saltinecrackers
Fandoms
Recent works
-
read it and weep by saltinecrackers for chscrz
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
02 Feb 2026
Tags
Summary
"Okay, but objectively," Kaveh started, pacing back and forth across the living room rug, "do you guys think he's hot?"
"We've never seen his face, Kaveh."
"Stop looking at me like that. I just want to know if he's handsome. Is that a crime?"
Alhaitham, who had gone very quiet, snapped his book shut.
"I need to make a call."
Kaveh blinked at him. "A call? To who?"
"Work."
Tighnari frowned. "You've never mentioned what you actually do for work."
Alhaitham was already halfway to the door. "Because none of you would understand it."
Kaveh is a cosplayer; in other words, a modern-day Prince Charming in a world where chivalry is dead, as quoted from Cyno.
All artists know that art, in any form, comes from a fundamental basis of inspiration. He's a very big fan of the anonymous comic book author known by the pseudonym “Sage". He doesn't make much of an effort to hide this fact.
The only issue is this: he also has no idea that "Sage" lives in the same apartment, one door down.
-
Tags
Summary
The problem, Kaveh decides, wasn’t just that Alhaitham had no range, even when the similarities were so close all he’d have to do was change his name. It was that Nilou somehow expected him to fix it. Performance chemistry was not something you could brute-force by proximity and stubbornness and sheer willpower. Kaveh has already spent a full semester proving that Alhaitham was biologically immune to charm.
Nilou rubbed her temples.
“Okay, look. You’re actors—well, one of you is. You’re meant to create illusions. Maybe just… pretend you don’t hate each other? And then hate each other when it calls for it.”
“We don’t hate each other,” Kaveh snapped.
Alhaitham, beside him, nodded agreeably. “I simply find him taxing.”
In Sumeru University’s production of Barefoot in the Park, Kaveh’s original scene partner breaks a leg. Literally. His insufferable roommate steps up to the plate. Only: they have zero chemistry and turn to alternatives, i.e, method acting.
But it’s fine, they’re adults. What could go wrong?
-
Tags
Summary
Kaveh stared at him for one beat too long, then said, “You’ve got to be kidding.”
Alhaitham didn’t turn. “Hello to you too.”
“You’re on the panel.”
“Yes.”
“And you’re back in Sumeru.”
“My residency ended.”
Kaveh exhaled through his nose. “Of course.”
A year after an awful blind date, Kaveh ends up on a university panel with Alhaitham. They haven’t spoken since, but now they’re forced back into each other’s proximity—first onstage, then over email, and eventually in person, again. It goes about as well as expected.
Recent bookmarks
-
the voracity of your need by Legendaerie for saltinecrackers
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
07 Mar 2026
Tags
Summary
In the aftermath of Azar's removal and Nahida's freedom, dreams return to Sumeru. Alhaitham's, however, seem a little odd.
Surely it's nothing to worry about, right?
-
kiss a kitty by persimmonsandcats
Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga), 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime)
15 Jun 2025
Tags
Summary
“We have a problem.” Satoru announces, slamming into Suguru’s studio two days later. He feels guilty. Like so so guilty.
“That so?” Suguru asks from his bed, lounging in a pair of sweats, his shirt hiked up. He scratches at his happy trail and glances over at Satoru. His demeanor changes instantly at whatever he sees on Satoru’s face. He swings his feet off his low bed, sitting up and leaning forward. “Satoru, what’s wrong?”
Satoru situates himself on the bed next to Suguru, crossing his legs and sitting so they’re facing each other. He meets Suguru’s eyes and cannot speak. Totally blank brain. Suguru touches his knee gently, probably about to say something helpful and kind like take your time or whatever you need.
For some reason, Satoru panics.
“I can’t come.” He announces, much louder than he needs to. “Unless I’m thinking about you.”
-
With Great Power Comes a Terrible Rent Split by dtnvrr4
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
27 May 2025
Tags
Summary
Alhaitham is just trying to survive his final year of university while juggling his secret identity as Spider-Man without jeopardizing his academic standing or dying. Simple goals. Unfortunately, his biggest obstacle isn’t a supervillain—it’s his endearingly overdramatic roommate.
Who won’t stop asking Alhaitham why he keeps coming home bruised.
And won't stop yelling at Spider-Man to understand basic architectural integrity when slamming bad guys into buildings.
(Or: Spider-Man!Alhaitham and Gwen Stacy!Kaveh)
Series
- Part 1 of The (Not So) Greater Good
-
Tags
Summary
Hakari gives Kirara some of his leftover pachinko candies. Kirara is over the moon at the "special" gift.
Hakari is very pleased with how Kirara thanks him.
-
Tags
Summary
On the nights where the heat goes out, Kirara usually sleeps with him in his bed.
or
Kirara and Hakari are roommates, though that's putting it lightly.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,907
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 39
- Kudos:
- 1,736
- Bookmarks:
- 259
- Hits:
- 11,640
Bookmarked by saltinecrackers
05 Feb 2026