wildwinter
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Summary
has your brain ever been so consumed by gay hockey players that you suddenly feel compelled to make nsfw art? yeah me too.
(a collection of my nsfw hollanov art. very nsfw.)
- Language:
- English
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- 0
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- 7/?
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Bookmarked by wildwinter
07 May 2026
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Summary
none of these stories are interconnected. they can be read in any order, and you're not missing something if you skip some of them. it's just all my HR fic, gathered in one place.
- Words:
- 193,280
- Works:
- 25
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frequently, secretly fond of each other. by milominderbinder
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
14 May 2026
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Summary
Shrugging one shoulder far more casually than he possibly feels, Ilya says, “I like both. Is secret, okay?”
“Okay,” Hollander says, voice cracking.
He doesn’t say anything else. The air’s so heavy around them that it feels like being in the middle of a scrum, the weight and heat of all those bodies pressing down on you. Danger always feels like hockey; it’s the most dangerous thing Ilya knows, except for this. Everything dangerous in his life involves men’s bodies and just how close he can get to them. Closer than he probably should.
A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.
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- Part 1 of frequently, secretly.
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"I'm not gay, Rodney," John says, and it's awkward to have to say it, but it really has to be said.
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- English
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- 7,988
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- 1/1
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Bookmarked by wildwinter
01 May 2019
Bookmarker's Notes
Speranza has a real gift for writing middle-aged, flesh-and-blood men with a little wear and tear – taciturn, laconic, eccentric, there might even be a little belly, scrappy beard, eye bags. Her men are carnal and incredibly, powerfully sexy.
I’m serious, some of the most erotic sex scenes I’ve ever read – because they are awkward, animalistic, unsophisticated. And always deeply, unselfconsciously emotional.
Her precious gift comes especially to the fore with this couple – all her McKay/Sheppard stories are great, but this one especially. -
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Summary
Draco breaks a cup, and one thing leads to another. A story of redemption, tattoos, dreams, mistakes, green eyes, long conversations, and copious amounts of coffee.
Set in New York twelve years after the war.
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- English
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- 253,826
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- 42/42
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Bookmarked by wildwinter
05 Mar 2020
Bookmarker's Notes
I’ve thought a lot about why I like Harry Potter and its fanfiction so much.
I’m a late-comer to Harry, I was too adolescent snobbish to read the series when I should have (about 20 years ago :-) – and then deliberately did not touch it to be able to discover it with my son.There was one moment while reading, when I felt this tingle of elation, this feeling of having stumbled unto something really good and meaningful to me.
This was the scene when Harry discovered the Black family tapestry in Sirius’ house and the intergenerational family tree of the Black/Malfoys unfolded in front of our eyes, featuring several members burned out.And there it is, that’s the draw of these stories for me.
JKR has written a quite sophisticated tale about the intergenerational effect of narcissistic ideology, violence and war trauma on both victim and perpetrator families, the unavoidable attachment disorders that always follow this kind of trauma - and their various and deleterious effects on the next generations and society.
And these are exactly the themes my favorite fanfiction writers brilliantly and poignantly elaborate on in their storiesAnd in this particular story, the way SebastianL captures, scene after heartbreaking scene, the encroaching, tainting, warping effect of ideological, narcissistic and emotional abuse in childhood, it just blew me away.
For example this scene about Draco’s happiest day, when they consciously, abusively imprint the ideologically appropriate patronus – it is, by far, the best, most powerful allegory of narcissistic, ideological and emotional abuse in childhood I have ever read. In any fiction.
It broke my heart, especially Draco’s helpless acknowledgement, that this is still his happiest day.
That this is, STILL, his imprint of attachment, of being seen, of being loved, even though it is thoroughly warped and fabricated.
How can a child survive that? How can a child navigate a childhood this warped, this void of any real attachment, while being spoiled at the same time? It must be so incredibly damaging and confusing.Or for example Draco contacting his father again, after all that happened, after all his inner work and growth, after he put thousands of kilometers between him and his toxic family, after everything – he still, desperately wanted his father to SEE him, as a separate being, as a person. To be acknowledged, accepted and heard – and loved.
SebastianL describes on point exactly the self-destructive compulsion kids have, who grew up in these kinds of families. This futile insanity to always go back to the source of all the pain and try, again, to be seen. Ugh.In this story, there are all these little scenes which make palpable, really make me feel in my bones, the emotional and psychological effects of totalitarian, inhumane ideologies, how they infiltrate the most private places, how they warp any and all attachment between human beings from birth – and then leave seriously damaged people for generations to come.
So even if there are some pacing issues and the end of the story left me slightly emotionally drained because I did not experience the psychologically plausible closure I craved, I will always treasure this story for it’s deep insight and powerful allegories.