Work Text:
Bucky’s hands rested on the bedframe, holding himself to dear life while Sam pounded into him from behind. His hands kept the soldier’s hips steady when he needed them to and made them join in the movements with that same mindset, and it was a form of control Bucky never knew would actually enjoy. In fact, Sam somehow managed to make him lose his own name in such a drunk way, with sweet-talking and determined caresses, that he had more than once found himself begging for his touch, breathing out in pain for his aching member.
This time, though, he hadn’t made it slow. Bucky had initiated the approach, and Sam simply went with it, at Bucky’s rhythm and pace, until he had him against the pillows, needing more and so much more. Barnes was surprised now, receiving such an amount of pleasure that he thought he wasn’t even allowed to feel that way, but feeling ravished and fulfilled to an extent where he couldn’t stop moaning out.
Sam, on his part, enjoyed Bucky’s noises so much he paid very close attention to whatever nonsense came out of his mouth, no matter how lost he was in his own pleasure. It was when the cursing became Sam’s name and his name became pet names and those pet names became a very compromising phrase that his mind took the lustful words seriously.
“Oh, god, I love you.”
Wilson considered the possibility of it just having slipped in the moment, but he was about to let it slip as well no matter what the intent on the other side was. Plus, the declaration had sent him on edge and now everything felt fuzzy and great, so his head started spinning.
As he was feeling the orgasm wave over him, he spoke out loud with the last thrusts, “Fuck, I love you too. God.”
The man’s belly exploded with painful pleasure and he came in Bucky, letting out a loud groan. Nevertheless, still riding off, he could sense Bucky’s body a little frozen.
He tried to catch his breath, "Hey, you okay?” he asked to the man’s back.
Bucky faked a laugh, “Yeah, I’m fine.”
The suspicious sentence being said, he shifted away, Sam slipping off of him in the process and making Bucky whine a little in discomfort, caused by his own movements.
“You’re not hurt, are you?” Sam made sure.
Barnes shook his head as he sat down.
“No. All good.”
Sam let out a happy breath, big smile mumbling ‘okay’. He accommodated his body next to his lover to kiss him, still panting and enthusiastically devouring his mouth. He then went to kiss Bucky’s neck, then jaw, and the man was kind of giving in but not really, as just having his eyes closed didn’t exactly mean he wanted more. Wilson, on his part, wasn’t sure if what was clouding his mind was overthinking the statements they had shared, or if he was just mad that he didn’t get to cum himself; luckily, the solution of keeping him busy fixed both of those problems.
But Bucky reached for his mouth and gave him a peck, drifting away too quickly and leaving Sam to linger. Before he could say something, Bucky had stood up and started to get dressed, boxer briefs first, then pants.
Sam was taken aback, but knowing the stubborn wall of a person he was dealing with, knew exactly what he was doing.
“You in a hurry or something?” he asked sarcastically.
“Just wanna get home, that’s all.” He replied without even a glance.
“Mm’kay.” Sam nodded, not buying a single word and letting him know by his tone, “I don’t remember saying you couldn’t stay over.”
“I just… I think I should go.” He finally gave Wilson the decency of facing him, only to go back to putting on a shirt over his head, “I shouldn’t sleep here.”
Left to do nothing but sigh, Sam did so while sliding his boxers up his legs, before he painfully stood up from the side of the bed. Bucky had almost found his socks by the time he got there, next to the floating figure.
“What’s this about?” he shot his shot, to which Barnes merely shook his head and pretended to be clueless while searching for his shoes around the room, “Buck.”
Bucky had to take a deep breath, annoyed at how pushy the man he was just having sex with was acting.
“You’re being a pain in the ass.” He locked their eyes, hoping that was enough to be left alone.
“No, that was a minute ago.” Wilson cracked a joke, not really expecting Bucky to laugh as his own face was just as straight as the Winter Soldier’s, “Right now I’m being decent.” As he crossed his arms, his voice earned a much more annoying false-joke-like tonality, using a higher pitch just to get under his skin, “You ask a person a question, they reply. Look, ask me anything.”
“Sam…”
“Ask me anything, I’ll reply.” He repeated with that same obnoxious tone.
This time it was Bucky who had to sigh and follow Sam’s little game. He decided to give in and ask a genuine question, but one that would hopefully end the conversation.
“Can you just let me sleep in my house?” he asked truthfully.
Thankful for the effort, Sam replied cordially, although not really, as he was using words which sounded more offensive than defensive.
“Normally, I would just let you walk out that door, but I get the crazy feeling there’s something on your mind.” He continued to push, “I wanna know what it is.”
Barnes bit the inside of his cheek, “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“Is it because I said I loved you?” he was too quick to ask.
The easiness and calm he spoke with made Bucky’s skin crawl, his whole body freeze. Just the way Sam was addressing him made him upset for some unknown reason and the only thing he properly knew was that his chest and stomach rejected the thought. Somehow. He clenched his jaw, and that was when Sam noticed he looked rather angry.
So naturally, instead of stepping back, he kept provoking him to get a proper answer, because he was spilling his guts right then and there, open and vulnerable and honest, and the man wasn’t even dignifying him with a reply. No, Bucky was just running away like Sam had insulted him or something, which, to be honest, would have caused a better reaction. They were used to that.
“Here, I’ll say it again: I love you.”
This time Bucky’s reaction was to turn around, continuing to look for his shoes but giving Sam his back.
“Say it back or say you didn’t mean it, say it just came out in the heat of the moment, I’ll understand.” Sam didn’t give up on the subject, no matter how much rejection was being shoved on his face, “But say something.”
“What part of I don’t wanna talk about it-“
“But you have to!” Sam raised his voice minimally, finally letting some sentiment out in more than just words.
And Bucky felt the micro aggression hit him like a truck. The things building in his stomach were anger and confusion to say the least,
Stop. Frown.
“No, I don’t.” He spat, his squinted eyes saying more than necessary, “You’re not my counselor, I’m not one of your veterans!”
The attack made Sam raise his eyebrows in offense, but instead of cutting through Bucky’s statement, he merely crossed his arms and put up a defiant look as he waited for the man to continue, or potentially fix what he was saying, although it seemed very unlikely.
Indeed, Barnes followed up with a devastating phrase, “I’m not here for you to suck the PTSD out of me!”
Sam kept a straight face, “You wanna take that back? Last chance.” He offered, tip-toing around that one last drop he needed before snapping.
Seeing how any addition to the conversation would only make it worse, Bucky decided to end things and pick them up another day, when they were both less irritated and heated, but most importantly, when he himself knew exactly what he was running away from and why he was so damn upset.
“I just wanna get the hell away from here.” He turned away, still looking for the remaining of his clothes since the argument made it difficult to actually concentrate in finding the items.
“Why? Cause you might actually feel something?” Sam finally snapped, raising his voice and dropping his arms at his sides, “You can act all you want but the whole ‘jerk’ part doesn’t suit you, Barnes.”
And the words had the soldier finally shutting his mouth, actually listening to the sentimental accusations. Something clicked. Perhaps Sam had a way of crawling under his emotional door just like he could crawl under his body. Naked body, naked soul, was an intrusive thought he acquired in those milliseconds while he waited for Sam to keep yelling.
“You wanna push me away, too? Fine! But you should really start writing your apology letter for when you realize I actually care for you. I actually worry? Has that ever crossed your mind? What, did you think I pretend to like you?”
Picking up on the fact that Sam was waiting on a proper answer, Bucky shrugged, his tongue a little tied but managing to speak up in the tiniest of tones, “I think you like to fix people’s messes.”
Wilson appreciated the honesty, but still had to shake his head with disbelief at the lack of understanding from the other end of the conversation.
“Right. Cause it’s not like I love you or anything.”
“You said that already.” Bucky reminded him, not upgrading from his small voice.
Sam nodded, “Four times and I still got no reply.”
Eventually, Barnes was forced to speak his mind. Whatever form that took, considering he wasn’t totally sure of what his mind was doing to him at that very moment. There was one thing he had come to realization, though, and it was the one thing he croaked out to be heard.
“I don’t know if I can.” He said before looking down at his own shoeless feet.
“Just say yes or no, or give me some time to think about it. There’s not many options to choose from.” Sam pushed him.
“If I can do… feelings, I mean. I don’t know if I can do feelings.” Earning Sam’s full attention and probably his will to understand his posture, the man lifted his gaze and locked eyes with him, doing his best to express his confusing thoughts, “I’m probably… unwired to? They probably took that part off of me and if not, the killings did.”
Sam felt that thing he usually did when Hydra was brought up: his heart sinking. It normally came with a side of compassion and guilt, or sometimes even anger. This time, among a few others, it was impotence for not being able to get those crazy ideas out of his mind. Walking towards him, Bucky understood that his lover was being nothing but comprehensive.
He placed his hands on both sides of the soldier’s face, the latter shutting his eyes at the gesture.
“Bucky, what’s this on your mind right now? Fear? Guilt? All feelings.” He talked him through, sweetly; then placing one hand on the man’s chest, which made his eyes water over being handled with so much care, “This, right here? How it feels heavy?”
He didn’t fight the gentle treatment. Sam was right, and he was just having a hard time accepting it. So he simply nodded, empty nods to cover-up being on the verge of tears. However that big sad frown on his face wasn’t helping, and wasn’t avoidable either, so he had to blink away some tears, although never losing eye contact with the man causing them.
“What about… good feelings?” Bucky’s voice cracked, “What if I can’t have those?”
Wilson smirked in an attempt to cheer him up, “Baby, what did you just feel on that bed?” he joked with a mocking tone.
A laugh escaped Barnes’ lips and it gave room for his lover to wipe his tears and then pull him in for a hug, a warm, comfortable hug, which was barely reciprocated by Bucky’s hands holding onto his back, but it was enough.
Suddenly, he croaked another painful question, “If I’m capable… do you think I deserve it?”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
Sam guided him to sit on the bed, which he obeyed to rather reluctantly. Sometimes, it felt like Hydra had implanted a chip in his brain that made him relieve the memories as a part of their torture, a way of keeping his humanity away from him forever, even out of their physical reach.
“Listen to me.” Sam spoke in a low, convincing voice, “You can’t let it chase you forever. If you keep punishing yourself, they win. Bucky, you’ve endured more than anyone alive can account for, you… you don’t just deserve the world, the world owes you for all those years.”
Bucky slipped a small smile, “Sounds like you’re overestimating me.”
In his mind, he was just the dumb soldier who got sent to the wrong place at the wrong time. They didn’t pick him because he was special. They didn’t even blink, they simply sent a few guards to get him and that was it, he was in Hydra’s claws now. Even after the facilities burned down, they had him, but it was just bad luck. He didn’t feel like he deserved an award for surviving; they wanted him to survive. Perhaps he deserved some compensation for the trouble, he thought.
“Bucky, I know what Steve meant to you.” The unspoken subject was abruptly brought up, and it made Bucky’s head shoot up, “I know he wasn’t just your friend.”
“That’s not…” the soldier shook his head minimally, simply at a loss of words, until he couldn’t finish the sentence.
“He was my best friend too, but to you, it was love. I know it was.” The face he put up was saying by all means for Bucky not to try and deny it, “And I know you never told him.”
Barnes gave in, “You’re saying it proves I can do feelings?”
“Why did you tell him to leave if he meant that much to you?
It was then that Bucky just knew that Sam had figured it all out. His feelings. Keeping them concealed all those years. The conversation they held right before Steve stepped on that quantum time machine.
He shrugged again, “He deserved to be happy, even if that counted me out.”
And just like that, it made sense. He realized his own words were giving him the answer, as his own actions projected what he didn’t think he deserved himself. After visibly putting up an pensive expression that might as well have been replaced by a sound of ‘huh’, Sam grinned, as if to say ‘see?’.
“Your heart is broken… in so, so many ways.” He continued, grabbing the man’s flesh hand in his own, “I cannot fix that for you, but I’m here. Please, know that I’m here and I’m not leaving. You can trust me.”
Bucky didn’t need any more reassurance. Sam was it. He was scared and unsure but if there was one thing he was certain of was Sam’s love; Sam’s feelings towards him, his own towards Sam, his honesty, straightforwardness, and above all, the way he made him feel real.
“Then I guess I love you.” He simply said, his heart open and still feeling safe.
Wilson cupped his face with a mocking smirk plastered on his face.
“You said that already.”
Then Bucky leaned to join their lips softly, which then escalated to a heated kiss. Their soft palms reached to caress each other’s skin, Sam’s being bare and out in the open, so his next move was to remove Bucky’s shirt, one he had put on merely to storm out of the place. They certainly didn’t need it now. Sam was also very quick to notice the hard-on growing under Bucky’s pants, so he palmed in intentionally and meaningfully while leaving wet kisses on his neck, which earned him one of Bucky’s moans.
He kneeled on the floor, in front of the needy member trapped in Bucky’s jeans, and decided those had to go as well. Once he had gotten rid of both the pants and boxers in one go, there wasn’t much more teasing before his lips were already wrapped around his dick. No matter how aware of what was about to go down Bucky was, he was still somewhat caught by surprise by the sudden tongue running up his upper shaft, and couldn’t contain the gasp from escaping. It was continuingly followed by a moan, along with the sensation of heat rising to his body.
“I’m gonna make you feel good, okay?” Sam used his lowest sexy voice while one hand ran up Barnes’ stomach and hot breath touched his thigh.
“Yes, please.” He nodded through closed eyes.
It put a smile in Wilson’s face. He bobbed down, then added a hand to masturbate him while his lips did the work of sucking the living breath out of the man. He gained a rhythm that had the pleasured soldier grasp at the sheets beneath his palms to the point where he could hear the fabric tear under metal fingers, buck his hips, groan and moan, not even bothering to hold back the sounds. He didn’t care about sounding sexy or employing a low voice like Sam did, and just let himself go.
The next time he bucked his hips, it made his cock reach Sam’s throat, and he gagged but kept going, pressing his lips tighter around the member so that it wouldn’t cut off his air supply.
Suddenly, Bucky felt the need to announce the upcoming event, “Fuck, fuck. Sam?” At the lack of hum of approval, he talked again, a little more panicked over his need to release immediately, “Sam, I’m gonna-”
Sam knew, he could feel him tense under his hands, and simply didn’t wanna stop the frenzy just to say ‘yes, go ahead’. He wanted his lover to be let loose however and whenever he needed that particular day.
“fuck, fuck, I’m-“
His words were cut off by an involuntary moan as he came in Sam’s mouth. Given time to ride off, he panted out until lips were detached and abandoned him with a pop.
Sam left a trail of kisses up his legs, which then became his torso, and the soldier’s eyes were still fluttered shut, feeling the after wave, but before he fully rode off, Sam pushed him on his back and moved his hand up the back of his thighs until it met the mattress and he had to make way to his ass. Before Bucky even opened his eyes, while his heart was still pounding, Wilson pressed a thumb against his perineum and started massaging his way in.
It once again surprised the man, but he surrendered to pleasure with a shut-mouthed moan. That same mouth soon was opened as the fuzz around him never fully went away, only for Sam to hover over him and make his way into his mouth, dominantly. Their tongues mixed aggressively while Sam worked one finger in, giving him what he wanted until hewas ready to go again.
It was when he had two fingers inside for a few seconds that he finally slid off, leaving him so abandoned that he whined.
“Come ‘ere.” Wilson gestured as he sat on the bed at an angle where Barnes could still comfortably straddle his hips, “Sit.” He in fact sat on Sam’s hard-on, to which the latter groaned, “Mmm I love your ass.” The comment had Bucky smiling into a kiss, then detaching their lips for the man to keep sweet-talking to him, his chin held by the darker fingers, “I love your eyes, too. And that dumb manly jaw of yours.”
Bucky chuckled, “My jaw’s dumb?”
“Yeah.” He chuckled back, earning nothing but more laughs, “Makes you look like Popeye got a Jesus haircut.”
The man sitting on Sam’s thighs was unable to stop himself from bursting out laughing. Only when it stopped, they locked eyes and Wilson was back into make out mode, hands running up and down Bucky’s back while the latter held onto his neck and shoulder blades. However he soon remembered and took the metal arm off of his lover’s skin, instead using it to hold himself in place, which he didn’t actually need.
Sam didn’t like it when Bucky used his arm in the bedroom, as in use it use it. He didn’t like the metal fingers around his dick, didn’t like to be spanked with it when straddling Bucky. He had tried it once just to check, but Wilson was very clear when saying he wasn’t into those kinds of kinks. ‘don’t you start choking me with that thing’ he said once, later regretting he’d called it a thing even if he was merely joking. Bucky didn’t seem to mind, he simply laughed into the kiss and forgot all about it.
Sam took notice of what was happening and grabbed the metal hand to plant a few kisses on it. He followed up by going back into that sweet spot on the soldier’s neck, making his breathing hectic again and his cock twitch against Sam’s boxers. Bucky rode him to cause some friction because he was needy, but Sam held his hips in place, provoking another whine and Barnes’ forehead to be pressed against his.
“Look at me.” Sam asked sweetly, to which he complied, “Tell me what you want.”
Bucky held a desperate frown, “I want you inside me.”
“How?”
“Just like this.”
Sam took his own cock out, and Barnes was eager for it, moaning to no stimulation whatsoever. He also had to painfully stretch his body to grab the lube he left on the nightstand without losing Bucky’s position on top of him, proceeding to coat himself in the liquid. He guided Bucky’s hips down, groaning to the feeling and listening very carefully to how Bucky let out a relieved sigh. Eventually, the entire member was inside of him.
“You feel so good, baby.” Sam cooed, “So good.”
Bucky simply closed his eyes as to concentrate in taking it all in, humming as a reply. Then he was rocking his hips, making Sam fuck him without needing him to do the effort. He only had to help by placing his hands on each side of Bucky’s body, and once they got a rhythm going, Bucky’s breath was a mess.
He was holding onto him for dear life when the words came out again, only differently, “I love you.”
“I know.” Wilson attached his lips to the ‘dumb’ jaw again.
Yet the man was repeating it like a mantra, like he had to get a grasp on that word, like he had to convince himself that he deserved to say it out loud. To Sam, his body felt tight and the angle hit the dark-skinned man to the point where he was dizzy. He laid back and Bucky kept going, holding himself up with one hand on his torso. The slow pace had Sam over the clouds, breathing so heavily he might fall onto cardiac distress right there.
Then he grabbed a hold of Bucky’s body and pinned him down without slipping off him; legs naturally going to each side of Sam’s hips while Sam held himself up by his knees as he began pounding onto him a lot faster, and Bucky moaned higher. He had one hand on the mattress holding his own weight and the other on Bucky’s cheek, which he covered with his metal hand on top. They were locking drunk eyes under pleasure frowns.
“I love you.” Barnes kept saying, “I love you. I lo- fuck. Fuck, Sam.”
He nodded at the sound of his name, unable to produce a coherent word.
“Right there.” Bucky practically begged.
Wilson could sense his orgasm building up, so he let go of the man’s cheek to get a hold of his dick, all the while hitting that one specific spot inside him.
“Sam, Sam, Sam-“ He tried to warn him again, never accustoming to simply getting off without letting his partner know.
And so Sam let him know that he was okay, in any way that he could, through heavy panting.
“Let go, baby.”
He stroked the soldier’s dick and pounded one, two, three times until he was screaming out curses and he came with a wide-mouthed moan, and so Sam let go as well. He wrapped a hand under Bucky’s head and collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily on the crook of his neck.
After their breath was set closer to normal, Wilson laid on his side without losing the embrace. That way, they stared into each other’s faces.
Sam moved sweaty hair off the man’s face and sighed, “I lucked out.”
It gained him a smirk from Bucky.
“You condemned yourself is what you did. I’m a big pile of trouble and you know that.”
He wasn’t not serious, but at least it was all expressed through a joking tone, and progress was progress.
“Yeah, and a big pile of trauma.” Sam rolled his eyes, “You don’t think I can handle you?”
“I think you just did.” The other mocked him, again.
“Well, I can’t fuck some sense into you every single time, I’ll get dehydrated.” Sam gave into the dynamic before planting a soft kiss in Bucky’s lips, “I can try, though.”