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English
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Published:
2020-06-27
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1/1
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Pardon The Unpardonable.

Summary:

Elena confronts Elijah as he is leaving his goodbye letter on her bed.

Notes:

So, apparently I wrote this in October and just never uploaded it! I don't remember what was going on in my head when I wrote this, but I can tell you it is disgustingly self-indulgent *chefs kiss* I hope you like it anyway.

Work Text:

“Elijah.”

He turned, letter still in his hand, and looked to her standing in the dimly lit doorway from his position near her bed.

“Elena.” He nervously flattened the front of his suit. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“What’s that?” Her eyes shifted to the letter.

Gripping the paper, a little tighter, he avoided her eyes, and contemplated throwing it on her bed and leaving before the guilt ate away at him. He couldn’t beg for her forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it. Not so soon afterwards.

“A letter.” He held it out to her. “For you.”

Walking forward, Elena took the paper from his hand, her eyes trained on his while she opened the envelope. He seemed uncharacteristically nervous. Uncharacteristic in that Elijah was the most confident, self-assured person she knew and furthermore, that he was willing to let her read his emotions so clearly.

She looked down as she unfolded the paper.

Elena,

Today I did things I abhor to protect the one thing I value most, my family.

Her eyes met his again, unblinking and intense. She wet her lips and continued.

If anyone can understand, it’s you.

Your compassion is a gift, Elena.

She swallowed loudly in the quiet room, her mind providing Elijah’s own voice as she read his words.

Carry it with you, as I will carry my regret.

Always and forever.

Elijah.

She folded the paper, her hands shaking as she tried to put it back in the envelope.

“That’s it?” Her voice was quiet and tired.

“I- “, Elijah coughed when his voice came out strained. “I know it’s not much, but you deserve an apology at the least. An explanation for my ignoble behaviour. Acceptance is not required on your part, nor would I ask it of you. I wouldn’t do you the dishonour of asking for your forgiveness.”

He waited in contemptible silence for the words he could see forming on her mouth, all the while contemplating his departure.

“What was your plan?” She asked him. “This sounds like a goodbye.”

Her eyes were big and piercing. Too big. Too accusing.

“I am going to leave, yes.” He confirmed her suspicions. He needed to leave now.

“Forever?”

He needed to leave before he got down on his knees and begged her to ease his pain.

“I thought it would be best, yes.”

Her eyebrows scrunched together, and she crossed her arms over her chest.

“If I hadn’t walked in here,” she paused. “I never would have seen you again?”

He looked away; shame faced with the truth of his cowardice.

“You would have disappeared.”

Why did she sound more upset by this than by his cruel behaviour?

“Elena, I can’t be here.” This unexpected confrontation could give him a chance to explain himself further. “My family bring out the worst in me. I would do anything for them. It would be safer for you if I were to leave.” He swallowed hard and clenched his jaw. “I don’t want the next apology I write to be left on your grave.”

“I forgive you.”

His eyes shot to hers, unsure if he had heard her correctly.

“I’m-…you forgive me?”

Elena nodded.

“If that’s what it takes to make you stay.” She walked closer to him. “I forgive you, Elijah.”

How could she say that with such ease?

“Why would you want me to stay?” He should have left Mystic Falls by now.

“I feel safer when I know you’re around.”

Elijah laughed and shook his head. “How can you say that? I lure you out to the woods under false pretences, trap you in a cave with a woman who wants you dead more than anything and I make you feel ‘safe’?” He rubs his hands over his face and questions her incredulously. “Has everyone in your life done such a poor job protecting you that your shameful ally inspires confidence?”

“Why are you so determined that I hate you?” She probed him. “You clearly don’t want me to, or you wouldn’t have even bothered writing this.” She holds up the letter.

He could not look at her.

“Do you want my forgiveness, Elijah?” Elena practically whispered to him. When had she gotten so close?

He considered lying, breaking all her confidence in him so she could find someone else to believe in. He had already disgraced his values, what was one more sin to add to the list?

He couldn’t. Not when her eyes refused to back down.

His answer was just as quiet as her question. “Yes.”

Her hands were on his chest and he could hear her heart beating rapidly.

“Then stay.” Her words were strong now. “You think leaving is the best option, but you’re no use to me a thousand miles away. I want you to stay, Elijah. Please.”

How could he refuse her? Here she was, begging him not to leave, when she should have thrown him out the minute he got here. Ripped up his letter and burned it. Destroyed the ashes because his words meant nothing to her.

Elena rubbed her hands over is shoulders nervously. He would leave, surely. Why would her words mean anything to him. He’s been alive for a thousand years. How could the words of a teenager ever sway him to do anything he didn’t want to?

“And this will make you forgive me?” His words broke her reverie. “I stay and I am forgiven?”

“I already told you I forgive you.”

His hands gripped her waist. “Why, Elena? Why do you forgive me when I don’t forgive myself?”

His eyes were sharp, and unnecessary breathing laboured.

“It would be cruel not to when I’ve hurt you too.” Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, and her mind couldn’t focus on anything other than his hands on her body. “I’m sorry, Elijah. For what I did.”

He brought one hand up and brushed her hair back from her face.

“My forgiveness was immediate, Elena. What would any of us have done when faced with the opportunity to save our loved ones?”

“We’d protect them from those who would hurt them.” Her tears fell now. “No matter the cost.”

She moved forward and pressed her lips against his, arms wrapping around his neck to pull his body to hers.

“Don’t leave, Elijah.” She murmured against his lips.

Elijah kissed her back, soft lips moist and parting as his tongue barely pushed its way inside.

“Elena- “. His hands were large, strong, and clutched her to him possessively.

“I didn’t want Klaus to hurt you anymore.” Tears streamed down her red cheeks. “Even if it meant you were dead, he wouldn’t be able to hurt you. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“Shh…I would forgive you any trespass, lovely Elena.” He kissed over her cheeks, the salt stinging his lips. Her words were as desperate as her actions that night. “I will accept your forgiveness if you accept mine.”

“And you’ll stay.” She held his face in her hands. “You’ll stay and we’ll protect each other.”

He kissed her again, hand rubbing soothing circles on her lower back.

“If you asked it of me, I would never leave your side again.”

“Never leave me.”

“I’ll be with you always, Elena. Always and forever.”