telegamines



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    The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.

    He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.


    +16319607169

    See? That is what I need. Do not care that you are not professional. You are best
    This is Ilya Rozanov

    Yuna

    This is a fucking joke, right?

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    21 Mar 2026

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    “Come on,” Comeau says. “Are we all just supposed to pretend it's normal that you’re still playing house with Ilya Rozanov?”

    “Gil—” J.J. says, but Shane doesn’t want him to finish that sentence, to pull Comeau gently off the ledge he’s steering himself toward. Shane wants to push him, kicking and screaming, to make them say it to his fucking face. That after all this time, they still hate him for the heinous crime of falling in love.

    “We’ve been married for two years,” Shane says. “I’m not sure that qualifies as playing house. I mean, it’s longer than you were with your first wife, isn’t it?”

    Or: Shane reunites with his former teammates at J.J.'s bachelor party. He's finally ready to say (and maybe punch) his piece.

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    21 Mar 2026

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    "I can help you, you know?", Shane says, although he's already sitting on one of the highchairs at their kitchen isle.

    "Ah no, you will do nothing. I want to make disgusting smoothie for you to enjoy on the morning of our wedding day. You just sit and look pretty," Ilya counters seriously as he starts cutting up some kale. Usually Shane would quip something back, but he feels a grin form on his face at the reminder that today was, in fact, his wedding day. So instead he just says: "I love you."

    Ilya looks up at him with a smile. "I love you, too," before going back to slicing greens.

    Shane puts an elbow on the surface of the isle and rests his chin in his hand as he watches his fiance prepare his favorite smoothie, a fond smile never leaving his face.

    "We're getting married in a few hours," he says in awe.

    "Yes, I know. That is what 'wedding day' means, no?", Ilya retorts and Shane huffs a laugh. "Shut up," he says half heartedly and Ilya responds with a grin.

     

    OR: The Hollanov wedding reimagined

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    21 Mar 2026

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    A memory loss fic where Shane gets hit hard in the head and wakes up in the hospital. He thinks he is 27, sneaking around with Ilya and still in the closet, only to learn that they are married.

    ~

    Tears spilled down his mother's cheeks. “No, honey, you’re not twenty seven. You're twenty nine. Almost thirty.”

    Shane snorted. “That can’t—”

    “It is, sweetheart. And Ilya is…”

    She glanced at the door where two large shadows stood just beyond the frosted glass window. The shorter one embraced the much, much taller one.

    Shane’s heart started beating frantically in his chest. His head pounded as he tried to take in what he was hearing, tried to process what the fuck his mother was saying to him.

    “Ilya,” he squeaked. “Ilya is what?”

    “Ilya is your husband.”

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    21 Mar 2026

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    “Were you thinking of also bringing clothes?” Shane asked, glancing into Ilya’s suitcase.

    “Do you think we will need them?”

    “I’m just saying you might want the option of going outside,” Shane said, dropping a kiss on Ilya’s shoulder and wandering into the closet.

    Ilya was obviously going to pack clothing, he just had priorities. Like making sure their whole sex toy collection would fit into his suitcase, not to mention two of the biggest bottles of lube he’d been able to find.

    “Take the batteries out of anything that vibrates,” Shane called. Ilya rolled his eyes. What was he, an amateur? “Do you think I should bring two pairs of walking shoes or is one enough?”

    “How many walking tours are we going on?”

    “I don’t know.”

    “How do you not know? What have you been doing for the past month?”

    “Research! But I didn’t book anything yet in case we decide we want to just sit by the pool for ten days instead.”

     

    Or: Shane and Ilya Go Honeymooning. Set after The Long Game.

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    21 Mar 2026

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