wizardempire
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nobody butters me up like you / nobody fucks me like me by wizardempire
Fandoms: Challengers (Movie 2024)
23 Aug 2025
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Sometimes, though, Patrick doesn’t answer. Sometimes it just pisses him off, too. As if he’s nothing more than Art’s good little dog. As if he’s been waiting by the phone for ten years, yearning for a California area code. As if he lies in bed every night and jerks off sadly thinking about blonde hair and blue-brown eyes. Patrick despises feeling like Art’s backburner project, something he’s kept on the side for all these years just in case he starts feeling oh-so stifled by his American fucking dream.
Patrick hopes he chokes on it.
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the inherent mysticism of the telephone. the inherent mysticism of a man you used to know. Hilarity ensues! (it doesn't) -
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"In that room ahead of us, Scully, lies definitive proof that will change the fabric of our reality, proof that will grind the gears of society to a halt. Are you ready to find out the truth?"
"What’s in there?" She looks through the doorway, trying to pierce the darkness beyond its threshold. Despite everything, Scully is a little bit curious. She always is.
"I don’t know. I waited for you," Mulder says, steering them into the unknown.
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some tourist trap antics and a motel room moment with a little bit of case sandwiched in between. two of the smartest people out there and yet they still can't figure out that they're in love!
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unavailability is the only thing that turns you on by wizardempire
Fandoms: Challengers (Movie 2024)
28 Jan 2025
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Art moves to sit on the edge of the bed. He presses the back of his hand to Patrick’s forehead the way his grandma always did when he was sick. Admittedly, he doesn’t really know what he’s looking for, but he definitely feels warm. “I don’t think you’ve just got a cold, man.”
“Doctor fucking Donaldson…” Patrick grumbles, swatting his hand away.
“Are you still pissed?”
“Are you?”
“I mean… yeah. But I can take a pause. Just until you’re not falling to pieces in my bed.”
Patrick snorts. “You wish.”
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patrick is sick. art takes him in, and tashi visits while he naps. they all dance around the things they really want to say. it's fun and flirty!
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“Aw, c’mon. I know you’re not as prickly as you seem, Art Donaldson.” Patrick kicks dirt at him.
“And how do you know that?” Art tips his hat down over his eyes.
“Well, I dunno. But I’m gonna crack that shell of yours. Even if it kills me.”
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brokeback mountain au. patrick and art meet on a job herding sheep in 1960s wyoming. over the next twenty years, things get complicated! if you haven't seen brokeback mountain you can think of this as essentially a tragic cowboy au
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never waste a friday night on a first date by wizardempire
Fandoms: Challengers (Movie 2024)
14 Jan 2025
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Patrick groans, flopping back onto his bed. “Fucking Bridget. She’s verbally third-wheeling us, man. Every single conversation, all you ever talk about is Bridget.”
“She’s cool! And her roommate is away right now, so…” Art grabs a light pink button-up.
“Great. The sex shirt.”
Art pauses, shirt halfway over his head. “The what?”
“That’s the shirt you wear every single time you’re off to hook up with somebody.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I own a million shirts—”
“Yeah, but that’s the sex shirt.”
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another challengers 5+1... five laters, one now.
Recent series
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a collection of jupeter fics set in a universe where juno is a bartender <3
- Words:
- 3,540
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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Here Art is, horny and alone, looking for something that will help him forget, because it’s been years and he’s been so good, hasn’t he? Hasn’t he been good? Hasn’t he kept his thoughts pure, hasn’t he been focused on what matters? Hasn’t he earned the right to be just a little bit bad?
That’s the mantra Art settles with as he scrolls past video after video, trying to settle on something quick before he loses his nerve. That is until one stops him dead in his tracks.
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It feels like they’re trapped in this bubble where it’s just Trevor and him, staying in a fraternity house vacant of the usual structure of Greek life. It’s so weird for Jamie to be on campus, in the house, and not have the guys around.
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Nearly ten years after a rookie Leon tells a rookie Connor they have to stop messing around, the Oilers lose the Cup and the shock of it knocks loose a cascade of buried feeling between them. With more attention on the team than ever, rising tensions over the course of the season—both good and bad—start to hinder their communication on the ice and, in turn, their chances in the 2025 playoffs.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 135,242
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 209
- Kudos:
- 344
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- 102
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Bookmarked by wizardempire
31 Oct 2025
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After receiving news that his visa renewal application has been denied, rock star Lestat de Lioncourt faces deportation back to France. To avoid this, Lestat convinces his assistant, Louis, to marry him in exchange for the fame and money that would help establish him as a serious artist.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 152,571
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Comments:
- 668
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- 1,949
- Bookmarks:
- 589
- Hits:
- 65,807
Bookmarked by wizardempire
01 Oct 2025
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“Jesus,” Daniel said, once his dead heart had stopped racing.
“I don’t care for him,” Armand said. He was tapping away at his iPad. “Tell me. Which word do you think would cause greater offense: vapid or insipid?”
“Insipid,” Daniel said immediately, then, taking a closer look at the screen, “Are you fucking review bombing Lestat’s album?”
“It’s something to do,” Armand sighed.
Daniel just wants to get through The Vampire Lestat's documentary in one piece. The Vampires Lestat, Louis and Armand aren't making it any easier for him.
Bookmarked by wizardempire
30 Sep 2025