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Kazuya shivers as he steps out of the bathroom. His bare feet stick to the wooden floor, and water drips down from his hair and wets his shoulders. He makes his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water, thirsty after his shower, and a sound from his living room grabs his attention.
Sipping the water, he peeks into the room.
“You’re still here,” he says, more of a statement than a question.
Youichi turns his head to look at him, waving his hand in acknowledgement. “Yeah, I didn’t really feel like leaving.”
Kazuya sits down next to him on the couch, a small two-seater that doesn’t leave much room between them. He glances at Youchi’s phone, which is being bombarded with Line notifications, most of them stickers. Most of them from Eijun.
“I’m guessing they got home okay?”
Youchi snorts. “Unfortunately. Sawamura is still annoying, even after drinking twice as much as Kanemaru. Which was a lot.”
Kazuya lets out a chuckle. “He always gets too excited. And somehow he’ll be fully recovered by the time the Christmas party happens next week.”
“Nothing can tire that moron out,” Youichi agrees.
Kazuya continues to watch the messages flood the phone screen, a little too bright for him, and he sips his water thoughtfully.
“There’s something I still don’t understand, though.”
Youchi looks away from the screen and meets his eyes. “What?”
“You always stay over, but you turned down my offer to live together. Multiple times. It doesn’t really make sense, at least not to me.”
That catches Youichi off-guard. He frowns, and focuses back on the chat. “I like having my own space, I guess.”
“You would have had your own room, though?” Youchi doesn’t say anything, so he sighs and lets the matter drop. “Well anyway, the offer is always on the table. You basically live here, after all.”
Youchi hums in response, but he doesn’t look up from his phone, clearly avoiding the conversation.
Kazuya had brought up the topic a few times before, but it always results in Youichi going silent. He’s learned not to mention it too much, but when Youichi says things like not wanting to leave, he just can’t help wanting to try again.
He lets his head fall back on the couch, and the movement causes a few drops of water to drop onto Youichi’s arm, and he looks up, slightly startled.
“Did you even try to dry your hair, you idiot? You’re gonna catch a cold.”
Kazuya tilts his head to face him, watching him from the corner of his eye.
“It’s too much effort. I’m tired.”
Youchi clicks his tongue, annoyed. He pulls at the towel around Kazuya’s shoulders, tugging it off.
“Sit up and turn around. I’ll help you.”
Kazuya’s eyes go wide, surprised by both the suggestion and the genuine tone in his friend’s voice. He sits up slowly, as if moving too quickly will scare Youichi away. He turns himself around, his back to Youichi, and takes his glasses off. He tenses up when he feels the towel on his head, but Youichi’s touch is gentle. He softly rubs the towel into Kazuya’s long hair, making small circular motions with his fingers. It’s soothing, and Kazuya finds himself leaning into the touch. He’s relaxed now, and he lets his eyelids fall shut, heavy from the comforting weight that Youichi always manages to wrap around him. It’s quiet, and the only sound Kazuya hears, aside from the traffic outside and the faint christmas carols, is Youichi’s breathing, soft and slow and steady. His folded legs were pressed into the small of Kazuya’s back, the space between them warm and safe.
Youchi squeezes the water out of the ends of Kazuya’s hair, and then ruffles the rest of it with the towel when he’s done.
“There, you’re welcome.”
Kazuya blinks his eyes, trying to urge away the sleepiness that had enveloped him. He turns back to look at Youichi, nodding in thanks. “You really didn’t have to.”
Youchi waves a dismissive hand. “S’fine, I wanted to. And we can’t have you getting sick. I’m not going to that party alone.”
Kazuya laughs, but he realizes Youichi is watching him strangely, even if his vision is a little blurry. “What’s wrong? I won’t get sick, don’t worry.”
“It’s not that. You look...different, without your glasses.”
Kazuya looks down at the glasses still folded in his hands, forgotten. “Oh. I guess I would look weird.”
“It’s not weird, it’s just different. You feel softer, and that’s weird.”
Kazuya swallows. He tries to force something like a smirk on his face. “Softer? That’s not the image I’m going for, though.”
He can tell Youichi is frowning. Even through the fuzziness, he knows. “Maybe I sometimes want to forget that you’re such a bastard.”
“So you like me more like this?”
Youchi reaches out and gently takes the glasses from Kazuya’s hands, rough fingers brushing against his. “It’s a nice change. These things make you look even more of an asshole,” he says, holding the glasses up and peering through them. They make his eyes look huge, and Kazuya can’t help but laugh at the sight. It makes Youichi grin, even if he knows Kazuya is laughing at him. He brings his legs up and playfully jabs his foot into Kazuya’s thigh.
“You should go to bed now. I’m tired, and this is where I sleep.”
Kazuya laughs. “Once again, you could’ve had a bed here.”
Youichi is still smiling. “Whatever, loser. I like the way this couch hurts my neck.”
Kazuya takes his glasses back and slides them onto his face before pushing himself off the couch. “Suit yourself, Mochi. Good night.”
Youchi stretches out along the couch, arms folded behind his head. “Night, Miyuki.”
-
The week passes quickly. It's the end of the semester, so everyone was scrambling to finish up last minute assignments, in the hopes that their professors would give them some sort of credit. While Kazuya wouldn't normally have that problem, he did get dragged out to go drinking more by Sawamura and the others, so he had some work to finish up as well. But they were finally free, and before they knew it, it was already time for the Christmas party. Kazuya had managed to find time during the week to go out and buy something for the gift exchange, and he texted Youichi a reminder every day to make sure he didn't forget. Because Kazuya was sure he would.
With a knitted scarf wrapped around his neck and the gift in his bag, he heads out of his apartment. The party had technically started a half hour ago, but no one ever expected him to be on time anymore. He always came and left whenever he felt like it, and most of his friends were just grateful he even showed up at all.
So when he arrives at the apartment that Eijun shares with Shinji and Toujou, he is greeted with a loud "Merry Christmas, Miyuki-senpai!", and no comments about his timing. Except from one person who never lets it drop.
"Wow, thought you'd come an hour before it ended," Youichi says, slinging his arm across Kazuya's shoulders. Kazuya can smell the beer on his breath, but it doesn't bother him.
"I considered it," he says, untying his overly warm scarf from around his neck, careful not to shake off Youichi's arm. "But I didn't want you to be lonely. I'm not mean enough to make you sad on Christmas."
Youichi lets out a bark of laughter. "Yeah, sure, of course I believe you. Thanks anyway, bastard."
Kazuya places a hand on his chest, mock hurt painting his face. "Wow, this is what I get for being kind?"
Youchi just laughs even more in response and drags Kazuya over to everyone else. There's a group surrounding Jun and Tetsu, who are unsurprisingly playing a round of shogi. Tetsu looks at Kazuya happily and points to the board, ignoring Jun who has his head in his hands.
Miyuki sighs. "Alright, alright. I'll need a drink first though, I'm way too sober to be playing shogi at a party, Tetsu."
Youichi promptly lets go of Kazuya's shoulders, probably to get him a drink, and it leaves him feeling cold. He shuffles from one foot to the other, restless without his friend's presence, especially when he has to make idle conversation.
But Youichi returns fairly quickly, two bright pink drinks in hand. He grins as he hands one to Kazuya before taking a sip of his own drink.
"Sorry that took a while. Had to ask Kanemaru where he hid the watermelon drinks you like. They can't leave them out, otherwise Sawamura drinks them all."
Kazuya wraps his hand around the bottle. More coldness , he thinks, as he watches the condensation trickle down the glass.
He must look troubled, because Youichi's arm is back in its rightful spot on his shoulders, a comforting presence. He meets Youichi's eyes, and he can feel his friend reading him. He softly squeezes Kazuya's arm, as if to say "I'm here," and Kazuya nods ever so slightly, expressing his thanks for both the drink, the arm and everything in between.
Apparently it lessens Youichi's worries, and his lip curls up at the corner. He turns back to their friends and yells something at Jun about going too easy on Tetsu, but Kazuya is struggling to pay attention. He sips his still too-cold drink, hoping it can ease his nerves and allow him to avoid conversation.
It's not a new occurrence. He's fine with people, most of the time. But parties feel different; there is the expectation that everyone should be enjoying themselves. And Kazuya finds it hard to pretend. Because as much as he likes his friends, he would much rather be doing the same thing on his couch, with a significantly smaller group of people.
He hadn't said all this to Youichi, but his best friend just knew, like he knew everything about Kazuya without him even having to say it. Which is why they have this unspoken agreement where they always go to parties and gatherings together.
At first Kazuya was worried he'd ruin the mood and bother Youichi, so sometimes he just didn't show up. But he quickly stopped doing that when his friend made it clear how he would much rather have him there as well.
So here he is, drinking something with too much sugar and leaning into his best friend, comforted by the warmth of his body and laugh.
Even when Jun loses and begrudgingly relinquishes his seat to Kazuya, Youichi's hand still lingers, his index finger occasionally rubbing against his neck.
Even when they get dragged away by Eijun to join a makeshift smash tournament, Youichi stays next to him, their arms pressed up against each other, warmth trapped between them.
And Kazuya slowly finds himself relaxing, buzzed from both the alcohol and the happiness that finally settles in his chest. The pair are now sitting on the soft blue rug in front of the tv, their backs against the couch where Eijun is seated with his roommates. It's loud, of course, but it doesn't ring in Kazuya's ears anymore. His head is resting on Youchi's shoulder, and he smiles at his terrible jokes, enjoying how his body vibrates as he talks.
Usually he would worry if he was being too close. Too open, too bare. But he allows himself to not care, and it didn't look like anyone was batting an eye at it either. After all, the two of them were always close. They knew Kazuya always let Youichi get past his walls, and seeing them so enveloped in each other was just natural at that point.
Normally he would have noticed Eijun fidgeting and whispering too much to Toujou, but he was busy thinking about how nice Youichi's new cologne smells and wondering when he bought it. So he doesn’t question it when Sawamura whines for the two of them to go to the kitchen and get more drinks.
He would much rather stay in his spot, but Youichi complies and stands up, so naturally he has to go too. He takes the hand Youichi offers him and gets pulled to his feet, and the hand stays there for a few extra seconds to support him as he wobbles a little.
They walk into the kitchen doorway but are stopped in their tracks by sudden very loud yelling. They turn to find Eijun with the biggest cheeky grin on his face, his hand pointing at them.
"WE GOT YOU! Miyuki Kazuya and Kuramochi Youichi, you have fallen for our trap!"
They look around but don't see anything that looks like a “trap”, and only when Toujou smiles and points his fingers upwards do they finally understand.
Youichi is the first to react. "What the fuck?"
Eijun is still yelling. "You can't run away from the mistletoe!"
Youichi lets out a heavy sigh. "We don't have to do anything, Sawamoron."
Kazuya doesn't know what to say. He watches Youichi argue with Eijun, and at first he thinks that this is just Youichi protecting him again. But as his eyes focus, he finds something else. Something new, but also not completely new, because he's seen it before, except he didn't know what it was. But now, he finally figures it out. It's Youichi setting a line that he's too scared to cross. He does it every time Kazuya asks him to live with him, and he's doing it now, because he doesn't want to kiss Kazuya under the mistletoe.
These are the moments where Youichi protects himself, instead of protecting Kazuya. But Kazuya is selfish. He realizes he's frustrated, even. Because he doesn't like that Youichi doesn't cross that line.
He clears his throat, and everyone goes silent as they look at him. His fingers are shaking, because this isn't something he does, exposing himself to so many people, but if he doesn't do it now, they'll never cross the line.
"Sawamura's right, Mochi. It's the rules."
Youichi's jaw practically drops. "Are you actually gonna do what this idiot wants?"
Kazuya crosses his arms, protecting himself, in a way. "If it was anyone else you'd insist they do it too. It's a Christmas tradition, after all. You can't argue with it."
Youichi tries to retaliate, but he ends up sputtering, still shocked that Kazuya was agreeing.
"It's not a big deal," Kazuya insists, trying to convince both Youichi and himself. "Let's just get it over with and shove Sawamura in here with Kanemaru."
Youichi ignores Shinji's protests in the background as he chooses to look Kazuya in the eyes, for once confused that he can't read his best friend.
"Fine," he grumbles. "It's just a stupid thing anyway."
Kazuya smiles. "That it is."
He watches Youichi steel himself and step closer. He's still the taller one, and he doesn't want to make Youichi get on his toes, so he brings his hand to the shorter boy’s neck, his fingers curling just under his ears, and closes his eyes as he leans in.
He hears Youichi's breath hitch, and he can tell that he's nervous, but he uses what little courage he still has left to press a tentative kiss to Youichi's lips. Kazuya's heart is thumping so loud in his ears that he can't hear anyone, and the only thing grounding him is the warm skin beneath his hand and the trembling lips under his. He doesn't want to let go though, not yet. It's too soon, and he hasn't gotten his feelings across to Youichi.
He tilts his head and slowly moves his lips. The action makes Youichi gasp, and Kazuya takes the chance to quickly swipe his tongue along Youichi's bottom lip. Now he pulls back, his lips wet and ears flushed. He licks his lips and smiles when he sees Youichi is still stunned. He knows his friend wants to say something; he probably has a hundred questions he wants to ask. But there's time for that later, if Youichi is willing. Kazuya is sure he is, because Youichi never runs from anything.
So instead he puts on a signature smirk and tells Jun and Tetsu to grab Eijun and Shinji so they can drag them under the mistletoe as well.
"Why me?! Toujou was in on it too!" Shinji protests as he wiggles in Tetsu's grip.
Toujou laughs as he watches Eijun screaming and running away from Jun. "I wouldn't mind taking either of your places."
That leaves Shinji blushing and speechless.
In the midst of the chaos, Kazuya finds the chance to grab Youichi by the arm and drag him away. Youichi still looks dazed, but he easily complies, although he's still flushed.
Kazuya leans in close enough that his lips almost brush against Youichi's ear. "If you want to talk, come over tonight," he whispers, and he doesn't miss how Youichi's suppresses a shiver. But he still manages to look up at Kazuya with a glare.
"You're such an ass, you know that?"
Kazuya shrugs playfully. "Never heard that one before."
That earns him a kick to his ankle, but Youichi stays by his side, so Kazuya takes that as yet another good sign. He can feel his cheeks warm up as he watches his friend, and he resists the urge to reach for his hand and thread their fingers together. It's still too soon. He settles for leaning into his space instead, bumping their hips together as they watch the party continue to unfold before them.
Eijun does get dragged kicking and screaming under the mistletoe, but quickly gets shut up by both Shinji and Toujou, and everyone in the room knows that he’s going to end up even more annoying now that he'll most likely have two boyfriends. Unless he's stupid enough to still not notice their obvious crushes on him.
Kazuya wonders if their friends expect them to get together as well, or if it's just another thing they think they're close enough to do and simply brush off. Maybe things won’t be too different.
He wants to leave as soon as possible, itching to be closer to Youichi. But the gift exchange is just starting, and it would definitely be too rude to leave before then. Youichi pulls him over to where everyone is gathered; there's a huge pile of gifts, each labelled with the name of the recipient.
As per Tetsu’s recommendation, they decide to go alphabetically, so that it doesn't get too out of control.
Furuya gets several bottles of clear polish from Jun, because apparently he runs out very quickly. When it’s Jun’s turn, he has to turn away to cry into his sleeve, because Tetsu got him a set of matching teacups and teapot, along with an array of various teas.
Youichi gets a shirt from Sawamura that says "I'm not short, I'm fun sized", and Zono and Shinji have to hold him back when he attempts to lunge at him, arms reaching out and ready to throttle him.
Kazuya is still laughing at them as he opens his gift, but he quickly goes silent. Out of the bag he pulls out a new pair of sports glasses. Specifically, ones he had been eyeing for a while, but could never justify the purchase to himself. Stunned, he reads the card that comes along with it. He looks up, fingers shaking.
"Mochi, you were my secret Santa?"
His anger forgotten, Youichi rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, and it was really hard to hide it from you, too. That's why I lied and said I had Shirasu."
All Kazuya can say in response is a quiet "oh."
They've already moved on to the next few gifts, but once again Kazuya can't focus on his surroundings. Again and again, Youichi surprises him.
His attention only gets snapped back when Tetsu is thanking him for the shogi guide book he got him. He chuckles when he sees how bright his former captain's eyes are.
"I thought it would make our matches more interesting. Plus, I think Jun would benefit from it as well." He adds the last part as a whisper, not wanting to risk Jun's wrath, even if everyone knows he sucks at shogi.
Tetsu nods eagerly. "That's a great idea. I'm going to make sure Jun reads it with me tonight before bed." He gently slaps a hand on Kazuya's shoulder before he leans in to add one last comment. "I expect you to have someone to talk to before bed tonight as well, right?"
He pulls back and smiles when he sees the flustered look on Kazuya's face. Kazuya smiles weakly in return.
"So you noticed, huh?"
Tetsu rubs his chin thoughtfully. "Well, it was always more of a matter of when . I'm glad to see the two of you finally making progress."
Kazuya runs a hand through his hair as he sighs. "I finally realized that I want more than what we've had so far. I just feel bad that I've made him wait this long."
Tetsu's expression is warm. "Sometimes, the wait is worth it, Miyuki." He pats him one more time before he turns and goes back to join everyone else. Kazuya doesn't miss the way he fondly leans against Jun, and how Jun brightens up like the first light at dawn when he sees him.
He looks at Youichi, who's happily laughing at some of the gag gifts, specifically Shirasu with one of those mustache glasses, and he wonders if they've shared intimate expressions like that. It's a little scary to him, that everyone probably sees how much he lets his walls down around Youichi. But also, it's Youichi. It's only natural.
I want everyone to know he's mine , Kazuya thinks.
-
It's cold when they walk back to Kazuya's apartment. Snow falls down heavy, and it gets stuck in Youichi's hair and fogs up Kazuya's glasses, but they're still laughing. The Christmas lights that dot the street are bright and colorful, and the way they reflect in Youichi's eyes makes Kazuya's body feel warm, despite how numb his fingertips are.
Maybe's it's the spirit of the holiday, or the cheerful carols they walk past, or the way Youichi's laugh rings in his ears, but Kazuya feels like doing something cheesy. He takes off the glove on his right hand and offers it to Youichi, who raises an eyebrow in return.
"Put it on. You're not wearing any."
"But my pockets are warm enough?" Youichi replies, confused.
"Yeah, but I want to hold your hand," Kazuya says, bluntly.
It only takes a second for Youichi to understand, and the tip of his nose goes a little redder.
"Fine," he grumbles, pulling his hands out from the comfort of his wool-lined pockets, and slips his right hand into the glove, stretching out his fingers until it fits right.
Kazuya wastes no time reaching out and holding his hand, bringing their interlocked fingers down to swing gently between them. Youichi pouts, and Kazuya offers him a sheepish grin.
"Sorry, I just couldn't wait any longer."
Youichi hits him in the leg with their joined hands. "Idiot, how long do you think I've been waiting?"
Kazuya is still smiling, but his eyes are sad. "I'm sorry. But I've finally caught up to you."
Youichi squeezes his hand. "Yeah, you did. Thank you."
-
They shrug off their coats when they get back, Kazuya hanging his on the coat rack and Youichi chucking his onto one of the chairs in the kitchen. Kazuya laughs as he watches him flop face-down on the couch, clearly exhausted from the night's events. He walks over and perches on the arm of the couch.
"So, did you wanna talk? Or should I let you sleep for tonight?"
Youichi looks up at him, his bangs already beginning to fall onto his face. "As much as I want to just kiss you right now, I feel like we should talk."
Kazuya nods, and when Youichi sits up and slides over on the couch, he takes a seat beside him.
Kazuya starts the conversation first. "I should apologize for putting you on the spot like that, earlier. But I felt like it was my only chance."
Youichi looks down at the hand that Kazuya places on his knee. "I'm just glad you wanted to. I don't think I'd survive kissing you once and never again."
"Oh, so you're finally admitting it? You like me~"
Youichi flicks his forehead. "Whose fault do you think it is that I didn't say anything, bastard? Took you long enough to notice."
Kazuya rubs his forehead but doesn't stop grinning. "You didn't have to wait for me, you know. You could've said something."
Youichi sighs deeply, slumping back into the cushion. "This isn't something I'm willing to ruin, Miyuki. I'm sure you can understand that much."
Kazuya nods. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry I made you go through that."
"Ugh, it's fine. You don't have to keep apologizing, and we don't have to talk about our feelings."
Kazuya licks his lips. "What would you rather do, then?"
Youichi glares at him, and his eyes drop down to Kazuya's lips, and he frowns even more.
"You're insufferable, you know that?"
And before Kazuya can retort, Youichi is grabbing him by the collar and pulling him close, hungrily and almost desperately kissing him.
Kazuya hums into the kiss, snaking his arms around Youichi's waist and bringing him even closer. Youichi's fingers dig into his sides when Kazuya nudges at his lips with his tongue, and Youichi lets out a low growl as he opens up for him.
It's dizzying. Youichi's hands are all over him, leaving invisible bruises that Kazuya knows he'll never be able to forget the feeling of. He wants to devour him, the desire to monopolize him so strong that he bites down on Youichi's bottom lip, his skin tingling when he hears a soft moan in response.
Youichi pulls back, and Kazuya's breath stops as he admires his handiwork. He thought Youichi looked absolutely beautiful like this, his lips swollen and bruised, and his eyes unfocused and dark. He holds him in his arms like he's the most precious thing in the world, and leans in to peck his nose.
"You're so cute, Mochi. Did you know that?"
"Shut up," Youichi says weakly. He's shaking a little, so Kazuya gently rubs his thumbs in circles. He leans in again, a sweet kiss on each of Youichi's cheeks, and he can't help but fall in love again with the way Youichi's eyes look up at him from beneath his long lashes.
"You do know this is all we're gonna do during the holiday, right?" he says, giving Youichi a lopsided grin. He can't hide how happy he is, and he doesn't want to.
Youchi scoots closer and rests his head on Kazuya's shoulder, exhaustion washing over him. "Yeah, I know. You're insatiable."
Kazuya chuckles as he wraps his arms tighter around Youichi, nuzzling his face into his hair. He closes his eyes and listens to Youichi's steady breathing, and faintly notices the song playing outside.