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Part 10 of Moments of Ignoct - ficlet collection
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The Ignoct Indoor Gift Exchange
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Published:
2020-06-05
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2,916
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1/1
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To Be An Open Book

Summary:

All the time Noctis had looked up to the lifelong companion at his side. When he comes back after his ten year absence, he considers telling Ignis how he feels before he never gets the chance again. But things turn out differently than expected.

Notes:

  • For .

Cracking my rusty knuckles back into motion, I had the joy of pinch-hitting for the Ignoct Indoor Gift Exchange!

DenialSubroutine, I'm sorry for the wait but I do hope that you enjoy this little something I came up with for your wish and that it gives you a little moment of peace.

Work Text:

Ten years.
Ten years that had passed in the blink of an eye but stretched into eternities for others.
So much had changed.

The world had fallen under a dark veil of sickness, slowly but surely sucking the land dry of its life force, daemons on the prowl behind every rock and every turn of the road. Gone was the lush green of Duscaen wildlands, the Leiden desert barren and only ruins of instalments, reminiscent of the resort that once rose over the ocean at Galdin.

It was hard to believe that this was the world Noctis had come back to, the one he was supposed to save.

It was even harder when he reached Hammerhead and saw the faces of his friends, pale from the lack of light and sleep, now ten years wiser. Scars told of their battles for survival, their fights to keep the parts of the world together that still remained, even if they were slowly crumbling between their fingers.
But none of the scars Noctis took in as thoroughly as the ones on Ignis’ face. Splinters of broken skin scattered all over his lips, nose and brows that spoke of more than just the long Night. They were a reminder for the most egoistic selflessness Noctis had ever witnessed.

Ignis should have been smarter than to put on the ring – that was what he initially thought when he had slipped the cursed piece of royal birthright from his ashen fingers, refusing to believe that this would be his end. But knowing exactly how smart Ignis was and realising that he had put on the ring nonetheless had left his action in a different light. Foolish, maybe but so full of devotion that it shot right through Noctis. Again. Not like his Chamberlain had long since earned a place within the confines of his heart from a time he couldn’t quite recall anymore.

Seeing the familiar glint behind the visors brought out a smile that barely mirrored the swelling of the heart within Noctis’ chest. The last time he had been with Ignis, his adviser had been crumbling between his fingers, sightless and on the brink of turning to dust. Now, the very same man was standing here with them all, very much alive. Maybe the Night had taken away some of the fullness from his cheeks but that didn’t lessen the strength and pride radiating from him.

At least something Noctis had been able to put the Crystal’s power to use for.

“Hey”, Noctis greeted them, receiving quips about what kind of reunion this was supposed to be but what really mattered then was his hand coming down on Ignis’ shoulder. Closeness he had been looking for ever since they split up in Altissia. Now it pained him to know that even this fleeting contact would soon be lost to the void and that Ignis too knew what was to come.

One more night before everything would end. One more night he might have had to get it off his chest or else take it with him to the grave.

Or so he thought.

“We’ve got catching up to do”, was what Noctis said, aiming to inform himself about what havoc had been wrought the time he had been away and to inform the others of the inescapable final turn of events with a heavy heart. Little did he know that his friends had been busy making other plans under Ignis’ supervision.

When they sat together in Taka’s reformed diner, Noctis was baffled to see what hidden knowledge had been found in the Royal tombs and what Tenebraean records helped uncover, secrets unknown to the royal bloodline.

Matters of the heart cast aside along with the certain sacrifice of life as only solution to purge the plague, Noctis found himself in front of a huge wooden desk and a lot of paper work only three months later.

The world wasn’t rebuilding itself and Lucis needed a King – a role Noctis hadn’t particularly thought of actually performing after the Dawn. But here he was now, signing documents, reading through reports and overviewing the construction of preliminary infrastructure for Insomnia. Six, what a hassle that was.

“You are frowning again, your Majesty.”

Noctis lifted his head from another file concerning the development for power supply in Lestallum and – indeed. He had been frowning, as he noticed when the area between his brows relaxed at the sight of his adviser, casually leaning in the doorframe.

“Yeah, no joke”, Noctis sighed, throwing himself back into his chair. “By Ramuh’s beard, I swear-”

“Ah-ah, a King does not swear. And weren’t we done with relying on the Astrals for any matter?”

Hand frozen in mid-gesture, Noctis lifted those same brows that had been frowning just a moment prior and shot him an unimpressed look.
“Uh-huh. Whatever you say.”

“Now, let’s have a look at what is troubling you, shall we?”

Through long black strands dangling into his vision, Noctis watched as Ignis moved in closer to bend over the files on the table, heavy boots making dull sounds over the carpeted floor. He was still wearing the Crownsguard uniform, coordinating the progress of reconstruction on the Crown City on site day in, day out. Whenever Noctis had happened to see him in action – no longer in battle but guiding the people – he felt that pang of admiration again; the same way he had when Ignis had graduated from the Crownsguard academy.

There had been several times Noctis had thought Ignis might make a better king than him, being skilled in conversation and all. Many people were relying on him since the long period of darkness as one of the main conductors operating from Lestallum and followed his instructions without even questioning them. Leadership and eloquence within a man who also happened to look more than just passable.
Noctis was sure, a royal garb would suit him much better than the official adviser robes, that silver winged streak of a crown on his temple standing out in contrast against his sand brown hair…

“Noct, were you listening?”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

Ignis cocked an eyebrow, standing upright again with arms defiantly crossed in front of his chest.

“Argh, yeah, okay. I didn’t. The mind of a king is busy with… a lot of things.”

“Without a doubt.” Ignis chuckled. “Maybe it is time for a little break. Care to take a walk?”

Noctis’ mouth twisted into an awkward toothy grin. “With you?”

Ignis played along and bowed with an air of amusement.
“At your disposal, should you wish it.”

It had always been the same with Ignis: “As you wish.” “Certainly.” “Whatever your choice, gladly.”
Teenage Noctis had reached a point where it had irritated him, and not only a little. It had taken some time to understand that Ignis was not void of a free will but that he was brought up to act like that. Even though he didn’t think Ignis would have had to try so hard outside work matters and regularly indulged Noctis with his favourite dinner or yet another break at a fishing spot on their later journey.

At some point, Noctis had begun thinking about what he could do for him in return. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to…
Not that I was able to show him any of that.

“You seem to be distracted today”, Ignis remarked after they had walked a good while without saying anything. The sun was shining high in the sky, dipping the sidewalk in a pale light. Most of the debris had been removed from this area due to its proximity to the Citadel – one of the few buildings to have stayed intact throughout everything. It had been a park before and most likely would become one again, once the greater damage was dealt with.

Noctis stopped in his track.
“What are you gonna do now?”

Ignis turned back at him, slowing his own steps.
“Beg your pardon?”

“Well, not like ‘now’ but, you know? Once the city’s rebuilt and stuff.” His smile hung crooked on his face. “You must have some plans, something you wanna do. You’re not going to stick with me forever, are you?”

The adviser frowned.
“Well, I regret to inform you that I will. I didn’t swear an oath to the Crown only to break it. You should know me better than that. It’s my duty, Noct.”

Duty, yeah alright.” Noctis rolled his eyes to not let the bitterness of that statement sit. “That’s what you’re supposed to say. But do you even want that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, don’t play dense. You know exactly what I mean.”

Ignis sighed, unconsciously tipping against the bridge of his nose where the visor was no longer present. A habit that was apparently hard to drop, as Noctis had observed.
“And what makes you think I wouldn’t want that, if I may ask?”

A raspberry blown from puffed cheeks, Noctis set his feet back in motion, looking up at the sky. Seeing it so blue must have been a miracle to everybody who endured the Night.
“I mean, job is one thing. I’m not trying to chase you away or anything, you know? It’s… good to have you around, don’t get me wrong. But what about your life?”

Ignis shook his head with irritation.
“What about it?”

Noctis let out a sound half-groan half-laugh.
“You’ve been ten years without any of this, Specs. You must have made contacts of your own, friends or…” The expression on his face turned melancholic. “Or maybe met someone to spend your life with. I wouldn’t want you to give up on that just because of ‘duty’. You have a free will too you know?”

A gentle breeze chased dust and dried leaves over the ground as a moment of silence passed by.
“Well, thank you kindly for being so considerate about my wellbeing.”

Alarmed by the cold choice of words, Noctis jerked his head around to meet Ignis’ eyes, only to see him look right back wearing a sarcastic smile laced with disbelief.

“First to make sure you don’t misunderstand: I am not sacrificing a part of my life by being at your side.”
He chuckled right after wording it, as if it was a private joke and not a matter of fact that he almost had.
“Second I would like to know where that impression of yours comes from. I’m curious.” Ignis put up a hand to his hip. “Tell me. What would you have me do with my life?”

“Hey, no fair! I asked you first.”

“Please, Noct, humour me.”

Noctis’ sulking didn’t last for long as he thoroughly thought about it. Ignis, his lifelong companion and friend who somewhere, along the way had turned into a figure Noctis wanted to depend on. Someone to rely on and, if possible be the same for him in return. Even though Noctis had never really expected himself to but even so it was safe to say that at some point he had fallen for him.
Not that this was anything that helped him answer now. This should be about Ignis, not about Noctis.

“Well… as you’re definitely planning to stick to your job, you’ll have to live near Insomnia? Maybe around the north eastern part, not far from the sea.” Noctis smiled losing himself in a vision of Ignis, smiling happily in a little garden with view on the shore. “Yeah, you’ll have a little house with a garden so you can grow plants and have barbecues in summer. Of course we’ll all come and visit to have you talk about the right cooking process for Garula sirloin and to introduce us to your family. Maybe even kids…They’re gonna be real smart…”

Noctis stopped his musings, realising the lump that had built up in his throat slowly but surely made it hard to speak. He cleared his throat.
“Uh, or… something like that? I guess?”

Looking back at him, Ignis was not smiling any longer. Instead his expression had traded for something unreadable, heavy around the eyes.

“What? Not good?”

“That’s… not really what you think.”

“Really now?”

“You were better at pretending when you were still wearing your school uniform”, Ignis muttered and, oh Six, he approached with slow steps.

Noctis let out a flustered laughter, seeking anywhere to look but at his adviser. That proved to be a challenge though, as Ignis stopped his feet right in front of him. Noctis could count the scratches on the buttons of his uniform and almost even hear his heartbeat.
Not fair, he thought, trying to keep himself relaxed, which only made him notice that he was actually nervous.

“Noct. Out with it.”

Noctis drew in a breath to hold for a moment.
“Hell no.”

“You have been absent not only today but all week. Surely you didn’t think I wouldn’t have noticed.”

“Can’t you have your all-seeing eyes on someone else?”, Noctis sighed, cursing himself for wording it the way he did. Another half baked lie that Ignis had definitely already seen through. Curse his attentive mind and the wits that made him see through everything within-

Noctis’ eyes widened at the thought, and he lifted his baffled face on instinct. He was met with calm green spheres, directed at him in a peaceful and reverent gaze, never breaking the contact.

What if Ignis already knew? What if he had looked right through him from the beginning? That couldn’t possibly be.

Could it?

“Ignis…”

The other man’s split lip curved upwards and the glisten in his eyes seemed to be encouraging him.
Please tell me.

“Why are you always right?”
Noctis swallowed, feeling his heart picking up in speed. Okay then. He breathed in deeply.

“Yeah, that’s not what I think. I can see you be that way though, you know? All… happy to finally have a piece of peace for yourself. But the truth is, I…”
Time for the leap of faith.

“Ignis, I… I don’t want that. Spending that time apart I realised that. I don’t…” He shook his head, concentrating on trying not to see his own reflection in Ignis’ uniform buttons.
“I don’t want you to leave. If possible I’d like to ask… that you stand by my side. Please.”

When their eyes met again, the words simply dripped off his lips.

“I love you, Ignis.”

Not much time passed until Ignis’ features softened into the most blissful expression Noctis had ever seen on him. It made him strangely fidgety.

“Uh... say something…? Maybe? I’d even take one of your lectures.”

The smile on Ignis’ face only widened before Noctis’ view went dark against the sturdy fabric of his uniform.
No… no way…!

“You said it”, Ignis’ voice reached him, muffled by the embrace of two sturdy arms that held him tight.
Was this the moment to panic? To laugh it all off as a joke he had meant to play on his childhood friend for a longer time?
“I wondered if you ever were to.”

“So, you… you did know.”

“I had a notion.”

The wide smile could be heard in the tone of Ignis’ voice and it made Noctis’ stupid heart skip a beat. Burying his face against Ignis’ chest, he burst out: “Then why didn’t you say anything?! This is hell of embarrassing you know?”

“Noct, you must understand-”

“Yeah, the heck I do!”
Noctis could feel the temperature on his cheeks rise and if he was to face him now, he’d probably look as graceful as a tomato split open.

“Noct, you must understand my position”, Ignis calmly started anew while his palm drew gentle circles on Noctis’ back.
“Just imagine. Who would I be to confess to my King?”

A pout on his lips, Noctis jerked up his head to frown at him.
“Bullshit. That’s me you’re talking about here. We’ve known each other for so long. What on Eos would you have to think twice about to confess to… me…?”

Noctis’ eyes slowly lit up in understanding, followed suit by a dust of pink that was being summoned onto Ignis’ cheeks.
“You’re kidding.”

“I think you should know that my sense of humour usually tends to be a little more… refined.”
Ignis brought his arms back forth, guiding himself along Noctis’ arms to connect their hands, then put his lips gently against Noctis’ knuckles.
“Just in case you didn’t understand: I would be honoured to be given the chance to return his Majesty’s affection.”

“Stop talking like that, Specs”, Noctis began to laugh, the tension in him fading away fast and trading for plain happiness.

There it was. Noctis’ very own miracle, his own Dawn. So that was what it must have felt like to the people – or at least similar. With the difference that it was not about the sun, not about the white clouds in a blue sky. Noctis’ sun was in his reach, waiting to share its warmth with open arms. His sky was not blue but a rich emerald and the clouds hiding it had finally vanished to reveal a clear view.

“So that’s it then? I mean, it’s set? You’ve got my back?”

Noctis squeezed Ignis’ hands, barely able to contain his excitement. Before he leapt back into Ignis’ arms, finally sealing his lips with a kiss he had only dreamt of, one word reached his ears – a confirmation, a wish, a promise.

“Always.”