worthlesspie
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What the hell, Peter?! by paralleling
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types
15 May 2025
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Summary
“Hey, ‘Pool, remember what you said when we first met?”
“About how adorable you were in your Tobey Maguire movies?”
“What? No, you never said that. Tobey Who?”
“Ah, never mind, that was in the comics, I think it was Cable & Deadpool #24? Hmmm… Oh, wait, I remember, I was telling you about how you had the finest ass I’d ever—”
“No,” Spider-Man cuts in, firmly. “No, Deadpool, it was like, after all that. After we fought together for the first time, remember what you said?” He motions with his hands as though he was trying to prompt the right response.
“Oh! That you were so cute and awesome, you could get a free hit on the house— oh,” His white lenses widen with realization, then squint in confusion. “Wait, Spider-Man wants to call in a hit on someone?”
———
As Parker luck would have it, it's awfully hard for Peter to die. He's tried everything he can think of: hanging, drowning, overdosing, gassing, cutting... He's been blessed with the powers of a spider and the immortality of a goddamn cockroach. In a final, desperate attempt to end his life, he asks Deadpool to put out a hit on a seemingly ordinary civilian: Peter Parker.
Series
- Part 1 of Peter Parker is Totally Mentally Stable
- Part 2 of If I Have to Suffer, Then so Does Peter Parker
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,547
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 212
- Kudos:
- 2,260
- Bookmarks:
- 281
- Hits:
- 14,108
Bookmarked by worthlesspie
09 Jun 2025
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tell me all the ways to love you by orphan_account
Fandoms: HIStory3: 那一天 | HIStory3: Make Our Days Count
31 Dec 2019
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Summary
Ever since that time he'd gotten sick and, unbeknownst to himself, had got off with Shi Gu's hand pressing against his dick in all the right places, even just the thought of him makes Hao Ting incredibly horny. But you see, the funny thing about Xiang Hao Ting is that, by unfortunate design, he just so happens to be a self-deprecating masochist that willingly subjects himself to such debilitating conditions.
Because, while he thinks about Yu Shi Gu more times in a day than he'd like to admit, he sees him almost just as much.
Which, of course, makes him even hornier.
Bookmarked by worthlesspie
17 Nov 2021
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Summary
"I don't think I ever want to kiss a boy ever again."
In which Isak becomes jaded after he gets cheated on and copes using sarcasm and humor. He's determined to end the school year without drama and avoids his ex and all his awful friends at all costs. Well, all of them except maybe half-decent Even Bech Næsheim, who's somehow determined to earn his friendship and fix his heart.
Or: Isak is hurt and hardened and Even makes him tender and soft.
Series
- Part 16 of In Every Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,045
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 222
- Kudos:
- 2,464
- Bookmarks:
- 359
- Hits:
- 31,347
Bookmarked by worthlesspie
14 May 2020
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Summary
“You’re after my heart, aren’t you?” said Even, leaning against the bar counter.
“I thought we had already established that,” Isak smiled.Or Even is Isak's favorite bartender and there's some mutual pining involved.
Series
- Part 11 of In Every Universe
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,769
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Comments:
- 235
- Kudos:
- 2,467
- Bookmarks:
- 328
- Hits:
- 33,606
Bookmarked by worthlesspie
14 May 2020
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Summary
It makes him wonder, if there’s a universe where Eliott could remotely feel a little of what Lucas feels right in the middle of his chest, and, if by some luck, that universe is this one. Lucas wonders, and wonders, if this is the universe where he gets to be happy with the boy he loves.
or
the one where le gang goes on their first vacation together and everything feels epic, until it doesn't
Bookmarked by worthlesspie
16 Sep 2019