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I wake up to the feeling of being incredibly hot; I'm still groggy, trying to rub the sleep from my eyes. I don’t immediately recognize the room, the ceiling partially covered in multicolored lights and the walls decorated with unfamiliar posters. I then realize that I am not in my bed, and that I’m still at Nonon’s house. I palm the sheets next to me and feel that she is still there, snoozing softly. I squeeze her hand without waking her up and grab my bra and underwear, getting dressed to venture out into the hallway and look for a bathroom. I put on my jeans and find a random baggy shirt of Nonon’s and figure what the hell, no one will care and I’m fucking hot, and then as quietly as possible open the door and meander into the dimly lit hall. I turn and stumble into a hulking figure, who I assume must be Sanageyama since I don’t recognize him. He’s tall, but not quiet as tall as Gamagori, and also has dyed hair, his being a dark green.
“Jesus, are you trying to scare the living daylights out of me?” I demand, trying to cover my sudden fright with a tough front.
“Sorry, didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to walk around my own house,” he replies, quietly laughing at himself.
“Seriously, your hair is dyed too? Did you guys lose a bet or something?” I ask, gesturing in the direction of his head. Sanageyama makes a loud buzzer sound in response.
“ERRRRRRRNNNT. No, we didn’t lose a bet, but good guess,” he snorts, laughing. Is this guy for real?
“Uh, ok, I was just trying to find a bathroom.”
“Second door on the right. Hope you like messy,” I shrug and push past him, opening the door and indeed finding it to indeed be messy, but that kind of crap doesn’t bother me anyway. I quickly pee and as I wash my hands, staring at my eyes in the mirror, deep in thought, until I hear a pounding beat coming from the opposite direction of Nonon’s room. Curious, I maneuver my way through the hall out to a deck, finding Sanageyama sitting there, blasting music to the whole neighborhood, smoking out of a huge hookah.
“Why Matoi, please join me,” he says, gesturing to the empty seat next to him. I sit down, wishing I had my sweater—I feel goosebumps rise on my arms—but I’m determined to not look like a baby in front of this dude, who is in a tank top. I sit next to him and he offers me the hose, so I inhale deeply and blow smoke rings in his face.
“What flavor is this?” I ask, sucking in again.
“Fuzzy navel,” Sanageyama responds. “Don’t be a hog, pass it son.” My face twitches at being called son, but I hand it over anyway. He smiles and takes it from me, and proceeds to inhale and blow double rings, smirking as he shows me up. I glare, and make grabby-hands for him to give me the hose. He does, and I take as big a hit as I can and try to waterfall it off the adjacent table; however, I end up drooling in the process. I quickly recover as Sanageyama laughs his ass off at me, and to be honest, I can’t help but smile along in response.
“Here, wait, this one is called the delta. I made it up myself,” I say, taking more smoke into my mouth. I lean over so I’m parallel to the table and release the smoke as slowly as I can, making it glide across the table.
“Thats just a waterfall without the actual waterworks,” he says, chuckling at my expense.
“Hey, I think it’s pretty badass, so shut the fuck up loser,” I say, my tone joking.
“This is nice, normally only the Troll smokes with me. Ira’s too much of a stuck-up prick and Houka is too busy doing whatever the fuck he does online. You’re more fun than the Troll.”
“I guess I’ll take that as a compliment.” I smile at him. “Wait, you call Nonon the Troll?” I ask, quirking my brow.
“Haha, yeah, she fucking hates it,” Sanageyama says smugly, clearly proud of the nickname.
“I’m sure it works out well for you,” I say, apprehensive.
“Like that shrimp could ever do anything to me. I’m not afraid of her. The only sharp object in her arsenal is her tongue.”
“I suppose,” I say, clearly not convinced.
“Did you know that she plays the tuba? Like, seriously, a giant fucking tuba that’s practically twice her size,” he says, and I have no problem imaging her playing the tuba.
“It sounds just like her, to be honest,” I reply, laughing.
“Hey, I have an idea, and maybe you’d be game for it. So the Troll has band practice all the time, and one of these days, I’m just gonna show up in the back of the room without her realizing and toss as many jellybeans as I can into the bell,” he says with a conniving grin on his face. I laugh out loud despite myself. “Neither of our roommates have the balls to get up and do it with me, they’re either afraid or don’t want to cause any trouble,” he says with a girlish imitation when he refers to Inumuta and Gamagori.
“Dude, count me in!” I say, and slap him a high five. Sanageyama and I are bent over laughing as Nonon walks outside, not wearing any pants—she’s in my sweater, and it goes halfway down her thighs she’s so small.
“What are the two of you laughing about?” she asks, clearly suspicious.
“Nothing!” Sanageyama and I both shout simultaneously, and Nonon grabs and pulls at my ear in attempt to get me to spill the beans.
“Ow, hey seriously, cut it out—it was nothing!” Nonon frowns and gives up, clearly deeming it not worth the effort.
“Please don’t tell me you guys are hitting it off,” Nonon sighs, and I smile in return.
“I like him,” I say, grinning at Sanageyama and throwing my arm around his shoulder. “I can see the beginning of a beautiful friendship here.” He laughs and plays along, also wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
“Look, the Troll, we’re perfect together,” he says, grinning. Nonon just rolls her eyes and motions for Sanageyama to give her the hose. He does, and I suddenly get into the song we’re listening to.
“Hey what is this?” I ask Sanageyama as Nonon inhales and lets the smoke just fall out of her mouth.
“This is the Tritonal remix of Zedd’s Find You,” he answers, raising his eyebrow. “You dig this?”
“Yeah, totally,” I say, “this is sick!” Sanageyama smiles and delves into song recommendations.
“Well, if you like this you should check out The Chainsmokers, they have this awesome remix of Dreaming by Smallpools…"
Sanageyama, Nonon and I sit outside and smoke for a while, and even though I’m cold, I feel perfectly content. Sangeyama goes on and on about the music he listens to, and at one point I actually grab my phone out of my pants pocket to start writing down names. Nonon leaves to grab a bottle of jack, and then we’re all doing shots, smoking and laughing at our own stupidity.
“No, no, seriously,” Sanageyama says as Nonon and I are hunched over laughing, “I swear, Ira has this huge crush on this little coconut headed chick that was in his ethics class,” he says, breathless.
“Hey, hey, I know that little coconut headed chick!” I say, standing up to emphasize my point. “Seriously, she’s my roommate, she’s just studying abroad in Japan this semester, I swear! Her name is Mako.”
“I can’t even picture them together, Ira is like seven feet tall and she's, well, averaged sized,” he says back, laughing. Nonon just shakes her head, but I can tell that underneath it she’s smiling. I’m pretty sure I hear a voice over the music, and then I realize that Gamagori is in the front yard, shouting up at us.
“Matoi, Jakuzure, Sanageyama, it’s two in the morning, please turn off the music and go inside!”
“Psh, listen toad, it’s a Friday night, we can stay up as late as we want, so why don’t you loosen up and drink with us!” Nonon shouts back, waving the half-empty bottle of jack around. Sanageyama is on his feet, singing along to a remix of Summertime Sadness.
“This song won a grammy, fuckface!” Sanageyama adds, “Don’t stop the music! Nonon’s with me here.” Sanageyama gestures to Nonon, who completely denies any solidarity with him. Unfazed, he keeps dancing, and once the beat drops, I find myself on my feet too, dancing like a lunatic. Fuck it.
I try and get Nonon to join, but she’s not having it, and just rolls her eyes at us. “You know, one day you’re going to roll your eyes at me and find that they're stuck in the back of your head, and you’ll have no one to blame but yourself,” I say to her, stumbling as I’m trying to dance and talk at the same time. Sanageyama laughs but Nonon gives no reaction whatsoever. “Come on, lighten up!” Nonon grits her teeth at that and one of her brows twitch, but she still stays firmly planted in her seat. Rather than argue with her, I walk up and put my hands on both her shoulders, leaning down so I’m in her face. “Dance with me, Nonon.” Nonon turns her head away from my alcohol-infused breath, still denying me.
“Listen, slacker, I don’t dance, ok?” she says, practically hissing me at.
“What? Everyone can dance,” I respond, bewildered. “Look, I’m up here, not giving two shits how stupid I look, having a blasty-blast. Get off your ass and dance.”
“No.”
“Yes.”
“No.”
“Dance!”
“No!”
“Nononononononon,” I say, slurring my words, “get up and dance!” I pull her to her feet, and she wasn’t ready for it, so she collides with my body. I grin and hold her against me, my hands locked around her wrists as she struggles to escape. “You no longer have an option. You’re dancing with me whether you like it or not!” Nonon grunts in defiance and gives me one final push, which barely loosens my grip on her, and sighs in defeat.
“Fine. I suppose I’m dancing.” Sanageyama hollers in agreement, and rushes over to his docked iPod.
“Here, the Troll, I’ll put on something special,” Sanageyama says with a devious grin, wagging his eyebrows. Curious, Nonon and I wait patiently, one hand still gripping her wrist while I simultaneously grab the bottle and do a quick shot. I release Nonon momentarily to let her do one too, and then the music starts. Nonon recognizes the song immediately and groans. It takes me a little longer, but as soon as the second beat layers over the first, I smile wide.
“Avicii? I Could Be The One?” Sanageyama and I slap hands again, laughing, and I start dancing. “How did you know that this song is my jam?”
“Pretty sure it’s impossible to hate this song,” he replies, chuckling.
“You two are the biggest losers I know,” Nonon sighs, rolling her eyes, but plays along anyway, facing me as she rocks her hips. “Seriously? Do you have any control of your limbs, slacker? You look like you’re having a fit.” I stare back at Nonon, eyes narrowed.
“I told you I don’t care.”
“How am I supposed to dance with you when I’m also concerned for the safety of all involved parties?” I’m ready to argue with her, but then the lyrics start, and I instead ignore her completely. I sing along, exaggerating my words and staring at Nonon.
“Do you think about me when you’re all alone? The things we used to do we used to be? I could the one to make you feel that way; I could be the one to set you freeee!” Nonon tries to suppress the grin on her face, but I get her to sing the second half of the chorus with me, and then the bridge hits and I’m dancing around like a madman. Nonon is trying to copy my movements and dance with me, but I’m too out of it to pay her any mind. From the corner of my eye I see Sanageyama also flailing wildly; I’m laughing, the world is spinning around me, and it hits me—I’m drunk, really drunk, and nothing good comes from me being drunk. But that thought fails to completely process, and I push it to the back of my mind. At this point, Gamagori flings open the sliding glass door, and turns the music off himself.
“Hey, hey, I was listening to that!” Sanageyama cries, lunging towards the speakers, but Gamagori has the iPod in his hands.
“It’s pushing three, and if you don’t quiet down we’re going to get complaints from the neighbors—I insist you go inside and go to bed!” Gamagori yells back. He and Sanageyama go at it, and Nonon in the confusion grabs the bottle and my hand, leading me past the arguing boys and back to her room.
“Shhh,” she whispers, bringing her finger to her mouth even though she is still holding the bottle, and I giggle at how stupid it looks. This time, I throw Nonon into her room, taking the bottle from her hand. I lean it back and drink for as long as I can manage, and then proceed to shove Nonon into the wall, making the dresser rattle. I don’t recognize the look in Nonon’s eyes, but I can tell its different than before. A switch has flipped inside me, and now, I'm in control.
I pass Nonon the bottle one last time, and she finishes it off, draining the last of the whiskey. She tosses it to the floor and then takes off the sweater, leaving her in just her bra and panties, and I follow her lead, pulling off my own jeans, stumbling. I don't even bother with the shirt, instead, I slam into Nonon, pressing her against the wall with my elbows above my head, hands splayed out against the drywall. I hover above her mouth for an instant before I lean in and kiss her, and she kisses me back wholeheartedly. I take no time in pressing my hips against her—Nonon moves with me, grinding against my thigh, and I grunt in response. I drop one of my arms and drag my fingers down Nonon's side, pressing into her ribcage, pausing on her hip. I move away from her mouth and start kissing her neck, sucking on the skin where her earlobe meets her jaw. I feel Nonon shiver beneath me, and it catches me off guard. Do I really have that kind of power, that kind of effect on another person? I push the errant thought to the back of my mind subconsciously. My fingers dance across her pelvic bone, making their way to her crotch. I don't know where my urgency comes from, but it pushes me to dip below her panties and run my index finger over her sensitive skin. Nonon lets out a sharp breath in response—I doubt she expected my boldness, and to be honest, I don't know where it's coming from either. Whatever it is that's driving me, I'm not letting go of it, although I have a somewhat sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I continue despite myself, working my hand beneath Nonon's underwear to get better access. Even though I've never fingered another girl before, I take all the experience of what has been done to me and use it on Nonon. I feel her hands, one gripping my hair, the other clutching my back—even though I'm wearing her shirt, I can still feel her nails digging into my back—and the pressure eggs me on. I abandon the gentle ghost touches and quickly insert a finger, and Nonon gasps. I carefully work a second and third inside, waiting as she adjusts. Once she nods, giving me free reign, I start a slow motion, gradually gaining momentum. Nonon starts rocking her hips into my hand, groaning at the effort, and so I move my other hand down and start rubbing her clit. Nonon moans and leans her head into my shoulder, letting out short throaty breaths as I both thrust my fingers and work her clit. "Ryuko," Nonon whispers against my chest, so softly I barely hear it, and I shiver as I feel Nonon arch her back into me and orgasm. I wait until her body is done moving and slowly remove my fingers, and I don't know why, but I stare into her eyes as I lick my fingers clean. She grabs the hand in my mouth and pulls it to her face, kissing the back of my hand.
My body has completely cooled off, so I pick Nonon up in my arms and throw her into bed, quickly plopping down right next to her. Our faces are close, so close I can both smell the alcohol and feel the warmth of her breath. "That was.. unexpected," Nonon whispers, tone apprehensive.
"Huh?" I say back, barely able to focus on her words I'm so tired.
"You fingering me?" Nonon questions. "That was completely out of nowhere. I thought you said you have never even kissed a girl before me?"
"Yeah, I wasn't lying," I say, voice slow and slurred. "Just because I've never kissed a girl before you doesn't mean a girl has never fingered me."
"Wait, what?" Nonon asks, brows raised.
"You aren't the first person to finger me," I say, not understanding what part of the picture she's missing here. "I just remembered what's been done to me and did it to you."
"But, wait, who on earth would have fingered you and then didn't even kiss you?" she asks. In that moment of drunken clarity, I realize what's missing, why Nonon is so confused, and I remember. How could I forget that, just because I'm drunk? I instantly tear up, and Nonon is clearly surprised at the change of events. Slowly, I see a look of realization in Nonon's eyes, and her face in turn matches the look of horror I'm sure I wear.
"Ryuko, what happened to you?" She asks, voice small. But I don't answer her, instead, the world spins around me, and I feel myself slipping from consciousness.
"I'll tell you... tomorrow." I grumble, turning away from her and pressing my hands to my forehead, letting the tears fall down my cheeks. Nonon doesn't move for a moment, until I feel her hug me from behind, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"You don't have to tell me," she says into my neck, and I grit my teeth to try and get control of the waterworks.
"I'm fine," I say, and before Nonon can get a word in edgewise I add, "I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?" I feel Nonon nod into my back, and I finally fade away into black.