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Gerard and Ray had always been the best of friends. Nothing really ever came between them. Since they met at SVA they've always been close. Gerard had to start the conversation with Ray. Ray was just a kid, 19 and shy. He carried his little spider-man action figure in his pocket and had his short, puffy hair. He was still wearing his glasses instead of contacts at that point. He was really not a people person. Sure, he was kind, but he never started conversations with anyone. Gerard would notice him glancing over in class, then when he noticed that Gerard noticed, a blush would spread over his cheeks. Damn, Gerard sure fell hard.
They had been together for almost three years at this point. Gerard finally placed in the job he wanted at Cartoon Network and he was working on a little cartoon. Ray was grateful that both of their parents were supportive of their relationship. It was the early 2000s, after all. Not many people were cool with two guys, especially two nerds who weren't seen as conventionally attractive. They were planning on eventually getting a place together, but Gerard wasn't sure when that would be. For right now they were going in between each other's places.
Ray knew that Gerard was different and he loved it. He liked different things, behaved differently than others, and thought differently than others. That's why he wasn't shocked when Gerard admitted to him that he was a little. Honestly, Ray didn't really know much about the subject, but he knew that he could ask all the questions in the world and Gerard would answer them. Gerard was always kind and patient, especially with Ray.
"So, um- like, you're an adult.." Ray began. "So how do you get little? Cause you're like- big- like adult sized."
Gerard giggles a little and puts his marker down, turning in his desk chair to look at Ray who was sitting on his bed. "Ray, I don't physically change. It's a mental change. Like, um.." He hums, nibbling on his lip as he thought. How could he best explain this to Ray? "Well, you see, it's kind of like when you watch old shows to make you feel better. Like you watch the shows you watched as a kid and they comfort you! It's kind of like that, but more in-depth. I have my stuff." He pushes his chair back from the desk, standing up. "Here, I'll show you." Gerard walked over to the dresser beside his bed, kneeling down to open up the bottom drawer. He pulled out a soft baby blanket with stars printed on it. "This is my blankie..." He drapes it on the bed in front of Ray before turning back to the drawer. "This is my paci case." He pulls out a little chest that's decorated with fake jewels and has rainbow coloring all over it. He opens it up, showing Ray all his pacifiers. They were all in cute designs, one had a dinosaur, one had a fairy, one had Yoda from Star Wars, and one was just pink and blue with sparkles. He places the chest carefully on the bed as well.
Ray was just watching in awe. He always loved to see Gerard talk about things he loved or enjoyed because his face always lit up. If this made Gerard happy, Ray would be happy to indulge him. He continued to listen with concentration, making sure he was absorbing anything Gerard was telling him.
"This is my bottle. I have two, but the other one is dirty right now. Oh, and I have one sippy." He placed the bottle next to Ray before turning back to dig again. He pulled out some teething toys and his favorite stuffed animal. "This is my best friend, Super Pickle." He nuzzles the stuffed pickle before setting it on the bed. "Grandma got him for me when I had my tonsils taken out." He throws the teething toys on the bed too. "These are for me to chew on, cause I might break the pacis if I chew on those."
Ray nods, helping Gerard stand up from where he had been squatting on the floor. "Thank you for sharing with me, baby. Anything I can do to help you feel happy and loved, you know I'm always willing to do." He carefully pulls Gerard in his lap, kissing him gently.
Gerard pecks back gently, cuddling into Ray. "Thank you." He whispers, wrapping his arms around Ray. He loved him so much. He was warm and strong, he always made Gerard feel so safe and loved.
"So is it just a thing that's triggered by stress or...?" Ray asked, not sure how to finish the question.
"Well, sometimes it is. Yeah." Gerard nods, looking at Ray, squeezing him even tighter. "But sometimes it's just something I like to do to relax, even if the day wasn't particularly stressful." He kisses Ray's cheek. "Are you gonna spend the night tonight?" He whispers, letting his head rest on Ray's shoulder.
"Well, yeah, I mean, I was planning on it if it's okay with you and your mom." Ray allows his hands to rest on the small of Gerard's back, rubbing lightly at it.
"I want you to stay and mom won't care. She says I'm an adult and it's my business." He just watches Ray, taking in all of the positive energy radiating off of him. Ray was like the sun, honestly. He just radiated love and warmth. Gerard was definitely like a cat just lounging, taking in the sun. He could bask in Ray's glow all day.
"Okay." Ray continues to rub his back. "Well, why did you ask?" He looks down at Gerard, eyebrows furrowed behind his glasses.
"Well- Well...Because. If you want to learn more about when I'm little and in my babyspace, I can show you tonight. I've worked on Breakfast Monkey all day. I'll be exhausted by dinner and more than ready to be little after that."
"Alright, baby. That sounds good to me. If you want to show me and teach me some tonight, I'm happy to learn." Ray smiles and nuzzles his face into Gerard's hair. Sure, it was greasy, but he loved him. Gerard's lack of hygiene was actually never an issue for Ray. It only became an issue when it came about from Gerard having a depressive episode or being upset. Ray didn't like Gerard not taking care of himself. But if he just chose not to shower because he didn't want to, that was totally fine with Ray.
Gerard nods, bunching up Ray's shirt with his hands. Ray always wore the softest shirts. He knew that Gerard didn't like the rough textured shirts, so he always wore soft ones around Gerard. Gerard really appreciated him and all that he did. His heart always felt so full around Ray and he didn't know how to express it or let it out. He just wanted to scream how much he loved Ray, but he wasn't even sure if that would help.
Eventually, after maybe half an hour of just sitting there and basking in each other's presence, Gerard went back to his desk and began work on Breakfast Monkey. A few hours of working flew by and in the midst of it, Ray left to go get them dinner. Once he came back, they ate together and talked.
Once it was finally time for bed, Gerard got dressed in his skeleton onesie, climbing into his twin bed. It did somewhat amaze him that Ray and him always managed to squeeze into the bed comfortably, but they always did. "Ray?" Gerard said, looking up at Ray, who was changing into his pajamas.
"Yeah?" Ray looks over at him, smiling. "What is it?"
"I think I want a bottle of chocolate milk for dessert." He looks up at Ray with big eyes, already starting to slip into his little space.
"Sure." Ray smiles, grabbing the bottle that Gerard had set on top of the dresser. "I'll go mix some up and bring it right back." Ray rushes up the stairs into the kitchen. He puts some milk in a mug, warming it to a nice temperature in the microwave. Once the microwave beeps, he pulls the mug out, mixing a good amount of chocolate syrup into it. He stirs it up, making sure it's well mixed before carefully filling the bottle with the mixture. He heads back downstairs, smiling at Gerard who was mouthing at his thumb. "Hey, I got your bottle, honey."
Gerard makes grabby hands, whining. "Gimme."
"I will, baby. I'm gonna feed you, okay? So that all you have to do is just relax in bed, get your tummy filled with warm, sweet milk and then you can sleep. I'll hold you close all night so you're nice and safe."
Gerard makes a happy noise, scooting as close as he could to Ray. He lays his head on Ray's arm, opening his mouth as Ray brings the bottle to Gerard's mouth with the arm Gerard wasn't laying on. He takes the nipple of the bottle into his mouth, suckling happily on the warm, chocolaty milk. It was so sweet and rich, Ray was really treating him.
"You're doing so good.." Ray holds the bottle, watching Gerard lovingly. Yeah, he liked this. He felt so close to Gerard, like he was giving him everything he had. He loved taking care of Gerard and this just brought it to a whole new level. He definitely hoped they would do this again.
Gerard nuzzles his head back into Ray's arm as he continues to suckle on the bottle, letting his gaze drift to Ray's sweet, kind, warm face. It was so full of love, it made Gerard want to cry. (In a good way, of course.) He could tell that Ray really cared for him, he really wanted to give him all he wanted. Gerard never in a million years imagined that he would find someone so loving, so caring, and so amazing. But he did. He was so lucky that Ray and him had a film class together all those years ago. Nobody could ever replace Ray.
"I love you, baby." Ray smiles at Gerard as he drinks his milk, watching him with fondness. If someone could literally have hearts in their eyes, Ray would sure as hell have them right now.
"Muhve uw oo." Gerard mumbles around the bottle, eyes beginning to get heavy. He knew Ray would understand that he was saying 'love you too', he wasn't even worried. They had the best communication ever, sometimes it was like they could read each other's minds. It freaked a lot of people around them out, but Gerard loved it.
"I know you do." Ray whispers as he carefully moves Gerard's head to the pillow, pulling his arm free. He strokes Gerard's face and cheek, wanting to soothe him even more. He wanted the best for Gerard, he wanted to make sure that he got the best rest possible and was as relaxed as he could be. "You mean everything to me, Gerard." He whispers, leaning down to kiss his head. "You're my best friend and the love of my life. I hope I get to spend every day of the rest of my life with you by my side."
Gerard finishes his bottle, a soft smile on his lips. He just nods, too sleepy to even speak. He felt the same, though. Ray's words just deepened Gerard's love for him.
Ray sets the empty bottle on the floor beside the bed and cuddles down into bed with Gerard. He makes sure the blankets are properly adjusted and that they're both comfortable before wrapping his arms around Gerard. "There you go, my sweet boy. You're so precious, honey. Get some rest. I love you and I'll always be here for you, no matter what you want or need."
Gerard nods, his face comfortably nestled in Ray's warm chest. His eyes are closed and his breathing is beginning to even out as he falls asleep. Ray continues to stroke his back, rubbing circles into his soft body before falling asleep himself.
When sunbeams finally broke through the curtain around noon the next day, Ray was so amazed by how beautiful Gerard looked in the light. His baby. His beautiful, wonderful boyfriend was right next to him and that's all he could ever ask for. "I love you." He whispers, before letting his eyes close and drifting back to sleep.