Work Text:
Louis’ right hand was feeling the soft curls while his left hand fondled the boy’s soft but muscular back. Louis rubbed himself eagerly against him and intensive kisses were switched between the two naked boys. His hand wandered all over the warm curled bodies. Louis felt his cock harden against the other boy’s thigh and he moaned out loud as—
Louis inhaled sharply as he woke up to his own whimper in the otherwise quiet apartment. A lonely drop of sweat drained from his temple when he sat up on his bed. Louis rasped out and fell back onto his bed – this was the third night in a row that he had had a wet dream about the same guy, and it was getting really fucking frustrating. Louis wanted the dreams to stop, but on the other hand he didn’t. It all started at the very first day of school...
☾☾☾
Eight a.m. and the day was already beautiful: the sun was shining and there wasn’t a single cloud in the sky. The weather was warm, at least warm enough, to mock the students whose first day of school was only beginning.
The college’s front yard was crowded. The school year would officially start in half an hour and people had gathered in small groups around the yard with their friends. Louis stood on the pavement alone and just tried to take it all in. He had never been in a school as big as this one. The enormous brick building had at least five floors and four wings, how’d he find anything in here? Nobody even looked at him as they walked past, not that that would’ve bothered Louis; he was just glad that he didn’t draw much attention.
In his previous schools there'd been a hundred students maximum, but this had at least eight. And here you could also notice the gap between the age groups: freshmen stood alone or in small packs on the grass area and just stared at everything and tried to draw as little attention as possible. Sophomores sat at the bottom of the stairs chatting and made room to every older student that walked past them. Juniors were leaning against the staircase’s crossbars and tried to look old but still respectfully moved out of the way when the seniors made their path to the top of the stairs, near the main doors. The seniors were hanging out at the main doors on the top terrace and every now and then one could hear a massive burst of laughter from where they stood.
Louis was just watching all of this, when he saw a tall figure walking towards the group of seniors on the top terrace. The black skinny jeans, the loose white shirt that was at least four buttons open from the top and the big brown curly hair were immediately the things that caught Louis’ attention. Everyone moved out of his way and Louis could almost feel the tension that his presence caused. The tall boy said something and everyone nodded their heads in agreement. The boy then diverged from the group and walked through the whole pack – at least fifty students moved away as he made his way to another guy standing alone a little way off – Louis hadn't noticed him until now. The boy had a white print t-shirt and light blue skinny jeans, and his black hair had a cool design – short from the sides but longer from the middle, and like the first boy, he had styled it to look thick and decent.
Louis couldn’t get his eyes off of the curly haired boy, he just stared at the position of his long skinny legs, the way his plain white shirt gave a glimpse of his fit tanned upper body and his gravity defying hair. And suddenly, Louis was the one being stared at; the boy had his eyes on him, staring across the yard straight at Louis. He felt guilty although his heart jumped right into his throat when he looked away. Luckily no one else had noticed anything.
“Hey, are you new?” Louis heard a voice behind him and turned around a little bit relieved knowing that if the curly haired boy would look at him again, he would only see the back of his black cotton t-shirt. Now in front of him he saw a blonde, blue-eyed, straight teethed boy smiling at him.
“Just wondering because I haven’t seen you here before and you sure don’t look like a freshman,” the boy continued with a strong Irish accent. Louis wasn’t prepared for this kind of interaction so he just stared at the boy a little bit confused.
“Oh, I’m Niall,” the blonde boy said and straightened his hand for a handshake.
“Louis,” said Louis and shook the boy’s hand.
“So, are you new or what?” Niall asked without any hesitation.
“Uh, yeah I’m new. Moved here from Iowa,” Louis told still trying to get used to the situation.
“From Iowa? Feels like everyone’s always from Iowa,” Niall said, “No offence of course.”
“None taken. I know it’s a cliché.”
“So what grade are you on?” Niall asked.
“Um I’m a sophomore, but I’m a year older than everyone else, I had to do first grade twice,” Louis explained, “mild dyslexia,” he said when Niall looked puzzled. Louis just told these things to a total stranger without even knowing why. Usually he wasn’t the talkative type.
“Oh cool, I’m a sophomore too, think we have a lot of courses together?”
“Suppose we just have to wait and see. So how could you know that I’m new? Like, there are at least ten billion students out here, how can you tell? And you don’t sound like a local either,” Louis added to the question.
“Oh I made the yearbook last year, and I have a very good memory for faces,” Niall explained, “And yeah as you can hear, I moved here from Ireland two years ago. You’d think the accent would fade but when I visit home it just comes back again.”
“Oh cool,” was the only thing that Louis said, oh cool. Like, he had nothing else to say.
They stood in silence for a couple of minutes. Then Louis thought of something: “Who’s that?” he asked and pointed out the curly haired boy, who was still standing exactly at the same place as ten minutes ago.
“That? I don’t think you want to deal with him, and even if you would, you couldn’t,” Niall said looking at the boy.
“Yeah okay, but who is that?” Louis waved the warning away.
“That’s Harry... Styles. A senior, and the most popular guy in the school. Moved here from England before high school. Not exactly a social butterfly, so no one actually knows how he can be so popular, until you meet him of course,” Niall told.
“Until you meet him? What do you mean?” Louis asked.
“He’s… strange. You know like, he doesn’t talk much, doesn’t go to parties, doesn’t hang out anywhere. He’s just in school. But when you meet him, it’s like, he has that charisma, feels like he knows exactly what you’re thinking about and his eyes see straight through you. It sounds ridiculous when I say that it’s hard to form words when he waits for you to say something, but that’s exactly what it is,” Niall tried to explain.
“Does he have a girlfriend?” The question just sort of popped out of Louis’ mouth before he managed to shut it.
“Girlfriend? No. Just hangs out with Zayn Malik, the guy who stands right next to him, no one knows exactly where Zayn’s family is from, but he has born in the US and lived here his whole life. I’m sorry but this much asking makes you sound a little bit… you know, not that it would mind though.”
“Oh that’s because I am, gay,” Louis dropped, "That's what you meant right?" He sort of enjoyed telling it to people because everyone always went quiet for a little while before starting to eagerly tell how they didn’t have anything against LGBT+ people and thought they were great ("as long as they don't hit on me" nervous laughter).
“Yes, alright,” said Niall. Nothing more.
Then the school bell rang.
☾☾☾
The school building’s large lobby was crowded as everyone tried to violently push themselves into the even larger hall and find their seats.
Louis’ body was flat so he just weaved through the moving crowd and found himself a seat nearby a large window. A few seconds later the blonde Irishman sat next to him.
“So, what’s this all about?” Louis asked trying to save the conversation from sinking, although he wasn’t exactly sure if that was even possible with Niall.
“Uh, so, yeah…” Niall turned to talk to Louis after gazing through the crowd, “The principal gives a welcome-speech and officially opens the school year and then everyone goes to their own home classes with their class instructor. Which class are you on?”
Louis took the wrinkled paper out of his jacket’s pocket. “12 C, and the classroom is…” he said and turned the paper, “208-B”.
“Oh I’m on 12 A, but your home class is right next to mine, I’ll show it to you,” Niall smiled and then started to leer the crowd again.
Louis looked out of the window; the ridiculously blue sky and the white clouds that had appeared, waved at him as he sat in a dusty hall surrounded by too many people. He thought of the summer that had past – the lazy, hot, boring summer. Louis looked at himself: blue not-too-skinny jeans, black Vans’, white Obey tank top and black leather jacket, which was way too hot for the day.
Louis had specifically styled his hair – not anything too fancy, but not like he would’ve just gotten out of bed. Louis had also grown a little bit of a stubble, not like a truck driver beard, more like a light David Beckham beard, or at least he wanted to think it looked like that.
Suddenly, when he woke up from his thoughts and lifted his eyes from his shoes to see if the principal would perhaps start the speech, his heart skipped a beat; the seniors were the last to enter the hall and other students had left the first six rows empty for them. Last of them was Harry, who walked in behind everyone else, and when Louis’ eyes caught him walking in, the tall curly haired boy looked right back at him. Louis didn’t know how to react, his mouth opened a little bit, but luckily no words came out. The penetrating, dark look lasted only for a couple of seconds until Harry walked past the row Louis was sitting on. Louis could hear his heart beating and had no idea why. Harry was just another popular guy, probably an asshole, but there was something about him that had everyone on their toes. He anticipated if Harry would give him another shivering glance, but the moment was already gone when the boy sat down on a place that was reserved for him on the first seat of the front row.
☾☾☾
The first week in the new school dragged on slowly. Niall hung on to Louis telling him almost everything he needed to know around the place. How’d he find the right classes, where were the cleanest toilets, where all sorts of groups hung out, where not to sit in the school cafeteria etc. In his classes he was a bit of a loner, because he wasn’t the type of guy to make friends just by going and talking to people. Of course Niall sat with him on lunch breaks and when they had classes together, but otherwise Louis was on his own. During the lunch breaks, he always glanced at the crowd trying to spot a tall figure with curly hair, but didn’t seem to find Harry anywhere.
On Friday Louis found out why there was no Harry: Niall was just babbling about still waiting for his books from the mail and not having enough money to buy new sneakers, and then he said that the seniors wouldn't start their semester until next week. Louis wasn’t perfectly sure how Niall got to the subject, because he wasn’t exactly listening, but now he caught Louis’ attention. Niall just chattered on without even realizing that Louis hadn’t listened to him for the past ten minutes. Louis liked Niall; the boy was outgoing, chatty, happy and sometimes funny without Louis having to say anything. It was nice.
It was 2 p.m. on the first Friday, and Louis was heading for his last class. Almost everyone had already left, but he had been transferred to the juniors' math class, skipping one year of basic mathematics, because the principal in his old, and new, school thought it would be best for everyone to fast-track him a little since he was very good with numbers. So, this juniors’ math class happened to take place after 2 p.m. on Friday.
Louis walked into the class and chose his place, again, in the front row by the window. The sun heated his back, and he could hear the chattering of the last students leaving the building, from the open window. The air inside the classroom was stale. Everyone around him was yawning tiredly.
A tall man in his early 40’s, Mr White (which was an ironic name for a black man) (and also because Louis happened to love Breaking Bad), entered the classroom and closed the door behind him. Louis instantly liked this math teacher more than his previous one, who was a boring old lady. This man had an expensive blue shirt, white smile, loud laughter and a relaxed way to teach. Everyone liked him, because he was closer to a real human being than every other teacher there was.
The clock was too slow for anyone to handle, and when the bell rang at 3:30 p.m., everyone packed their bags as quickly as humanly possible as Mr White declared that for the next lesson he would decide their pairs for the rest of the semester. Louis took his bag and quickly walked down the hallways and down the stairs to the yellow school bus, which was waiting for the last students in front of the school yard.
Louis walked to the back of the bus as always, where he could sit in peace. The last bus of the day was always quiet, everyone was too tired to start up a conversation – or move for that matter. The bus pulled over at the bus stop, which was near Louis’ place. He always thanked the bus driver, because he thought it was a nice thing to do. Then he got out of the yellow bus and walked half a block to the building where his apartment was.
Louis’ parents had bought him a flat in the part of the city, which was near the city central, but not quite. It was probably unnecessarily expensive, because Louis didn’t actually care where he lived as long as he had a roof over his head and a bed to sleep in. But it was always nice, of course, to have an above average apartment in the heart of the city, where there was some life.
Louis opened the door to his flat and threw his school bag in the corner of the large room. He turned on his stereos and just fell on his bed, thinking about the first week of school. Niall was nice. The teachers were nice enough. Harry Styles was definitely not nice. Louis couldn’t wait until Monday, because that was when the seniors would officially come back to school. That’s when Harry Styles would come back to school. Did he even study? And what grades did he get? Not average, that was for sure. Harry Styles was everything but average.
☾☾☾
Every voice in the classroom was quiet. English was about to start, and the substitute teacher was scary enough to keep the noise down even when she wasn’t present. In any second now she’d walk into the class, close the door behind her and nobody would say a word for the next 75 minutes. No one dared to speak to her using her first name, Louise. Everyone just called her Ms Teasdale, if anyone even had the guts to speak during her presence.
Now the classroom door closed and all the eyes inside turned to stare at the man who closed it. When everyone realized it wasn’t Ms Teasdale, they just continued chatting. Louis looked at the man who put his files on the desk and started opening his laptop. He had brown hair and a beard, pink lips and thick eyebrows. Definitely under 30. The off-white cotton shirt and blue jeans showed that he was in a good shape physically and actually was pretty good looking, too. Sadly it seemed like he had no grasp of the class, while everyone just kept chattering completely ignoring the fact that the class had already started.
The teacher stood up and walked in front of his desk. He looked at the class waiting for them to be quiet. However, that didn’t happen, so he tried to get the class’ attention:
“Excuse me. E-excuse me!”
Nobody listened. Then the teacher did something that Louis was actually quite impressed by. He went back to his desk, pulled out scissors from his drawer, put them on the top of the blackboard and started pressing them against the board while pulling them downwards. The screaking voice was awful; the second it started, everyone held their heads and tried to search for the source of it.
The teacher pulled the scissors all the way down the blackboard and then swiftly threw them back to the drawer, kicking it shut with his knee.
“Ow, what the hell man?” said the guy in the front row. He sat lazily and looked so smug, that Louis decided not to like him.
“Thank you, now, before I say anything else, I inform you that when that door closes…” he pointed at the closed classroom door ignoring the first-row’s lazy ass, “I am in charge. I will do the talking. And that means: no cell phones.” The class was quiet.
“Now, ladies and gentlemen: welcome to my psychology class. My name is Liam Payne, and I will be your teacher for the next semester, and hopefully after that as well. You can call me Liam, Mr Payne, teacher or whatever best pleases you,” the teacher said and wrote his name on the blackboard.
“Fart brain pleases me, what if I call you that?” said the lazy ass and looked very pleased with himself.
“Well Brian, then I will call you by your middle name, Oswald. Or would you prefer Ernst instead?” Mr Payne answered without even looking at the boy and the whole class chuckled. Brian Oswald Ernst didn’t answer.
When the teacher turned back to the blackboard, Louis noticed the tattoos on the man’s hand: some writing on the back of his left arm, and four arrows on the other. There was also a big feather on his right arm. They were actually really cool.
“Okay, first, open page fourteen from your books,” said Mr Payne, “Brian, where’s your book, if I may ask?”
“Don’t have it.”
“And when will you get it?”
“Don’t know.”
That guy, Brian, was seriously getting on Louis’ nerves. And apparently Mr Payne’s too.
☾☾☾
The cafeteria was noisy, and Louis had a hard time trying to hear and understand what Niall was babbling about. The boy was sweet but awfully talkative. The line was moving slowly ahead, and Louis grabbed a plate and a glass onto his tray.
“What’s on today’s menu?” asked Niall and tried to reach out his head to look forward in the line.
“Black root roasted frog legs, stuffed shrimps, butter crème and salmon caviar,” said Louis jokingly and Niall chuckled. Fortunately Louis had said it loud enough so Niall heard him the first time. “Just kidding it’s nuggets aga-“ the boy’s voice died in his throat when he turned back just to face brown curls in front of his face.
A tall curly haired boy had leaned over Louis’ tray to take some water and if Louis hadn’t have turned his head before stepping forward in the line, his head would now be in Harry Styles’ armpit. Not that that would've been an awfully terrible place to be, probably.
Louis’ heartbeats quickened and he was sure that his face was all red. He could smell the shower gel and shampoo Harry used. Louis didn’t say anything, just stared at the tall boy’s side profile. The moment lasted only a few seconds, but before Harry took his water and walked away, he glanced at Louis with a little sparkle in his green eyes.
The moment was over all too quickly and Louis had to take a few extra steps to catch the end of the line, his knees feeling like spaghetti. Then he looked at Niall, who formed the word scary with his lips. Louis nodded.
Louis thought of that few seconds all through his biology class, which was boring anyway. The teacher looked like a frog, but the frog he drew on the blackboard, didn’t.
Louis thought about the brown curly hair that smelled like soap and musk and man, and the determined eyes that were greener than green. He thought about the red and blue flannel shirt, and how big it was and how much he wanted to wear it and lay in bed naked wearing it.
☾☾☾
The next morning Louis stood in front of his mirror looking at himself. He had cleaned his Vans’ and he was wearing a new pair of light blue skinny jeans he had bought yesterday. Louis was struggling whether to wear a tight white tank top and a red Obey snapback or a dark red cotton shirt and style his hair properly. He chose the second option and got the hair mousse.
Finally he slipped two black braided bracelets around his wrist, grabbed his school bag and left for school.
The first lesson was math, which was okay. Louis was good at it. He sat in his normal place and tiredly watched out the window. Morning classes weren’t his strong suit. Apparently not anyone else’s either judging by the amount of coffee mugs, energy drinks and yawns surrounding him. Louis just sat in his place staring at nothing, until the bell rang and Mr White stepped in.
“Good morning class, I guess we can go straight to the point today: I have decided your partners for the next semester…” Oh god no, Louis had forgotten this awful event, he wasn’t a morning person, but even less was he a partner person.
“…We can get this over with. I read the names, and you remember who you are with and then change the seats so we can get to today’s topic as quickly as possible. So…” and he started to speak out names that Louis had never heard before. Well, he wasn’t so interested either.
The teacher was getting to the end of the list and Louis hadn’t heard his name been called yet.
“Anna Bones and Emily Grey. Ben Patrick and Skye Carlings, and last but not least Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles. Okay that would be all, now you can move to your seats,” Mr White clapped his hands and everyone started gathering their things.
Louis didn’t move. There had to be a mistake. Why would Harry be in this math class? It didn’t make sense. Unless the teacher had said the wrong name. Or Louis was just imagining it all and he had actually said some other name like Harriet or Heather. Either way, Louis didn’t dare to look around, his heart was pumping and the adrenaline rush made his hand shake just a little bit, so he had to put them in his lap.
And then, well then Harry Styles sat next to him and put his books on the table. Louis carefully glanced at him just to be sure that really was him.
Mr White approached their desk and leaned forward to talk to the two of them in private.
“So here’s the deal: Mr Styles here has to take this course again, because he didn’t pass it the first time and Mr Tomlinson, you are going to be his tutor,” Louis was going to open his mouth to say something, but was relieved when Mr White interrupted him, because he didn’t really know what he was going to say. The principal of this school and mentioned that there would be some extra work related to moving up a grade but...
“Louis, I have seen your math grades and you are the right man to do this. Get Harry to pass this course and I will consider you to be the one to have an opportunity for the math scholarship when you leave here,” the teacher said. Louis just nodded, you can’t say no to that. And you don’t say no to that. So he didn’t.
The first 20 minutes of the lesson Mr White taught the day’s topic. Louis didn’t dare to move, he tried to breathe as little as possible to draw as little attention as possible. Harry freaking Styles sat right next to him. Louis felt the warmth of his body on his own skin and just stared firmly at the blackboard. So did Harry. The subject was easy, Louis new that, he could do almost any exercise from the book and get it right. What he couldn’t do, is understand that Harry was actually bad at math. So bad that he hadn’t passed this course the first year. How’d he pass the others then?
“Now turn to page seventeen and start doing exercises from 45 forward,” said the teacher.
They turned to the right page and Louis read the first three texts. These would take him fifteen minutes combined. Harry opened his notebook and took an empty page. So did Louis. He turned a little bit to Harry’s side so it would be easier to communicate.
First it was quiet, when Harry read the first exercise. Then when he grabbed his pen, Louis opened his mouth:
“So… do you know how to do this?”
Harry lifted his head to face Louis’ eyes. Louis didn’t know what to do when the green eyes stared straight into his, so he just lifted his eyebrows. Harry looked back at the book.
“No”. That was the first time Louis heard Harry speaking and it caught him by surprise. His voice was deep and raspy, and British. Everything about Harry was deep and raspy and still Louis didn’t see that coming. He could hear his accent from this one short word. He inhaled quickly and then leaned a bit forward to Harry.
“Well, look at the numbers,” Louis said and pointed them with his pen.
Instead Harry looked at him. Really peculiarly, like Louis was the math problem to be solved. Louis looked back at Harry and tapped the book with the point of his pencil.
“Look at the numbers,” he repeated and Harry looked. “What do you see?”
“Numbers”. Oh don’t be a cunt, Louis wanted to say, but instead he said:
“No, you see y2 here and y1 here,” he explained and pointed out the numbers, “and x2 and x1 here. Now, do you know what to do?”
Harry nodded and started writing numbers down. With a ridiculously perfect handwriting, how else? Louis’ eyes wandered down to Harry’s clothes, he was wearing a light blue blouse which was unbuttoned approximately four buttons from the top. He had black and silver necklaces, which were actually really cool with him wearing them. But the most important observation was his tattoos: he had two birds and a large butterfly tattooed on his chest. Also there were some many different tattoos on his left hand and collarbone. Louis was surprised, not by the fact that Harry had tattoos, because Louis had too, but the choice of pictures he had. However Louis’ thoughts were interrupted when Harry took his hand off the paper and started wondering the math problem.
“Do you know what to do next?” Louis asked and looked at what Harry had written.
“Good you have calculated the numbers, now what? You can’t use them if they are this big”.
Harry just stared at the paper and Louis stared at Harry.
“Divide?”
“Uh, no. Do you see this number right here?” Louis asked and again Harry took his time thinking.
“Yeah, now mark down the answer and put it in the calculator it, you should get a decimal,” Louis advised and calculated the answer. So did Harry.
“Okay, now you have that number, but that’s not the final answer. This is what you want to know, so mark this down and what do you do with this number?” Louis continued and the whole class went like this. Harry wasn’t that bad in math, but then again he was. Pretty terrible.
☾☾☾
It was safe to say that Louis was terrified. He didn’t know what to do or how to be with Harry. He was so… scary. Like he’d just stare straight into Louis’ eyes for no reason, and read his thoughts. It was like he knew what Louis was thinking about and that made Louis feel very uncomfortable.
Harry didn’t talk any full sentences, a few words here and there. Louis just avoided him everywhere, even in the math class he tried to dodge all the glances he got. But the strangest thing were the looks he got in the cafeteria, or in the hallway or in the parking lot. Louis probably made it sound worse than it actually was, because okay, Harry didn’t stare at him all the time. But more than once had Louis noticed Harry looking at him from the other side of the school yard.
Louis felt confused: he was flattered, of course, that he had the attention of Harry Styles, who was, not only, drop dead gorgeous and looked like a model, but had also this charisma, that made people forget how to talk or breathe. So, needless to say that Louis was confused.
☾☾☾
A couple of weeks later Louis was in math class with Harry. He thought Harry was bad at the other subjects, but this was absolutely the worst. For Louis this was obviously only slightly challenging, but Harry was struggling even to get the first exercise right. And it had almost been 45 minutes already.
Mr White came over to their table and looked at the erased and wrinkled paper Harry had in front of him. He sighed.
“This was the hardest topic, last time as well.” Louis looked at him and the teacher continued:
“Look, I think you two can figure this out. It just needs some more work okay? You can study after school too,” he said.
“But the school is closed after 4 p.m., there’s no way we can properly train in half an hour,” Louis said and looked at Mr White.
“Well, I guess you just have to figure something out," he shrugged and went to help others.
“So..., you free tonight?” Harry asked and Louis winced a little.
“What? Uh, yeah. I think so yeah,” he stuttered.
“Good, let’s go to your place, I’ll drive you,” Harry said and Louis had to struggle to keep calm. Harry? In Louis’ apartment? The two of them alone in his apartment? What? No? Well obviously really deep down this was exactly what Louis had wanted, he just didn’t want to admit it to himself.
“Yeah, sure, okay,” he heard himself saying. What?! No! No, no, no, no, no! This was so wrong, so very wrong! Louis tried to keep calm or even to look calm when in reality he was very far from it.
☾☾☾
Louis had never been to the school’s parking lot, because he didn’t own a car. And the reason he didn’t own a car, was that there was no permanent parking space near his apartment. And if he’d let his parents buy him a car it would be ridiculously overpriced and flashy. So no, he didn’t own a car.
Harry definitely did though. Amazed was mildly expressed when they reached his car and Harry unlocked the doors. On the school’s modest parking space there was a shining, all black, Audi A7 RS 7 Sportback.
“Wow,” was the only thing that came out of Louis’ mouth. He just stared at the car, which was outrageously incongruous and so distinguished and fancy.
“Get in,” said Harry, and Louis had never seen him so pleased of himself. The brat didn’t even try to hide it.
“Some car,” said Louis when he sat to the front seat.
“It's okay,” answered Harry, who had gone back to being serious.
“Okay? Okay? Do you not realize that you are sitting in a moving masterpiece? This is the ultimate car. She's so fine I don’t know how to sit because it makes me feel uncomfortable and I’m afraid I’ll hurt her someway,” Louis had never talked this much in a row to Harry (to anyone, really), and now there was a tiny smile on the corner of the boy’s mouth, which he tried to hide.
Louis had thought that the ride would be uncomfortable. He was right on that one. Harry asked what courses Louis had and why, what did he want to do for a living and stuff like that. Louis tried to keep his answers as short as possible, because he would’ve wanted to just listen to Harry’s deep, smooth voice, all covered in British. Louis was a little bit awkward at first but when he got used to listening his own voice, he ended up talking about himself quite a lot. Harry just kept his serious eyes firmly on the road and nodded every once in a while.
“So what courses do you have?” Louis asked, because he didn’t want to babble the whole ride.
“The courses I need,” answered Harry.
“For what?” asked Louis, because he didn’t figure out anything else to say.
“To pass school.”
“So what are you going to do after school?”
“Work.”
“Where?”
“At work.” This whole conversation started to feel a bit pointless.
“You know it’s really hard to keep up a conversation with you,” Louis said.
“I've been told.”
Louis just sighed. "Take this turn."
Harry parked the car in front of the building that Louis lived in.
☾☾☾
The door closed behind them and Louis threw his school bag next to his bed.
“Come in, please,” he said when Harry was still standing in the doorway.
“Cool place,” said Harry and looked around.
“Thanks,” answered Louis and sat on his bed taking his math books out of his bag.
“Who decorated this?”
“Uh, I did.”
“This’s really nice,” Harry said and the honest tone of his voice got shivers going up Louis’ spine. He didn’t know what to say, so he just blushed and nodded.
☾☾☾
Half an hour later they were still stuck on the first exercise. Now they weren’t in a classroom and Louis could feel Harry’s frustration. It just covered his slim body, his perfectly curly hair was dripping with it and his model face stared at paper.
“So look here, that’s what’s been done in the example. Now compare it with what you have here. See? It’s almost the same,” Louis tried to lead Harry on. He wrote some numbers on the paper.
“No…” Louis said as softly as possible, because he didn’t want to make Harry any more frustrated than he already was. Harry just erased the numbers, looked again and wrote new ones.
“That’s right, okay, now we are at the end,” Louis said, and even though Harry had barely spoken three words during his time at Louis’ apartment, he could see pride in Harry’s eyes.
“This is the easiest part, but you have to be careful not to-“ Louis continued when Harry wrote the answer.
“Yeah, careful not to mix up these two letters here. But you didn’t. That’s the correct answer, congratulations,” Louis smiled.
Harry just nodded, the smile on his mouth was so tiny it was hardly noticeable, but Louis saw it.
A couple of exercises later Harry and Louis had drifted from one topic to another. Actually Louis had done all the talking, while Harry had been listening carefully eyebrows furrowed and casually pushing his wild curly hair back into a messy quiff. Something in Harry’s green stare had Louis’ heart stumbling. A few times he made the mistake of looking back at Harry and had instantaneously forgotten what he was saying.
How was it possible to be that attractive? Like, Louis had seen hot men before it was just that… Harry had this, this charisma, this natural feature that attracted Louis – and everyone else in that matter. He just had everything; everything was at its place.
So there they were, sitting on Louis’ bed. Harry still staring at Louis, a little too close for Louis to breathe. And for a few seconds Louis was just staring back at Harry – admiring. He was thinking what would happen if he’d just feel Harry’s hair, or lightly stroked his man cheek. He was just thinking about all the inappropriate things to say to the extremely hot guy sitting on his bed.
“I have to go now,” said Harry an hour later, when they had finished two more exercises.
“O-okay,” Louis stuttered.
“You have time tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Good. I see you at school,” Harry said, packed his bag and left.
Louis sat on his bed and it was like Harry never even was there. This had definitely been the strangest afternoon in Louis’ life so far. He couldn’t understand how it was even possible that Harry Styles was just sitting on his bed with him.
☾☾☾
Later that evening Louis closed his eyes and pictured Harry’s face in front of him. The brown, curly hair, which defied gravity in every way possible. His green eyes, which were so pervasive they burnt a hole in Louis’ soul. The long nose and furrowing eyebrows, and the lips: the pink lips, which too rarely formed any words or smiles. The lips Louis was so afraid to kiss.
Louis could never do it; Harry was too scary, too perfect. Still the temptation was almost unbearable. The daydreams about lying in a big soft bed with Harry, wearing his big clothes and feeling his kisses, and his body. Harry whispering into his ear with his smooth, deep voice. Louis sighed.
☾☾☾
The next morning Louis took over an hour to figure out what to wear. Harry was coming tonight, again. And Louis was so excited. It was stupid - stupid and childish to be so excited about something like this, but Louis couldn’t help himself.
He had missed his morning class, when he finally walked into the school building wearing red Converse, black skinny jeans, black and red flannel shirt and under it a white print tank top, which was so loose it (the first time ever) gave a glimpse of his tattoos. He had also done his hair properly.
☾☾☾
The school day felt like an eternity. Even though Louis had missed his morning class, lunch break was still like a gift from the gods. Niall’s eyes widened, when he saw Louis’ tattoos.
“Wow, those are really cool.”
“Thanks.”
“When did you get them?”
“On different occasions.”
“Well yeah, okay,” said Niall when he realized that Louis wasn’t too eager to talk. The blondie still looked at them. Louis didn’t mind. He hadn’t told Niall about Harry. About anything to be exact, and he felt just a little bit bad about it – they were friends after all. Still, Louis didn’t think Niall had to know.
There was this one thing that bothered Louis. He was attracted to Harry in every way possible: mentally, emotionally, physically, but he didn’t know what Harry was attracted to. In other words – Louis didn’t know if Harry was gay or not. He hadn’t actually thought about it because he had had other things in mind. But now he did. This was eventually the most important thing.
Now was the time for panic and self-hatred. How could Louis forget such an important thing? Of course it mattered if Harry was gay or not. This place, to be honest, wasn’t really a place for gay pride. What if Harry was straight, as he most likely was? This conclusion killed all Louis’ hopes about him. What now? Harry would come over to Louis’ place, do a couple of math exercises and then leave. Nothing would happen, nothing would ever happen between the two of them. Suddenly, Louis couldn’t taste the food he was eating. He put the fork down and just stared at the corner of his tray. He didn’t want Harry to come over anymore, it felt pointless. Why meet when nothing was going to happen?
Someone walked past him. A blue sleeve touched his elbow. Louis smelled soap and musk and his heart rate went through the roof. Harry didn’t even look at him. Just walked past so near Louis that his shirt touched him. There would’ve been plenty of room to avoid touching. A little spark of hope woke up in Louis. Niall hadn’t even noticed.
☾☾☾
It was 8 p.m. when Louis found himself going on and on about how he had gotten his first cat from the roof, and how his little sister had been a faster runner than Louis from the start. They had finished three exercises during the four hours they had been in Louis’ apartment, and now Harry was listening carefully and quietly what Louis had to say about his childhood in the suburbs. Earlier that evening Harry had complimented Louis’ tattoos and Louis had blushed just a little bit.
“Okay, your turn. What was your childhood like?” said Louis quickly, when he realized he had been talking for about a half an hour already, and how ridiculous he must be right now. This wasn’t the reason Harry was here, but his presence affected Louis like no one had ever before. He just started to talk, about anything, really. Maybe it was because he was nervous, but it didn’t feel like it.
Now the fading sunlight and the dim light from Louis’ lamp settled on Harry’s face. It made him look so mysterious, so pensive, so dark. The only thing stopping Louis from getting a piece of that, was the fear, the respect for Harry. He was almost too afraid to move. Like anything Louis would do seemed too ordinary to do in the presence of Harry. It was all in Louis’ head. Harry just shrugged.
“It was okay.” Uh, okay. What are you supposed to say to that?
“Where did you live?” Louis asked to keep up the conversation.
“In a house.”
“Oh, in a house? Well that sounds really charming, did it have a door and windows too? It’s really fascinating to hear that you lived in a real house and not in a box or in a zoo,” said Louis and the sarcasm just oozed from his words. That made Harry smile just a little bit. Still more than Louis had ever seen before, so he was proud of himself and smiled back.
“I have a mum," Harry said totally spontaneously, which surprised Louis a little. The British accent was still there, it was marvelous.
“Great, where is she now?”
“Home,” Harry furrowed his eyebrows. Louis decided not to ask, it was better to be discreet. And now it was quiet again. Louis could hear himself breathe. Harry just sat there, totally quiet, looking at him. Like always. Then Louis’ decided to confront him.
“Why are you always looking at me?”
“Is that forbidden?” asked Harry.
“You didn’t answer my question."
“What was the question again?” Harry sounded amused. Louis was getting mad.
“Why are you always looking at me like that? Watching me like that? Like you want to eat me. Like I am you next prey. Like you’re trying to cut me in half with that look. Would you stop it, because it’s weird, it’s very distracting, and it makes me feel very uncomfortable. It’s not that I’m not flattered, because you’re so ridiculously attractive in every way humanly possible, and you’re giving me rides home in your super masculine luxury car and dressing the way you do and it’s just not fair for me, because when you look at me like that, I don’t know what to do. Is there something wrong with me? Is there ketchup on my cheek or butterflies in my hair or did I come to school in my pajamas by accident? It would be great if you could just stop being all Heedless Harry and actually give me some answers, because this is getting really fucking frustrating for me to handle-“
Louis had no idea where all this was coming from, and more importantly, how to stop. All he realized was that suddenly his lips weren’t forming any more words. His back was against his bed sheets, Harry’s tall figure was above him and he was being kissed.
Harry’s hand was on Louis’ back, and the other one in his hair. Louis had never been so shocked in his life. It took him a few seconds to actually understand that this was happening. There was no question about Harry being gay now. Or bi. Or pan. Or just curious.
Louis put his hand in Harry’s hair, because he wanted to know what it felt like. Harry’s pink lips kissed Louis’ over and over again (or so it felt like) and Louis just kissed back. Shivers went down his spine and his head was spinning. He thought he saw through the sky and the stars for a second. There was a little bit of tongue, a little bit of touching, before Harry pulled away and was expressionless again. Like if nothing had happened.
Louis’ cheeks were red and his lips wet. Harry looked just about normal, except the hair Louis had grabbed was out of place.
“I have to go,” Harry said not-so-casually. He grabbed his bag and gave Louis a quick look. “There's nothing wrong with you,” he said, and then went out the door.
What the actual fuck.
☾☾☾
Harry didn’t turn up to school the next week. Louis didn’t dare to think that it was because of him, but the thought crossed his mind once or twice. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss: the taste of Harry, his soft lips and curly hair and the way he kissed Louis – took him on the bed. All that had Louis’ heart racing every time he thought about it.
Louis wanted to see Harry. And he didn’t. It would be too weird, right? They barely talked to each other. He hadn’t told Niall, should he? Louis wanted to see the way Harry would react to his presence. Could he avoid Louis? Louis decided to remove these selfish thoughts from his head – maybe Harry had a family emergency, Louis would feel so dumb.
Mr. White was naturally unpleased with Harry’s absence. He would fall so much behind in his math works, and he was right. That meant more work to Louis, later. He was a little bit anxious about Harry possibly coming over again. It would be awkward. Would Harry just act like nothing’s happened? Or would he maybe kiss Louis again? The thought made Louis’ feet tingle.
☾☾☾
Now Louis woke up from the third wet dream about Harry. He laid in his bed staring at the ceiling, maybe it would give him some answers – how to deal with the fact that it was Monday again? What to do if Harry would be in school? And if he wasn’t?
So again, Louis took his time choosing what to wear and doing his hair. Nearly missed the bus but still made it. Slept over the first class and after that went into the huge library.
He took out his study books and started doing some homework, for once. Ten minutes later he found himself doodling on the corner of his notebook. It would’ve been funny and adorable if he wouldn’t’ve been so terrible at drawing. And again he stared at the table.
“Hey! Haven’t seen you in a while, what’s new?” Niall came into the library throwing his bag on one of the seats and sitting down. He seemed a little bit anxious.
Harry Styles kissed me, said there’s nothing wrong with me and then took off without saying anything and has also been absent for a week. “Nothing much. How about you?”
“Umm, well there’s this guy…” Niall got straight to the topic. Obviously. Louis was about to mention the fact that Niall had never told him about him being non-heterosexual, but thought the better of it. Louis hadn't told everything to Niall, so he shouldn't expect anything else from him.
“Oh, do tell.” Anything to get Harry off his head.
“Well, uh, he's a teacher," Niall's face went red.
Louis' jaw dropped. "No."
"Oh yeah," Niall had a smirk on his face, Louis didn't want to ask.
"Who?" Was the obvious question.
"Uhh... let's just say he's new. I showed him around at the start of the school year and..., well things led to another."
"Niall, you little slut," Louis smirked. "So do you like like him or...?"
"Oh man, I dunno. I mean Liam's great–"
"Liam? Liam Payne? You are having a student-teacher affair with Liam Payne the English teacher?" Louis couldn't believe the words he was hearing.
"Shh! That's exactly the "but"! He's a teacher and I'm a student. How can it ever work outside of school?" Niall looked desperate.
"I mean..., honestly I don't know. But I'm sure you'll figure something out." Louis shrugged. "I'm sorry I can't be too helpful. But, like, if it's meant to be then–"
"But how will I know if it's meant to be?" Niall covered his face with his hands.
"I guess you just know."
☾☾☾
Harry was at school. Louis could hear Mr White’s tone rising in the math class before Louis even got to the actual hallway.
“…not my business, but you’ve been absent for three classes straight. It’s going to be very hard for you to catch up. We can all just pray that Mr Tomlinson’s patience with you is longer than mine."
The rant would’ve probably lasted for days if Louis wouldn’t’ve entered the class that moment.
“Ah, there he is, the man of the hour. You have a lot of work to do with this one," said Mr White and returned to his desk looking a little bit upset. Harry didn’t look at Louis, so Louis didn’t look at Harry. Louis calmly walked past the teacher’s desk and sat down.
Harry looked normal, in his stunning, breathtaking, dark, mysterious way. Nothing unusual. Louis just sat there, didn’t know what to do.
“So… I guess we have a lot of work to do." Louis winced a little when he heard Harry’s deep British voice. It took him a few seconds too long to answer.
“Yeah, yeah," he said and realized how stupid that must’ve sounded, so he added: “Any ideas?”
“Plenty."
Louis didn’t know what that meant so he just sat there.
☾☾☾
And yet another week passed by without neither of the boys saying a word. It was like Louis was back with his own kind again. Sitting with Niall in the cafeteria, trying stealthily to gaze into Harry’s direction while the blonde Irishman was telling him about the substitute teacher in history and blushing when Louis vaguely asked about the inappropriate affair going on.
Harry didn’t give Louis anything, not a brief heart aching look, not an accidental touch, he didn’t even walk past Louis. He barely even talked during math classes. Just looked at the paper, like it would disappear if you stared at it hard enough or something. And Louis was desperate. What should he do? What could he do?
Louis was desperate for Harry. He was desperate to see those green eyes looking back at him, making his knees weak, his feet all mushy and his head light and hazy. Louis was desperate to smell the soap and the musk and to just fall asleep and wake up to it. And he was desperate for touch, to feel Harry’s hand tucking Louis’ hair and his curly hair pressing onto his cheek.
Louis wanted to lay in his bed wearing nothing but Harry’s big shirts and sweaters, listening to playlists all day long while braiding his curly hair. Drink tea and exchange wet, open mouth kisses; Harry gently sucking his lower lip and being so gentle – touching Louis like he was a pretty porcelain doll. Maybe fuck a little. Maybe a lot. Maybe feel Harry’s long fingers and pink lips around his cock. Maybe moan his name out loud. And maybe smell Harry even after he’d gone home. He wanted Harry to ruin him. He had wanted that from the very first time he saw the dark tall boy walking on the school yard. And so what if Louis went home and thought about all that while he was in the shower hand wrapped around himself. So what if he whispered Harry’s name when he leaned against the shower wall. So what if his head was filled with these pictures about Harry and him. So what? Nobody had to know.
☾☾☾
The next Monday Louis had stayed after class to talk about maybe picking a few more courses in English, because apparently he had “some talent” in writing. Mr Payne had quoted Louis’ essay in class and asked him to stay after. The teacher thought that Louis should definitely keep studying and writing because he “had the idea and the touch”. So Louis had promised to talk to the student counselor about it.
Now he walked through the empty white hallways, thinking about the ways he’d get home, because obviously he had missed the bus. The next one going downtown would pass the school’s bus stop in an hour.
He wasn’t walking too fast, partly because it was freezing cold outside – the fall had come. And it wasn’t the ridiculously photogenic Tumblr fall; it was more like head aching grey sky depressing kind of fall. Not aesthetic at all.
Louis turned into the biggest hallway that led to the main doors, when someone grabbed his hand and his back was pressed against the cold grey lockers. He saw a pair of green eyes in the corner of his field of vision before feeling Harry’s mouth on his. Big hands nailed him against the lockers and held him down while the dark figure above him kissed Louis roughly. Before he could make any sound, any motion, the hands were gone, and so were the lips, leaving Louis dizzy and confused.
But Harry wasn’t gone, no. He was standing right in front of Louis paralyzing him from head to toe. Louis’ tried to combine his thoughts to a one big picture involving Harry kissing him and now standing there so close. Too close for Louis to think. Harry’s eyes were dark, determined. His hair was hanging loose on his forehead.
“Let’s go," Louis heard him say and then he was pulled into a closet. The room was dark and there were buckets and towels and various other cleaning equipment all over. Dim light from the light bulb above them gave Louis an understanding of the fact that they were in a broom closet.
Looking around didn’t last very long when Harry started sucking kisses on Louis’ neck and threw his school bag on the floor. Harry opened his belt buckle and started to take off his flannel shirt. There certainly wasn’t any time for explanations, apparently.
Despite the absolute bewilderment Louis was currently in, Harry manhandling them into the broom closet was (sad to say) the hottest thing anyone had ever done to him and a sudden wave of arousal flinched through Louis’ slim body. His lower stomach started coiling tight.
“Wait… wait, hold on", Louis panted. His head was spinning and he tried to search for something to look at. Something that wasn’t moving or stripping his clothes off. Harry’s movements slowed down and he lifted his head few inches above Louis’ to look him in the eye. A shiver went down Louis’ spine. He looked back at Harry to face his stare.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?“ Louis asked, he wasn’t sure if he liked this situation or not. This was what he’d been dreaming of, right? It didn’t feel right at all. Doing it in a broom closet wasn’t exactly what Louis had had in mind.
“I'm gonna suck you", answered Harry voice deeper and rougher than Louis’ would ever be. Harry’s mouth was now touching Louis’ neck, he could feel his lips chasing his jawline.
And Louis didn’t know anything else to say but “why?”.
“Because you’re too pretty not to touch."
And those were the words that had Louis’ brain collapsing, knees feel weak and mind so beautifully hazy. Harry stripped Louis’ shirt off and dragged his jeans to his knees. Louis just let him do it. He had a fucking Harry Styles in his arms, sucking wet hard kisses on his upper body definitely leaving red marks all over. But Louis didn’t care. Instead he started to unbutton Harry’s shirt. The other boy helped him and soon the shirt was gone, his pants were next and oh well.
All this made Louis feel so slutty, so usable, so easy that it almost put him to shame. Almost. Harry kissing him on the mouth, his tongue swirling against Louis’, made him forget such thoughts. Harry’s big rough hands on his bare bum made him forget everything else.
For a while they were just kissing against the wall naked and Louis wondered why Harry wasn’t making the next move. He didn’t want Louis to proceed did he? Maybe he didn’t want to continue just yet. The thought that Harry would just want to enjoy Louis was exhilarating and gave him a boost of self-esteem.
Not too long later Harry suddenly grabbed Louis’ cock and started stroking it gently. Louis made a silent noise from the back of his throat while Harry rubbed the underside of his dick. Louis’ head fell back against the wall when he felt the amazing warmth of Harry’s unbelievably muscular tanned porn prince body with several tattoos here and there. Louis’ whole body was tingling.
Then Harry went down on Louis. He just got on his knees slowly massaging Louis’ sides and inner thighs making him whine a little.
Louis felt Harry rubbing his v-line and taking the tip of his half hard into his mouth. Louis tugged Harry’s hair when the boy started wanking him more rapidly and sucking him off. It was hard for him to hold back the moans when there was a sex god sucking his cock. He accidently pushed forward and made Harry choke a little.
“Sorry," Louis whispered, eyes still closed, but Harry didn’t seem to mind. Instead he took his hands on Louis’ waist and guided him to the movement. He struggled holding back the whimpers when he fucked down Harry’s throat. It was all very sexual, they being like this.
“You look so pretty like this, oh fuck," Harry murmured when Louis was whimpering back against the wall, eyes closed, mouth a little bit open, legs trembling, sweaty hair sticking on to his forehead and temples.
Too soon (but still after the real work was done) Harry stood up still jerking Louis off but now bringing his mouth on Louis’ and stealing one two three too many rough, wet, open mouth kisses. Louis’ head started to feel dreamy, when he had to admit himself that he was close. He felt the burning in his lower stomach.
“Har- Harry…” Louis whispered and forgot to be scared, refused to be scared.
“Mh, I know," the boy muttered into Louis’ collarbone on which he was currently sucking kisses to.
Louis realized he was already panting from incitement. His whole body bent against Harry’s and his nails dag deep into his back. Harry grunted when he grabbed Louis’ whole body into his arms. A few seconds later Louis’ came all over them with a repressed moan.
Harry didn’t let Louis go, which normally would’ve made him feel like a caged animal. But this situation wasn’t normal in any way, so Louis felt protected in that cuddly, tiny, perfect way. Harry rubbed Louis’ back through the aftershocks and for this short while he wasn’t that dark Harry he always was; he was a caring, warm kind of boyfriend Harry who brings you flowers or in this case rubs your shoulders after he’s sucked your dick in a broom closet.
Before Louis could even consider, another whisper pushed itself through his lips:
“Fuck me."
Harry’s green eyes appeared in Louis’ sight, his pupils were huge.
“You sure ‘bout that, sweet cheeks?” he asked voice so rough and deep that that combined with the name he called Louis, sweet cheeks, made Louis’ chest flutter. He still felt shaky and squishy, but he nodded, because he was sure.
Harry nodded back and kissed Louis quickly on the mouth before licking his own fingers without breaking the eye contact. In just about any other situation that would’ve been absolutely disgusting, but when he did it, it became extremely arousing and Louis couldn’t look away. His head was filled with want want want. Louis licked his lips and Harry’s eyes followed the movement.
Then Harry took his wet fingers to Louis’ hole and without any warning, pushed one finger in. Louis gasped a little bit and swallowed quickly. He tried to focus on Harry’s sweaty hair, which in the dim light of the broom closet looked close to golden.
A little while later Louis nodded and Harry pushed another finger in. Louis had to close his eyes, even though he knew Harry was watching his face to read the signs to pull out. But he didn’t have to. Louis breathed a bit faster than usual. Harry fondled Louis’ hair that was sticky against his forehead.
Then Harry put in the third finger and that was when Louis had to remind himself why he was doing this. Pretty thoughts. Harry raised his eyebrows but Louis shook his head and swallowed quickly. He took his hand on Harry’s cheek and stroked it gently. The boy looked Louis straight in the eye but Louis didn’t look away. Not this time, not ever again. If they were actually doing this, they were doing it properly the first time. Louis wanted to say something, but didn’t think of anything fitting to say to a hot boy whose three fingers were up one's butthole.
Harry’s fingers were as long as the highway to hell (where they without doubt would be both headed for this) and Louis had to pinch his lips together. But he didn’t look away, no, when Harry scissored his fingers. Louis felt Harry’s hard on against his thigh and was a bit pleased with himself.
“Hold my place," Harry muttered and pulled his fingers away leaving Louis feel a bit empty. Instead he took out a condom pack and ripped it open with his teeth. Louis slowly took his fingers up to his hole and put one finger in, then another, and finally the third one after a brief consideration.
“Can- can I put that on?” Louis whispered nodding towards the condom. There was a silence when the two boys looked at each other before Harry nodded and handed it to Louis and pulled out a pack of lube from his back pocket. Was it always there? Even when he was at Louis’? In math class?
Louis took the condom and kneeled down in front of Harry. He hadn’t been looking down the whole time and swallowed quickly when he confronted Harry’s long, thick cock between his thighs. Still, despite the hard red cock that was about to go inside Louis, he circulated the precome from the tip of Harry’s cock around the head before carefully rolling the condom on. He even took his head slowly to Harry’s v-line and kissed it softly before getting up.
Now Harry spreaded lube on the condom and on Louis’ rim. He then fitted his and Louis’ lips together before turning him around against the cold wall of the closet. Harry put his hands on Louis’ bum and parted his cheeks a little bit. Louis bent over instinctively.
Harry slid in slowly. Louis pressed his forehead against the wall breathing heavily. He squeezed his eyes shut. Harry was gentle; he thrusted in carefully making sure Louis was okay and held his hands on Louis’ waist. Louis whimpered quietly because it hurt, but it was good kind of pain. Aching, marvelous kind of pain.
Harry then started thrusting back and forth. His heavy grunts were silenced by the closet. The lube was slick around Louis’ hole and Harry’s cock and made a silent sound every time Harry thrusted. The fourth time he pulled out Louis backed to his lap a bit and that was the sign for Harry to go faster, so he quickened his moves and started working his hips. Louis whimpered quietly and took his other hand to his painful hard on and started relieving himself. His other hand supported his weight against the wall. Louis felt the lube dripping down his thighs. A drop of sweat rolled down his forehead and made its path on his chin and neck.
When Harry started to go harder, it wasn’t until the third thrust he hit Louis’ prostate and Louis couldn’t hold it back anymore but moan out loud and be thankful that the school was indeed empty. The next thrust hit his prostate again when Harry got deeper and before the loud moan could escape Louis’ lips he felt Harry’s hand on his mouth keeping him quiet.
Louis was close, second time already, but he didn’t want to say anything. He had to last longer than Harry, he had to. He was whimpering into Harry’s palm and kept his hips in the movement. The combination of pain and pleasure was overwhelming. Louis breathed quickly in sharp gasps as his arms started to feel weak. He had to last.
Well that obviously didn’t happen and Louis groaned into Harry’s palm as he came the second time. Harry thrusted through Louis’ orgasm half supporting him with his arms and Louis didn’t want to say anything, but his body was getting weak and mushy and he didn’t know if he could last any longer standing up. Apparently neither did Harry, because he came with a deep moan.
Louis didn’t have the strength to support Harry’s weight, so he just let him finish and tried to survive the second aftershocks. Harry leaned against the closet door and slid down to sit. Louis half sat half collapsed next to him (Louis couldn’t sit properly but he tried to lay on the floor in somewhat comfortable position) and was expecting Harry to hold him and stroke his cheek or something, but apparently none of that was going to happen.
Apparently nothing was going to happen.
☾☾☾
Saturday morning’s sunlight forced itself through the closed blinds. Too bright and too real for anyone to sleep anymore. Louis laid in his bed on his stomach, eyes closed, his fringe hanging soft and his mouth open.
He was slowly getting conscious, opening his eyes just enough to see a slice of the white drawer across the room. He moved his fingers to his side and turned slowly onto his back. The aching pain in his bum made him groan and turn back quickly. The broom closet was coming back.
Louis laid in his bed for another ten minutes before getting up to check his phone. He had a text from Niall suggesting they’d have a study group today (group of Niall and him). Well, a little bit of normal couldn’t hurt, so he texted back a yes.
☾☾☾
“Wow, this place is cool. Different from the way I thought-" Niall cut himself off when he realized that that wasn't a compliment.
“Do you want anything? Coffee, tea?” Louis asked him politely as a host should.
“Uh, yeah sure anything you can offer," Niall grinned and Louis rolled his eyes. Niall was the cutest little puppy who could literally eat a whole camel. Too bad that Louis was into dark, tall, curly haired boys who fucked him in closets.
“So, how’s it going with you and Mr Payne?” Louis asked out of courtesy, because Niall seemed excited.
“Please don't refer to him as Mr Payne. Buuut oh my god I thought you’d never ask," Niall sighed and took a seat by Louis’ drawer. “He asked me on a real date next weekend! Do you know what this means?"
Louis brought him the cup of tea and held on to his own standing up. He didn’t exactly feel like sitting down.
“Well look at you, someone’s got a date," he said.
“I know, I just don’t know what to do or where to take him," Niall sighed.
“Well there are plenty of things to do; you can take him for a cup of coffee, or go watch a movie, or take him to the carnival they’re putting up," Louis suggested. Although he thought Mr Payne, Liam, had something planned.
“You’re right, the carnival sounds fun," Niall smiled. “So, how’s your love life going? Any cute boys around?” he asked and made Louis blush.
“Uh, no."
“Of course there is I can read it from your face, tell me everything," Niall picked up.
“Niall, no. There’s no one really."
“Sure there is, don’t lie to me Lou. I won’t tell I swear," Niall said grabbing the tea mug.
Maybe it was time to tell somebody, Louis was swarming from excitement. He had to tell someone, he had to.
“Well, actually, you’re right, there’s this guy…” he began.
“Yes, ha! I knew it!” Niall exclaimed triumphantly.
“Yeah but it’s a bit complicated. Remember when the school started and I asked you about Harry?” Louis asked Niall who nodded.
“But, wait- Harry Styles? You have a crush on Harry Styles? Oh man… that’s bad, I feel sorry for you man," Niall cut Louis off.
“Wait, what? Why do you feel sorry for me?” Louis asked.
“Because you know, he’s so…”
“Out of reach?”
“…Straight."
“Well, see, that’s not quite the case," Louis said, his chest felt warm and his bum sensitive.
“What? What do you know that I don’t?” Niall started pushing, and for the first time in his life, Louis actually told the whole story to someone. He told Niall about them being partners in math; he told about the home tutoring, the kiss and he even told Niall about last night (leaving the gayest parts out).
After telling the whole story Louis fell silent and left Niall staring at him like he was some kind of super human. In disbelief.
Few minutes later he opened his mouth:
“And you haven’t told me this before because…?” Niall looked seriously offended about the fact that Louis hadn’t kept him updated about this.
“Well I’m sorry but I’ve had a lot on my mind, and I’ve never told anyone this kind of stuff so you’re like – special," Louis confessed.
“Oh, well then. I am truly flattered," answered Niall and grinned. Louis nodded and smiled back.
“So, our school’s most mysterious, feared, charismatic person is actually into cock and little grunge gay boys," Niall summed up and Louis nodded again.
“So how was it?” Niall asked.
“How was what?”
“The sex. How was it? Was it good?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, it was… it was good yeah," Louis answered blushing a little and Niall nodded.
“”No homo” God said as he put the male g-spot up their anus," Niall stated and took a sip from his tea.
It took Louis few seconds before he started laughing so much he had to put his mug down to stop it from spilling.
He was glad Niall had befriended him.
☾☾☾
“So are you in love with him?” Niall’s voice broke into Louis’ consciousness. He had been staring at Harry sitting ten tables away from them for the past fifteen minutes. Harry hadn’t given him a glance, but Louis didn’t care. He just looked at his soft curly quiff, his pink lips and big hands. He wasn’t even discreet anymore, Niall knew and he didn’t have to explain himself to anyone else.
Now Louis flinched from his thoughts and looked at Niall instead. The blonde boy was looking at him questioningly. The truth was, Louis didn’t know, he hadn’t even thought about it. But now when Niall said it out loud, it kind of started growing on him.
Louis nodded slowly. “Yeah, I guess so, I mean, I’ve never been in love before but I guess this’s what it feels like," he answered and shrugged.
Niall just looked at Louis and then turned to look at Harry. “You’re privileged, you know," he said. "And not just because of Harry fucking Styles – still can't believe that bit – but because not everyone gets to feel love y'know?"
“Yeah, I know." He was – privileged, lucky, fortunate. He really was. He thought about that that day, whether he was staring at the classroom wall, the grey sky or the scuffed red seats in the school bus.
☾☾☾
The tutoring didn’t continue, obviously. Louis didn’t invite Harry over, and Harry didn’t say anything about that. Actually he didn’t say anything at all.
Louis wasn’t sure if he wanted Harry to come over. What would they do? What would Harry do? Slam him against the wall or his bed and fuck him senseless? That wouldn’t’ve bothered Louis, not really. Harry was a really good lay, if you could call him that. Still, Louis felt uncomfortable bringing it up.
Louis’ dreams about Harry changed their form; he didn’t crave the sex so much anymore, he craved the touch, the look, the smell, the warmth. He didn’t want to lay in his bed alone anymore. He didn’t want to walk on the street alone. He didn’t want to drink his tea alone. He didn’t want to sleep alone. He didn't want to be alone.
☾☾☾
Harry wasn’t at school when Mr White handed back their math exams. First the teacher held a speech about how miserably the exam had went and how half of the students would have to retake it. Dissatisfied muttering spreaded around the class when Mr White called up names to get the white papers with red pen all over them.
Did this mean more work for Louis? Did he really have to tutor Harry through the whole course again until he would get it somewhat right?
“Louis Tomlinson." Louis got up to get his exam. “I trust you with Mr Styles’ paper as well, since he hasn't bothered to pick it up himself," the teacher said handing Louis two papers. Louis nodded and went back to his place.
He glanced at his own exam: A- was written on the top corner with a red marker. Then Louis looked at Harry’s paper. C-, how was it possible when Louis had helped Harry like three times? He couldn’t’ve gotten this number without any other work. Had Harry studied for Louis?
☾☾☾
The sex continued. In the broom closet, in Harry’s car at the empty parking lot, once they locked a classroom door and did it on the teacher’s desk.
It was overwhelming, how can two people have so much connection, so much want without barely saying anything except each other’s names when they were fucking. Or maybe it was all in Louis’ head. Maybe Harry didn’t even care about him at all, just used him as his sex toy. But whatever it was, it was gorgeous. For a moment Louis didn’t have to think about anything at all. His mind was just filled with sweet sweet love.
☾☾☾
A month later it wasn’t so gorgeous anymore. Louis’ bum was sore all the fucking time and he was so frustrated because he hardly got any response when he tried to talk to Harry about something else than the way he wanted it up the ass.
It’s really fucking annoying to be in love with someone who doesn’t really talk to you. Who just bangs you whenever they want and then leave you there when they’re finished, like how do they think you have no feelings? You’re changing all kinds of fluids for God’s sake!
But still Louis couldn’t say no when Harry waited beside his car after school. All he could do is walk up to him, go inside the car Harry crawling after him and have sex.
Louis was so angry. Angry and frustrated. Angry, frustrated and sexually satisfied. How could he say no?
“Just say no," said Niall.
“But… how?” agonized Louis.
“Just, no. Say that it’s all or nothing." Louis thought about that and finally after one too many lays decided that it would be exactly what he’d tell Harry next time. All or nothing. All or nothing.
He didn’t tell Harry next time.
Or the time after that.
Or even the time after that.
☾☾☾
“No."
Harry’s hands stopped, his green eyes seeked to look at Louis. His grip tightened.
“Excuse me?” the rasp in his voice reflected surprise. This had to be the first time anyone had ever denied him anything. Their voices echoed in the empty school hallway. It was Friday, the two-week-long autumn break had started.
“I said no. I don’t want this anymore," Louis repeated, he looked Harry dead in the eye when he said it and was very proud of himself. Harry’s eyebrows furrowed and lips parted like he would’ve been about to say something like ‘of course you do’ or ‘why’, but then decided to hold his tongue.
“It’s all or nothing," Louis continued and when he saw uncertainty in Harry’s eyes, he continued: “Either you take the whole package and date me or then you take nothing and don’t bang me whenever and wherever you want anymore." The words escaping Louis’ lips sounded different and tasted strange, but after rewinding them in his head he was sure that this was what he wanted.
Harry just stared at Louis like he’d just announced that when they got married he'd want a unicorn as a wedding gift. Louis used the opportunity Harry’s obvious confusion offered and wrenched himself off from his grip.
“I’m not your toy Harry Styles. I’m finished," Louis saw a hardly noticeable flinch in Harry’s eyes when he said his name. Then he turned his back on him and started walking towards the school’s main doors.
“No you’re not," Harry said voice echoing in the hallway, but nothing could repeal the fact that he’d been just rejected and left to stand alone in a hallway. Louis smiled by himself even though he didn’t even have a ride to take him home. He was a genious.
☾☾☾
Louis was a freaking idiot. What the hell was he thinking? He just rejected a freaking incarnation of a sex god, if there was any (if there was, it’d be Harry Styles). Okay, he was a bit frustrated but he had just willingly rejected sex with Harry Styles. Who in the freaking hell does that?
Louis indeed was a freaking idiot. Niall on the phone tried to convince Louis that he had made the right choice but made a fucking terrible job at it and so Louis just laid on his bed for several hours listening to French punk rock without understanding a word.
He would’ve called Harry if he had had his number and begged him to forget all that he had said, but he didn’t. Instead he just stared at the ceiling and stayed in his flat for three days straight drinking tea.
The next three days after that he went out with Niall and gave him tips about how to treat men in relationships even though he didn’t have any experience in that field. And the two of them weren’t even together. Yet.
Louis helped Niall buy new clothes. They talked about Liam and how good it was that Louis had gotten Harry out of his system. Or Niall did all the talking, really, and Louis just agreed with him. Because he couldn’t admit that in fact he didn’t think it was good at all. He still wanted Harry. All of Harry.
And this was basically how Louis’ first half of his autumn break went. The other half he spent daydreaming. And hurting. And crying.
Louis laid on his bed, or on the floor listening music. He stared at the ceiling, or the wall, seeing nothing but Harry’s face. Feeling his soft cheek and his curls on his fingertips. Smelling the soap and the musk in his nose. Hearing his sin-deep voice in his ears and tasting his saliva on his tongue.
And he cried. He cried a lot. Not because Harry wasn’t having sex with him, but because Harry wasn’t doing anything with him. Because he wasn’t ever going to touch him again, because every time from this day forward when Louis kissed someone, he was going to search for Harry. And he knew he was never going to find anyone exactly alike. Finally he’d be forced to be with someone closest to Harry and just accept the fact that that was the closest he was ever going to get.
Eventually Louis didn’t want to get out of his bed at all. He didn’t want to eat, he didn’t want to breathe, he didn’t want to live. He just wanted to sleep, or die, whichever was fine by him. As long as he didn’t have to think or feel or cry.
Sunday morning he got up to take a shower so he could continue loathing himself clean. After that he dried his hair and found himself some clean clothes from his closet. Extremely unmatching black and grey sweatpants and the high-school’s white-red-and-blue sweatshirt.
Louis was just about to fall back on his bed and hurt a little more, when his doorbell rang. It took him several seconds to realize what an unearthly thing would cause such a disturbing sound and that it was actually his doorbell. No one had ever used it before.
So without any more consideration he went up to his door and opened it. That wasn’t the smartest move he’s ever made. Maybe because behind that door on Louis’ doorstep stood the reason he’d been a total wreck for the past few months.
“Hi," said Harry Styles. The tall, curly haired, Aphrodite’s son he was, made Louis suddenly feel very self-conscious in his ugly clothes and his unshaved chin and his hair sticking out in every possible direction. Why did he come?
Louis felt a little shaky so he leaned himself against the door frame trying to look casual. He tried to keep his cool and look like he hadn’t cried like a little baby for the past six days. Harry had to understand that Louis was mad at him, or even better – didn’t care about him at all.
“What do you want Harry Styles?” Louis asked voice hoarse.
“All."
All? “All wh–" Louis cut himself off when he realized. All or nothing.
“Will you go out with me, Louis Tomlinson?” And was that… nervousness he saw in Harry’s eyes? The way he was standing there, looking at Louis. He couldn’t help but smile. It was a tired smile, but a smile in any case.
“And why on earth would I do that?” Louis asked looking at Harry expectantly.
“Because I can’t let anyone else have you, you’re too pretty for that," Harry answered looking right back at Louis.
“Then kiss me you fool."