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Hermione Granger’s Practical Guide to Recreational Activities by GildedGranger
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
Hermione Granger’s Practical Guide to Recreational Activities is a highly educational study on the importance of taking vacation days, drinking questionable amounts of champagne, and making increasingly irresponsible life choices.
After Ron Weasley dumps her, Hermione agrees to spend a month island-hopping across Europe with Fred and George Weasley. What begins as a rebound holiday quickly spirals into luxury resorts, private yachts, designer dresses, surprise destinations, and two very determined twins who seem intent on spoiling her rotten.
Featuring chaotic vacation energy, rich Slytherins with poor boundaries, Theodore Nott encouraging bad decisions, Draco Malfoy appearing everywhere, and enough smut to qualify as a public safety concern, this guide asks one important question:
What happens when Hermione Granger finally stops being responsible?
Further research is ongoing.
*Updates Every Friday*
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Four years. He’d let it go on for four years.
After the war exploded, bleeding out into the Muggle world and decimating everything in its path, he’d still given it time. He’d allowed her the independence she craved despite the voice screaming in his head to take what belonged to him and hide it away.
But when Hermione has another close call during a battle, Bill’s restraint finally snaps.
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Remus and Hermione are back at Hogwarts, him to teach and her to learn. The Powers that Be have decided, in order to help the two of them find stability after the War, to house them together.
Clearly, the Powers that Be did not have their heads on straight. Because mornings with Hermione Granger—watching her flaunt herself around in her tiny pajamas, hearing her moan his name through the walls as he's waking up, smelling the evidence of her interest as she takes her morning tea—are not making Remus feel very stable.
He's only a man. Less than—he's only a werewolf. What, exactly, is he to do?
~* Five times mornings with Hermione drove Remus mad, and one time they did not. *~
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“For the record,” she blurted before she could stop herself, “You aren’t ‘old and wretched.’ In fact you look -” Hermione cut herself off, her brain catching up before she could say something truly disastrous like "even better than before" or worse yet, "utterly edible".
“ - the same.” She finished lamely. “Since I last saw you ten years ago, you still look - er - the same.”
At this, Remus burst into good-natured laughter, rocking back on his heels.
“Thank goodness for small mercies,” he said, eyes crinkling at Hermione. “Has it really been ten years since I saw you last?” he asked.
Hermione nodded with a small smile.
He fell quiet, gazing steadily at her, chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip.
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Remus Lupin has been doing important research on an island in the middle of nowhere for years. When he finally gets a Research Assistant, he is shocked to see that it's Hermione Granger. She doesn't need him to be as excited as she is, she knows her presence is a surprise...she's just hoping it's not an unwelcome one.
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“What the hell are you doing here?”
“Granger.”
Malfoy's voice hit a weird, uneasy register as he said her name, one that made Lydia’s eyes pop comically wide in Hermione’s direction. Seb’s golden brown hair, tied back and boasting a frizzy halo to rival her own, filled her gaze as she averted her eyes and the world blurred. She could only hazily make out his hands placed on the carrier sitting atop the desk, as though he was mid benediction. A cat-christening. A catechism?
Hermione might be going mildly insane. The puns were always the first indication.