Chapter Text
Love Hopeful: Beginning Interrupted
The first thing that Ben’s body noticed was the quiet, and not because he couldn’t hear but it was honestly truly quiet. His body could normally make out the vibrations of sounds throughout the house. He had learned how to feel footsteps as they come, and there were none. Then there was the sun, it was bright. He felt the warmth of the sun on his body. He had blackout curtains in his room, so this was not his room. Then he realized the warmth wasn’t from the sun but a body. The long firm hard body that his body was entangled with.
His mind screamed “run run run” but his body ignored him curling more into the body like it was possible they could meld together. He felt warm, he felt comfy, and for the first time in god knows how many years Ben Mitchell felt safe. He moaned as his senses were overtaken by the earthy musky scene that was Callum Highway. He smiled as that scent fell over him like a blanket. He could feel Callum start to shift allowing Ben to curl more into his side. Callum’s scent was warm and welcoming, and honestly it was one of the best things Ben ever smelled in his life. He had been around the world, been in some of the best shops and cafés, been in bed with more men but nothing even came close to this one moment.
Yesterday started to come back to him slowly, little pieces at first. He wasn’t sure if what happened with Paul was real or a dream, but whatever it was it certainly did the trick. He felt different, like something inside of him had been freed. It was like he finally got to say goodbye. He finally got the closure that he so desperately craved. Even if it wasn’t the real Paul, he knew the real Paul would have liked Callum. Lifting his head Callum was still asleep. He was a vision. Gently moving his hair out of his face Ben could not help how warm he felt inside. He knew it wasn’t love, but something inside of him told him it could be. Like for the first time since Paul, he believed he could have love again, that he deserved to have love again.
Ben didn’t know if sleepovers counted as going slow, nothing happened they did just sleep so he guess it’s allowed. He felt good, like for the first time in ages he felt rested and recharged. Callum looked even more innocent then he did normally. His hair was a mess going every which way, damp by the sweat of sleep and their combined body heat. Probably why his face was flushed as well. Ben wanted to lean down and kiss at his damp skin but didn’t know how Callum would take that. Since Ben was the one who initiated them going slow.
Ben didn’t want to move, once he moved reality would sink in. His mind would start to replay last night’s events. He would have to deal with the consequences of staying over instead of going home. He could almost imagine his father’s face, or what Jay was going to say. Slowly untangling his body from Callum he groaned as his body fought him, it wanted to stay in the warm little cocoon they had formed. Rolling to the side he picked up his glasses first, then his hearing aid. Smiling at the obvious care Callum took to place them as close to his side as possible.
Sitting up he looked around, he and Callum were going to need to discuss the light in here. Looking up he saw sheer curtains, clearly Callum hadn’t redecorated since Whitney left. Ben tried not to scowl. Afterall it has only been a few weeks. It was clear that the sun didn’t bother him. Callum spent over a decade in the Army so Ben could only assume he had slept in much dire conditions than just a little too much sun. Didn’t mean he wasn’t going to bring it up, and maybe hint at him getting blackout curtains. Especially if his sleeping over was going to be a regular occurrence.
Ben felt Callum groan as he started to wake up, mumbled words he couldn’t understand and shifting like his body was trying to find Ben’s. Ben wanted to laugh because it was the most adorable thing he’d seen. Callum began to open his eyes hissing as the sun hit him, okay maybe he wouldn’t be that hard to convince. Ben laughed as Callum turned the brightest shade of pink as he realized Ben was watching him. Callum smiled rubbing his eyes, Ben wanted to say something smooth something that showed his experience, but nothing came out as he opened his mouth.
“Lola dropped you off an overnight bag last night,” Callum stated as he climbed out of the bed, watching Ben look at him like he had never seen him before.
“Lola,” Ben repeated climbing out of bed, blinking at Callum. “Surprised Jay didn’t come running down here to drag me home? He and Lexi have been oddly attached to me lately.”
“You did get shot and almost die,” Callum reminded him, huffing when Ben rolled his eyes. “But we do need to speak about your brother, but I need to shower first.”
“What did Jay do,” Ben groaned as images of their conversation popped into his head. He looked over to Callum who had a strange look on his face. “Don’t say nothing because you just referred to him as my brother so that’s got to mean something.”
“I need a shower,” Callum told him running his fingers through his hair, his sweat damp hair. Ben grinned a moment later as Callum glared at the window when a ray of light shinned in his eyes. “And then I need breakfast.”
“How about you shower, then I’ll take one,” Ben started as he begun to look around the room for any of his clothes. “Then we’ll go grab something.”
Callum agreed because Ben’s idea right now sounded like a top-notch plan. He left the room because his body needed away from Ben’s body. It was like Ben’s body called to him. He couldn’t be near him without his body reacting. Like they were tied by some invisible string. Walking out he found Ben’s overnight bag where he tossed it the night before. Picking it up he sucked in a deep breath, he just needed to take a nice long ice-cold shower. Isn’t that what Chris always said he did to cool his body down. Callum now laugh softly as memories came to him, it explains why Chris took so many showers.
Ben looked up taking the bag smirking as he saw the pink sparkles and little unicorns, she had used Lexi’s bag. Taking a seat on the end of the bed Ben inhaled deeply as he forced his body to calm down. He wanted to invite himself to join Callum, but that wouldn’t be a good idea. They needed to take this a step at a time, he wanted this to be a relationship not another hookup. They had all the time in the world, and he wanted to prove not only to the resident of Walford but to himself this was going to mean more. It would just be too easy to fall into old habits. Callum was special.
Ben realized seconds later he was sitting on the bed clutching Lexi bag like it was his lifeline. Laughing out loud he dropped the bag allowing himself to fall back on the bed to stare at the ceiling. The last almost day had been something of a complete dream if Ben was being honest. This time yesterday there was no way he would have believed he would have woken up in Callum Highway’s bed. He just needed to relax, he needed to mentally take himself down a few pegs, but most of all he needed his body to calm down. His heart rate was up, his body was flushed and hot, and he just really wanted his body pinned between Callum’s body and any surface. Looking towards the door he began to wonder if he could renegotiate this going slow agreement they made.
“You feeling alright,” Callum asked from the door way seeing Ben laying back on the bed with his hands over his face while doing what appeared to be breathing exercises.
“I’m fine,” Ben told him, then his mouth went dry at the sight of Callum. This was not fair; he was pretty sure if Paul was still watching he was either laughing or was the one behind this scene.
Callum Highway stood in front of him, wrapped in only a towel - an extremely thin lightly colored towel. Ben stood up looking away quickly as he saw Callum’s blush spread down his body. Ben did not need to look down Callum’s body right now. This was cruel. Because he could see the water sliding down his arms, he never realizes that Callum has nice arms. Nice strong arms, strong arms that could probably hold him up. Ben grabbed the overnight bags, hoping that looking at his daughter’s bag would help cool him down and change his strain of thought. It did not. Because now he could see the water sliding down Callum’s back, the back that he had seen before.
He opened the bag to grab his contacts, he needed his contacts. Lola was nice enough to also pack his eye drops, along with the pills he took. Callum came behind him and pointed to the other side, Ben had no idea what words came out of his mouth though. As Callum was talking all he saw was damp ivory flushed skin that was just beckoning to be touched, kissed. Ben nodded, as Callum’s freshly clean scent overtook his senses. Ben wanted to close his eyes because Callum literally smelled like the earth right after the rain. Ben loved going outside after a good storm, everything felt and smelt so clean, so renewed, so fresh.
He mumbled a thank you as his eyes met Callum’s and that was an even worse mistake, he should have just run off. Callum’s normally bright blue eyes were dark grey, like almost to the color of the sky during a sea storm. His face was flush pink as droplets of water slipped from his hair, Callum was still holding onto his thin towel that was now soaked. The towel that was the only thing keeping him his entire body hidden from Ben’s wondering eyes. Ben couldn’t hide the way his own blue eyes darken, or that his mouth went completely dry. He felt like his mouth was full of cotton, which has never happened. All Ben did know was that he wanted Callum’s body on his in any way he could have it.
Before Callum knew what was happening Ben grabbed his contacts and the few hygiene products he still had at the Beale house and ran. There was no smooth way to put it, Ben knew that, but he also knew--hoped Callum understood. Having Callum’s warm newly showered body that close was doing things to him. Things he liked. There was a tingle all over his body that he hadn’t felt in years. It wasn’t the feeling you get when you see someone attractive, it was different. It was like his body could sense Callum’s, and Callum’s could sense his, and they were like “hey you idiots.” Ben let out a pained groaned, because he could smell Callum everywhere in this steamy bathroom. It took Ben only a few seconds to realize, he wasn’t just smelling Callum’s scent mix with steam. All Ben could think was someone was having a laugh somewhere.
Callum leaned his head against the door of his closet, he needed his body to cool down. He felt out of control, like he had never felt this way not even as a teenager. Lee used to make fun of him because it was like he didn’t have a sex drive at all. As he started to get his breathing back to normal, he wished other parts of his body would follow. He just hadn’t expected the hunger in Ben’s eyes. No one had ever looked at him like that, not even Whitney. She had looked at him with desire, and a few times a needy expression but never like that. Callum could feel his hunger, could almost taste it. He wanted to do nothing more than crush his lips against Ben’s but that wouldn’t be a good idea. Ben wanted to take things slow, so they’ll go slow.
Looking towards the way of the shower Callum wondered exactly how slow Ben was talking?
Callum decided he didn’t want to go out for breakfast, as he looked at his clock. It was almost eleven so soon it would be lunch. Slipping on a clean pair of joggers and t-shirt, he took Ben’s clothes out of the glittery bag. Placing them neatly on the bed so he’d be able to find them. Callum would just make then something to eat. If they tried to go out people would just want to talk to them. Or even worse they’d just watch them with knowing judgmental glances. He knew Jay would want to talk, and they needed to talk honestly but he just wasn’t ready. Walking out he went to the kitchen; he’d just toss together something. Maybe pancakes and bacon, Ben mentioned he hadn’t had those in a while. Callum hissed when there was a knock at the door, he prayed it wasn’t Jay.
“Whitney,” Callum greeted not even forcing himself to smile, Whitney frowned she hadn’t meant to go as far as she did the day before.
“Don’t think I have ever heard Halfway use that tone before,” Lee joked coming into view smiling.
“Lee Carter,” Callum shrieked, Whitney let out a small scream of surprise as she was pushed aside before being squished.
Pulling Lee towards him in a hug, Callum couldn’t believe how good it felt to have his best mate this close again. It had been years since he’d seen Lee, sure they spoken regular through email then of course text but this was different. It was just a different feeling to know he had Lee in his arms, that Lee was safe. Callum had changed so much since his younger days of hiding from Jonno at the Carters. Sometimes it felt odd to think back to those days, like it was a different world.
Stuart and Mick were mates, only a year apart. Sometimes it was weird to think about. Callum wondered sometimes if that was why he always felt unwanted. He was only two and half years older than Lee. Linda babysat him quite a bit, and then Lee came along. It was almost destined they’d be best mates. But life was cruel, Elenore left and things went from not good to seriously bad as time went on. He enlisted the day he was legally able to. Linda and Mick were there to see him off with Lee. Stuart never quite forgave him for leaving, but they were getting better.
Stuart had asked him, and even Ben once or twice had asked him about his feelings for Lee Carter. Callum could honestly say he never saw Lee or Johnny as more than anything than mates. Maybe it was because he saw Mick as a paternal unit, he automatically looked at them as brothers. Letting go he ushered Lee into the house, turning around to see Lee’s amazed look. Callum looked good. Like Lee had never seen him look this fit before. He could honestly see why Whitney fell for him. This wasn’t his childhood mate that Lee had to protect from the bullies.
“What are you doing here?” Callum asked forgetting that he had Ben in the shower, looking over to Whitney who looked slightly uncomfortable. Callum didn’t want to be that person but he was slightly okay with that, after what she had said yesterday. But he also felt bad too because he wanted her happy.
“Just here for today I’m afraid,” Lee sighed looking around, noticing a jacket that definably wasn’t Callum’s. He needed to figure out a way to talk to Callum alone. “But I’ll be back for two weeks during Christmas this year.”
“Mick said Johnny was coming down as well,” Callum smiled watching Lee nod, but he sensed right away something was off. Looking at Whitney he began to wonder what Lee had been told.
“Callum what did you do…” Ben yelled coming out then stopping as he saw Whitney and Lee, Ben did not miss Whitney gasp of shock.
“Ben Mitchell,” Lee stuttered wide eyed as he took in his appearance.
Stepping out of the shower Ben felt good, like he felt recharged in a way he hadn’t in a long time. Callum’s scent was all around him, and it felt nice knowing Callum had been in the same shower just moments before Ben had. His wound was healing nicely, he didn’t expect to be healing as quick as he was. Looking in the mirror Ben smiled, his face was finally all healed up. It was strange after the last few months to see his face unmarked by bruises and scrapes. Ian was making bets to see how long it lasted. Closing his eyes, he took in the scent once more before he went for his clothes--his clothes that he did not grab.
Ben was happy that Lola packed his contacts, this whole situation was making him feel vulnerable. With Callum he felt open and raw, like there was no way of hiding anything from the man. These would at least help a little bit. Not that he wanted to hide from him, he liked that Callum saw him. He also didn’t know how to handle this any other way then being Ben Mitchell, and if he hurt Callum he’d never forgive himself. Wrapping the towel around his lower body, he peeked outside the door to see if Callum placed them there -- no luck. He walked towards Callum voice. He didn’t register any of Callum’s words just his voice.
The idea that Callum was not just talking to himself or on the phone never occurred to him. Well didn’t until he stood face to face with Lee Carter and Whitney Dean. Whitney whose eyes went so wide he couldn’t see anything but the whites, then heard her gasp of utter shock as she turned pink. Callum needed better towels, thicker longer darker towels. Ben watched her look at Callum like she didn’t know what was happening, like the idea of Ben being here was so out of the blue. Then Ben recalled what he dreamed, maybe it was in her mind. Then he heard Lee stutter his name, saw him look at his childhood mate like he had never seen him before. Ben’s heart ached in those few seconds until Callum’s voice broke the silence.
“I’m gay,” Callum announced.
TBC