Chapter Text
Batman, whose hands were bound behind his back with handcuffs, struggled as consciousness drew. His eyes fluttered opened, and for a moment lights flickered around him. His focus adjusted.
"Well gooood morning, ya big sleepyhead!" A familiar over-enthusiastic voice greeted him. It was the Joker; and his right hand was stretched up, still grasping a long dangling cord that dropped down from a single bright light bulb. His deep black eyes crinkled in delight as the corners of his mouth turned up happily. He was wearing some sort of nurse's uniform. Not the regular scrubs and gloves but an actual nurse's dress. Its collar was folded neatly and a sticker- the words DENT in bold text- placed carelessly across the breast pocket.
"Ya like it?" The Joker's voice was loud as it echoed throughout the room. "I wore it for you," he sang and elicited a small chuckle. Batman didn't realize that the Joker had been straddling him until he attempted to move and the Joker pushed him back towards the ground. The room was dark. He couldn’t make out anything except the man on him and that already was too much to handle.
"Joker," he snarled, "If you think you can get away with this-"
"Now now, Batty," the Clown scolded in a sort of parodied way of hospitalized care, "I don't think you'd want to get up while you're still in this," he paused to wave his right hand in the air, "foggy sort of high.”
"What did you do to me?" Batman growled, his voice was straining terribly. The Joker reached down to pat the caped crusader's jaw. Batman twisted away from his latex-clad hands. "Gave you a little taste of your, ah, own medicine... Well, not your own medicine but- whatever.” Batman's legs were numb, and from what he could see his ankles were cuffed as well. His eyes moved up back to the clown, expecting an answer.
"What? Alright alright," the man said, arms up like a gun was pointed at him. "But you goootta guess, okay?" Batman's mouth twisted in anger. He watched the Joker and thought about head-butting him and breaking his goddamn arms. "Sedatives," the Joker finally admitted, smiling. "Not that- that bullshit over-the-counter stuff-- like I said, a little something especially for you!" He waved sarcastic jazz-hands in the air. "Isn't it fun? The gift of surprises? Y'know, that’s how I got these scars! One dreadful night on uh, Christmas maybe, there was this gorgeously wrapped box--"
"What's in the medicine," Batman demanded more than asked. He wanted the Joker to just shut up. To just stop talking and let him go. But he had to play his game. He had to go by his One Rule and he forced himself to calm down.
"Whaaat a party pooper," the criminal wet his scarred mouth. "Now let's see..." He raised a finger to tap at his chin comically. "Narcotics! Baclofen... maaaybe Ambiens," he recalled fondly, eyes searching around the room. "You know, whatever I could get my hands on. Not enough to be lethal buuut enough to punch your lights out. Opioids," he finished in a sly hiss, raising his eyebrows in a matter-of-factly way. "And I think it'll cut our play-time short, too!" The clown stated, looking down at an imaginary watch.
Shit. He should have known the Joker would try to pass this again. How could he have let his guard down? He tried to remember how he was defeated but nothing brought up a memory. He just woke up to the sight of the Joker. He was too medicated to try and attack the man. But from what he recalled the Joker didn't have a weapon. And he had his armor.
"Let me out of here, Joker."
"Funny. You’re fu-nny. But I gotta say, Bats, I kinda like that look on you," the madman said as he raised his eyebrows and brought his hands around himself, imitating a schoolgirl shudder. "Makes me feel all tingly inside!"
"I'll snap your damn neck, you bastard."
"Oh and you're just gonna… disregard your One Rule? Hm? Oh- I never knew I could sink you down to this level!" The Joker scoffed. "Must be the dress… Everybody just loves the dress!"
Batman shifted underneath him angrily.
"You're a... a disgusting, filthy freak who belongs back in that asylum, and I don't care if it'll take every broken bone in your body to get you there."
"Batty, Batty, Ba-tty!" The Joker laughed, shaking his head. “You think you can move? You think you can walk around and beat me a couple o’ times while you’re drugged? I mean I wouldn’t be surprised but-“
Then the Joker stopped. There was a long dead silence and Batman shifted in place.
"You can barely lift me off you! You can't possibly think you can-"
But Batman kept looking at him. The Joker sighed mockingly and rose up, his hand on Batman's Kevlar-clad torso for balance. His feet were planted on the ground, hands balled into fists.
"Get up."
The hero furrowed his eyebrows before reaching towards his ankles and rising to the floor. He swayed, realizing how strong the Joker's medicine was, but his determination kept him going. The Joker removed the other man's handcuffs. His temples throbbed but he was free to move his wrists and ankles. The Joker walked away from him and then turned on his heel. "I'm simply appalling you, Batty. Fight me. I took off your handcuffs. Try to walk over here, come on.” Joker encouraged the dizzy bat and licked his lips. Batman inhaled and took a cautious step forward, but his body folded under him like a house of cards. The Joker laughed and howled. It was a deep and dark and it sunk into Batman's stomach. The Joker walked over and continued his disgusting menacing laughs. He circled him like a fucking shark.
"Looks like I won this round," he sang.
The clown finally kicked him back to the ground. Batman's head bounced. For a moment he thought he saw stars. His cowl should have protected the blow, he didn't… understand..? Darkness shrouded the corners of his eyes and the man in front of him wiggled a small goodbye from his long fingers.
"Nighty-night, Batsy. When you wake up I guarantee stars!"