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It hasn't been easy.
Well, some of it has been but for the most part it's been a constant uphill shitfight.
Because Bea might not be Queen anymore, but that doesn't mean the mantle has disappeared altogether.
Because conflict is constant, but Bea is too.
Leaders come and go. They scrap and fight and tear each other to pieces, and Bea stays removed from it all with Allie at her side.
Because they've done their fighting, and it's someone else's war now.
So they come, constantly, inevitably, for Bea’s advice. For her counsel, for her support.
And she gives what she can willingly. What she can without disrupting the strictly neutral stance she's carved into the ground around her, and she doesn't let anything sway her.
And Allie loves her for it.
-
Things move and change but they remain solid.
Pretty young things come and go, making eyes at one or both of them but it's useless.
Because Allie only has eyes for the woman who helped her save her own life, and Bea is the same.
They become the boring lesbians in cell block H and Allie’s never been happier to live like an old maid.
Well, apart from the sex that is.
Because that's just as good as it was on day fucking one, and the world may spin around them but wanting never stops.
Bea becomes braver, bolder, sheds the old scared Bea like a useless skin and turns into the woman Allie always knew she had inside.
It's beautiful to watch, truly it is because she meets Allie in the middle now, sometimes pushes even further because she feels she can.
They get caught so many different places by so many different people over the years that follow that it becomes a standard joke in the prison to announce your presence loudly before entering any room.
And it's good. It's really good. Not easy, no, but good. Far better a life than anything Allie had ever envisioned for herself on the outside.
There's only one thing that catches them by the ankle though, the one thing they avoid talking about as much as they can because it's the thing they know they can do fuck all about.
Time.
Because Allie’s sentence is winding down, gradually and painfully - but still. It's moving .
And Bea’s is not.
Because Allie has ten years but Bea has life, and she has no fucking idea what they're going to do when the clock runs out.
She starts thinking about it immediately of course, directly after she's sentenced although she doesn't mention it to Bea straight away.
And her initial plan is simple.
Re-offend, beg, borrow or steal or whatever it takes to get her back inside Wentworth and next to Bea’s side.
But Bea sees straight through it.
She doesn't even fucking say anything, Bea just knows.
She pulls Allie aside one night and sits her down with a seriousness Allie hasn't seen on her face in weeks, ,and she explains very simply that she'll not have a bar of Allie reoffending for her.
Not an ounce. That if she does, if she dares then that's it. That's them, done.
It's harsh and it's the old Bea and it puts Allie on edge immediately (it turns her on too, but that's for a totally different reason) but she knows why she's doing it.
Because she loves Allie, truly loves her like no one else has in her entire life and she wants Allie to live a full life, with or without her, but she wants the whole thing for her. Not some fucked up half-life living in and out of prison for some bird.
And it's hard because honestly, Allie knows it's wrong but she doesn't care. She'd take the life behind bars if it meant she got to spend the time with Bea, but she knows the other woman will never ever go for it.
So she starts thinking of an alternative.
-
It comes to her in year two and she kicks herself for not fucking thinking of it sooner.
If she can't come back in then she'll find a way for Bea to come out .
-
Law is the only bloody answer.
She spends hours and hours agonising over what on earth she could do, and the only thing she comes back to, well the only legal thing anyway, is law.
She's seen other woman gain different qualifications inside and it's not that she doesn't think she can do it, because honestly she's a lot fucking smarter than people give her credit for, it's just that it's so boring .
But if it means she could maybe, possibly find a way to turn this one directional disaster of a situation into something useable then she'll do it.
For Bea, she'll do anything.
-
“I want to become a lawyer.”
“You want to become a what?”
“A lawyer. Well maybe not be a lawyer, but I want to study law. Criminal law. Criminal defence law, to be exact.”
“ Allie ,” Bea says slowly, like she can see through this in a heartbeat.
“What?” Allie deadpans. “You don't think I can do it?”
“No, I think you're the smartest fucking person in this shit-hole, but I just don't want you to get your hopes up. Or do this because you think it might help us….”
“I'm not, alright,” Allie says realistically. “I'm not. I promise. I just may as well do something remotely fucking useful with my time in here, and if that means helping out people who are in a shitty situation because they didn't have an alternative, then good.”
“It's really what you want to do?” Bea says suspiciously. “ Law ?”
“What,” Allie says, bending her body towards Bea’s where they're sitting across from each other on the couch. “Don't tell me you think the idea of me, nose buried in a text book, isn't hot?”
Bea scoffs, laughing as she pulls Allie in for a kiss.
“My girlfriend the fucking advocate, huh? Well whatever you want to do babe, whatever makes you happy. Just as long as you don't think it's going to change anything, ok? Because hope can be fucking poisonous in this place, and I won't have it ruin the time we have together.”
“I won't,” Allie says seriously, entwining her hand with Bea’s. “It won't, I promise.”
-
“Boomer for the last time, put that fucking book down and leave me alone.”
“You're no fun since you started all this swat shit, Novak. I want my friend back.”
Allie stops then, puts the book down and looks across the table.
“I'm sorry,” she says softening. “I'm sorry babe, I've just got a test at the end of the week. I have to be an asshole for two more days and then we can have fun for a week or so, ok?”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Allie says laughing.
She's been an unexpected friend, Boomer, but she's become one of Allie’s closest in here and she winces because she has been a bit neglectful lately.
“On Friday we'll bribe the screws to bring in a dirty movie and we can watch it while the prudes drink their tea, how's that?”
“You're on,” Boomer says, lighting up immediately. “My choice though, not some lesbian bullshit?”
“Whatever you want babe,” Allie says laughing. “Maybe make it a three way though yeah, so I've at least got something to look at?”
-
It's hard fucking work but she does it.
Six years later she gets a nice certificate in a frame to tell anyone who wants to look at it that she has fulfilled the necessary requirements to satisfy a Bachelor of Laws.
With first class Honours even.
Fuck you every high school teacher that told her she couldn't do anything , she thinks as the girls frame it and hang it on the wall of their unit.
It might seem silly but actually it's pretty big fucking news in a place where time stands still, and people from all different units come to congratulate her in the weeks that follow.
Most of it is out of curiosity and some people have the balls to ask her questions about their own cases, but she just laughs it all off.
Because she's done it.
Boomer charges admission to see her certificate, a packet of chocolate biscuits per group, and its fun, gives them something to break the monotony of the year with.
Bea is beyond proud.
She's a beaming mess the entire week the official qualification comes through, and it makes Allie want to cry because she never thought she'd have someone like this in her life to be so proud of one of her achievements.
Bea organises for Franky to have a locket engraved with the dates of her official graduation on the inside (even if she hadn't been able to actually attend) and she never takes it off after Bea slides it around her neck with soft, warm hands.
“My girl the lawyer, huh?” Bea says when they're naked, wrapped up in each other's arms hours later.
“I fucking told you,” Allie says, kissing the smile off her face.
“I never doubted you for a second, babe,” Bea says smiling when Allie pulls away.
“I know,” Allie says smiling sweetly, her face softening. “Thank you for being proud of me.”
“Of course I am,” Bea says, frowning slightly. “Did you not think I would be?”
“No,” Allie says quickly. “Of course I did. I'm just not used to this babe. This support. It's still a bit of a novelty, even after all this time with you.”
“Well get used to it,” Bea says pulling Allie to her. “Because it's not going anywhere.”
And Allie doesn't say anything because she doesn't want to ruin the moment, but she knows they both know that's not true, and the cloud over her head is harder to shake this time.
-
The last few years of her sentence pass in a flash and before she knows it she's being run through every rehabilitation programme Bridget can throw at her.
She's been a constant for them here, both her and Franky surprisingly enough, so it's with as little malice as possible that Allie gives her a firm fuck off when she shows her the list of job prospects.
“There's no way anywhere like that would have someone like me Bridge, you're fucking kidding us both.”
“Don't count them out too quickly,” Bridget says with a quiet smile. “Look at Franky.”
“True,” Alice says begrudgingly. “But still.”
“Look, I know it's not what you really want to do but you've got to be realistic here Allie, if you want someone to pick this case up you're going to have to put the yards in somewhere. And getting your foot in the door at a law firm might be the way to do that.”
She's sworn Bridget to secrecy regarding her plan, the true motive for all of this legal shit, and to her knowledge she's kept that confidence completely.
“I know,” Allie says sighing as she pulls the forms in front of her again. “I know, I just don't know how I'll actually go, you know? I know you're someone's bitch for years before you get anywhere and that's fine, I did that for Kaz for years but I just want to get moving. I want to get her out of here.”
“I know,” Bridget says nodding kindly. “We all do. But we've got to do what we've got to do to make that happen, yeah? So, which of these pretentious assholes shall I call first, hmmm?”
-
She cries all week leading up to her actual release.
She know Bea has been too although she's done it in the rare moments when Allie’s not been glued to her side, which have been few and far between.
Everyone's telling her it's good and she should be celebrating being rid of this shithole, but all she can think is that she's leaving part of her heart inside and the pain of that is unbearable .
Bea had tried to break it off a week ago, half-heartedly though because she'd been shaking the whole time and Allie knew she wanted this as much as Allie did which was not at fucking all but she had tried to do exactly what Allie would have done in her place.
Set her free.
She's not having a bar of it though, she's told Bea as much every day for the last two weeks and she thinks finally it's sunk in enough for her to be able to lay off a little.
For now.
Because Allie knows they'll do this all again, once she's had some time on the outside and Bea thinks she can tempt her away with the taste of what that life is like.
Life with someone free.
She's not interested though.
Not tempted for one fucking second because Bea Smith has saved her life in more ways than she'll ever know, and she's the one Allie wants to spend the rest of her life loving, even if they have to do so through prison bars.
-
They spend their last night wrapped so tightly in each other's arms they can barely breathe.
They don't talk much, because really there isn't a lot left to say that they haven't already, and it seems like a waste to use their mouths for anything other than long kisses and the occasional gasp for air.
They don't sleep, only dozing for an hour or so before dawn and they shower together one last time before Allie’s due to be collected by Franky and Bridget a little after nine.
“I've already got our first visit booked in,” Allie says as Bea walks her to the front office after breakfast. “And you can call me tonight, and I'll write every day and….”
“Allie,” Bea says with a sad smile on her face. “Hush, would you. I already know all this stuff. Just hold my hand and let me enjoy the last few minutes with you, would you?”
She bursts into tears then, and doesn't stop until Franky has her wrapped up on their couch in the thickest blanket she can find, and only then because she actually thinks she's run out of tears to cry.
-
She's worried she'll be an imposition for the first week until they can get her settled into another apartment, but Bridget and Franky dote on her.
They fuss like worried parents, and she doesn't even think it's entirely because Bea will have threatened Franky with bodily harm had they not promised to look after her when she finally left.
It takes her a full week for her to even begin to get used to the sensation of doing what she wants, when she wants.
Her body clock is stuck to the rigidly set times she lived and breathed by for ten years and sometimes she sits on the couch for an hour, bored out of her mind, before she remembers that she can actually leave .
Franky is surprisingly soft though, because she's been there too. Has gone through the withdrawals of constant company, and no privacy, and it makes no fucking sense but Allie misses it.
She misses the structure and routine, and suddenly the thought of having so much choice is overwhelming.
But Franky notices it, even when Bridget doesn't and will put her arm softly around Allie’s shoulder and whisper something only the two of them can hear and it's ok, for a moment longer.
She misses Bea with an agony she didn't even know her heart was capable of producing.
And it's lonely , that's the worse thing about all this.
Because prison was fucking terrible but she always had company there. Had someone warm in her bed and constantly by her side, and at her back for almost ten years, and now there's only cold air.
She plays with her necklace constantly, wishes she had a picture of Bea to have in the other side but it's not like you can just take a photo of someone in prison, so she'll have to settle for the token instead.
She doesn't take it off to sleep, only to shower and it helps, a little, but it's not enough .
-
She checks herself over in the mirror before she leaves to visit Bea for the first time.
She's wearing skinny jeans, god she's missed them, and a simple white shirt and she looks good, for her now almost forty young years.
Prison had been kind to her looks at least, and her figure, and she thinks she doesn't look a great deal older than she did when she first went in.
Bea is much the same, although there are a few more grey hairs in between dye-jobs now and she has a few more lines around her eyes, but when Allie sees her after a week apart for the first time in a decade she thinks she's still the most beautiful woman she's ever set eyes on.
Her face splits in a huge smile when she sees Allie waiting for her, and she knows they're not supposed to but she pulls Bea into her arms immediately.
“Hands off, Novak,” the guard says with a small smile, but without bite. “You know the rules.”
“Sorry,” she says with a wink, even though she's not. Not at all.
Because Bea’s hand is warm in her own across the table and her smile is real, not a dream, and Allie wants to cry in relief.
“Hi,” she says softly.
“Hi,” Bea says back.
It's silly but she actually feels a little shy, which makes no sense because the woman in front of her has literally seen the best and the worst of her, and she's still here.
“How have you been?” Bea asks, running her thumb over Allie’s knuckles.
“Good,” Allie says shrugging. “A little lonely, but ok. It's fucking weird babe, honestly.”
“I can't imagine,” Bea says with a laugh.
No, Allie thinks. But you might get to.
They talk about everything and nothing, but the hour is up much too quick and she's being pulled out of her seat before she knows it.
She gives the guard a little questioning look and he turns away, rolling his eyes as he does so, and Allie takes her opportunity, pulling Bea into her arms properly and kissing her soundly.
“I love you,” she says inbetween kisses. “I love you, ok?”
“I love you too,” Bea says heavily and it sounds different today, broken.
She feels the tingle of Bea’s touch on her lips for hours afterwards, and when she slides her hand between her thighs in the dark, she cries.
-
She stays with Franky and Bridget for much longer than she had initially anticipated, but they ask her to stay and they all get along like a house on fire, and she doesn't know if she's actually ready to be alone yet, so she does.
She moves into her new apartment six months after she is released.
It's about five minutes walk from Franky and Bridget's and it's half an hour’s walk into work. It's not huge, but it's nice and modern and fully furnished and she doesn't have to share, and for the first time in her life she has a space that's just hers.
And work is busy. Good, but busy.
It keeps her out of trouble, not that she's tempted or looking for it but still, old habits die hard.
The community law firm that had taken her on initially had lent her to a bigger, flasher firm when they'd needed another extra resource and she'd worked her ass off to prove herself to them in the hopes of securing a job offer, which she'd gotten a month ago.
It's admin work and coffee runs, and it's fucking boring for the most part but one of the older female partners has taken a liking to her and yesterday she'd taken Allie out to dinner to discuss the intricacies of Bea’s case.
She had waited nervously across the table, barely touching her food as the older woman had looked over everything Allie could pull together that might have been of relevance, and answered all her questions as thoroughly as she could before the woman had put the last casefile down.
“It's not going to be easy,” she had said warningly but not unkindly. “But I don't think it's impossible. It's a legacy case this, if we can overturn her sentence. And I'm willing to try if you are.”
-
They set to work collecting every piece of information they can about Brayden and his horrible chequered history as well as that of his family's, and they begin to reconstruct Bea’s defence.
It's hard, because she had escaped from prison but they try to put a robust spin on the reason for it, a mother desperate for answers about her otherwise perfect daughter’s death that in a moment of illogicality she decided to break out.
Her coming across Brayden Holt was an accident then, that she hadn't sought him out to murder him. Rather she had come across him while looking for answers, and the act of killing him had been self-defence. In response to his own panicked actions, rather than premeditated murder.
It's hard, and it's a fucking stretch because it's so different from the original story the jury and judge had heard but it's their only shot, and really what do they have to lose.
The hard part, Allie knows, will be convincing Bea to actually go along with this story.
Because they haven't actually told her any of this yet, wanted to construct a reasonably solid defence before they even raised the idea of hope but Allie’s partner thinks they might just have enough.
-
“I fucking knew it,” Bea says angrily. “I fucking knew it Allie, what did I tell you? All those years ago? That you weren't to come near this.”
“I know babe,” she says pleadingly. “I know but I never set our future by it, never. Because I knew how unlikely it was. I wanted to do this for me, and for other people I could help, and I wasn't even going to try but one of the partners thinks we've got a chance babe. A real, honest to god chance.”
Part of that is a lie but she won't tell Bea that, not now.
“But what if I don't?” Bea says, and Allie can hear her struggling to stay calm. “What if we do all this and I get my hopes up and it all falls to pieces? Then I have to come to terms with it all over again. And besides, Jackson saw me Allie. How the fuck do we get round that?”
“There are ways,” Allie says trying to placate Bea now. “We can change your plea, enter in a new one with different conditions, say the other was made under duress. We have options.”
It's too much, she can see that now so she starts to backtrack but it's too late because Bea’s already closed herself off.
“I just can't do this alright, Allie. I fucking can't,” Bea says as she pushes herself up and away from Allie to stand. “Thanks for coming. I'll see you round, yeah?”
“Bea, wait,” Allie says, standing immediately. “I'm sorry alright, just sit down and we can talk about something else.”
“I can't,” Bea says holding up her hands uselessly, halfway to the door. “I'm sorry babe, I can't ok. I'll talk to you later.”
-
She doesn't return Allie’s calls for a week, and by the end of it she's that fucking scared that she's ruined everything, every chance she had at a sliver of a life with Bea when she finally gets a call late on Friday night.
“I'm sorry,” Bea says moodily on the other end of the line. “I know I over-reacted I just….I fucking told you to leave it and you didn't. You ignored me. It pissed me off Allie. And it hurt.”
“I know babe,” Allie says, voice heavy with relief at finally having heard from her. “I know and I'm so fucking sorry, ok? But please know I would never have said anything if I didn't think we had a good chance. A solid fucking chance. I'd never get your hopes up on a whim.”
“I know that now, don't I?” Bea says grumpily. “Now I've calmed down a bit.”
There's a pause, a heavy pregnant beat before Bea speaks again.
“Do you really think we have a shot?”
“Yes,” Allie breathes slowly. “I do, babe. I really do.”
Another pause, longer this time and Allie can imagine Bea rubbing roughly at her face as she leans up against the wall.
“What do we do then?” Bea asks, so quietly Allie has to catch her breath in her throat to hear.
“How do we get me the fuck out of here?”
-
They set up meetings between Bea and Allie and Allie’s partner, begin to form her defence and construct their new version of events and hope to christ it's watertight enough to endure one good storm.
They've done their research on judges, and they've narrowed it down to one or two they think they have a much better shot with than the rest, and the firm sets what they can in action in the background to attempt to secure one of them for Bea’s preliminary hearing.
They do everything they can to prepare ahead of the hearing, and they're almost sure the legwork has worked with the judge assignment until a man in his late sixties walks out into the courtroom, and Allie’s heart just falls through the floor.
She looks to the partner and Bea looks to her and she knows they're fucked . Totally and utterly, before they've even begun.
He calls the session to order though, and hears Bea’s submission while the partner hastily tells Allie to get in touch with another senior to see if they can find anything about him while she approaches and re-tells Bea’s story.
It goes well, or as well as it possibly can and to his credit he does listen, intently if a little coldly, while the women in front of them lays Bea’s future on the line.
Allie holds her breath the whole time, wants to reach for Bea’s hand but Bea’s sitting on them, far too nervous to be able to stand any sort of physical contact, even from Allie.
The partner sits back down, satisfied with her explanation and the judges reception of it, and the fact that he hadn't washed it from his hands immediately while they break for recess.
He walks from the room as Allie’s phone chimes on the table in front of them and she will swear later that her heart actually stops in her chest when she reads the message.
Daughter murdered in drug-related domestic abuse case thirty years ago. You might have a chance after all. Good luck.
-
The rest of the hearing moves like a dream.
He enters the courtroom, thanks both sides for their arguments and overturns Bea’s initial first degree murder charge in one breath.
Manslaughter, by way of self-defence instead.
Allie swears under her breath while Bea lets out a laugh that's half sob, half cough as the partner crosses her arms in front of her quietly.
It still carries a sentence though, fifteen to twenty years instead of life but he agrees to lower that to twelve due to Bea’s previous good behaviour record and accepts the submission to count the decade already served towards the sentence.
“I don't condone violence,” he says warningly, looking directly to Bea. “And if I ever see you in front of me again I won't be as lenient. But sometimes one has to defend themselves. And you were lucky you were strong enough.”
Because some people aren't , rings heavily but silently through the courtroom before he closes the session with the thud of wood on wood, and Bea collapses on the desk in front of them.
“Two years, Ms Smith,” the older woman says turning to her. “Two years instead of life. Do you think you can manage that?”
“With my eyes closed,” Bea says when she looks up, her eyes glassy with tears. “I don't know how to thank you…..”
“Don't thank me,” she says, collecting her things to stand. “Thank your girlfriend. This has been her from the start.”
-
Bea is taken away immediately after, back to Wentworth, and it feels like a tragedy because they should be allowed to celebrate.
Because Bea has her life back and they have a future now, a real one instead of a half-life lived in chains but she still has two long years to live out on the inside, and this is a harsh reminder that they're not out of the woods.
Not yet.
She goes out for dinner with Bridget and Franky though, they drink three bottles of champagne and they drag Allie back to their place to stay in the spare room for the night because they don't want her to be alone.
She maps of potential routes for their next ten years on the ceiling above her while her fingers dance over the locket at her neck.
-
The first year moves quickly but the second year drags .
They have their weekly sessions together, although no amount of bribery actually secures them a conjugal visit much to Allie’s dismay, but it's enough.
Bea retrains, finishes a few business management papers to pass the time to give her a better platform to stand on when she does leave, and Allie’s been putting money aside desperately in the hopes that Bea can open her own salon when she's released, free from the influence or obligation of anyone ever again.
It's hard though, and the last three months are the longest because they're so close .
-
The attempt on Bea’s life at the close is not unexpected, but it it is violent.
She escapes with a broken rib and a split lip, and with her life at the tips of her fingers due to the grace of whatever deity is watching the kitchen on night-duty over the surveillance cameras.
The retribution comes quickly though, and it's harsher than the attack by a magnitude of about a thousand because Allie is happy and healthy for the first time in her life and Kaz will have no one and nothing stand in the way of that again.
The rest of Bea’s sentence passes peacefully.
-
They have a week to go and Allie's in a linen store picking out a new duvet cover like a Stepford-wife when she walks past a jewellery store on the way home, and something in the window catches her eye.
It's simple, a rubover solitaire diamond in a yellow gold band and she shouldn't, she really shouldn't because it's half of the money she's saved. Bea will kill her when she finds out but there's still more than enough to establish a little one or two man salon in the backyard of one of the ladies she works with, so she goes in and buys it on the spot.
Franky calls her a fucking sap when she turns up at their place for dinner that night, but Bridget actually cries and Allie does too then because they're so goddamn close now she can taste it.
-
Bea looks beautiful.
The minute she steps out beyond the walls of the prison half a decade falls from her shoulders, and she picks Allie up off her feet when she reaches her across the parking lot.
“I fucking love you,” Bea says, her voice rough with emotion.
And Allie just kisses her, long and deep and without a trace of every bit of loneliness and emptiness of the last twenty four months, because they're together.
Finally .
-
They arrive home and Bea has her up against the front door before she can so much as throw her keys on the table.
“God, I've missed you,” Allie pants as she tears Bea’s shirt open before dragging it roughly down her arms. “Do you have any fucking idea how much?”
“I think I have some idea,” Bea says smirking as she slides her hand down the front of Allie’s jeans. “God, Allie.”
“Two years, Bea. Two fucking years. After having you at least twice a week for ten years. I feel like a fucking nun.”
“Not for long,” Bea says, pulling Allie’s top off between kisses too.
“Promise?” Allie says palming Bea’s breast roughly with the hand that's not wound in her hair.
She doesn't talk, just scoops her arms under Allie’s thighs, wraps them around her waist before she carries them in the direction Allie waves them towards with a rough hand gesture.
She drops Allie onto the mattress softly but her hips are firm and heavy when she moves between her legs, bare now with her pants discarded somewhere behind them.
Bea’s naked now too but for her underwear, and Allie can't stop sighing of the feeling of Bea’s skin warm under her hands.
“God, I'd almost forgotten what it felt like to touch you,” Allie moans as she runs her palms up and over the sweep of Bea’s shoulders, pulling her closer.
“I know,” Bea says leaning down to kiss the swell of Allie’s breast over her bra. “Never again, alright? I never want to be apart from you again.”
“Never,” Allie says surging up to kiss Bea again. “Never, never, never.”
“I love you,” Bea says to the skin of Allie’s throat, shuffling slightly so she can move up and down her body, pulling her underwear down Allie’s legs.
“I love you.”
Kiss.
“I love you.”
Kiss.
“I love you.”
She loves Bea like this, soft and warm but possessive and she wants to cry because god she's missed this, and it's hers now.
Forever.
Bea slides Allie’s bra off on her way up her body and then she's fully bare but for the goosebumps that litter her body.
“Still like what you see?” Allie says with a smirk. “Everything you remember?”
“Better than,” Bea says hungrily. “And I love .”
They don't talk anymore then, because Bea touches her after two long years apart and Allie almost comes apart on the spot but she bites it back, holds it desperately inside herself because she wants to draw this out.
Bea pulls moans from her lips like smoke from a fire and when she slides inside, effortlessly, because Allie is so ready she feels complete .
She moves away after a while, moves down Allie’s body to slide between her legs and brings Allie to the edge with her mouth and her fingers before Allie tugs her up her body.
“I want to see you,” she pants as Bea’s hand slides against warm wet heat again. “I want to see you when I come.”
Bea just smiles wickedly and she pushes in, curls her fingers as her thumb swipes over Allie’s clit and then Allie’s gone.
She doesn't stop though, because even after such a long time apart she still knows Allie’s body better than she knows her own, so she keeps pushing, draws her fingers in and out slower and she pulls another orgasm from Allie with a shudder that makes her bones ache.
Allie arches off the bed like a bow with the second, her body pushing up into Bea’s with an elegance she didn't know she was capable of before the waves crest, and slow .
“Holy shit ,” she pants as Bea drops down beside her.
“Good?”
“Terrible,” Allie says with a smile, leaning up on an elbow once her breath begins to slow. “Fucking terrible babe, you're getting rusty.”
“Maybe you'll have to give me a crash course then, huh?” Bea says with a laugh, running her hands over Allie’s hips as she slides between Bea’s legs.
“Maybe I will,” Allie says with a smile, leaning down to kiss Bea so deeply they're both breathless when they break apart.
“How's that? A good start?”
“Awful,” Bea says smiling. “Kiss me again.”
So she does.
-
The memory of Bea’s body comes back to her so effortlessly it's like a dream.
She slides the last scraps of clothing from her body with a sigh that echoes around her room, their room, and Bea moves up into her hands like they were made to hold her and her alone.
She takes her time, kisses her way up and down Bea’s body like they have all the time in the world, because they do now, and Bea is breathless and flushed beyond anything Allie can ever remember when she finally moves inside her.
She pulls at Allie’s fingers deliciously and Allie actually has to bite her lip to stifle a moan because it feels so fucking good.
She comes silently, her legs wrapped around Allie’s waist as Allie’s fingers move quick and sure and then again, with her calves slung over Allie’s shoulders and her hands in Allie’s hair.
It's hours and hours before they break, and only then because sleep is starting to creep in at the edges when they pause to catch their breath and they fall asleep, naked and indiscernible from each other.
-
Bea is the first to wake, she always is, so when Allie’s eyes slowly flutter open some time in the late morning she finds Bea watching her with a lopsided smile.
“Hi,” Bea says low, her voice rough from sleep and a little hoarse from moaning.
“Hi yourself,” Allie says stretching out long beside her. “This doesn't feel real.”
“Tell me about it,” Bea says laughing softly. “I can't believe I'm actually here with you.”
“Me either,” Allie says, rolling in to Bea’s side. “Don't leave ok? Ever?”
“Never, you sap,” Bea says, with a smile as she presses a kiss to the top of Allie’s head.
“Oh,” Allie says smiling. “Speaking of forever….”
She knows she should probably do this in a much more romantic setting, on top of a cliff at sunset or some rubbish like that but really, she knows that Bea would hate the attention and there's something kind of perfect in the simplicity of this.
Just the two of them, like it always has been.
Allie leans over to her bedside table, opens the top draw and pulls out the little black ring box.
She rolls over, half leaning on Bea’s chest as she deposits the box lightly onto the flat of her stomach.
“What's this?” Bea asks with a frown, the arm not wrapped around Allie’s shoulders reaching for the ring box.
“Life. With me, I mean. If you want it?” Allie says, a nervous little smile on her face. “I don't want to spend a day without you Bea. I love you.”
“Is this….”
“A proposal?” Allie says shyly. “Yeah, if you want it to be. I know it's not flash and I should be on one knee or something but….”
Bea cuts her off with a kiss, and then another and another.
“Yes,” Bea says, tears in her eyes. “You idiot, yes. Of course yes. I don't need a spectacle. You know that's not me. I just need you.”
Bea rolls Allie onto her back, slides between her thighs and kisses her soundly, again and again.
“Do you even want to know what the ring looks like?” Allie asks between kisses.
“Later,” Bea says with a smirk. “I think you'll find I'm about to be otherwise occupied.”
“Jesus,” Allie says arching up into Bea's touch again. “If I knew you'd react like this I would have proposed years ago.”
“I knew you only loved me for my hands,” Bea says smiling.
“Oh, your mouth too,” Allie says with a smirk that Bea kisses off neatly the next second. “Don't forget that.”
They break apart for a second, both catching their breath as everything slows around them.
Bea’s eyes are light above her, lighter than they've been in years and she looks beautiful in the soft shadows of the late morning.
Allie looks up at Bea, holding her hair away from her eyes as she smiles and breathes in the peace of the moment.
Bea breaks the silence first, her voice soft and steady.
“I love you.”
“I love you too,” Allie returns equally softly. “Doesn't this feel like a dream?”
“Yes,” Bea says slowly. “And no. Because I can feel you. Now hush, and let me kiss you. In case we do wake up.”
“Forever?” Allie asks with a smile that holds the promise of their future in its hands.
“Forever. And even after then.”
-
The ring fits perfectly, and Bea comes home a month after she opens her little salon with a beautifully simple claw-set white gold solitaire for Allie.
It takes a while, years really for them to settle completely back into life outside of someone else's control but slowly they heal .
Some days are hard, loud after years of rigidity and structure but they come home and wrap themselves in each other's arms and settle into the quiet.
Bea’s salon is small but word gets out to her old clients, the ones that are still around and watched her shrink for years and they come loyally back, prison or no, beaming when they see the change in the woman before them.
Allie settles into the law firm, mentored by the woman that had saved both their lives she flourishes .
They visit Debbie's grave once a month and leave flowers, and it never gets easier or less heartbreaking but she thinks peace starts comes to Bea, eventually.
Franky and Bridget are a constant, a solid structure in a world that has changed so much without them and they are both thankful for them every day.
Allie waits for the novelty to wear off, for the shine to fade from between their joint hands but it never does.
They marry in a simply ceremony in front of a tiny group of loved ones and Allie breathes deep and slow and long because finally , she has found her place in the world.
End
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