Chapter Text
“Okay, you made your point. Will you help stop the Cycle?”
The image of Ann Bryson seemed to ponder for only a moment before the deep voice spoke through her again. “I have searched your mind. You are an anomaly, yet that is not enough.” She turned her back to me and I could sense the finality, this Leviathan creature fully intent on leaving me here in this endless darkness and continuing to hide.
“Wait!” I reach out and grabbed her shoulder before she could dissolve again, turning her body back to face me, but the expression set into her eyes did not change.
“The Cycle will continue.”
“No! You’ve been watching. You know this cycle is different.” The Protheans had made sure of that, even after their own demise.
“We will survive. You will remain here as a servant of our needs. The Reapers will harvest the rest.”
Anger flowed through me, thinking of those fighting up on the surface, as well as the Normandy in orbit, and the countless other battle grounds across the galaxy. “If you release me, no one has to be harvested!”
“Nothing will change.”
Yet, as certain as it sounded, I knew I had our ace-in-the-hole. “The Reapers know where you are! You can’t just watch anymore, you have to fight!” Its chosen figure didn’t respond, or even move immediately, so I pushed harder. “Even if you survive the battle today, the Reapers won’t stop. Ever. Release me, and we have a chance to end this once and for all.”
The image of Ann turned away again, remaining silent for a few long moments, before disappearing entirely. All that was left was the cold, watery darkness surrounding me, feeling like it was closing in as well as stretching on forever, no matter where I looked. It was the same place the others had spoken of when under the Leviathan’s control and I felt a moment of terror and panic. My first thoughts were of Garrus and the others, sitting up at the surface fighting off waves of Reapers, waiting for me to return. But while I feared I wouldn’t, I had to remain determined. I swore with everything in me that I would never stop trying, never stop fighting until they did released me and I could finish this war!
I almost started when the image of Ann reappeared before me. “Your confidence is singular.”
My irritation, already high, only grew when she started to stalk around me like an appraisal of its collection. “I earned it; out there fighting, where you should be.”
Coming around and past me again, her figure stopped, turned out into the darkness for another few terminal seconds. When it faced me its form shifted, becoming the image of Garneau once again. But it maintained the sound and feel of superior smugness, shattering the barest compliment in its words. “It is clear why the Reapers perceive you as a threat. Your victories are more than a product of chance.” But before I could respond, it vanished again. I turned to see Assistant Hadley some distance behind, stalking towards me with that same air. “We will fight. But not for you, or any lesser race.” Stopping evenly beside me, it displayed all the confidence and arrogance I’d come to expect in our short encounter. “We were the first, the apex race. We will survive. But you will still be useful to us.” Ice ran down my spine as he continued forward, only to come face-to-face with me as Ann again. “You will be our tool in their defeat, but you must be at your most effective.” That same claw-like pressure on the edges of my mind returned, as if its hands had reached out and grabbed my brain through my skull. The icy-cold spread out into every corner of my body as the pressure continued to build, yet its voice still rung soundly in my head. “Your distraction will be removed.”
An image of Garrus flashed through my mind as a scream of fear and pain ripped its way from my throat. And then it vanished with most of the searing sensation, and I couldn’t remember why I had been so terrified of its presence. The thought was confusing, pulsing what painful pressure still coursed through me as the human image of the creature continued on. There were other words, of… Reapers and their overdue tribute, but its voice had retreated outside my mind and became muddled through the haze around me. Not that it seemed to care, or even take notice as my head lulled forward; my vision swam with a mix of the surrounding darkness and the diving mech controls I’d almost forgotten about. It was like a waking dream, but it was so hard to tell which was real and which was the charade in front of me. I could just make out the sound of alarms, blaring their warnings as the mech threatened to collapse in on itself. The darkness seemed to release me, but I only felt a shadow of the motion my arms made to activate the jet controls, throwing me back into the seat. Yet the pain of the collision was no shadow, adding a strong throbbing to the confusion, but I was moving upward and something told me that that was good.
The mech shook again when the motion stopped suddenly, dropping me back on some kind of solid ground. The darkness of the Leviathan released me again, though I’d hardly noticed it around me as I fought for consciousness, and I fumbled across the controls until the hatch cracked open. Gasping in the real, fresh air, I tumbled forward and collided with the hard metallic surface, only my armor to stop the momentum. A groaning sounded as the large mech tumbled back over the side, reclaimed by the roaring ocean behind me and Leviathan deep below. I struggled away from it, though part of me wondered why I would, the darkness had been so calm and peaceful.
No! It was far from it, but even if it had been, peace was something soldiers earned, and I knew my war was far from over. I had to find a way back to my feet and keep fighting. The sounds of battle raged on near enough, but my body seemed almost sluggish to respond. “Kara!” It was strange to hear my given name on the battlefield, followed quickly by a familiar feeling hand taking hold of my arm and hauling me away from the wet metallic floor, looping it around his high shoulder. The claw-like tendrils were instantly back on the edges of my mind, and when a second hand closed around my waist they sunk in and dragged me back down into the darkness again.
It seemed to hold me for longer this time, but without the demerit of its arrogant company it was hard to know for sure. But it stoked my fear the longer I sat on… what my mind decided was something like ground in this infinite place. I started to think the ‘omnipotent’ was going back on its word to free me, to let me fight directly. But as that fear turned back into angry determination, the depth of the darkness seemed to shift and fade, becoming something much more familiar and reminiscent of unconsciousness. It brought with it a growing pain, but I reveled in it, knowing that its presence meant I was still alive, still me. My current state was temporary and the vertigo of blackness I was falling through would subside. The feeling was also distinctly familiar, memories of similar situations from my time on the original Normandy. While it was a long time ago now, the feeling of the Beacon and Cipher, the strain and taxing it had put on my mind were worse to bare, and with far less pressing issues at hand.
The reassurance in that thought gave me the last bit of clarity I needed to see that I was not falling, but rising. And it came to an abrupt stop when I lunged up and gasped in the air I felt I so desperately needed, raking it into my lungs and forcing it back out through painful coughs. It filled my eyes with blurring moisture and shapes of people as they took hold of my shoulders and guided them back down to the stiff surface I sat on. The voices were muffled by my own sounds, but my attention followed as another face pushed closer. A blinding light cleared the rest of my vision and it was a relief to see Doctor Chakwas’ face beyond it.
Her own expression seemed to mold into something more relaxed as our eyes focused on each other’s. “Be still, Commander. Your body is still recovering from the deep cold, as well as whatever else happened to you down there.” I took a deeper breath, letting it out slowly as the pain eased in my chest as well. “We’re all on our toes to hear just what that might be, but first off; how are you feeling?”
“Like a weight’s been added on the inside of my skull, but I’ll be fine.”
“Oh, I’ve no doubt about that.” I turned towards the humor in her voice, raising my eyebrow at her implications before she gave voice to them. “Haven’t met anything that could stop you yet. But to be certain I want you in here for regular checkups, at least for a few days.”
Her words brought my eyes to the ceiling behind her and was relieved to see the new Normandy’s Medical Bay. “I think I could manage that Doc.” Her own eyebrow raised in doubt. “But only if you insists.” The brow dropped again, accepting the answer she’d obviously been expecting as she opened her Omni Tool and started scanning.
I took only a moment to relax, close my eyes and regain my bearings before pulling myself up into a sitting position. She huffed in annoyance, shifting her stance to better continue her work. “Well, since you refuse to cooperate willingly, why don’t you at least sit still and tell us what happened down there?”
With my own slightly frustrated exhale, I straightened to almost attention, just to annoy her a little further, and started my basic debrief. “Well, we found it. It’s real and a lot more than we ever imagined.”
“Was it worth almost dying for?”
It was a question she’s asked many times in just as many different ways, especially when it came to things like the Beacons and Cipher. This time, however, my answer was not so certain. It had been an unknown risk that it might not let me go, and it could have cost us everything, just as it may have helped us. But I was silent for too long to tell her anything but the raw truth. “I don’t know, but we proved it can’t hide anymore… that it’s part of this war, just like us. And it’s gonna help fight.”
“Is sounds like an impressive accomplishment.” My gaze was drawn up towards the ceiling by EDI’s voice, but it pulled a less that heart-filled laugh from me.
“Yeah. One for the history books.” While it wasn’t a lie, it was hard to classify, or even prove how much was actually true. It was like nothing we’d ever encountered before, but we’d clearly made it off of the Reaper-infested planet with at least everyone else intact.
When my eyes dropped from the ceiling, they immediately landed on the other occupants of the room. Mordin was in conversation with Eve, flat Salarian nose buried deep in his data pad, but he still spared a moment to smile and nod at me. A grand gesture indeed if it took him away from his experiments. Eve herself was watching me closely, though it looked more like a half-hearted attempt to escape more of his insistent questions. As I nodded to her knowingly, gaining the same in response, the door opened with almost a sense of urgency, reflected in the large Turian that practically pushed his way through them before they fully parted. It was good to see him safe and sound, but the wide flare of his mandibles looked strange, not a gesture I’d seen on him before. But I had collapsed on him planet-side, so I wrote it off and turned back towards the Doctor.
Her expression looked almost confused for a moment, but the chiming on her Omni Tool pulled her attention again. “Well, there seems to be no damage to any of your systems or cybernetics, but I’m reading some interesting shifts in your neural pathways. It could be your cybernetics rerouting any possible damage that was done down there, which could be good, as long as it’s only temporary. We will find out more about that in your follow-ups.” She eyed me seriously, like she doubted I would actually come back. “But what worries me more are the scans I performed while you were still unconscious; almost no brain activity at all, beyond basic motor function keeping your body alive. We were worried we might actually have lost you for a while.”
While I understood her concern, I was distracted and surprised by the fact that she didn’t comment on Garrus practically hovering over her shoulder. He was watching me closely with a look I didn’t know how to interpret and I found myself wanting to look back. The strange thought brought a distinct and familiar chill to the nape of my neck, like sharp fingers crawling their way up and sliding around the back of my brain waiting to take hold. I fought the incredibly strong urge to shiver at the disturbing feeling, forcing my full attention back to the Doctor, only to feel like all eyes in the room had landed on me at the same moment. Where they expecting me to have an answer? I was alive, awake and functioning… or was it something else? Something they were not looking forward to telling me. Had something happened down there that I didn’t know about yet?
Feeling my own features shift slightly with concern, I turned my look from the Doctor back to Garrus, who I hopped would explain.
“I’ll give you two are moment while I add these new scans to my report.” Her tone sounded suggestive and I felt a trickle of panic sink in. Who else had been on the surface with us? Cortez and Vega. Were they alright, had something happened that I couldn’t remember?
“Are you sure you’re okay, Shepard?” His focus seems wholly intent on me and I relax slightly; he would have told me outright if something had happened, he knew the mission was most important.
“Yeah, I’m alright as soon as Doc says I’m ready to fly.” He let out a louder breath, like he’d been holding it back, and his features soften more than I'd ever seen before, mandibles flexing outward again. Instantly at that sight the sharp, claw-like feeling stroked dangerously inside the back of my head. Hardly catching the shiver before it ran straight down my spine, my eyes closed as I tried to force its grip loose.
“Never do that again.” The feeling flares stronger and I snap my eyes open at his words, sounding almost like an order. While it wasn’t like him to be directly insubordinate, I was even more startled by his proximity. Instantly my hand flew up and hit flat again his chest piece, pushing us both back as he leaned far closer than we’d ever been outside of combat situations before. But we weren’t just Commander and subordinate, so I tried to play it off with a friendly smile.
“Whoa there, big guy. Personal space.” I was thankful that the claws seemed to loosen, some of the pressure inside my skull dissipating, but my hand on his armor felt… strangely at home. Pulling it back quickly, unsure what was going on with me, I was surprised to easily read the look of pain on his plated face. Growing steadily more confused and uneasy, I turned back to Doctor Chakwas in hopes of an explanation or an out… hoping more for the latter as Garrus took a staggering step backwards. Her expression was wide and unreadable as ever, but actually meeting my eyes she seemed to understand enough to get the hint. Stepping up with the data pad, ready for my section of the report, I was perfectly content to take it and not watch the glances I could feel exchanged between them. Even feeling the eyes from Mordin’s side of the room, I was able to ignore them as I focus on getting all the details I could remember onto the data pad, to be sent to both the Council and Alliance High Command.
It was almost therapeutic in a respect, blocking out everything else as the mission took priority. Especially with a report like this, feeling so incredibly unbelievable. That fact made me slightly nervous, but at least now they had less reason to doubt me, with the Reapers breathing down all our necks. That thought gave me the confidence to finish out the report with every last detail, signing it with a finality before handing it back to the Doctor.
“You’ll send this out with your preliminary?”
“Of course, Commander, but…” I met her eyes again and was surprised to see her concern so plainly. Through everything that had been thrown at us, her bedside manner had been impeccable. To break it now gave me nervous pause. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”
Frustration was starting to push its way up, as it always did with those kinds of questions. It was more important to return to the mission than answer numerical questions about my pain levels. “Yes, I feel fine. Some minor pressure sometimes, but not that different from what I’ve felt before.”
“Is there anything that could be triggering it?” Her voice even sounded a little eager, like she hoped to put a finger on something that was practically normal for me ever since Eden Prime.
“It’s seems pretty random to-” instantly the feeling is back, stronger than before and I shut my eyes as I try to still the tremor running up my spine after it.
“-mander? Commander, can you hear me?” As if the feeling had suddenly released me, my eyes snapped back open to find Doctor Chakwas standing much closer than she had been, Omni Tool open and already scanning again. It chimes as my gaze drops to it, but she is more focused on me. “We lost you for a minute there. Are you alright?”
That damn question again, but I tried to keep any annoyance out of my voice. “Yeah, Doc, I’m fine. I feel pretty normal otherwise.” She looks like she didn’t believe me, but also like she can see through my calm demeanor. She always was a little too good at that, but it didn’t mean I was going to like her response.
“I think we should keep a closer watch on you, at least for a few days. Just to make sure it doesn't get worse or cause any trouble for you on mission.”
No, I didn’t like it, but I also knew it was a reasonable assessment. “If you think so, Doc.”
Again she saw right through me. “It will be just like a concussion, Commander, nothing that would intrude too much, and only until we can be sure it’s nothing else.” I nod, reluctantly accepting, and hoist myself off the medical bed, thankful that there was no dizzy feeling like concussions usually give. It should be resolved in no time. “Garrus, you’ll keep a watch at night? I know Turian don’t need quiet as much sleep as Humans do.” Instantly the sharp pressure is back, but I ignore it as I turn towards their conversation. Without even checking with me he’s already nodding his acceptance of the task. “Monitored sleeping, normal quantities unless we see a need to change it, and keep an eye out for anything that might be causing these changes, if it happens again.”
“Of course, Doctor.”
“You’re going to watch me… while I’m sleeping?” They both turn to look at me as if I’m the one who said something strange, but I feel the need to drive my point home as the pressure inside my head gets tighter. “I’m sure EDI will be doing it already, but hey, Doctor’s orders. Sorry if I snore at all.” Hell I could hear the frustration in my voice over the sensations, even if it was starting to feel like listening through water.
“Shepard…” I glance over at Garrus, trying not to squint through the pressure, flaring painfully as he stepped closer again. Thankfully he was still an arm’s length away. “What do you remember about us?”
It was a strange question, but it was hard to think about why. My hand came to rub at my forehead, as if some subconscious thought hoped it would relieve what was inside. “Hell, Garrus, we’re friends, but sharing a room is a little different, don’t you think?”
There was a strange sound that immediately made me think of fear and pain, muddled through the feeling inside my head, and as he stepped just inside my reach again I realized it was coming from him. Glancing up I found what could only be described as utter devastation and shock on his face. His mandibles seemed loose and hanging down, his eyes wide and hyper focused on me. It made me warm and almost excited for a moment, like I had to remind myself I should feel uncomfortable with him in my personal space again. “Shepard, we’ve been-”