Chapter Text
Bellamy didn't mean to turn into one of those guys that just sulks in the bar, sitting by himself at the counter, and staring off into nothingness while making sure that there was more alcohol than water in his body, but here he was. And after his twelfth shot of vodka and his fourth glass of a straight sour whiskey, the bartender serving him was a little concerned.
"So you're just gonna hang out here all night, throwing your money away?" She asks, and Bellamy just raises an eyebrow, not saying anything back, but instead choosing to take another long sip of his drink. "At least tell me why I have the amazing opportunity of keeping the bar open on the Monday night of New Years when I could be at home in bed." Bellamy squints at her nametag. Luna.
"Are you Raven's Luna?" He asks, ignoring her request, and a faint smile traces her lips.
"Yeah, I am. Good to know she talks about me to bar drunkies."
Bellamy rolls his eyes and finishes his drink, making it a point to put the glass back down on the wooden counter with more force than necessary, and feeling a sense of accomplishment when he hears the thud. "I don't normally drink this heavy. At least.. not anymore."
"Well then, what broke your perfect streak?" Luna sounds a little curious, but Bellamy has a feeling it's because she's bored and he's the only customer there. Like she said, it's the Monday after New Years' night. The world doesn't stop turning because the calendar turns its page to a new year, even though it might take a brief pause to celebrate.
"Last night did, actually."
"What, you don't appreciate the turn of a new year?" Bellamy rolls his eyes and glares down at the counter.
"It's not like time is an actual thing. It's just a concept. But.. Last night I lost the girl I'm in love with."
"What did you do?" He turns his glare at her now, and clenches his jaw.
"I didn't do anything. When the clock turned twelve, she just... forgot who I was."
"Are you going to the Blakes' for New Years or are you and Bradbury running off together and starting the New Year right by hooking up?"
"Bellamy doesn't believe in time, you know this, Raven." Clarke picks her head up to see a freshly showered Raven brushing through her hair while standing in the middle of the doorway leading into her bedroom. "But yeah, I think the plan was to go to their apartment for the annual party." Raven disappears into her room for a few minutes, but returns dressed and her hair tied back into her classic ponytail. She launches herself at the couch, next to Clarke.
"When are you two going to get together?"
"You know he doesn't see me like that, Rae." Clarke rolls her eyes, picking up her phone and scrolling through a useless social media app.
"And you know that's total bullshit, Clarkey. Remember when he found out that you and Roan hooked up? He was pissed."
"That's because he didn't think Roan was a good person and he was watching out for me. Don't make it into something it's not." Raven scoffs.
"He was watching out for you because he wants you for himself, but you two are too stubborn to do anything about it."
"Okay, say that you're right. Why does he keep dating these other girls then? Gina? Echo? I look nothing like them. I'm not his type." Raven shakes her head again and stands up, a little slow because of her brace, but she doesn't need help anymore with it, so that's improvement.
"Clarke, if he even had a type, it would be you. It's not like he was planning on marrying any of 'em. You wanna know why? Because he's waiting to do that shit with you. But hey, what do I know. Not like I'm a rocket scientist or anything," and now it was Clarke's turn to roll her eyes. "Oh wait. I am." She crosses her arms and glares down at Clarke. "I'm telling you, you have no chance of fucking this up. You just gotta go see that for yourself."
Bellamy has been in her life for about six years now; her entire college career as well as the remnants of her senior year from high school, but that was more so because of Octavia than Bellamy. He has always been in the background of her life. A presence that she was made aware of, but didn't particularly care for. It was easy for Clarke to not pay that much attention to him. First she was busy with starting college, and then she was dating Lexa while majoring in Biochemistry and enrolling into pre-med. But when Clarke caught Lexa cheating on her with her ex-girlfriend Costia, and it shook her entire world around, Bellamy still stood there, his presence as solid as a mountain.
And really, if someone ever asked her when she knew that she might love Bellamy Blake, that's probably when Clarke would say. Because at the moment in time, it seemed as if everything just sort of paused after falling apart, and only Bellamy remained in motion. It all cleared into focus, and it focused on him. But that was also the turning point in which he became her best friend, the one that she could always rely on. And she was happy with that. Or at least she thought she was.
It took him dating Gina to realize that she was in love with him though. The two of them lasted for months and sometimes even now, Clarke gets a little worked up over it. She was so worried that he was going to pop the question to Gina, and even though she felt guilty, Clarke was immensely relieved when she inevitably broke up with him. He never told Clarke why, but any reason was good enough for her at that point.
"Clarke!" A voice yells. Jerking away from her thoughts, Clarke scans around the room, her gaze landing on Octavia who's returning the look pointedly at her. "You gonna help or what? The party starts in three hours and we still need to get dressed."
"Yeah, I'm coming," Clarke mumbles, letting her mind drift back to all the missed opportunities she could've had with the older Blake.
And while she definitely wouldn't be opposed to it, Clarke just can't help but worry of kissing him, and then discovering that he wanted nothing to do with her to begin with. So she lets Octavia give her some complex task, and then another, and another. Time passes quickly, but while Clarke is getting dressed in Octavia's bedroom, she can't help but let her mind drift back to the man that is causing her so much trouble.
Pulling the zipper of her shiny, silver dress up. Bellamy's hot breath on her neck, his hands at her hips, daring to go lower.
Brushing her hair until it turns glossy. His gaze sharp on her, his eyes dark and predatory.
Swiping her lips with a wine red, covering her eyelids in a shadow gray. Dirty whispers in her ear, meant for only him and her.
It leaves her wanting, but if she leaves Octavia's now, it'll be suspicious.
So she stays.
It didn't take long to get drunk, especially with their group of friends that dance around, and love to mix alcohol with other types that clearly don't go together. But before she knows it, Clarke is chanting down with her friends to the start of a new year, and they all have paired off except for her and Bellamy.
But they're each other's pair.
"10!" roars the crowd, as their gazes meet.
"9!" They move towards each other.
"8!" He gives her a smile, as his lips form the next number.
"7!" She gives him one back, while swallowing back her nerves.
"6!" A hand cups her face. Her arms go around his neck.
"5!" Close. So, so close, that they are sharing the same breath.
"4!" He looks hesitant, a quiet whisper of are you sure?
"3!" A quick nod.
"2!" He leans down and she can smell the cologne he uses when he goes on a date with someone that he tries to impress or when he tries to get laid. Neither have made it into his schedule as of recently.
"1!" She reaches up onto her tip-toes and crashes their lips together. The kiss is thrilling and hot, and she loves the response she gets from him. It continues longer than the second, but when she pulls away, she offers a confused smile. Bellamy doesn't realize it at first, trying to lean his head down, to press their foreheads together as they reclaim their stolen air, but she pulls away before their skin can touch again.
"I'm sorry," and she looks like she really is. To be fair, Bellamy was expecting rejection, but he really thought tonight was going to be different. But then what she says is a million times worse than what he thought it would be.
"Who are you?"
"...and when the clock struck twelve, I was erased from her memory," Bellamy finishes.