Chapter Text
“How do you decide who you want to hook up with?”
“I don’t know, they usually come to you.”
“No, but what if they don’t?”
“You go and do whoever the fuck you want.”
“Yeah. Ok… Imma do that.”
Starting with three people in the car and leaving with two, they left the winter formal an hour before it ended, tired of breathing the stench of sweat and hormones in the school atmosphere.
With gatorade-liquor still running fresh in her system, Lexi Howard sat in the passenger seat of her big sister Cassie’s car, watching the night pass by her. Her head was throbbing and she felt like the world around her was spinning, but the only thing that gave her comfort were Cassie’s words from not too long ago. Cassie always gave good advice, but tonight, it struck differently. It stuck with Lexi in her soul. Hell, maybe the alcohol intensified her appreciation for Cassie’s advice, but Lexi couldn’t deny she felt different. She felt stronger.
And she was definitely going to go and do whoever the fuck she wanted.
But first she had to get home and Jesus Christ, Cassie was driving so fucking slow.
“Cass, could you like… drive any slower?” She groaned, still staring out the window.
“Shut the fuck up and don’t rush me, sheesh. You drank too much gatorade tonight, Lex,” Cassie said rolling her eyes.
Lexi turned over, facing Cassie. Cassie, in turn, glanced at her and back at the road.
“I have to pee like super bad.” That was a lie, but she knew Cassie wouldn’t speed up any other way. She turned back to the window, smiling softly as she felt the car speed up. She closed her eyes for a quick second--the alcohol beginning to do its job--and before she knew it, they were standing in front of their door, waiting for their mom to let them in.
“Cass, you know you have keys, right?” Lexi said, squinting at her older sister.
“Lex, shut up and wait for mom.” Cassie said, softly pushing Lexi’s shoulders.
Lexi shrugged her shoulders and gazed back at the door, hearing soft footsteps on the other side.
They both took a step back, watching the door knob slowly turn and their mother smiling at them.
“You girls have a fun night?” Their mom said, her voice slightly hoarse, as she pulled both of them in for a quick hug. Cassie nodded her head yes, describing the night in her own words.
“How about you, Lex? You have a fun night?” Her mother asked, still hugging the two of them.
Fun? Fun was far from what she experienced. Sure, she hung out with her friends (until they each dipped one by one, leaving just Cassie and herself), and sure, she was super happy for Kat and Ethan. The gatorade definitely made the night more tolerable. And yes, she even did get to hang out with Rue again, which is always nice. But the crappy parts overrode the good parts.
When the topic of peaking came up, she felt as if she didn’t even qualify as a person so “peaking” was way out of her league. However, the conversation took a turn when Rue said she didn’t even think she’d get to where she was now. Lexi’s heart sank, but she understood where she was coming at. But the good thing was Rue was clean for three months now (despite being let out of rehab for six months), and Lexi has never been more proud of her. Rue was one of the strongest and captivating people she knew. She could get through anything.
She just wished she was sitting in Jule’s chair. If she was, she’d be the one defending Rue and holding her hand, comforting her. She’d be the one taking her hand and leading her to the dance floor. She’d be the one fidgeting back and forth struggling to match Rue’s fluid dance moves because she can’t dance for shit. She’d be the one being led outside of the school and whipped away to somewhere where it’s just them.
But she wasn’t Jules. Jules was eccentric and adventurous. Lexi was not. Jules was spontaneous and out of this world. Lexi, just couldn’t compare. No wonder Rue was obsessed with Jules. Who wouldn’t be?
“Tons of fun, mom.” She said, choosing not to spill the hour long rant swimming in her head. Breathing in the familiar scent of wine always emanating from her mother, she kissed her mother goodnight after Cassie, and followed her big sister upstairs to change.
After taking off her dress and removing her makeup, Lexi grabbed her phone from her nightstand and sunk into her bed, lying on her stomach.
She unlocked her phone and quickly went to her messages, looking for Rue’s name. Rue left pretty early at the dance, so... it wouldn’t hurt to ask if she got home safe, right? She was her best friend, after all. Or at least she thought. Rue never confirmed this after her outburst in the bathroom sometime ago. But, her and Rue did bond at the skating rink and Rue did come to her a lot about the whole “Jules and Nate Conspiracy” thing. Lexi smiled. She liked that they had their little “Harold and Bennett” schtick. It was just for them. Anyways, yeah, Rue and her were still best friends. For sure. Right?
To Rue: Hey rue, u up?
Lexi shook her head, deleting her text which has been stated by millions of fuckboys around the globe. She should keep it light and simple.
To Rue: Hey
A simple “hey” should suffice. It’s vague, but appropriate. Caring, yet cool . Lexi groaned again.
To Rue: Hey beautiful ;)
She quickly deleted whatever that mess was and sunk her face into her pillow, groaning even louder.
“You good, Lex?” Cassie said, sitting up on her bed.
Lexi waved her hand in the air, “Yeah, I’m fine. Night Cass.”
Lexi heard a yawn accompanied with a soft thud across the room.
“Night Lex.”
To Rue: nite rue :)
She hit Send and put her phone on her bedside table, snuggling herself in her blankets. Tomorrow she’d plan on hanging out with Rue. Tomorrow would be the day. So, she closed her eyes and dreamed of the curly haired manic, hoping she was safe in bed.
Except Rue was a neighborhood away, in her room, selling herself out and finding comfort with her past demons.