perihelionic

Rock out with your...yup.



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    Shane knew what people said about sharing true names: that it made sex better, like fucking bare except with all your witch senses involved, that even for people with no witch gift to speak of it was like your entire body was on fire. It probably wouldn’t be like that with Ilya, because sex with Ilya already felt like his entire body was on fire.

    A universe in which the stakes for tuna meltdown are totally different and also kind of the same. Love, witchcraft, and true names.

    Note: If you read this before 3/23, I recently realized that a key scene at the end of Chapter 7 didn’t make the leap from my google doc. Now fixed! Now with more feelings!

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    03 May 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    The second time Shane Hollander wakes up on November 16th, he has a panic attack.

    The problem is — he tries to explain through gasped breaths after Hayden basically knocks down his door, shouting that they’re going to miss their flight — the thing is, Shane’s already woken up on November 16th. He’s already flown to Boston. He’s already been to practice, and he’s checked into the hotel, and he has lived this day before.

    He doesn’t mention that he’s also already fucked Ilya Rozanov twice and had a fucking tuna melt that Rozanov made and drank the ginger ale that Rozanov bought specifically for him. He doesn’t mention that they’d snuggled on the couch watching TV like some kind of couple, like boyfriends.

    He doesn’t mention that he fell asleep thinking about how Ilya — fuck, no, thinking about how Rozanov had called him sweetheart and Shane, and that, even now, he can’t quite get the cadence of Ilya’s voice out of his head.

    Or: After the tuna melt fiasco, Shane Hollander wakes up in a time loop.

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    1/1
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    28 Apr 2026

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    “Where are you going?”

    “To the arena, Hollander. We are playing a game in three hours.”

    “That’s tomorrow, Rozanov,” Hollander says, smirking like Ilya might be fucking with him and he wants to make sure he’s in on the joke. He looks behind and around him. “Um, can I come inside?”

    “Hollander, we have game today. You were here yesterday.”

    Hollander is striding toward his kitchen, looking over his shoulder at Ilya like he’s getting tired of the joke. “Very funny. I was in Montreal yesterday, Rozanov.”

    “Hollander.” Ilya goes to stand in front of him. Hollander’s eyes flicker up and down his body the way that Ilya usually craves, but is rather unwelcome right now. “Today is Thursday. Game is today. Yesterday, you came to my house. We ate tuna melts, watched Buffalo game. Then, you left.”

    “Rozanov, it’s Wednesday morning. And I’ve never been to your house before.”

    “Hollander…”

    “Look at your phone if you don’t believe me.”

    Ilya snorts like a bull and pulls his phone out of his pocket, swipes down on the screen to look at the date.

    Wednesday, November 9th.


    Or: Ilya Rozanov in Groundhog Day!

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    28 Apr 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    27 Apr 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    just some fics all taking place in the universe of shane hollander boy kisser confirmed!, where shane, ilya, and friends are continually subjected to the torture nexus that is social media discourse. no need to read any of the other fics in the series for any individual work

    Words:
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    27 Apr 2026

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