Chapter Text
Jihoon had always suspected that he was probably the unluckiest guy there ever was, but from the moment he laid his eyes on the infamous Kang (fucking) Daniel again after three years, he was ultimately assured that he was born cursed. Cursed. He must’ve done something really bad in his last life to deserve something like this now.
They-- Jihoon and Samuel-- had just gotten their keys from the administrative desk and they decided to take the longer route to their building just for the sake of familiarizing themselves with the campus when Jihoon spotted a figure that made his blood run cold.
He stared at his ex-- who evidently hadn’t spotted Jihoon yet-- with his mouth hanging wide open, jaw practically unhinged. No fucking way, he thought to himself. Oh my fucking god. He turned his head sharply to the right to check if Samuel was looking at Daniel as well. He was. And with a pure evil smirk playing on his lips. Jihoon could already see the wheels in the younger boy’s head turning quickly, a ridiculous and idiotic plan undoubtedly being put together piece by piece in there.
That little bitch.
“Whatever it is you’re thinking, I’m not going to do it,” Jihoon said first, just to be safe. He hooked his arm around Samuel’s and tried to pull the latter away and out of view from Daniel. “Oh my god, how could this happen to me?” he asked-- more to himself than to his friend-- in a panicked, hushed tone.
“I have an idea,” Samuel announced loudly. Jihoon clamped his hand over his best friend’s mouth. He led the both of them to the back of a nearby tree frenectically and prayed that they were obscured from that asshole’s vision.
“No,” the older boy said firmly. Samuel raised his hand to take Jihoon’s one away from his mouth and grinned widely.
“Look, Jihoon, just listen to me before making a decision. This could be a good plan-- you’d never know unless you gave it a chance, at least.” His smile broadened considerably when he saw Jihoon slowly relenting and letting himself be convinced. “Alright, so, the plan is that I pretend to be your boyfriend--”
Jihoon held up a hand to Samuel’s face, his lips pursed together tightly. “Okay. You can stop there now. There’s no way I’m going to do that. And with you, no less,” Jihoon said monotonously and started to walk away hurriedly in the direction opposite from Daniel. His best friend caught up with him effortlessly and swung an arm around Jihoon’s shoulders.
“Oh come on, there’s nothing wrong with dating me,” Samuel whined. “And you haven’t even heard the rest of the plan,” he continued to complain.
“Hah. I can already guess that the part that comes next in the plan would be something like trying to get him jealous of us and it’s not going to work, Samuel. He gives no shit about things like relationships. He probably doesn’t even remember me anymore,” Jihoon admitted bitterly and looked away, trying desperately to shrug off his best friend’s arm. He took a deep breath and forced himself to say, “Besides, I think I’m over him.”
“Emphasis on think-- it means you’re not sure. And when you’re unsure, it means you’re lying to yourself. You’re never getting over Daniel, Hoon-ah.”
The older boy stopped in his tracks to stare at Samuel, scowling. “Wow,” he said. “Thanks a lot. I thought you were on my side.”
“I am on your side. I’m probably the only one on your side about this thing right now. I mean, I’m literally your only friend.”
Jihoon’s face hardened and his frown deepened. “You are so not my only friend.”
“I so am,” Samuel insisted.
“I also know and meet up with Daehwi and Jinyoung regularly.”
“Jinyoung left you for Daehwi and you know that.” Samuel looked to Jihoon with something similar to pity. Sadly, they both knew that there was only one solid, consistent reason as to why Jihoon was so convinced that he was cursed, and there was actually prove for it. He had a chain of crushes throughout his entire life of 19 years and none of them had ever ended or progressed decently, to put it simply. Somehow, to go into detail about his string of ill-fated relationship fails, every single one of his crushes would always develop feelings for one of his close friends and Jihoon would end up being the third-wheel of their relationship.
That was partly why his originally large network of friends had dwindled down to a pathetic number indeed. Samuel was the only one he contacted on a daily basis now.
The only exception to this ‘curse’ was none other than Kang Daniel.
They dated. He turned out to be worse instead.
“You didn’t have to rub it in,” Jihoon finally decided on saying. He shoved his hands into his pockets and resumed his walk to nowhere again.
“I’m sorry,” Samuel winced.
“It’s okay, I’m over it,” Jihoon said blankly. Samuel couldn’t tell if the older boy was lying or not, but he fell into step beside Jihoon easily on instinct. “I’m over Daniel,” Jihoon said again, this time with his voice layered by something that sounded like assurance. Samuel knew that Jihoon had said that more for his own sake than anyone else’s, so the younger boy decided not to question the statement.
Yet.
He had a plan brewing in his mind-- a bad one with a bunch of loopholes, if he was being honest with himself-- and he wasn’t ready to give up on that before managing to ruin Daniel the same way that guy had done to his best friend.
-----
Daniel raked a hand through his newly dyed hair just to draw some attention to it. Seongwoo’s eyes caught the action and smirked.
“Feeling dandy, Daniel?” he asked.
“A little,” Daniel admitted with a small smile. He had a mop of dirty blonde hair before, and everyone assured him that he looked hot with it, but then he’d decided that he needed a change and dyed it dark brown the previous weekend. And he thought that he had never made a better decision.
Despite the confident mask of a person he put on around most people, Daniel was actually very insecure and constantly on the edge, worrying about what everyone thought about him. Maybe that was why he fucked around so much-- to make himself feel appreciated and wanted. He couldn’t say the same for the people he’d dumped, but to be so looked up upon by people he didn’t even know, it made him feel power. Assurance.
And he liked to feel that-- he craved assurance and approval from other people. And that was possibly due to the fact that he lacked that when he was a child, pressured by his parents and siblings to chase after perfection since a tender age-- something he had never achieved, at least not by his family’s standards.
Anyway, since he changed his hair color again, he’d felt more sure than ever-- self-approval or something along that line.
“Going to the party this Saturday?” Seongwoo asked, patting the spot next to him on the bench, a gesture inviting Daniel to sit beside him.
“I don’t know, really,” Daniel said, planting himself beside his friend.
“There will be tons of freshmen there.”
“And why are you telling me this? You know I don’t have a particular interest in them.”
Seongwoo hummed and nodded with a small smile. “I’m not so sure about that-- I know of one freshman you’ll definitely be looking forward to see around campus and I think he’ll be there this Saturday.” Daniel could tell something was off by the way Seongwoo was evidently excited to announce the piece of news he’d somehow managed to get his hands on. The younger boy relented and raised an eyebrow, prompting Seongwoo to continue. “Park Jihoon.”
And that was it. Seongwoo was perched on the edge of his seat like a bird about to take flight, his eyes fixed on Daniel’s, waiting for the explosive reaction he’d expected. He didn’t go much into detail about Jihoon’s case because he knew that the name itself would be self-explanatory enough. But there was nothing. Something flickered uncertainly in Daniel’s eyes and the younger boy’s expression went a little blank and indifferent, but that was all. Seongwoo’s smile fell. He was hoping that this semester would be a little more interesting than the last but it seemed like Daniel really thought of Jihoon as nothing more than another one of his casual flings.
“So?” Daniel asked flatly.
“God, you’re such a bitch.”
Daniel looked away and shrugged nonchalantly, as if the news of him possibly meeting Jihoon again wasn’t a big deal. He exhaled heavily, feeling kind of vexed and not knowing why. “Yeah, thanks. I already knew that.”
“Are you going to go?” his friend continued to pester him insistently.
“I was going to up until you told me he might be there. You know I don’t like running into my exes, Seongwoo.”
“Huh,” Seongwoo murmured to himself. “Judging by how much you fuck on a weekly basis, I’d thought that you would have already been with half the campus by now.”
“I didn’t date them,” Daniel hissed.
“Ah,” Seongwoo crooned annoyingly, “so Park Jihoon was an exception.”
“No,” Daniel growled, furrowing his brows together, still refusing to look at Seongwoo in the face. “Park Jihoon…” meant a lot to me, was what he wanted to say, but he stopped himself short before he could get there. “Park Jihoon was a bad decision,” he decided finally.
Because it wasn’t a complete lie-- Jihoon was a bad decision, but he definitely wasn’t a mistake. No matter how many sleepless nights Daniel spent in bed with his brain ridden by thoughts of the boy, he could never find a fault in him.
Park Jihoon was innocent, he was pure. He was like the first day of spring.
And Daniel was far too tainted to be with him.
-----
Unfortunately for Jihoon, he ended up being stuck as Samuel’s roommate.
He saw this coming, of course. After all, they both requested each other for roommates on the matching questionnaire and they had similar habits and preferences. Plus, it was definitely better than having to be introduced to a new person and put up with whatever weird tendencies the guy had. But still, Jihoon was kind of disappointed with the fact that he wouldn’t be fully exploring the ‘new' aspect of this chapter to his life thoroughly.
“I’m taking the nicer bed,” Samuel said. “And you do the unlocking-- I already put my key away.”
“You’re so annoying,” the older boy complained with a frown.
“Just hurry up.” Jihoon wasn’t happy being bossed around by his younger friend but he settled with muttering a few choice words under his breath and immediately set about unlocking their room door, anticipation coursing through his veins. The door opened with a small click and Jihoon pushed it ajar.
“Well,” Samuel finally spoke. “That was more anti climatic than I thought it would be.” They walked gingerly into the room, inspecting every inch of it with their eyes. There was some dust on the desks, wardrobes and shelves but other than that, it was pretty standard and normal looking.
Normal was familiar, Jihoon could make peace with a room like this.
The sheets on the beds looked freshly changed and were in pristine condition, so Samuel hopped onto the bed on the right side, then hurried to the other one, testing both of them out. Jihoon should put a stop to it and start nagging the younger boy but he was far too drained of energy for that.
“I’m taking the one on the right side,” he finally declared.
“Fine,” Jihoon sniffed and dumped his bag onto the chair on his side of the room.
“Should we start establishing ground rules?”
“Let’s get the rest of our stuff before someone steals them. Also, your dad is probably getting impatient.”
The younger boy scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Screw him.” Jihoon wasn’t shocked when his friend had answered-- he knew about the strained relationship between Samuel and his father and after meeting the man a few times, he decided that he couldn’t blame Samuel for despising his own father so much. “No one wants your smelly ass plushies, Jihoon,” the guy added.
“No one wants your smelly ass, Samuel,” Jihoon shot back. Samuel feigned hurt but Jihoon was already halfway out the door.
-----
They moved the rest of their stuff up to their room together quickly enough, thanks to the fact that Samuel wasn’t too hung up on saying goodbye to his dad. After taking out his fat, new expensive textbooks and dropping them unceremoniously on his desk, he started putting them into place on the shelf above the table. Needless to say, Samuel was less enthusiastic about starting to unpack. He’d been disturbing his best friend for the past few minutes, trying to get Jihoon in on the idea of going out to get coffee or some small snacks.
Jihoon ignored him straight on.
After folding and hanging up all of his clothes in the wardrobe, Jihoon started what he thought was the most important and fun part of unpacking-- personalizing his side of the space.
“Jihoon,” Samuel whined.
“What.”
“I’m bored. Let’s do something interesting.”
“Like what?” Jihoon asked, falling right into the trap.
The younger boy sat up straighter on his bed. “Like… gossiping. Talking.”
Jihoon turned back to the box labelled ‘books and pictures' and started unloading the contents of it onto the floor, careful when handling each item. He was already disinterested but just to keep Samuel in a decent mood, he went along with it. “Sure,” he agreed, mustering up all the eagerness he could into his voice, which honestly wasn’t much. “Let’s talk. You start.”
“So. Daniel .”
“Okay, stop.” Jihoon stood up and faced Samuel with a serious expression. Everytime he heard that name, he could feel his old wounds and scars reopening and reaching deeper in him than ever. Not literally, of course-- almost all the signs of self-harm he’d inflicted on himself before were nearly healed. Scars on skin mended and got better, but the ones on his heart had yet to do the same. “Like you said earlier, I think we’re really going to have to make some rules if you want to continue living with me.”
Samuel opened his mouth but Jihoon continued speaking first, “First of all, no talking about that guy. Second of all, from now on, I want to pretend I don’t know him. Please .”
“Yeah, so you’re just going to run away from your problems like you did before? Smart plan,” Samuel argued, his words carrying on a sarcastic tone.
“Yes, I will,” Jihoon replied seriously.
“Really, Jihoon, what makes you think that’s a good strategy?”
“Strategy for what, Sam? This isn’t a fucking game we’re playing right now. It’s my life and that guy ruined it. All I’m trying to do is make everything better but every time you say his name--” Jihoon’s voice broke and he struggled for a few seconds to recollect his calm demeanor. “Look. Point is, Samuel, I’m trying to recover from what he did to me. I’m not going to deny the fact that he probably fucked me up so badly it’s beyond repair, but I’m doing my best at forgetting that asshole for good, so I would like it if you could stop bringing him up.”
Samuel was frowning, clearly showing his disapproval of Jihoon’s plan.
“You can’t just… forget. Memories don’t go away that easily.”
“That’s why I’m trying so hard.”
They were silent for a few heartbeats, and Jihoon turned away from his friend before he started crying again. He knelt down and reached into the box, pulling the last of its contents out of it, his actions dragged out but purposeful.
“Fine.”
Jihoon ignored him, focused on arranging the framed photographs set on his desk. There were only three in total-- one of him with Samuel and the latter’s dog Cooper wagging its tail between the both of them happily while another showed Jihoon and his older brother each cradling a bouquet of flowers in their arms, smiling brightly at the camera. Jihoon smiled a little as he looked at it, the picture flooding his mind with nothing but good memories. It was a nice change. In the last photograph, Jihoon, Jinyoung, Samuel and Daehwi were hugging tightly, as if they never wanted to let go. It was a testament to their close friendship, and Jihoon cherished that picture very much indeed. It was at the graduation ceremony of their high school and Jihoon remembered how ecstatic and free he felt on that day.
However, a good two weeks after they took that picture together, Daehwi and Jinyoung (dubbed as Jinhwi by Samuel) announced their newly founded relationship to Samuel and Jihoon. They were so thrilled, Jihoon couldn’t bear to express his disappointment to the duo. Instead, he started to distance himself from the two, coming less and less frequently to their post high school graduation gatherings. Samuel had been right by his side throughout that whole period of time, choosing to prioritize Jihoon’s feelings over anything else.
“I won’t talk about him anymore.”
“God, please don’t start saying it like that. You make it sound as though this is some shitty cliche-d romance novel.”
“Stop criticizing romance novels,” Samuel said defensively. "If you don't want to talk about your ex anymore, fine. But I want to make sure you won't bring up or insult my book genre preferences anymore." Jihoon relaxed and laughed lightly at that, refraining himself from mentioning his best friend's all time favorite novel-- Twilight. The sound of Jihoon brightening up again brought a smile to Samuel’s lips automatically. He could never stand seeing Jihoon sad.
“Thanks. I appreciate it,” Jihoon said genuinely.
“That’s what friends are for, you dipshit. And since you only have one left, I figured I should make myself as helpful as three friends combined.”
The older boy smiled softly at that.
Samuel cleared his throat. “Anyway, since I’ve been so tolerant and nice to you, I insist you stop unpacking right now and come have coffee with me downstairs.” He stood up from the bed and hooked his arm around Jihoon’s to pull the latter up forcefully. “Let’s go, you lil fucker, we have a lot of things to do.”
Jihoon groaned as he let himself be dragged from his spot on the floor. “Remind me why I put up with your shit.”
“Making amends, remember? Grab your stuff and hurry,” Samuel rushed his friend impatiently.
Jihoon only thought to bring along his phone and room keys.
Before Jihoon closed the door behind them, Samuel turned back just in time to see Jihoon’s gaze lingering on the picture of the four of them clinging on to one another.
I’m the only one he has left now , Samuel realized sadly. He couldn’t imagine how lonely that must feel.
-----
They were at a cafe called Java Flava and in all honesty Daniel thought that it was a little lame and tried too hard to look like Starbucks, but Seongwoo had demanded to come here so in the end, Daniel gave up on arguing about which place to eat at and went with his friend’s suggestion. Jisung and Woojin both tagged along with them as well.
He should’ve known that a place called the Java Flava would of course attract Park Jihoon. As the latter walked into the cafe, Daniel couldn’t believe how similar the boy had remained in terms of physical appearances. He was just as pretty as before, with his smooth, milky skin and full pink lips. Daniel’s gaze immediately flitted over to the younger boy’s eyes-- a habit he just realized that he never got rid of. He had loved looking and staring into them for hours on end back when they were together, mainly because when people said that Jihoon had stars in his eyes, they weren’t exaggerating at all. But something about the boy had shifted-- changed-- but Daniel couldn’t quite put his finger on it.
He did a double take when he realized that the other boy-- golden, tall and handsome-- who came in after Jihoon was with Jihoon. And that guy was none other than Samuel, Jihoon’s best friend since high school. Daniel would be lying if he said that he didn’t feel a sharp, jealous stab to his heart when he saw how close the two were with each other.
His hands gripped the edge of the cafe’s wooden table tightly.
“What are you looking at?” Seongwoo asked him, then followed his line of sight and spotted Jihoon as well. Daniel knew he was fucked when Seongwoo's shit eating grin appeared. He laughed loudly, surprising Daniel and gaining the attention of Woojin and Jisung quickly. They stared at him curiously, trying to point out what Seongwoo had found so hilarious. He prodded Daniel in the stomach and gave another short burst of laughter. “Oh my god, you’re literally like a Park Jihoon magnet,” he exclaimed.
Daniel glared at Seongwoo with fire in his eyes as the rest of their company tried to figure out what was happening. Daniel shot his friend a warning look but was blatantly ignored without second thoughts.
“Hey Woojin, you know that Daniel used to date that guy from your class before, right?”
“Daniel dated a lot of guys before-- which one are you talking about?”
“Short, very pretty and a model student. Has the ‘most stunning eyes anyone has ever seen’,” Seongwoo described, eyes darting over to Daniel when he quoted the latter. He rolled his eyes hard. “Ever heard of this guy?”
The redhead looked confused but nodded anyway. “Yeah… his name is Jihoon, right? I wasn’t very close to him and we very nearly never talked. I have a feeling he’s kind of intimidated by me. Weird guy,” Woojin mused to himself.
“And did you know that he’s like, actually here, right now?”
“Who is Jihoon and why haven’t I heard of him before?” Jisung asked automatically, turning on his big brother mode. It only ever appeared when Daniel got himself a new partner, which was pretty often because he didn’t really like sticking around just one person for too long. Jisung turned his eyes onto Daniel and pursed his lips together tightly, definitely about to demand an explanation from the boy. God, he reminds me of my mum, Daniel lamented to himself.
“Ask Daniel yourself-- he’s still heads over heels in love with him,” Seongwoo answered in a breezy, sing-song voice that pissed Daniel off to no end.
“Fucking die, Ong Seongwoo,” Daniel muttered under his breath.
Woojin was still puzzled, but his interest had been undoubtedly piqued. “He’s here?” he asked loudly. “Where is he? Is he coming over?”
“I’m not head over heels in love with anyone,” Daniel tried desperately to explain to Jisung. “Really, I swear to god I’m not hiding anything from you. You find out all my secrets eventually anyway,” he said as convincingly as he could, which was apparently not enough because Jisung still had his eyes narrowed at Daniel, the older boy scrutinizing him, searching for the tell tale signs of lying in Daniel’s eyes.
“Then why don’t I know about this Park Jihoon?”
“Because," he nearly shouted, “you never asked!”
“Where is he, where is he,” Woojin kept on chanting under his breath, practically climbing the seats to search for his high school classmate. “I can’t see him. Seongwoo, do you see him?”
“Can you guys like, shut up,” Daniel replied in a low, dangerous tone. Much to his surprise, they quieted down obediently (which Daniel found weird, but decided not to mention). Even Woojin stopped trying to scale the sofa. “Since you guys want to know who Jihoon is, I’ll tell you-- he’s just another one of the people I fucked around with and then dumped because I only ever wanted one thing from him and I got it eventually. He means absolutely nothing more than that to me and I have no idea why Seongwoo thinks he’s any different from my other flings, okay?”
He leaned back into his seat and closed his eyes for a few seconds, giving himself some peace. Then he opened his eyes, the uncomfortable silence finally creeping him out enough. He looked around the table and stared at their frozen frames, as if someone had used the pause button on all of them.
“What?” he asked.
He frowned deeply and turned to the left, and met the eyes of Park Jihoon, who happened to be looking straight at him as well.
Judging by the dark expression on Samuel’s face, Daniel could already tell he’d fucked up with Jihoon for the second time.