Work Text:
They watched one another. It was an odd habit both of them had fallen into as months turned into years.
Taeyong would watch as Sicheng’s feet slide across the floor. He would watch as he’d bend and snap into positions. He would watch the serenity on Sicheng’s face. Taeyong would want to go to whatever world Sicheng had teleported to as he moved. He wanted a taste of that pure bliss that gracefully painted across his face. He wanted to pull back and fall into such a place that the world wasn’t as cold and he could breath in and out with Sicheng. He could feel them moving together and not feel the sting of the world sinking it’s teeth into his shoulders. Taeyong was so very tired, but the closest he would ever need to get to sleep would be watching Sicheng as he bent; as he let out little blissful sighs; as he pulled his hair in frustration. The only thing he would need to bring him peace would be to watch Sicheng dance not knowing Taeyong’s eyes were on him the whole time.
Sicheng felt much more guilty when he watched. It started out innocently. He didn’t mean to stand in the door. He didn’t mean to greedily take every word from the air as Taeyong sobbed them out. He didn’t mean to be so cruel in his watching. He just loved the beauty in Taeyong’s pain. Taeyong had always been beautiful. He was gifted with the face of an angel and the voice of human innocence. But to Sicheng, Taeyong was his most beautiful when he was at his most ugly. It was counterintuitive but Sicheng could only describe it as that. He couldn’t find a face that the elder had made that was more beautiful than when tears were pouring from his eyes and words were tumbling out in stutters and sobs. It was the vulnerability of him. It was the idea that something he saw as so strong and handsome could be weak. The look of sadness and and years of guilt for the things he had done without shame created a whole new Taeyong.
Sicheng had already loved the beauty of the Taeyong he had known for years, but this new, weak Taeyong was something special to Sicheng. The good part of Sicheng, the part he had known all his life up till he saw Taeyong’s heavy tears staining his cheeks, had wanted to help his leader. The good Sicheng was tempted to step into the bedroom and slowly coax the older back into sanity. But in seeing Taeyong’s face scrunched up, a new unknown Sicheng blossomed. Watching Taeyong bury his head in the pillow only to pull back because the fabric hurt his puffy eyes, Sicheng was instantly pulled to watch more. The longer he stood staring, the more he wanted to see the man crying. It was like watching something so horrible yet rare to this world that you can’t stop it because you’re in so much shock. Whatever left of him that was actually a good person wanted to beat this new side. This was his leader, a man he had admired and been taught by for ages and he was just going to disrespect him like this? This was his lover, someone who he should be sympathetic to and help through tough nights no matter what. Even with Sicheng’s guilt at what his eyes had seen and craved, he came back. If he was awake in the early hours and managed to hear the poor attempts at muffling quiet screams for help, then he would be there instantly. He’d forgo whatever his plans were and lay on the floor with his head in the crack of the door.
Taeyong watched Sicheng when he was ethereal and at peace. Sicheng watched Taeyong when he was devastated and tearing himself apart.
Much of Sicheng and Taeyong’s relationship revolved around staring and longing. There were very rare times when the two didn’t have their eyes meet. Taeyong always looked to the younger with a kind of maternal happiness. Taeyong had proven that he loved him in a way more intimate than an adoptive son he had raised but his smiles remained the same. Taeyong himself was only given flustered or straight-faced stares from Sicheng. He was still like a child in many ways. Taeyong always had a gentle soul in him, but Sicheng acted as though Taeyong was the most successful flirt and charm around. He truly was a child no matter how much he had denied it. He flustered so easily and spoke so shyly on his feelings. This made it even worse for him considering he truly wasn’t good at hiding his feelings. He was almost nothing like Taeyong.When he was upset and disappointed in himself, he would mope or grab at his hair as he passionately scolded his own abilities under his breath. Taeyong had found both endearing.
Watching Sicheng practice gave him enough visual of the hair pulling, and living with him had shown quite the amount of pouting and moping. The pouting was Taeyong’s favorite part. Taeyong lived for the moments when he would lean down and capture Sicheng’s lips only for them to get commanded to find a room. He lived for these moments because of Sicheng. His skin would grow hot and he’d move his gaze down. Taeyong would always pinch the cheeks that were pulled taut in order for Sicheng to make his cute pouting lips. There were times Taeyong wouldn’t help himself and simply dived in with passion at the sight of that pout. Taeyong certainly wasn’t a forward person, but seeing such a cute display wrecked his only line of defence. Sicheng would complain and whine afterwards at being assaulted in front of all the other members, but really he was the only one ever bothered. If Taeyong’s hands didn’t wander, than there was no issue. Even Sicheng in truth didn’t have a problem with it. He always bended into Taeyong’s breath and touch even though he would never intend on getting that intimate with Sicheng without a proper conversation on it. The closest Taeyong had ever reached to that level of intimacy with Sicheng was when he had found a sweaty flushed Sicheng in the practice room and proceded to kiss him passionately. Sicheng hadn’t reacted negatively when Taeyong’s hands, unbeknownst to Taeyong himself, slipped to grip at Sicheng’s ass.
Taeyong was well aware of the lack of sexual activites in his own relationship. He and Sicheng had both settled some time ago that they were both okay with that. That didn’t stop the rest of the members from pointing it out however. Most of them enjoyed placing bets how long it would take for the couple to reach each milestone. There was probably hundreds or thousands of won placed on just how long it would take till the two would finally sleep together. Even within the group there were different types of supports of the two.
Yuta had been much more of a gentle sweet supporter. He was ready for anything about them having dates or getting married, but he always seemed too flustered or disgusted to participate in discussions about kinks or sex. Johnny and Mark seemed to be the very opposite. Once they had gotten used to the idea of their leader with what they all viewed as the group’s baby, they immediately moved their attention to the fact that they barely even touched one another for a couple that had been together so long. Mark and Donghyuk were actual often caught trying to embarrass Sicheng with whatever dirty things they could suggest. Sicheng would usually cover his ears as he viciously shook his head. The poor boy could be so innocent at times. So sweet and childlike that sometimes Taeyong even felt like he should expose him to the things Mark and Donghyuk were suggesting.
Sicheng was awake again. It was five am. The sun just now rising and should have been shining through the windows were it not for the rain. His feet scraped across the floor when he walked but the rain covered it. It was falling loudly outside. There was no thunder, only a dark blanket covering the sky. There was a night light in the hallway. It was always on but what was never on was the kitchen light. Sicheng stopped walking and stared for a moment. He hadn't noticed any of the other doors open and his own roommate had still been sleeping when he snuck out. He stepped closer and peeped past the corner into the small kitchen-dining room combination.
There he was again. That beautiful Taeyong. Sicheng somehow lost all the moisture that was in his mouth within a second. His grip tightened around the corner wall. Taeyong wasn't crying this time, but it was clear he had. His eyes were dry but red and bloodshot. His arms were scratched up till they were a bright pink. It was so wrong but Sicheng’s mind wondered at the idea of a different cause for all his scratches and his tousled hair. He grimaced at his own thinking. He was seeing the effects of Taeyong’s self destructive tendencies and he was thinking inappropriately. He really didn't deserve to even come near Taeyong.
“Sicheng?”
They both froze. They stared at one another once again but there was no warmth this time. There was no flush to Sicheng’s cheeks and there was no smile to lighten Taeyong’s features. Sicheng stepped out from the corner despite the shaking in his knees. He glared down. He was actually shaking. He tried to will the tremors to stop, but he shook nonetheless. He really was a little kid.
Taeyong didn't push back his hair. He nearly forgot he had physical form. He felt like he was simply a ball of misery and hot shame in that chair. Sicheng wasn't looking at him. That made him feel even more ashamed. To see their “strong”, “brave” leader crying at the kitchen table surrounded by rejected pages must have been hard to look at. It had to be hard to look at Taeyong. What made it worse is he was spotted by the one person he tried his hardest to be happy around. If it was one of the other members it wouldn't have been half as hard. His tears would have been accepted and the member would calmly sit beside him and listen. Sicheng… Sicheng hadn't seen him cry like this. He didn't know how to react to such a pathetic display. So he just stood there. He couldn't even look at Taeyong.
Taeyong felt like a disgrace unworthy of Sicheng’s eyes.
Sicheng brought his head up. Taeyong's eyes were wide and the resemblance to someone who had been beaten and torn of any pride begging on their knees was too much. His eyes were the final knife in Sicheng's heart. Sicheng bit down on his tongue to stop himself from saying whatever first came to his mind. His legs moved him forward but he wasn't sure why. Taeyong seemed legitimately surprised that Sicheng wanted to come anywhere near him. Sicheng gulped. He decided that it was best to just follow his body’s instincts. Those seemed more trustworthy at this point than his mind did. He watched as his hands naturally reached up and held Taeyong's cheeks. His thumbs ran over the smooth skin. He indulged himself for a brief moment and felt over the well bitten lips and puffy, red eyes. Taeyong brought the corner of his lips up. It wasn't a smile but it was the closest he could bring himself to. Sicheng didn't return the gesture. Instead, his hands moved about again. One ran through the messy pink nest that rested atop Taeyong's head. The normally perfect hair was disheveled by Taeyong running his hands through it one too many times. Sicheng's other hand went behind Taeyong's neck. He stepped closer, and Taeyong naturally rested his head on the younger’s chest.
It was sweet. They sat in silence with one another. Sicheng held Taeyong close to him and it was clear words weren't needed. All sicheng ever needed to do was hold Taeyong and never let go. Sicheng slowly sat down on Taeyong's lap, ready to move if that was too much. Taeyong didn't say anything however, he only brought Sicheng closer and hugged him tightly. Sicheng wasn't the best at dealing with others feelings, so he decided to copy his mother. He ran his fingers through Taeyong's hair delicately. When Taeyong smiled and leaned his hand into the touches, Sicheng finally released the tension in him. He hummed softly as he combed through the beautiful pink mess. Taeyong chuckled, it was low and soft and Sicheng felt it roll through his very bones.
“Are you humming Sun and Moon?” Sicheng laughed, bouncing on the older’s lap as he did. He nodded bashfully. Taeyong shook his head and smiled up at the younger fondly. Sicheng returned the gesture. Taeyong reached up and caressed Sicheng's cheek. He could feel them heat up as Taeyong came closer. Even with his clear embarrassment, Sicheng leaned down to meet Taeyong's lips.
The kiss was like the rain outside. Soft, but a beautiful background noise. Kissing Taeyong was always beautiful in every aspect, however. The heat his body radiated; the soft and yet confident hesitance of his hands as they skated around Sicheng's skin. The soft breaths he would take from his nose that Sicheng could feel brushing gently against his Cupid's bow. Taeyong was the opposite of his looks. His touches were soft and sweet. He looked as sharp as a knife, but being wrapped in his arms was like falling into the sweet loving feeling of silk. And if Taeyong's lips were an expensive piece, then his tongue was the most priceless velvet. He felt his breath leave him, and a hot electric wave jolt down his spine at the warm heat lapping at his lip, but he didn't reject it. Anything for a taste of that fine fabric that would dance across his own mouth.
Sicheng numbly thought of the fact that this was the most daring he had seen his lover. The early morning rain must have seeped a courage into Taeyong's bones. That courage Taeyong revealed in spades. His hands burned all over Sicheng's body. Every tingle that his finger tips laid set Sicheng aflame. Was it always like this? Had Sicheng missed out saying that he had no interest in sex? If every touch Taeyong laid was supposed to subdue Sicheng so much then the boy had clearly been missing out. He craved more of the hot burning that spread throughout his spine. He knew it was inappropriate to ask at this time and situation, but Sicheng couldn't help himself. He pulled his arms away from the amazing mess that was Taeyong's hair and slowly brought them down. Taeyong froze, the smooth movements of his hands on Sicheng's skin making his heart drop. Something about the innocent wide eyes batting up at him made Sicheng want the hot grasp of Taeyong's hands to spread everywhere. Sicheng gulped and, with more hesitance than intended, brought Taeyong's hands to rest across his chest. Their hands rested together under Sicheng's soft pajama top. It felt too hot for his skin, but he wouldn't want to rush a moment like this. He wanted to leave these moments engraved into his mind so he could always remember what Taeyong's hands felt like, and what he tasted like so early in the morning. Taeyong's wide almond eyes bore into Sicheng’s twinkling orbs as their hands moved together to feel across Sicheng’s chest. Before Taeyong could even get the chance to ask anything, Sicheng looked down at Taeyong his wide eyes staring back impatiently, squirming. Taeyong got the hint.
Sicheng shivered as rough fingers brushed up his sensitive skin. Taeyong was watching him, restraining himself. Even if Taeyong couldn’t see what he was feeling, but he was clearly appreciating what was being given to him. Sicheng watched as the elder bit his lip at the feeling. Taeyong was at a loss at feeling up Sicheng’s beautifully strong center. He felt an urge inside him to bend the man over to feel those muscles tighten under his touch. So many daring ideas filled his head at once. Sicheng was completely at his mercy. Granted, this was probably one of the most unconventional ways to get to this situation; but Taeyong would take advantage of it regardless. He could do what he wanted; but Sicheng should want it too. Taeyong bit down once again on his thin lip at the thought. They had never discussed or even seen each other watching anything of this manner. Taeyong was at a loss for what Sicheng would like. By his demand for more contact, it was at least clear he wasn’t patient with teasing. Taeyong gulped when his mind settled on one of the thousands of despicable thoughts that swarmed him. Carefully, he brought his hands out of the man’s shirt, only to start tugging on said shirt gently.
“Are you- are you alright with not…?” Taeyong tugged again to signify what he wanted. Sicheng felt his skin flush even more, heat pooling in his stomach. He worried that somehow being so close made Taeyong able to hear his thoughts. Sicheng shyly started to undo the buttons of the shirt. It was awkward to say the very least. He stumbled more than necessary, knowing Taeyong’s eyes were watching his moves. They roamed everywhere, boring holes into him with each gaze. It burnt Sicheng to undo the few buttons that were on his shirt, the feeling causing an involuntary twitch. Finished with his shirt, Sicheng was about to throw it somewhere unknown before realizing exactly who he was sitting on. To feed the perfectionist in Taeyong, Sicheng neatly folded his shirt and set it down on the table. He was returned with the most sly and proud smile he had ever faced. Taeyong pulled Sicheng closer by his hips as he cooed his praise.
“I’ve taught my Winnie so well.” Sicheng smiled down tenderly at him. Even at such serious times Taeyong could be playful. It was meant to mock him but Sicheng could only pay attention to the love in his words. Really , he only listened to the words “my Winnie” . It had been made clear countless times. Sicheng would never turn down a chance to hear his name following “My” if it was from Taeyong. He leaned down to sweetly catch Taeyong’s lips again. The passion of before didn’t match the calm laziness of this kiss, but Taeyong made up for it tenfold. Sicheng squeaked as he pulled back. Taeyong had brought his hands up to pinch at his pectorals and ( gently ) scratch at his ribs. Taeyong looked on in concern, his movements slowing. Sicheng couldn't find words that wouldn’t crush him in his shame. He leaned more into the hands resting over his ribs as he hung his head shyly . Taeyong, bless him, took the hint. He continued to leave tracks all up Sicheng’s chest. Every scratch was followed by another until it stung just for Taeyong to touch his skin. Taeyong was gentle yet sadistic to the poor man. Sicheng couldn’t help himself but whine and whimper after each touch to his skin. It was as though Taeyong was trying to dig down to Sicheng’s heart.
Then Taeyong changed directions.
Sicheng nearly knocked them both out of the chair when he jerked forward. He gripped onto the dining room chair as his only life support. The whole dorm probably heard the sharp gasp that Sicheng pulled in. Taeyong was actually kissing up Sicheng’s chest. But that wasn’t the issue. The issue was when he brought his mouth straight to Sicheng’s nipple. He started to bite and suck at the poor sensitive skin, torturing the younger. Sicheng never considered his chest a sensitive area, but now he wished he would have. Taeyong now got the satisfaction of knowing he discovered Sicheng’s weakness. Taeyong, without any help from Sicheng himself, had found Sicheng’s Achilles heel. In Sicheng’s blind shock, he crushed Taeyong’s face into his chest, not processing how that could hurt the elder. And yet Taeyong didn’t seem to be phased . Taeyong strengthened his attacks before Sicheng had a chance to pull him by his hair . Without thinking, Sicheng let out a whiny call of Taeyong’s name.
The pop was absolutely obscene. It was wet and Sicheng could practically feel the bruises forming from hearing it alone. He could hear Taeyong gulp as he processed everything that had occurred. He was burning up. Sicheng could feel the fire on his own skin. He could feel every part of Taeyong like this, or at least the parts that currently mattered. The silence hung thick in the air. Taeyong only staring at Sicheng and Sicheng trying to kill the shame that stabbed him in the heart. The younger wasn't sure what the pause was for. He just wanted it to end. Taeyong didn't even move in the quiet. He just sat there with that shocked expression on his face.
Sicheng nearly screamed when he was practically thrown onto the table. It happened so fast that it left his head buzzing. Taeyong, within the blink of an eye, had lifted Sicheng by his ass and placed him confidently on the dining table. Luckily, the wood was steady and handled Sicheng’s weight like a champion. Sicheng gasped and gripped at the edge of the wood as large hands danced across his thighs. He reflexively slammed his thighs shut. Taeyong pulled them right back apart again without hesitation. Seeing Taeyong being strong and dominant was the sexiest thing known. There was nothing soft and hesitant about the elder now. He was hungry and he was going to take whatever he wanted from Sicheng at this point.
Taeyong wasn't being subtle about his destination. His mouth worked down Sicheng's ribs. As he ate at Sicheng his hands kneaded into Sicheng's muscular thighs. It was as though those touches were his entire life force. It was all rough and obscene. Taeyong's bites, the work of his calloused hands, and the sound of Sicheng pouting and whining. It was all so much. But then, somehow it all stopped.
Sicheng looked down. He met the shy little eyes that were looking up at him from between his thighs. Taeyong's thumbs ran circles into the juncture between Sicheng's thigh and crotch. The mood lost all intensity. It was soft and erotic now. Taeyong stumbled trying to find his words. His voice was raspy and full of concern. He grabbed onto the edge of Sicheng's pants as he finally questioned him.
“Are you alright if I.. Um…“ He tugged on Sicheng's bottoms. He genuinely couldn't finish his sentence. Sicheng gulped. How was Taeyong even able to ask a question like that? Sicheng covered his face, but he nodded roughly. Sicheng was too far gone to take care of himself. If Taeyong was going to offer, then Sicheng was definitely going to accept. Taeyong gave a relieved sigh and slowly brought down Sicheng's bottoms and underwear.
Sicheng couldn't help but peek. A single look at Taeyong couldn't hurt. Sicheng was shaking and shivering at every kitten lick and brush of the fingers Taeyong gave him. Yet none of that stopped Taeyong. He kept leading Sicheng on, hoping to tease him till he'd snap and demand more from the elder. Sicheng would never be hard on Taeyong like that, but at least Taeyong could dream a little. If Sicheng only ever wanted to be sweet and good on Taeyong, that would be fine. But Taeyong wouldn't complain if Sicheng started to treat Taeyong sadistically . Taeyong wouldn't complain if Sicheng played with him till he broke.
Sicheng watched as Taeyong finally brought his head down. He heard his own loud gasp at the feeling of Taeyong slowly bringing the younger’s cock into his mouth. Sicheng would probably never erase that image from his brain. Taeyong making eye contact and holding it as he just slowly brought his head up and down. Sicheng didn't even consider being quiet at this point. Now he just let out every shuddered breath and breathy call of the elder’s name come out. He wasn't loud, but he was very vocal. Taeyong nearly came in his own pajama bottoms just from the reactions he got out of Sicheng.
Taeyong gradually brought up the anti. His hands wrapped around whatever couldn't get into his mouth and pumped. Taeyong didn't keep himself from taking in the view. Sicheng was a million dollar masterpiece. His hands didn't even cover his face anymore. He gripped at the table as he shivered and moaned. The very little light was just enough to reveal the bruises that bloomed all over his chest. He was an image of passion. A very different passion than he'd seen when watching the younger when he was "alone" and dancing. This was hot passion. Passion that made him melt in Taeyong's grasp and yet keep begging for more. This was passion that made him god like. Passion that made his skin flaming hot. Taeyong couldn't peel his eyes away from Sicheng. His motions were becoming haphazard. He bobbed his head following no true pace and his hand now rubbed and crushed when he felt like it. Taeyong gagged when it became too much for Sicheng all at once.
Sicheng was absolutely gone. He was a puddle of goo on the dining table. How in the world could Taeyong possibly be this good? He was killing Sicheng and it looked like he wasn't breaking a sweat. The uniformed pace was beautiful and amazing in it's synchronization. But Sicheng fell apart when Taeyong couldn't keep himself together anymore. The different paces and movements were pushing Sicheng over the edge. Without even thinking twice, he gripped onto Taeyong's hair. Taeyong had stopped, concerned something was wrong. Sicheng felt Taeyong's hands tense in shock as Sicheng began to thrust into his mouth. Yet Taeyong didn't ask for release. He slackened his jaw and let Sicheng fuck into his mouth.
“T-Taeyong… “ Sicheng groaned out. Even though all he said was his name, Taeyong instantly understood. He brought his hands up to grip the table with vigor. He slowly opened up his eyes once again. They couldn't make eye contact at this angle. But all Taeyong needed was to see was what Sicheng looked like so fucked out. He didn't get to enjoy his view for long. His eyes blurred with tears as he gagged. He felt his eyes roll back in his head as Sicheng thrusted deeper than he had at any other point. Taeyong understood why when he felt a new foreign warmth hit the back of his throat.
When Sicheng pulled away his hands, some of Taeyong's hair had gotten pulled out and ended up in his own fist. Sicheng slumped. He was panting and trying to get use to the fact that every single color blended together when he came. It hit him harder than anything before. He could have sworn he saw the stars. It took him a minute,but the second he heard the wet noise of Taeyong pulling his mouth away he realized what he'd done.
“My God are you okay?” Sicheng lifted Taeyong's head up and looked him over. Taeyong laughed, even though it came out a croak, it was still pure and joyful. Taeyong stood to be even with the younger.
“I'm fine. I wanted you to do that. You were great honey.” Sicheng broke. He was entirely taken aback.
“But-”
“No buts. When I say I want to be hurt I mean it.” Sicheng squinted until realization hit him. Taeyong's lines in their more inappropriate songs. Suddenly they made so much more sense.
“You were actually serious about those lines?” Taeyong chuckled and nodded. He pulled Sicheng off the table and lifted his pants and underwear up for him.
“ Possibly .“ he stole a quick kiss before leading Sicheng to the couch and plopping down.
Taeyong snuggled into the smaller happily . Sicheng sighed and gave in. It was best to drop the subject now. There was no arguing if Taeyong was being uncooperative. He smiled and snuggled back. He ran his hands calmly over Taeyong's bareback. It was lovely. They sat there in silence. Briefly , Sicheng wondered if he should say something about his watching habits. But at Taeyong's sleeping breaths he decided it was best left alone. He kissed the elder’s forehead before joining him in sleep. He'd talk to him tomorrow.
Taeyong shifted as he heard clatter from the kitchen. He was nearly back asleep before voices interrupted his attempts. He sighed and opened his eyes. He was met with a beautiful sleeping Sicheng. His hair tousled and cheeks pink but that only made him more precious. He was absolutely angelic. Taeyong felt guilt rip at him for having to wreck such an image. Gently , Taeyong shook him awake. Sicheng sleepily blinked at him. He gave him a lazy smile before getting a soft peck to the lips. Taeyong stood and tugged Sicheng to his feet. Sicheng hugged onto Taeyong's back and walked along with him. Taeyong moved into the kitchen with his new little leech.
“Well good afternoon you two!” Mark intentionally spoke as loudly as possible. The group laughed as both of them scowled at him. Taeyong sighed and began to greet him back before he noticed something very off.
“Why are you all sitting on only one side of the table?” He squinted at each of them. He tensed when they suddenly all made the same expression. Taeyong did not like the evil smirks that spread across every single one of their faces.
“I'm not sure. Johnny, why are we all on only one side?” Donghyuck passed the attention to Johnny. Johnny calmly stirred his coffee as he spoke.
“From what I saw this morning, I deemed that side contaminated.” He grinned up at the couple over the mug. Sicheng slowly released Taeyong and looked at them all in confusion. Taeyong could keep a straight face at what Johnny was hinting. But when Sicheng finally understood, he shut down entirely . He slapped his hands over his face as he softly screamed into his hands. The whole table erupted in laughter. Taeyong softly pat Sicheng's back as he died of embarrassment.
“No but congratulations you guys. Now all you have to do is get married” Yuta perked up at the words “get married”. Taeyong chuckled and shook his head. They could be annoying almost all the time but he knew they meant well. He made himself and Sicheng tea before sitting down with them all. He was calm until he remembered one important detail.
“Wait, who won the bet then?”