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Under The Mistletoe

Summary:

Donut has hung mistletoe all over both bases.

Notes:

Based off a prompt from rvbpromts on tumblr
For the sake of including them lets just pretend that Wash, Tex and Sis were all at the same base at the same time.

Work Text:

Hanging up the last piece of mistletoe Donut stepped off the ladder.

“There, that should get everybody in the spirit.”

Doc looked at the lightish red soldier, ‘are you sure this is a good idea? I mean it’s basically forcing people to kiss.”

“Doc, Doc, Doc,’ the blond man shook his head, ‘it’s Christmas, and besides, it’s not like the guys around here will really complain about getting a little action.”

The medic ran a hand through his hair, “Well, I guess that’s ok. And kissing is supposed to have health benefits.”

“Exactly!” Donut wrapped an arm around him, pulling him under the plant as he did so. “Hey! Looks like we’re the first ones to get caught under it!”
Doc blushed, “You did that on purpose!”

“Yep!” replied Donut before placing his lips over the other mans.

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Ten minutes later Grif walked into his and Simmons shared room. After a full days patrol, which mostly consisted of sitting in the warthog talking and arguing with Simmons, he was finally able to take off his armour, beginning with his helmet. As he threw his chest plate to the ground Simmons walked through the door.

Taking off his own helmet the maroon clad man glared at his team mate “Jesus Grif I told you yesterday that you shouldn’t throw your armour around like that.”

Grif rolled his eyes, as he did he noticed the bundle of green above their door. He stood up and walked over, pushing himself into the small frame along with Simmons.

“What the fuck are you doing? I’m not trying to start a fight with…’ He was cut short when Grif roughly pushed him against the door frame, smacking their mouths together. Simmons face instantly turned bright red. He made a half-hearted attempt at pushing him away but instead found his hands weaving around the back of Grif’s neck. The larger man began moving his hands down the other soldiers body, before pushing himself away, breaking the kiss.

Grif turned on his heel and began walking back to his bed, sitting down to continue removing his armour. Simmons face was still red hot as he stood frozen in place.

Eventually he managed to regain control over his mouth, ‘Wha… What the fuck man?”

A low chuckle came from the other side of the room, “Look up Dick.”

Finally noticing the green sprig he sighed, slightly disappointed, “…So that’s the reason then.”

Still focused on unclipping his boots Grif didn’t even look up, ‘Well that’s not the only reason, it just gave me an excuse.” If he had been paying attention Grif would have seen Simmons mouth open and close a few times, “Now if you can help me get this stupid boot off we can pick up from where we left off.”

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It had taken Tucker all of 3 minutes to find the mistletoe hanging in blue base’s kitchen, and another minute to pull it down and hang it above his crotch. He walked off towards the barracks, knocking gently on Sisters door, it was only midday so she was most likely still asleep.

“What?” came the groggy voice from behind the door.

Tucker paused for a moment, debating how high the risk of getting his ass kicked was before deciding that the blowjob he might get outweighed the risk. “Hey Sis, can I come in?”

“Tucker? Sure, I’m not putting pants on though.”

He pushed the door open, mentally high fiving himself, “Awesome, that’ll save us some time.”

The brunette lay still tangled in her sheets, she rolled over to look at the man who woke her. Looking him up and down she stopped at the bunch of leaves stuck into his pants. “What’s that?”

Tucker looked down, “Mistletoe! You know now you gotta kiss me,” A cheeky grin spread across his face as he added, ‘well actually you’re gonna have to kiss what’s under it.”

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Washington stormed down the hallway towards Sisters room, ‘I swear I’ve never met anyone else who can sleep for 18 hours a day!’ he paused, ‘Well except maybe for her brother.’ He reached out to grab the door knob before it was pulled away from him, a half dressed Tucker emerging from within.

“Uhhh… hey there Wash.’ He attempted to continue putting his pants on with one hand, “Sis will be out in a minute.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be training?’ he said through gritted teeth, ‘and what exactly is this doing here?’ he asked pulling the bunch of leaves from the man’s hair, holding it in front of his face.

Before he could react Tucker leant forward and quickly kissed him. “Merry Christmas Wash.” He called before running off.

“TUCKER!” Wash stood outside the door, still holding the offending plant above his head.

“Jesus keep it down, some of us have a hangover.” Sis mumbled opening her door.

She locked eyes with Wash, then looked up to his hand, “You too huh?” reaching up she grabbed Wash behind his neck and pulled him down into a kiss before walking off in the same direction as Tucker.

Wash remained in the hallway for several minutes, still not entirely sure what had just happened.

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Tucker pushed past Church as he walked into the rec room, “Hey man watch where you’re going.” Church turned to look at him, not watching where he was going, meaning that he walked straight into Caboose.

“Hello Church”

“Huh? Oh yeah hey Cab…” he paused as he felt the other man’s lips on his cheek.

Taking a deep breath Church attempted to continue in a calm voice, “Caboose what do you think you’re doing?”

Caboose smiled, “Sargent Puff Pastry said that when you stood under this you had to kiss people. So I have been waiting here for a long time, nobody would stand here with me. But you did and so I had to kiss you.”

“Sargent puff… you mean Donut? You let Donut into our base? How many times have I told you not to let the Reds in here?”

Caboose looked at Church confused, “But if I did not let Private Cinnamon Bun in then he could not make our base ready for Christmas.”

“What do you mean ‘make our base ready for Christmas?’” He raised an eyebrow.

Caboose pointed up, “Admiral Pancakes and Doc put missile toes on the roof everywhere.”

“Mistletoe?” Church looked around, spying several sprigs in doorways and hanging from the roof, “Well just try and avoid getting caught with Tucker or Sister.”

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Tex walked into the rec room just as Caboose kissed Church on the cheek. Standing in the doorway she watched as they talked, something about mistletoe and Donut. She chuckled to herself at the fact that Churches cheeks were still red. Deciding that it wasn’t fair that Caboose was the only one to get a kiss she snuck up behind Church. Caboose watched her quizzically, placing a finger to her lips she signalled him to keep quiet, he obliged.

‘… I mean if Tucker or Sis kiss you I don’t know what kind of things you might catch.” Church noticed Caboose looking past him, “What are…” Strong hands landed on his shoulders, spinning him around.

Tex smiled, it wasn’t something that she did often and it made Church worried.

“Merry Christmas Church.” She whispered in his ear before pulling him in for a kiss.

Caboose giggled as Church continued to turn red. Tex pulled away from the kiss, the smirk still on her face. “Now Caboose, remember what we talked about early?”

Caboose nodded, positioning himself on the other side of Church.

Church looked back and forth between the two, before staring at Tex. “What did you tell him?”

“Just this.” She replied before both of them kissed Church on each cheek.

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Wash walked into the rec room to find Tex laughing at a very red Church.

“Agent Washingtub!” Caboose called as he came barrelling towards him.

“Huh, oh hey Caboose,’ He pointed towards Church and Tex ‘Should I ask?”
“Oh that is just because Church does not like kisses very much.”

“So there’s more of this around then?” he asked holding out the tattered mistletoe he’d taken from Tucker.

“Oh yes Commander Danish and Doc made sure there was lots.”

“Donut, I should have known.”

“Yes, he made especially sure that it was near every door, see.” He pointed above Wash.

Church stopped glaring at Tex and turned to face them, “Hey Caboose, if you and Wash are under that why haven’t you kissed him yet?”

Caboose smacked his forehead, “Oh thankyou Church. I almost forgot.”

Wash sighed as he was once again kissed against his will, thankful that Caboose chose to kiss his cheek rather than his mouth.

“I think I need to have a little talk with Private Donut and Doc about what is considered appropriate behaviour.” Wash stated as he rubbed his cheek where he had been kissed.

“You can tell him when we go to visit Red base tonight.” Caboose thought for a moment, “Oh no, I forgot to tell you, we are going to be late and then the Sargent man will be angry.”

“I think Sarge is going to be just as mad if we show up.” Muttered Church.

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“Donut! For the last time I am not letting Blues into this base. Who knows what kind of evil schemes they’ve got planned.” Sarge repeated for the umpteenth time that day.

“Come on Sarge its Christmas. Where’s your holiday spirit?” The younger man pouted.

“As far away from those blues as possible!” he grunted, walking away from Donut.

Donut tapped his chin, trying to come up with an argument. “Well you know Sarge, maybe if we invite the Blues over they might let their guard down and give us some info to use against them.”

Sarge stopped and turned around, “Well, those Blues are pretty dumb. They probably would give out valuable information. Ok you can tell them to come, but keep alert you can never let your guard down around a Blue.”

“Thanks Sarge,’ Donut bounded up to him and wrapped him in a hug before kissing him several times.

“What in the sam hell do you think you’re doing son?”

Donut simply replied by pointing to the small bundle of mistletoe above them.

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Several minutes later Doc answered the knock on the ‘door’ to Red base.

Wash stood in front of the other Blues, “Doc, I would scold you but I have a feeling that you weren’t the ring leader in this.”

Tucker shook his head, “What he means Doc is, Merry Christmas! Now where’s the food?”

“Merry Christmas, everyone’s in the kitchen and I’m sorry for any trouble that I caused you Wash. I told Donut that it wasn’t a good idea.”

“Well like I said, I don’t really blame you.” Wash sighed, “I just hope to avoid it for the rest of the day.”

“About that…” Doc pointed above the door that they had both just walked through to enter the kitchen.

“Come on Wash! Pucker up.” Grif called from the table.

“Wash you don’t have to… I mean it’s not like it’s... I mean you still have a say in the matter.’ Doc stammered.

Figuring it would be best just to get it over with Wash placed a hand on each side of Docs face, closed his eyes and kissed him. Wolf whistles and cat calls erupted from the table courtesy of Grif, Sis and Tucker.

Wash pilled away and took a seat between Caboose and Tucker, “Well before we start eating is there anybody else that wants to kiss me today? Cause you might as well.” He snapped.

Donut placed between him and Tucker, putting the plate of mashed potato substitute down, “Well since you asked.” He leant over and kissed his frown.

Caboose leant back in his chair, “Mister Cupcake, I thought you said there needed to be the missing toe.”

“Well I have some of that right here Caboose, see.” He held the bundle of green above the Blues head. “Oh my look who’s left under it now.” He leant down to Caboose and quickly pecked him.

“Fraternizing with the enemy, why that’s treason. The only thing worse than kissing a Blue is kissing Grif.” Sarge looked ready to throw the table.

“Don’t worry sir, I think Simmons has that covered.” Donut mumbled taking his seat.

“What was that solider?”

Grif kicked Donut under the table, “Uhh I think he said let’s eat before the Blues try anything funny.”

Sarge stared down the table, “Good thinking can't let them get a chance to poison it.”

"Why the fuck would we poison food we're gonna eat?" Church asked raising an eyebrow.

“Merry Christmas every one!” Caboose called.

“Feliz Navidad.” Called the robotic voice from the Red side of the table.

Sarge turned to the robot, “Not now Lopez, can’t you see we’re having Christmas?”

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