying to fuck you. All the holes are connecting. This is basically incest.”

    “Didn’t you sleep with those Swedish twins in Cabo?”

    “They were not identical. It does not count!”

    OR: Ilya's life gets plagued by a different Landry this time, AKA an interpretation of the 'let's sleep with other people' fight mentioned in TLG, AKA, an ode to Jealous Ilya.

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    08 Jun 2026