whoneedscanon



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Sock @ilyarozanovssocks
    Mate, I can guarantee that absolutely no one would be lucky to have you.

    Lily @shanehollandersrealgf
    Ah, and Rozanov is better than me?

    Sock @ilyarozanovssocks
    Obviously.

    Or: Ilya wants to thirst and brag about his boyfriend in public, so he finds a way to do so.

    Series
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    24 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s like they’re in a fucked up game of relationship chicken now, increasingly doing things together that Shane can’t describe as anything other than domestic and romantic and boyfriend-like. They text constantly, detailing their days and sharing everything from complaints about teammates to jokes about other players in the league to the kind of quiet worries about family that don’t need to be responded to, just heard by another person.

    Or maybe it’s like Schroedinger’s cat. As long as Shane doesn’t ask, doesn’t speak out loud, he can have this. It can exist, and it cannot exist at the same time as long as Shane doesn’t press too hard. Doesn’t want too much.

    It feels increasingly like agony now that he’s realized that he loves Ilya.

    ...

    Tunameltdown AU where Ilya makes him tuna melts and says his name and Shane doesn’t freak out and run away. Well, he does freak out, but he also stays. Or the one where Shane doesn’t realize that Ilya’s his boyfriend for a solid three months.

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    23 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    yeeeeeeaaaahhh YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! [breaks the sound barrier with my next yeah]

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    “Wait, Mr. Raiders fan,” Rozanov calls.

    Constable Sullivan pauses.

    “I get a phone call, yes?”

    “Sure.” He pulls out his own phone. “Do you know the number?”

    Rozanov nods. The numbers all come out in a rush, as though he’s memorized it in one long string and can’t think of any of them separately.

    It’s a Montreal area code, the constable notes, as he types it in. As the phone rings, he puts it on speaker and asks Rozanov: “Who is it?”

    “Shane Hollander.”

    “Fuck off. Who is it really?”

    Or: in the midst of the Rose breakup, the Raiders win a game in Montreal. Unable to do what he normally does after Montreal games, Ilya goes out to a club, gets super drunk, and ends up getting picked up by Montreal police for public intoxication. Sitting in a holding cell, the only number he can remember is Shane's.

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    21 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is silent for so long that Rozanov leans, slouching against the doorframe, and raises his eyebrows at him expectantly. “Yes? You are selling bibles?”
    “You fucked my girlfriend.” It tears out of him.
    “Ah,” Rozanov drawls, as if the thought is just now occurring to him, “yes. I did.”

     

    based on a tweet

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    18 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Oh you want angst? Oh you wanted toxic actions from both Shane and Ilya? Oh you want Shane Hollander’s revelation of homosexuality while taking the holy sacrament of Ilya Rozanov’s cock for the first time? Well boy do I have the fic for you!!!!!!

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Why the fuck do you care what happens to Rozanov?”

    Shane doesn’t answer.

    He’s already running for the Raiders’ locker room.

    ⎯⎯⎯

    Or, Ilya has a panic attack in the Raiders' locker room after getting a phone call from his brother telling him about his father’s death.

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    17 Jun 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Chapter 17