Chapter Text
I could feel my heart practically beating out of my chest. I couldn't take it anymore. My thoughts were racing. I wish I knew what I was doing; wish I knew how to handle it. My hands had stopped shaking long ago and that made carrying the suitcase so much easier. I had forgone the headphones this time, my mind too wild to bother with the comfort. Instead my ears were graced with the noise of the airport I had somehow managed to carry myself to.
He wasn’t there; to send me off, to chastise me, to be my voice of reason. Neither of them were. I didn’t expect them to be. I didn’t expect them to follow after me. They knew where I was going. Neither had followed me, or at least made themselves obvious to me. They hadn’t called my name no matter how many times I imagined they would’ve. They hadn’t tried to stop me like I thought they would. They let me go.
Of course they knew. Everyone knew. Everyone knew that was I so hung up on him, that I wanted more than a brief encounter, filled with hazy delight and soft kisses. I didn’t just want it. I needed it. It became what I had to have whether it was the last thing I could wish for. I couldn’t help it.
So I succumbed to it. You know the phrase ‘If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’? This was the embodiment of that idiom. I couldn’t beat the need, so I went off to fulfill it. He said if we changed our minds, we should join them. I planned to do just that. My heart ached in my chest just thinking about it.
Miles and miles of rolling ocean separated us. I planned to cross it. I had to; to get to him.
She had gone on ahead. She went first. I wouldn’t disrespect her by saying that she had less resilience than I did. I could only suppose she had stronger feelings. I understand. Now anyways. Not at the time. At the time, I was in a coma and she had gone. Now, I see it all so much more clearly.
I looked up as the announcer called for my plane, my body having a mind of its own as it pulled me up to my full height. My heels clicked against the linoleum floor in a steady rhythm as my body carried itself to the gate without much instruction from my brain.
I handed over my boarding pass and smiled, not genuinely but politely. Enough to pass as a human being while my mind was in such a state. I made no conversation, my coherency giving itself no opportunity to let it be pulled into questioning. Once I received the pass back, I moved forward, tugging along my suitcase behind me.
The corridor between the gate and the actual plane was laced with people on business trips, bewildered parents dragging at least two suitcases full of souvenirs as well as a motley crew of children and their luggage, the odd student armed with a language book in hand in an attempt to let them sink into the culture and take a stab at the language. The noise was unbearable and without hesitation, my pace quickened as I swiftly maneuvered through the waves of people.
As I got on the plane, it didn’t improve. I quickly found my seat and lifted my suitcase into the luggage compartment over my head before falling into my seat unceremoniously, a small impatient sigh falling from my lips. Seven hours this would take. Seven hours of something short of torture and then I would be able to see him, that was what I told myself.
But would he remember me? Remember the sound of my voice drawling out his name? Remember the glimmer of my eyes as I caught his smile? Remember the golden brown curls he tangled his fingers in when he pressed his lips to mine?
So many questions.
I knew I’d find the answer to them all once I got off this plane.
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I hopped out of my seat eagerly, quickly pulling out my suitcase from the luggage compartment as soon as I could figure out how to work my shaking hands again. Once my fingers curled around the plastic handle and the case was firmly on the ground, I watched the flight attendant pull the door open with a nervous itch racking through me, my foot tapping against the carpet slowly.
I smiled once again to the attendants before moving at the most normal and conspicuous pace I could manage down the corridor between the plane and the airport. Here I was, looking for him. I couldn’t contain my anxiety nor my excitement but I tried. My steps had a bounce to them, my eyes flickered from spot to spot, searching for his dark brown hair in a sea of people. He must’ve known I was coming. I prayed to let him know. I don’t pray for people...Except him.
I had my hopes set up on a pedestal.
In the back of my mind they were ready to be tugged down by reason, a metaphorical string attached to them, ready to be yanked to pull the idealist thoughts into the depths of my emotionally-driven lunacy.
Then, the best thing happened. I saw him. I actually saw him.
He didn’t see me. But that didn’t matter, because he wasn’t looking right at me. He was looking for me. That always brings a smile to my face. I caught a glimpse of his gorgeous features for a minute before he swerved around to face another direction anxiously. I walked closer to him and waited for him to face me.
I smiled as wide and bright as I could muster before wrapping my arms around him tightly, probably a little too tightly but the way he relaxed into it was encouraging. He pulled me even closer than was probably possible and swung me around,his cheerful laugh a pure joy to hear. When we came to a slow stop and he let my feet touch the ground, his nose was buried in my hair, and his hands moved to loosen around my form, never losing that closeness, partially because I didn’t want to move and also because he didn’t want to let me go.
“Nika.” He hummed in my ear softly, and those two syllables just set my heart all aflutter.