Chapter Text
Julian is in his room. Garak is aware of Julian’s scent before he sees him, his eyes slowly blinking awake in the darkness when he feels the dip of the mattress: the lower left corner to be exact. He’s been having an unusually hot night, which is strange as Garak rarely finds that the temperature even in his quarters ever gets too warm. Still, he’s kicked off the sheets and sits up, looking at Julian seated there appearing oddly... sensual? Garak blinks a few times not sure if his eyes can actually be trusted when he notices that Julian is wearing nothing but a cotton undershirt and those tight fitting dark blue shorts of his. Garak imagines then that Julian has chosen, as he commonly does when in Garak’s quarters, to eschew shoes.
“I’m sorry to wake you, Elim,” Julian whispers in a soft teasing lilt of a voice, “but I was a little concerned about the reports coming from your room from the med bay so I thought I might check in on you.” Garak is sure there’s something not quite right with that as Julian starts slowly crawling up his bed. It takes him a moment to realize it’s the fact that Julian never initiates sexual activity this way. In his defense, he was considerably distracted by Julian’s shirt clinging to him, already covered in a thin sheen of sweat in Garak’s “insufferably muggy swamp of a room”.
“Well,” Garak says, eyes never leaving Julian’s long slender body, “I can certainly think of worse reasons to be woken from what was a rather fitful slumber anyway. But how did you-”
“Emergency medical override,” Julian whispers in a teasing voice usually reserved for intimate moments much further along. Garak can see as his eyes sweep further down that Julian is absolutely aroused, and the moment that thought hits him, that scent hits him thick in the already heavy air. Oh… oh it is that time of the season already? Garak wonders as Julian puts a hand to his bare chest and pushes him back to the pillow. Well that explains a lot but it doesn’t quite explain the-
“I could sense the unusual elevation in your body temperature, Elim,” Julian says as his mouth is sliding over the sensitive skin over the pulse of his neck. Garak shivers again as Julian straddles his thighs. “You were so hot,” Julian breathes, breath ghosting down further, tongue laving around the ridges of his chula, setting off another warm rush deep in his belly, his chest growing hot too. The cause is Julian’s thumb circling the dense scales over his left pectoral, those sensitive nubs prickling eagerly, and he feels his head go back further onto the pillow. Garak is torn between wanting to watch and wanting to shut his eyes and just sink into Julian’s hands. Julian, he’s learned in the last year since The Incident, can play with his body for hours when not in the throes of that heat, can worship every inch of him with that soft mouth, and Garak can feel his toes curl as those scales are worked into rigid excitement.
“I was worried,” Julian teases, and Garak isn’t sure how he even understood him with his tongue playing that dip. The sensation makes his hip twitch beneath Julian’s weight. Garak’s nipples are pushing out prominently amongst those smaller scales, and his mouth falls open as Julian’s hips circle slowly, Julian’s stomach sliding over his slit, that pressure starting to bear down lightly over that sensitive dip right above, causing an unconscious bucking of hips once more followed by a hiss of pleasure.
“I was afraid you’d overheat without me.” Garak is about to overheat with him and he can feel that stirring, that rush of blood as Julian’s mouth moves to his nipple sucking hard. One of Julian’s hands moves back- Garak isn’t sure which- and before Garak can blink again, somehow those shorts are off and that shirt is discarded to some dark distant corner of the room. Another blink, another shaky breath, and Garak can feel Julian’s hard prick pushing against the scales over his hipbone, Julian having slipped his knee between Garak’s legs to straddle his left thigh.
“Julian,” he gasps, feeling the roll of Julian’s hips, hearing Julian purr as skin meets scales, foreskin pushed back, the tip of Julian’s cock painting slick. Garak hears the soft sighs, feels Julian wriggle on him, getting off on just his leg, and Garak just now realizes that he too is naked. He could swear he went to bed fully clothed but-
“Please, may I put it in my mouth, Elim?” Julian begs against his ear with another push into his leg and Julian is always so circumspect with those little entreaties that it absolutely does things to him to be asked such filthy things with that proper Julian speech.
“Of course you may,” he answers, letting his hands come unstuck from the mattress and indulge in a caress of Julian’s soft skin, a squeeze of Julian’s flank, loving the give of that tight tiny ass when he gives a good rough squeeze to it, and Julian’s soft wet panting into his sensitive ear canal is already making him start to evert in spite of himself.
“Not yet… I want to feel it... do that inside,” Julian says before slipping like mercury down, down, practically through Garak’s fingers, that dark crown of hair already between his legs. Julian’s large eyes look up luminously in the dark, promising and lusty. Garak calculates they may be a few days from his cycle give or take but he’s already so much more eager, so wanting with his mouth to Garak’s slit. His naughty tongue flicks over the tip of Garak’s cock just barely a centimeter everted- that tease barely felt to the less sensitive scales- when Julian’s lips press a slow bob, up down, with a sigh engulfing it.
No matter the season, no matter the place, Garak can usually rely on Julian to readily offer his mouth even when not in the mood for other things. He can recall vividly a recent incident in his shop when Julian disappeared down beneath the table while they were both in the back, Garak standing up working on his sketches. Garak had ripped through several sheets of terribly expensive paper, pen snapping, when Julian knelt between his legs and began that slow indulgent suck. He told him later that the feeling of Garak coming to full eversion in his mouth had aroused him so strongly that he had to take himself in hand, and Garak can remember Julian’s mouth tightening almost painfully soon after as he came right there.
Garak groans, swearing softly as Julian’s head bobs with every everted bit of his shaft. Garak feels himself swell, feels his cock leaving warmth for fire, Julian’s mouth a few degrees hotter than normal when about to enter one of his cycles, and Garak’s hips rock, held back down by Julian’s expert hands. It makes him growl in frustration when Julian’s head pulls back to lick, to tease around the ridges of his half everted shaft, the sensitive scales on the sides swelling, Julian’s lips pressing, sucking, drawing those louder “ahs” from him, drawing a hiss with another hard deep suck, and he can feel the tip of his prick starting to hit Julian’s throat. It nearly gags him. He knows now that Julian loves that.
Garak’s hands move to fist hard in the sheets, hips twisting a small measure left and right desperate to thrust, to push, and Julian releases Garak’s left hip just long enough to wordlessly take his wrist and yank his hand to the back of his head. Oh sweet merciful Ancients, Julian is in a mood, and Garak wastes no time putting both hands to that soft curl of hair, careful to maintain control as Julian releases his hips completely. Garak watches Julian’s hands interlock behind his back leaving that sweet hot mouth all his to just use. His cock is fully everted now, swollen, pressing thickly down Julian’s throat. Garak feels the spasms, feels the tight clench as Julian adjusts, Garak himself needing a moment to breathe so he doesn’t just mindlessly release. Julian’s lips tremble around the base of the shaft as if it’s a trial for him to keep his mouth open so wide and Garak can feel the barest scrape of his teeth along those ridges. Oh... oh yesss…
Garak moves, slowly at first hips moving in time with his hands, fucking slow and deep down Julian’s throat. He can feel it close, feel Julian’s careful breaths out his nose, warm on that sensitive divot above his slit, and he feels the gasps, constrictions that again bring him so close to spilling after hardly a minute. He feels Julian start to move his hips again, resuming the drag of prick against scales with more insistence, showing Garak just how much this is turning him on. Garak feels the damp grow, feels frantic grinding down, lovely writhing as Julian’s breaths get more needy, his throat gets tighter and Garak has no idea how he takes every inch down that glorious mouth but he does. He lets Garak use him, Garak feeling that heaviness, that ache, that pulse that Guls makes him thrust harder, deeper, knowing that Julian will give a quick double tap if it gets to be too much.
He doesn’t. Garak hears the high whimpers, can feel Julian half bouncing against him more in earnest, fast, Garak’s hips starting to snap up harder. The first time he couldn’t imagine that Julian could truly derive pleasure from such a rough face fucking, but that first time as Garak released his head, he could see the lust swimming in hazel eyes, face red, mouth slack, spit dribbling down the side along with Garak’s come and a needy look Garak didn’t think was possible outside his cycle. Garak looks down at him just a moment longer, seeing his hands rubbing his forearms, holding tighter, Julian’s entire body tense. Garak lets his head fall back then, surrendering to that sensation, eyes shut, his own breaths catching as he groans, hisses frantically, the bed bouncing beneath them both. His cock bounces to the back of Julian’s throat and he can feel that constriction increase, the pulse squeezing tighter with more urgency.
He lets Julian’s head up whispering that he’s close, that he needs to release in his mouth, feeling a tightness starting to grow between his legs, right at the root of his cock and he allows Julian a moment to catch his breath before he catches a quick nod and whisper of “more”. Garak gives him more, slowly feeding every inch back to him, feeling Julian’s mouth engulf him in heat once more, tip passing from lips back to windpipe, Julian’s throat coming full stop, tight around his cock, halfway down and Garak feels that tightness increase, feel his legs tremble as his hips buck and there’s that spasm of his prick hard, feeling a swell start from the base as he comes down Julian’s throat, letting go and… …and that swell only increases even after he’s sure that he’s peaked, the tight feeling only growing more insistent, nearing pain, almost feel as if he’s about to burst open from the root and-
Garak wakes up with a yell, sitting bolt upright in bed realizing he was dreaming just as he realizes that painful pressure is still there threatening to burst, his pajama bottoms, his sheets already soaked with far more fluid than he ever thought he was capable of producing. What… By the State what is… He hisses as another throb shoots through him part pleasure, part pained as he awkwardly pushes the sticky sheets back down, cursing as he works his pajama bottoms down, feeling them catch on his hard, aching prick, soaked, looking far darker than he thinks is natural. Perhaps the darkness of the room or the- Guls and Ancients, what… Okay, that is not natural. That massive swelling at the base of his cock putting more pressure on his slit than he’s sure he can handle and his eyes catch it almost comically wide. Those are his genitals but that… that thing most certainly does not belong there!
Garak opens his mouth, closes it again, feeling a scream coming as ludicrous as that is hoping that this too is nothing but a dream but finding as he passes out that no, no in fact it is not.
“You’re laughing at me. I know you’re laughing at me, don’t even try to deny it.” Garak hisses the accusation from the hospital bed, legs in stirrups- beneath a sheet for his dignity- to relieve the pressure as Julian turns away from him, hand over his mouth taking a deep breath. Of course he’s laughing at him. How could he not laugh at the sight of Garak laying there indignantly like he’s about to give birth while simultaneously sporting the most ridiculous erection that Julian has ever seen in his life? And given Julian’s rather colorful past, that’s quite saying something there. Nurse Jabara had come in to see what all the commotion was after security had brought Garak in with a fantastic amount of stoicism. She’d taken one look at the scene, gave Julian a look and merely said “well, I suppose I can see why you need those periodic days off now.”
Julian had never been more thankful in his life that he wasn’t predisposed to blushing or else he’d have turned a bright red, his face heating up with that one. He then spent a good half hour keeping any spectators away because someone somewhere couldn’t keep their mouth shut about the “Thirty Centy Cardie Sausage”. Julian has no idea who coined that phrase but he discovered it was futile trying to point out that while it was a rather impressive specimen it wasn’t anywhere near thirty centimeters. He was still the chief medical officer and did still have work to do. Garak had been in a great deal of discomfort when he came back to consciousness and Julian made sure they were quick to give him a shot with the hypospray after that. It didn’t help the swelling- going on three hours according to Garak’s account- but Garak assured him that he was blissfully free of the pain although he did express concern that he couldn’t feel anything.
“I’m not laughing,” Julian says, turning back around, the soul of professionalism as he avoids looking anywhere near that sheet, thanking Jadzia over his COM as she finishes sending him the data that he’d requested. Not anymore, at least. Actually, at first Julian had been terrified when he saw Garak’s unconscious body being carried in. It followed once the security in his room had been triggered and they found him lying on the floor. That terror was quickly brought to heel by his deeply ingrained sense of professionalism as he set to work in his analysis and diagnosis having an odd suspicion as he did so. He’s spent the last year with Garak and Jadzia’s help working harder to research the nature of his odd secondary “enhancements” along with any leads on the nature of the race that his genes were modified from. He wasn’t surprised to learn that those cells were incredibly adaptable and uniquely able to mold and replicate vital portions of host DNA. That adaptability resulted in a fortunately seamless cosmetic integration which allowed for Julian’s completely human outward appearance.
It wasn’t until one started digging deeper into the nature of the cells and the genetic material that one could see an almost viral ability to replicate when certain conditions arose, and even over time the adaptation of certain organs and other reproductive changes. Said research resulted in him panicking for about a week when he feared that he’d end up altered to the point of being able to carry a child; he refused to let Garak so much as hold his hand. Needless to say, he was endlessly relieved to find that while said cells were incredibly resourceful- the embarrassing wetness that had increased during his cycles for example, was a slight alteration and increase of rectal mucous and thankfully wasn’t the result of an infection or other medical malady- they couldn’t create what just wasn’t there. But they were also oddly capable of “infecting” a host if present in enough volume and Julian did experience a great deal of guilt when he realized that the change in his and Garak’s relationship might result in a... change to Garak as well with enough of an exchange of genetic material.
Julian didn’t particularly think that Garak was taking the matter terribly seriously when he’d proposed an old barrier method of protection and Garak refused outright. Garak had said dismissively that he’d dealt with far worse than a few extraneous cells and that he’d already had an abundance of “insidious lizard DNA” so what was a little more? Julian couldn’t exactly get him to budge on the matter or even agree to any sort of periodic testing so instead he continued his research keeping as best a visual monitor as he could. After a year he’d started to grow complacent, thinking that perhaps Garak was right and he was simply overreacting. Sure, Garak may have grown a bit more irritable, a bit more possessive when his cycle approached but Julian just supposed that was normal given the shift in their relationship. He also noticed that Garak had gained an amazing amount of stamina, even compared with before and well if that was going to be the result of a little microchimerism, then who was he to interfere with science?
Alright, so as a doctor it was his responsibility to be monitoring these things more carefully, but he’s had a lot on his mind as he’s had to adjust his thinking, his idea on his own sexuality and person. It was one thing, after all, to let Garak take over, to simply go along with that heat when it arose, to surrender without thought. It’s entirely different to take charge, to reconcile the fact that h’s the one reaching over on the couch while they’re reading next to each other and put a hand on Garak’s thigh. It’s Julian who gives a squeeze, heart racing with anticipation, clears his throat- nervously at first- and asks if he might kiss him. Garak seems amused that Julian always asks. Even now Julian won’t do more than brush his hand, give a clasp of his shoulder, or some other subtle touch without asking first. Garak had let him know that Julian could consider his permission implicit but… but there’s just something about that ritual, about that asking “might I begin?” that allows him to turn the overthinking part of his brain off.
That’s to say nothing of the growing conflict with the Dominion either, the conflict with the Klingon Empire, nearly losing the station itself just to touch off. They’ve all been run ragged these last few months and so perhaps Julian’s research has been forced to the back burner but surely Garak won’t hold that against him?
“You are absolutely laughing,” Garak insists, petulantly holding out a hand for Julian to take. Julian does and gives a little squeeze of reassurance as he reads over the report. It doesn’t seem to be looking terribly promising.
“Perhaps just a little bit,” he admits and refrains from pointing out that Garak as well is partially to blame with such a cavalier attitude towards safe sex though Julian is hardly in a position to lecture there. Actually, now that he thinks about it the periodic cases that he sees in the infirmary coupled with this incident make him wonder if it wouldn’t be a good idea to hold an important in service on the important of practicing safe and responsible intercourse.
Right, because Keiko’s school went over so brilliantly with the Bajoran conservatives let’s just go ahead and throw more accelerant on that particular fire. Still, he makes a note to consult with Nurse Jabara in the upcoming days… No, scratch that, his cycle is fast approaching so it would be best if he added that to his calendar for two weeks from today instead. He’s fortunate that having finally acquired the Loperamide that he’s been able to ride out the worst of the symptoms with far more grace but Garak isn’t the only one who’s had some unfortunate sexual side effects from their relationship. In the past he was dulled to the point where he could ignore those stirrings as uncomfortable though they were and the physiological effects were nearly non existent. However he’s noticed a higher cell count distribution in certain ah… channels than ever before and the result has been well… All Julian can really say is that it’s probably a good thing that he didn’t actually try and “quit Garak cold turkey”. When apart, he can nearly function to normal levels (though he still gets plenty of push back on the pheromones in tighter quarters from everyone else) but when he’s around Garak…
Right on cue, he looks down and sees that his thumb is slowly circling Garak’s hand and now that it’s been brought back to his attention he can feel his pulse start to pick up a bit. Well, he supposes he ought to be thankful that their cycles are just about synced. Oh… Oh he did not just start lumping Garak in with him having these cycles now too. Garak is already reading the change in his expression far too shrewdly and he carefully pulls his hand back to allow Julian to fully focus on the issue at hand.
“Far be it for me to question your bedside manner, my dear but I might advise not wearing bad news on your face so plainly.” Julian smiles in response though he’s sure it’s far too late.
“Bad news?” he asks and Garak just sighs at him. “Right,” Julian concedes. “Though I wouldn’t say it’s bad merely… different.”
“While I would normally applaud your newfound attempts to be circumspect, I’d rather know what I’m dealing with, doctor.”
Oh, we’re back to doctor now, well ouch there. Julian makes another diversionary study of the PADD. There’s really only so long that he can drag this out. He’s already reread the words, seen the reports from the simulation models both he and Jadzia have run, hell he even found a way to contact Dr. Lense on the Lexington to get a second opinion. Her recent work on mitochondrial disease was groundbreaking and her thoughts on the matter- though he may have had to fib a bit on the exact details of certain things- were key in filling in a lot of the blanks. But it really only came down to one conclusion and now that it’s graduated from possibility to certainty Julian is wishing he’d actually bothered to rehearse it. He clears his throat buying himself another few seconds.
“Julian,” Garak begins looking anything but amused. Julian takes a deep breath.
“Alright, well you remember the talk you and Jadzia had about microchimerism and the ah… ha… the impracticality of such a thing well… funny thing about impossibilities you know they say nothing is really impossible per se, rather it’s a figure of speech and a… oh bollocks.” Julian runs fingers through his hair with a hard breath out. “So it would appear that my genetic material has unfortunately latched onto yours and created some irreversible side effects.” Minus the benefit of enhanced reflexes and intellect but you know, funny thing, science.
Garak stares at him hard and Julian supposes that bit was rather obvious so he just plows right along headfirst.
“Of course being that you’re Cardassian and not human the effects are quite different than mine. So I can absolutely assure you that you won’t have the same er… heats manifesting in this um… need to be on the receiving end of ah… well you know of that,” Julian finishes lamely and again Garak isn’t looking terribly impressed by all of this. “Did you… have any questions so far?” Julian asks cautiously, taking an unconscious step back.
Garak is unusually quiet a moment, having stopped staring at Julian, instead looking down to the large tent still pushing the sheet comically skyward. If nothing else, Julian is sure that the numbing agent is still in effect or else Garak wouldn’t be nearly as calm as he is now.
“Continue, please,” is all he says in answer and Julian really doesn’t like that disconnected tone. He wonders if lover or not if there isn’t some Obsidian order protocol about to activate and cause Garak to murder everyone in the room. Well, everyone being him since all of the nurses had their fill of gawking and have since resumed their duties; he makes a note to have a little chat about that as well since Cardassian or not, Garak should be afforded the same dignity as their other patients. Alright, Julian, Garak isn’t going to murder you. If he hasn’t already with everything that’s happened around here the last few years what’s a little… Julian completes a bit of a mental “gulp” at that. …a little nonconsensual body modification.
“So,” Julian continues adopting his most solicitous and professional tone. “I’ll ask you to look at the screen here so I can show you a visual.” He brings up the scans showing Garak’s unfortunate malady from the inside out. “As you can see here at the base here there’s a significant amount of swelling or as we would use to describe the phenomenon in layman’s terms amongst relevant organisms, a “knot”…”
“A knot,” Garak repeats face like a storm cloud. Julian doesn’t even need to look to see that expression. It’s odd as Garak isn’t usually quite this prone to fits of outward anger and aggression but of course that’s a part of it as well.
“Right and that’s where the discomfort is coming from. You know of course that the male Cardassian anatomy has the ah ajan I believe you call it or this slit here where allows for eversion of the prUt or what we would call the penis. The issue is that scales around the opening aren’t as flexible as human dermal tissue so it’s causing an unnatural stretching which is in turn causing pain. You can see the size of the knot is nearly one and a half times the circumference of the shaft.” Julian points somewhat stupidly since anyone looking can see it plainly.
There’s another silence from Garak. Even with that silence, Julian can just feel that aggression and anger pooling back to the surface though Garak is doing an admiral job so far of maintaining control. He’d hate to think of Garak truly out of control remembering too well that incident with his implant.
“So we… we ah…” Julian soldiers on with a breath. “So we had to make a decision to stop the pain since you were in a great deal of it,” Julian is sure to emphasize. “It wasn’t possible to consult with you and we can absolutely reverse the procedure but we did have to perform surgery to enlarge the opening. There was already tearing and you have my word that the procedure was a success and should not in any way interfere with normal biological functions-”
“I would not call this a “normal biological function”, doctor,” Garak hisses at him from the bed, indicating his lap. That hiss makes Julian’s chest chill with a cool that he can only describe as nervous, as a slight tremor of fear. Julian isn’t sure why since fear is hardly a response that comes very readily to him; he’s had to feign it in a lot of cases or risk exposing himself and he’s always chalked it up to part of his enhancements.
He tamps it down, reminding himself that it’s just Garak beneath it all and he’s got every right to be angry.
“Poor choice of words,” he mumbles. “And the procedure is completely reversible though I would advise again reversing it at this time as the main issue is still prevalent.” Honestly, Julian isn’t so sure that the microchimerism can be reversed but he isn’t so quick to give up without even trying. His enhancements are a different case than Garak’s unfortunate cellular assimilation so he thinks possibly with Jadzia and Dr. Lense’s help there may be some sort of solution. “May” is the operative word here, but he’s not about to say that now. “I can only imagine how… difficult this is-”
“Do you, doctor? Do you really?” Garak snaps at him. “Or are you simply standing there feigning empathy while secretly enjoying the fact that after years of taking advantage of you that I’ve finally received my comeuppance?!” Julian feels that odd sensation again though he recognizes it’s not exactly “fear” but rather a… deference… a need to supplicate himself, to offer apologies and well that’s... different. So then it seems that now Julian’s also going to be affected by Garak’s emotional states? Lovely, Julian thinks drily.
“I think once you’re back in your right frame of mind,” Julian forces himself to answer coolly, “You’ll realize how ridiculous you sound. Shall I continue or would you rather sit there and stare a hole in my head?”
“I’d rather…” Garak stops himself, shaking his head with a pained hiss. “I’m sorry, my dear. I don’t know what’s come over me. There’s an unfortunate feeling come over me and I can’t quite place it.” Julian does give him a sympathetic look at that but remains careful not to touch him. He turns off the screen.
“I understand, and for what it’s worth I truly am sorry. If I’d any idea that this would happen if we… if I ah… you… you know.” He still can’t properly say it which is ludicrous since he has the ‘sex talk” with his patience on a regular basis. He’s also glad that Garak hasn’t asked him why of all the numerous partners Julian’s had over the years outside of his cycles that there were no similar effects. Because then Julian would have to reiterate that Garak was the only one stupid enough not to want to use protection.
“You were telling me the rest of this delightfully maudlin tale,” Garak prompts, face, neck looking slightly damp. Cardassians don’t tend to perspire the same as humans so Julian was mildly concerned at first but realizes when he observed the darkened ridges, the darker gray of Garak’s skin and the slightly blue tint to those little dips that it was merely another extension of cycle induced arousal. Now that’s a good term for it for him and Garak both. It’s clean, clinical, and doesn’t force his partially dormant biology to think too hard on what it’s witnessing.
“Yes, so you know how much I’ve been working on trying to find more information on the nature of my ah… biology and though I haven’t been able to devote a lot of study, I believe we’ve actually a fair idea of what’s gone on and what to expect.”
He stops and Garak motions for him to continue. Julian is halfway across the room now and that brief bit of distance seems to have helped for the time being. Julian doesn’t anticipate that will hold the closer the apex of his cycle comes- they very well might need to be several rooms apart if they’re not. Don’t think about it. He doesn’t dare.
“So the cells have reacted far different to your biology than min and it’s resulted in your changes reflecting the more dominant er… gender isn’t exactly an accurate term as I believed the host race to be intersexed. We’ve been using “designation” by default but that may change the more we discover for unknown Perseus race p38 as we refer to them in our studies. But in any case the changes to your body have been gradual believe it or not. There’s been an increase in aggression, an increase in drive, I’ve observed a definite increase in stamina and well as you can see, the result is what we’ve estimated is a climactic period lasting several hours and ah…”
Okay, clinical detachment is definitely faltering here. “There’s a significant increase in the production of semen as well. There’s a condom catheter collecting it now,” Julian says, feeling a bit of a flush to his face even if his face doesn’t reflect it terribly strongly. Garak looks as if he might dare a peek but then drops his hand back down. Julian doesn’t blame him. “There was quite a bit you see,” He can’t help it. He thinks about it. He doesn’t know why he thinks about it, but he does and he told himself he wasn’t going to but there it is after all these hours of detached professional work, he takes one damn look at Garak as he’s speaking and he can just imagine that thick knot locking into his body, trapping him, Garak spilling into him over and over and… Oh no… no no no…
Julian can feel tightness in his jaw and a slow heat start to pool in his belly and he breathes out slowly. He’s usually fairly regular but there have been… incidents which have triggered certain processes early so he would do well to keep himself under control.
“So… so we’ve estimated that it will continue in ah…” he coughs. “…in spurts until the swelling subsides and your erection fades which should be any moment now. It won’t… It won’t hurt once the feeling returns because of the procedure. We were able to heal every up quite efficiently. As for the next time it occurs-” Which he doesn’t have to say will surely be sooner rather than later with him about to- he really doesn’t want to say go into heat but as long as it’s been, it would be rather foolhardy to not just call it for what it is.
“The next time it occurs it will likely feel… intense but not unpleasant.” He doesn’t imagine that to be much consolation and Garak is once again silent and thoughtful. Julian doesn’t need to explain that it’s always going to be like this until such time they’re able to reverse it. That’s fairly obvious.
“I see,” is all Garak says at last. His tone is deceptively calm and measured.
“Did you have any questions? I’ll do as best as I can to answer them but honestly a lot of this has been a discovery process for me too. I’ve only ever been on the other end of all this so… um… can’t say as to which I’d prefer to be honest but I swear we’re going to get to working on this as soon as possible.”
“Will that be before or after you throw yourself across my shop table at me with your hindquarters in the air and your tail wagging?” Garak asks glibly with just a bit of a waspish hint.
“I’m not an animal, Garak!” Julian snaps back angrily. Garak is always so good at knowing what pushes his buttons and Julian still falls for it every time.
“Forgive me, doctor,” and now they’re back to “doctor” once more. “I may have been confused since the biological processes you’ve described are more akin to a riding hound than to a sentiment Cardassian male!”
Julian doesn’t flinch at the raised tone. That’s not what it is at all. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t cower in fear of that tone, but his body stops. He can feel himself entering some hyperawareness of Garak’s emotional state, needing to determine what will calm him down. Well this is certainly going to be fun. Simon says “stop”. Simon says stare stupidly at your lover. Ah Simon didn’t say so, pity. Julian can see where Garak might mistake it for fear though. One doesn’t spend such a large portion of their life as an infamous sadistic interrogator without knowing that recoil and that sense of unease. Truth be told, at the moment it’s far better to have Garak think that’s what it is because it immediately makes him stop and calm down.
“Julian?” he asks concerned. Garak is well aware that Julian has, as he says at times “more guts than brains”, and he must recognize how unusual a reaction it is. But more than that, it would seem that Garak is also immediately hyperaware of him as well in nearly the same manner. In fact Julian almost thinks there’s some… scent that he can almost... he sticks his tongue out subtly, Garak’s eyes still catch the motion, showing a curious flicker. Yes, there’s something there. Garak is aware of it too, tongue a mimic, and after a moment and it leaves the both of them staring at each other long and hard.
“Well,” Julian starts neutrally. “This is new.” Understatement of the century, Julian. He wants to take a step closer but the risk of setting something off is far too real. He does anyway. “You’re upset,” Julian offers cautiously, holding up a hand when the snippy rejoinder is ready on Garak’s tongue. “I mean you smell upset, you taste upset. Do you-”
“Yes,” Garak croaks out looking something akin to shellshocked.
“I... do you want me to stay here with you or do you need some time to process... everything?” Julian sure as hell needs time. He thought that he’d gotten a handle on everything, he thought he finally understood everything his body was going to do to him since meeting Garak but this level of intimacy is scaring the hell out of him right now and-
“Julian,” Garak says with a wince and Julian realizes that emotion is somehow manifesting in a fresh wave right to Garak’s senses.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I was doing that.” He sees Garak wave him over and he goes to him, letting himself be pulled to Garak’s chest. That feels nice. It feels safe. It’s actually a relief to be close to Garak just for comfort like this. “Thank you,” he whispers, “but I’m the doctor here, I should be the one putting you at ease.”
“You do,” Garak assures him and it’s likely a lie but it’s a nice lie. “I have every confidence in your abilities, Julian,” Garak says moving Julian’s arms from his sides so that he’s embracing him back, before Julian can ask if it’s alright. Julian holds him tightly, thankful that at least for now there’s nothing being triggered beyond a deep sense of contentment and along with that, a wonder that such a feeling should have come about in such a strange manner. Perhaps this is the missing part of the equation all along. God, this is far too much for him to process. Julian shuts his eyes, inhaling Garak’s scent deeply. He isn’t sure how long the two of them remain like that although they aren’t interrupted for any of his later appointments so he doesn’t imagine it’s that long.
And then he hears Garak suck in a sharp breath, causing him to lift his head and see the brilliant blue of his chufa Well, it was long enough for the feeling to start to return to his lower half at least. A wry smile crosses his face at that.
“Well, I’m glad that one of us does.”