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Laurent had his bad days. Days where all he could think of were the hands of his Uncle. Days like these were typically spent in the bath, furiously rubbing at himself until his pale skin turned scarlet.
But now he had Damen. If this was for better or worse he couldn’t decide yet. Damen had yet to see him on a bad day and it frightened Laurent to think he could be rejected by his lover. That Damen might decide he doesn’t love him and that his life was better spent alone in Akeilos with a multitude of slaves to pleasure him in all the ways Laurent wasn’t able.
So as Laurent awakes from a nightmare that was indeed a memory, he finds the weight of Damen’s skin against his own all too familiar. Laurent is frozen for a moment, repeating to himself that his Uncle is dead and it is not his flesh he feels against his backside. That he is not a child anymore and that Damen loves him. But it all seems out of reach.
He all too roughly jumps out of bed and runs to the adjourning bathroom. His back against the door he slides to the floor and draws his knees to his chest. Laurent tries to calm himself by the matter of breathing deeply but every breath he takes he can feel his Uncle’s hands traveling down his body.
Then, suddenly, there’s a knock on the door and he jumps. “Laurent? Are you ok?” It’s Damen. Of course it is, who else was he expecting?
“I’m fine. Go back to bed.” His voice is shaky, even to his own ears. If he knows Damen as well as he thinks he does, Laurent knows he won’t buy it. But he can’t allow Damen to see him like this. It would be too much.
“I’m just a little ill. Really I’m fine.” He continues. Laurent can’t allow himself to ruin the one solid thing in his life. The one thing that’s meant anything to him since his brother. He tries to think of his brother’s voice to calm him down, always steady.
“Can I come in?” Damen asks softly.
"No!” Laurent responds too forcefully. Damen’s not stupid, by now he’s surely realized somethings wrong. “I-I… I just,” Laurent lays his head against his knees and tries to think. About anything other than his Uncle sliding against him. Whispering in his ear that it’s our little secret.
“I just want it to stop.” It’s barely a whisper but he knows Damen heard it.