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In the second year of high school, when Chenle returns to South Korea after summer vacation, he notices that two things have changed about Lee Jeno.
First, Jeno comes back to high school jacked. And Chenle knows he works out — he’s seen him sprint on the track during PE, he’s seen him carry twice as many boxes as he does when they’re moving supplies from the student council storeroom. But he’s never seen his muscles literally bulging through his school uniform.
Second of all, Jeno comes back with a sense of style. Chenle’s jaw is dropping at this point. He turns to Renjun with his mouth wide open, and Renjun reaches out to press it closed. Jeno’s come back with not one but two ear piercings — one on his lobe and one on his cartilage. Is that even allowed? He whispers to Renjun, who side glances at him and seethes through his teeth to ask him to shut up, because they’re in class, and he’d really like to not get punished.
And instead of paying attention to the calculus problem on the blackboard — he can just catch up on it later — Chenle studies a more pressing problem, playing out right before his eyes.
“That’s the bag,” he says, pointing at Jeno’s backpack, hanging from behind his chair. It’s one of those canvas bags with the impractical foldable tops that he’d seen every wannabe hypebeast carry from Seoul to Shanghai. He gestured at the Supreme keychain hanging off the zipper. Oh no .
“He’s become one of them,” Chenle shakes his head, voice forlorn. “We’ve lost him.”
Renjun sends him a tsk .
“I say this because I care, Huang Renjun. As his friends we cannot turn a blind eye to this, to this…” Even Chenle struggles to find the words. “I declare an emergency intervention. We could—”
“Zhong Chenle!” His irate math teacher yells from the front of the classroom. Renjun almost jumps out of his chair.
Chenle’s concern for his friend lands him standing at the back of the classroom. He balances his notebook in one hand to take notes and pays attention for now, but the intervention cannot wait.
They’re in back to back classes until lunch, when they finally get time to catch up with Jeno properly. Chenle swoops over to Jeno’s desk, hooking him by the arm to pull him up and out of the room towards the cafeteria.
“So, Jeno, my man,” Chenle starts smoothly, the exact way he’d planned the confrontation in his head.
“Hey Jeno,” Renjun says, hands in his pockets because this is entirely Chenle’s idea.
Chenle goes straight to the point: “Who are you and what have you done to the Jeno I used to know?”
“What?” Jeno stutters, looking frazzled like a deer in the headlights. The vestige of pre-summer Jeno broke through the cracks, underneath the low fade and silver studs. “It’s great to see you too?”
“Yeah yeah, it’s great to see you too. I go back home for two months and you come back to school like a completely different person. What the fuck?” Chenle says. If it helped, he could pull out his phone for before and after images. A side by side comparison of Jeno’s pomade-styled hair to a picture of Jeno, after his mother cut his hair.
“I’m still the same person, Chenle,” Jeno sighs. He almost wants to run his hands through his hair but the hard shell of wax stops him. “I’ve only changed a little. It’s called glowing up .”
“I didn’t know that was in your vocabulary,” Chenle remarks. Baby’s first words , he hears Renjun comment from Jeno’s other side. Renjun wipes away a fake tear.
“Seriously,” Chenle insists, because he cannot fathom any scenario that could explain this turn of events. He points at the piercings and the hair, and he’d point at the massive biceps too if he had another hand. “Explain this.”
“Ah…” Jeno begins sheepishly. “Well, you see—”
“Um, excuse me, Jeno-ssi,” someone calls from behind them then, voice small. When Chenle turns around he sees a girl he faintly recognizes from class 2-3 in a bow, hands extended out to offer a sealed pink envelope. From where he’s standing he can even see the bubble heart stickers.
Chenle’s half digested cereal is swirling in his stomach. They’ve been in school for a grand total of four hours and Jeno already gets a confession? Here? He’s beginning to think that he’s being punked, and someone’s going to jump out with a secret camera, but then Jeno starts talking.
“Ah, I’m sorry, but I cannot accept this,” he apologizes, bowing in return.
The girl panics for a quick moment, not knowing how to proceed. Her arms quickly press flat against her sides. “That’s fine! I… May I ask if you are seeing someone?”
Hah, Jeno? This guy? Chenle wants to say. But then he remembers that Jeno came back after the summer looking like this, and it really is all he needs to explain why girls are flocking to him like moths to a flame. But he didn’t actually count on Jeno saying:
“Yes, I am,” Jeno replies steadily. At the thought of his mystery lover his eyes curve into little crescents.
Renjun elbowed Chenle at his waist, whispering low, “Are you seeing this shit?”
“That makes two of us,” Chenle replies. In an instant, everything starts to make sense. Jeno got a girlfriend over the summer. Shit .
The girl looks embarrassed now, the envelope in her hands twisted behind her. “She’s really lucky to be with you,” she says.
Chenle’s processing this by the second. There are so many questions swimming in his head right now, and it’s hurting from a serious case of whiplash. Jeno goes off one summer and comes back to school with raging muscles, a nice haircut, and a girlfriend. Chenle goes to China and comes back with egg rolls and jelly.
Jeno bows again, a sorry smile hanging on his lips. “It’s a he. I’m actually the lucky one,” he ends with an awkward chuckle.
The girl’s eyes widen in surprise and she glances at Chenle, who returns her the same bewildered expression. It’s getting more awkward by the second. Immediately, she excuses herself and makes a run for it.
“Well. That was something,” Jeno remarks, pushing past the entire situation with a shrug. He’s still got this dreamy look on his face and he’s still smiling.
Yeah, that’s something alright, Chenle thinks. “You come back to school with raging muscles, a nice haircut, and a boyfriend ?”
“You think my haircut looks nice?” Jeno asks, surprised, and Chenle realizes he’s just said everything out loud.
Chenle’s about to lose his temper. “That’s what you’re surprised about?”
“What’s his name?” Renjun asks him after they’ve gotten their food.
Today, the cafeteria is serving seaweed soup, fish cakes, and pork in gochujang sauce. Jeno looks at his plate and feels like it’s going to be a good day.
“His name is Jaemin,” he answers. He scoops up a hefty mouthful of seaweed and tofu.
Chenle reaches into his lunch bag and tosses him a few jellies he’d brought back from China. “See, unlike you I thought of my friends when I was back home.”
Jeno shrugs. “Not my fault Kakao doesn’t work in China.”
“Okay but spill . He doesn’t go here, does he?” Renjun turns to Chenle, who just shakes his head.
“Well…” Jeno begins, thinking about where to begin.
He could tell them the long story, which goes a little something like this:
He meets a boy on the first day of summer vacation at a hagwon in Gangnam. Boy has a head of jet black hair, darker than dark, with bangs that part in the middle in a way that perfectly frames the sharp lines of his face. He opens his mouth and says he’s from Jeonju. He looks at Jeno and says his name is Jaemin.
Boy from Jeonju, Jaemin, sits next to Jeno from the first day. And from the first day, Jeno found it hard to concentrate — not with Jaemin sitting that close to him. It just wasn’t something that Jeno ever had to deal with before. The back of his neck would prickle with heat when Jaemin leaned over to help him with English, and he couldn’t ignore the way he preened when Jaemin commented on how good he was at science.
Everything about Jaemin was frustrating. The way his Levi’s jacket hung off his broad shoulders, the way he kicked back on his chair with a leg folded, shaking a scuffed converse sneaker, the way he looked at Jeno like he was the only other student in the room, as if they were anywhere else but the shoebox-sized cram school in Gangnam-gu. Even the way he slouched burned into his memory like an afterimage, and when he closed his eyes to sleep Jaemin was the only thing he could see.
Realistically, he’s going to cram school to get a good CSAT score to get into college, and even he knew that drooling over a boy from Jeonju, whom he’d probably never see again, would do nothing to help with his exam prep. At the end of the third week of summer, he pulls Jaemin aside to the GS25 convenience store just downstairs from the hagwon, and says to his face exactly what he thought.
“I think I like you, and I don’t know what to do,” he said, breathing through his nose to keep his breath steady. This would nip it in the bud , he thought. Jaemin would freak, probably change hagwons, and Jeno figured, they’d both be able to focus on studying. It’s a straightforward path from high school to college, except for the slight curveball with the realization that he liked guys now, so, scratch that— it’s a somewhat straightforward path from high school to college, and from college to some stuffy white-collar job, where he’d remain till he dies as a single bachelor.
“Hey, hey,” Jaemin’s voice cut through his thoughts just as he started spinning. He reached out to touch him, his fingers light as a ghost on the inside of his wrist. It was gentle, delicate, and Jeno felt like he could break as he was about to be let down.
“I like you too,” Jaemin smiled, looking down at his feet so that Jeno couldn’t see how stupidly wide his smile was. “Since the first day,” he admitted bashfully.
Jeno remembers staring at Jaemin that day for a good thirty seconds, dumbfounded as to why a guy like Jaemin, would be attracted to a guy like him . Jaemin, with his casually but not casually tousled hair, vintage denim, and just. Jeno didn’t know. His face . Jeno looked twelve next to him, dressed in cargo shorts and a loose t-shirt, his hair overgrown from when his mom had last trimmed it for him.
But then Jaemin just stood there with his fingers still wrapped around Jeno’s wrist. It slipped down so that now their fingers were touching, and they kept it that way under the table in GS25 while having melon soft serve.
Honestly, Jeno could wax poetic about his new boyfriend with tofu in his mouth all through lunch and maybe till the school bell rang, but he doubts that Chenle and Renjun would want to hear it. So he states, plainly, “We met at a hagwon.”
“He’s got that dreamy look on his face again,” Chenle teases. “Probably had a whole flashback while talking to us.”
The less they know , Jeno mused. He keeps to himself the vision of Jaemin’s cheeky grin from across the table, ice cream staining the wick of his mouth.
“What does he look like?” Renjun presses further.
Jeno digs into his pant pocket for his phone, flicking through dozens of pictures he’d saved or taken over the summer. Some of them are not meant for Chenle’s or Renjun’s eyes, so he’s careful. He could show them the one of Jaemin with a spilled milkshake running all the way down his shirt. Or the one of Jaemin in the gym, napping on the bench press. But Jeno’s also undeniably competitive , so he picks the one he knows will make Renjun and Chenle’s eyes pop out of their heads.
“Here,” he says, flipping his phone around.
Renjun and Chenle lean across the table for a better view.
It’s a selfie that Jaemin had taken on a weekend, when Jeno had offered to take him on a walk around Hongdae. It was a breezy night at the tail end of July and the evening air was decidedly crisp, carrying along with it the scent of grilled meat coming from the street side stalls. The sky glowed a brilliant dark magenta, lit aflame by the city lights.
“Hey, come here,” Jaemin called out to Jeno then, who was looking up directions on his phone. “Let’s take a picture.”
A hand wound around Jeno’s waist before he knew it and he was pulled to Jaemin’s side, fitting perfectly. The motley colors behind them brought the picture to life, and that was probably what Jaemin was trying to go for, but everytime Jeno looked at this picture he could only hone into how devastatingly beautiful Jaemin looked in his black leather jacket and skinny jeans. How long Jaemin’s lashes were, when he leaned in to give him a quick peck on the cheek right after.
“Are you sure he’s seventeen?” Chenle asks suspiciously. He narrows his eyes onto the multiple earrings on Jaemin’s left ear. The leather jacket. They way this boy has his snakey hands wrapped around Jeno’s waist.
“I’m pretty sure he’s the same age as me, Chenle,” Jeno shakes his head.
“Are you absolutely sure? Because he looks like…” a delinquent , Chenle wants to say, but he words it delicately, “he looks like he’s just older. What kind of seventeen year old dresses like that?”
“The cool, hot kind,” Jeno supplements unhelpfully. He’s holding out the picture of his boyfriend like a parent showing off their child and accomplishments.
“Okay stop,” Chenle says with his hand up. “Did you even study this summer?”
“I did study. With Jaemin. Duh.”
“Yeah right, you’re telling me he’s cool, hot, and smart?”
Jeno doesn’t even flinch. “Ya.”
Chenle doesn’t even know what to say. Jeno’s still got that lovestruck look in his eyes, but Chenle knows a red flag when he sees one. No way in hell Jeno would have studied all summer with a boyfriend like that .
Chenle’s also not trying to be nosy, but he’s nosy by nature so Jeno should be used to it by now. He wasn’t even the one who suggested they gun for the top three universities in Seoul — that was entirely Jeno’s idea and he’d swear by it. Chenle even remembers laughing when Jeno said that, because of course he would. The guy comes out of an exam panicking and ends up scoring in the top fifth percentile. It’s utterly infuriating.
At the end of the day, they’d made a pact — the three of them.
The finish line was in sight. November next year they’d be done with the CSAT, once and for all.
Jeno better not let himself get distracted.
In the sliver of time Jeno has between cleaning period and dinner , he sneaks his phone out to check his messages.
jaem (15:32)
help
jaem (15:32)
i m dying
jaem (15:48)
hello
jaem (15:55)
i m dead
jaem (15:55)
thanks for nothing
Jeno snickers to himself. Jaemin does have a penchant for being overdramatic.
jeno (16:15)
i was in class dumbass
jeno (16:15)
how was first day back
He’s about to slide his phone back into his pocket when it buzzes.
jaem (16:16)
bad
jaem (16:16)
chemistry makes my head hurt
jeno (16:17)
chemistry does not make your head hurt
jeno (16:17)
you only say that to make me check your work
jaem (16:17)
can you fault a man and his needs?
jaem (16:17)
(•¯ ∀ ¯•)
jeno (16:18)
my friends found out i have a boyfriend
jaem (16:18)
oh (￢‿￢ )
jeno (16:18)
they already think you’re a bad influence
jaem (16:18)
oh ㅠ_ㅠ
Jeno’s fingers hover over his keyboard, considering, but in the end Jaemin says it first.
jaem (16:19)
i miss you
jaem (16:19)
like so much it’s disgusting
Jeno can imagine the way Jaemin looks, slouched onto his desk using his textbooks as a pillow. He could see those sleepy eyes in between his bangs, a permanent ring of dark eye circles from a chronic lack of sleep.
He’d told Jeno about his schedule once: school, then hagwon, then self study till midnight, and thirty minutes of stupid videos on youtube to decompress. In the summer it was the same, with hagwon replacing school and Seoul replacing Jeonju.
“I stay with my dad on the holidays,” Jaemin explained when Jeno asked why he’d travelled to Seoul.
“Don’t worry, he’s chill,” he continued, shucking off his shoes at his front door.
The decor in Jaemin’s father’s Songpa-gu high-rise was sparse, and there was nothing in Jaemin’s bedroom that suggested that he stayed there for anywhere longer than a few months at a time. Still, Jaemin’s father did his best to make it feel like home.
“I told him you were coming for dinner,” he turned to Jeno to say. Jeno was still fumbling with his shoelaces. “I don’t tell my mom this but my dad’s fried rice is better than hers.”
Jeno found out why later, after two bowls and a heapful of deep fried spam.
Jaemin’s father left them alone in the dining room to study afterwards, and they stayed there till about eleven, when Jeno figured it was probably time to go home. He looked up from his notes to Jaemin, who was resting his chin on folded arms. His bangs were just beneath his eyebrows then.
Jeno wonders if he got them trimmed since he’s been home.
jeno (16:20)
miss you more
jeno (16:21)
can’t wait till you visit in a month!!
Jeno types into his phone, barely able to hide his smile.
“Ya Jeno,” he hears Chenle shout from behind him. Oops . “Are you using that broom to clean or what?
Renjun’s minding his own business in the student council storeroom when Chenle starts complaining again. He puts down his clipboard of inventory items they were preparing for Chuseok decorations.
“What now, Chenle?” He says to the boy, who has his eyes fixated on his SNS.
“I can’t find a Na Jaemin on the internet,” Chenle mulls over the Naver search engine result. “With that face he must be an ulzzang, but I can’t find any of his social media. I’m beginning to think he doesn’t exist.”
“Maybe he’s too busy studying to be a social media influencer. Ever think about that?” Renjun suggests. Really, does Chenle think Jeno’s conjured up an imaginary boyfriend all up in his head?
“Okay but look, everyone has to have a digital trail on the internet. I mean, come on, this is 2018. Even you have pictures on the internet.”
Renjun snorts. “Not everyone has the privilege of having a childhood picture of themselves holding a rifle on the internet.”
“Touché,” Chenle admits, then quickly recovers. “Fine. Whatever. But you’re noticing it too right? Jeno’s different now. Always looking at his phone. He should be here by now helping us—”
“Helping me,” Renjun corrects, because Chenle has done jackshit in the past fifteen minutes.
“Look, Jeno knows what he’s doing okay? Plus this is the happiest I’ve ever seen him, and he’s not even in the presence of his boyfriend,” Renjun says. He knows it’s true. Jeno had always been solely focused on studying for as long as Renjun’s known him. He doesn’t even want to go to the PC bang even after exams. To think all it took for the boy to leave the house was teenage love.
“What do you know, you’ve never been in a relationship before,” Renjun adds, just to make Chenle angry.
“Neither have you,” Chenle says back, and god Renjun should have expected that.
They look at each other and both sigh.
At night, when Jeno has trouble sleeping, he rolls over in bed to his bedside table to grab his phone.
jeno (12:20)
u awake?
jaem (12:23)
ㅎ_ㅎ
jaem (12:23)
i am now
jaem (12:24)
just kidding, was about to sleep. what’s up
Jeno just decides to give him a call, speaking softly under his covers so that his mom doesn’t hear.
“Ahh Jenoo,” Jaemin drawls on the last syllable in an extended yawn when he picks up. Jeno hears the sound of Jaemin stretching in his sheets.
“Jaem, jaem, jaem,” Jeno mumbles idly, relishing in just the sound of Jaemin breathing through the receiver. Feels as close to him being next to him.
“I think my ear piercing is infected. The earlobe’s a little swollen,” he says. Jeno reaches up to touch the plain silver hoop around his cartilage.
“Maybe you gotta clean it with the alcohol solution the dude gave you. Like take the earring out, clean it, then put it back in,” Jaemin suggests.
“Hngg noo,” Jeno whines, sound muffled by his bedsheets. “What if the hole closes and I can’t put it back in.”
“It’s not going to close as soon as you take it out, stupid,” Jaemin chides. Adding a beat later, “It was even your idea to go get them pierced. And your friends think I’m the bad influence.”
“Can you blame me? I only wanted them because my super hot, handsome, smart boyfriend has his ears pierced. Let me live my fantasy in peace, Na Jaemin,” Jeno grins to himself like a stupid fool. His heart feels light, and quickly all his thoughts of insomnia and school leave his head.
“Oh yeah? ‘My super hot, handsome, smart boyfriend’? That’s fresh, Lee Jeno,” Jaemin shakes his head at how ridiculous it sounds.
“It’s true,” Jeno replies, thinking about how his super hot boyfriend held his hand the entire time he sat in the parlor, all the way until after he got his ears pierced. His super smart boyfriend even told him what to say to his parents to explain the piercings when he got home.
His parents had even noticed the new clothes he bought, but it’s just a couple shirts and a pair of adidas sweats. He bought them all on his own without Jaemin’s help, just because he stupidly wanted to be Jaemin’s super hot, handsome, smart boyfriend too, and he knew he couldn’t play the part with graphic tees and running shoes.
When Jaemin saw Jeno in class the next day, the first thing he said was: “Why’d you change your clothes?”
Jeno looked up from his textbook. “To look nice next to you,” he said simply.
Jaemin’s face burned then, all rose and pink flush up his neck that tinged the tips of his ears. He kept his thigh pressed against Jeno’s all throughout class. At Jeno’s house later that evening they went through his entire wardrobe — sieving through what was salvageable, to what Jeno genuinely needed to toss.
The faded t-shirts with peeling vinyl went first, then the stuffy polo shirts he hadn’t worn in years. Jaemin convinced him to keep the cargo shorts, despite Jeno’s own misgivings. “You wore those the first day I met you,” he ruminated on it. “Thought it was cute how you had so many things in your pockets.”
Jeno burrowed his head into his comforter in embarrassment. To hell with the khaki utility shorts.
“I wish you were here right now,” Jeno says now, presently. He keeps a pillow over his chest and pretends it’s Jaemin’s body weight. He doesn’t take his eyes off the ceiling’s concavities, blur of shadow and light.
“Me too, Jeno-ya, me too.”
“So what have you guys like… done?” Renjun asks out of curiosity over lunch a week or two later.
Chenle almost chokes on his soup.
“Done like, activities?” Jeno clarifies. God bless his soul.
“Yes like activities ,” Renjun replies. As if the intonation helps. Chenle is a hundred percent sure Jeno doesn’t even know what Renjun is implying.
“Umm,” Jeno thinks, and Chenle for a second fears that he gets it and it’s going to be a case of TMI, but Jeno all but subverts his expectations.
“We did a practice exam together.”
Chenle casts a knowing look to Renjun and gets a slap under the table.
“We also ate dinner together at the convenience store downstairs, or at my house or his house, depending on whose parents were cooking the better dinner,” Jeno says.
“That’s it?” Renjun asks. He sinks his chin into his palm. Chenle wonders what he even was expecting, so he decides to try his approach. The direct approach.
“Did you guys kiss yet?”
This time it’s Jeno who chokes on his soup. Chenle gives him a few pats on his back patiently. “There, there.”
“Ah you guys are the worst, why are you asking me all these questions?” Jeno complains.
“Excuse us for caring,” Chenle says, “but as your concerned best friends—”
“Overly concerned best friends,” Jeno feels the need to correct.
“We just wanna know. It’s just for fun, you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to,” Chenle relents.
“We uh, just mainly hold hands and stuff. He kissed my cheek once, but that was about it.” Jeno rubbed his nape, which started to feel feverish to the touch.
“Oh,” Chenle says, trying to hide to his surprise. Jeno’s bad boy boyfriend seemed like the type to just take what he wanted, not the type to just hold Jeno’s hand under the table while eating instant noodles at the convenience store.
Another anomaly to add to Chenle’s list.
Jeno wishes he had been braver then, the day Jaemin left Seoul for Jeonju. To Jaemin it probably was routine, shuttling between cities. For Jeno, it was the first time he’s had to say goodbye. His entire family, immediate and extended, has always lived in Seoul. He’s only ever known Seoul.
Now, he’s familiar with Jeonju’s gentle lullaby, the lilting tune that left Jaemin’s mouth idly as he kicked pebbles by the park downstairs from his apartment.
He decided against sending Jaemin off at the train station because Jaemin’s father would be there, and it would be hard to explain why Jaemin’s summer study buddy was so attached that he’d followed him to the station to say goodbye. So he was here now, hands stuffed in his pockets and unsure what to say.
“It’s gonna suck without you around,” Jeno sniffed.
Jaemin unclicked his helmet straps and slipped his helmet off, hooking it onto his bike handles. “I know,” he agreed. He reached out to pinch Jeno’s cheeks.
Jeno’s face felt so warm.
“Don’t look so sad, come on. I’m visiting next month for Chuseok.” Jaemin said, bumping Jeno’s shoulder with his own. They started walking back to the lobby.
“This year’s gonna fly by, then next year we’ll have our heads in our books the whole time, and before you know it Suneung’s going to come and go, and we’ll have all the time in the world to hang out.”
“That’s terrifying,” Jeno said, thinking about the ordeal of sitting through the eight-hour exam.
Jaemin must have been thinking the same, agreeing, “I know.”
He continued, “Plus — you’re gonna be so busy with school you won’t even have time to think about me!” Jaemin quipped.
Untrue , Jeno thinks in retrospect, head swimming in happy thoughts.
They arrived at Jaemin’s lift landing.
“One for the road?” Jaemin smiled, outstretching his arms. He looked so beautiful at that moment, Jeno recalled distinctly. Paper thin white tee hanging off his lean, wiry frame. His eyes, a honeyed hue, the bittersweet crinkle at its corners, coming through his wind-troubled bangs.
“Yeah,” Jeno breathed, letting out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. He fell into place in Jaemin’s arms, finding comfort in the way skin touched skin. He’s seventeen, and rightfully so, this was all it took to get his heart racing a staccato beat, so pervasive he heard it thrumming in his ears.
For a moment he felt he could be daring — how many nights in a row he had dreamed of pulling Jaemin close — but as soon as he let go, Jaemin’s phone started to vibrate in his pocket.
“I’ve gotta go,” Jaemin said mournfully. He managed a small smile for Jeno.
“Yeah,” Jeno said, watching Jaemin walk into the elevator. He managed a small smile in return.
The Chuseok holidays come a few days right after a series of tests, and Jeno’s been too preoccupied to notice until Jaemin texts him.
jaem (12:10)
hey what time do you finish school on friday?
jeno (12:10)
why
jaem (12:11)
why you gotta ask why for everything >:(
jaem (12:11)
did you forget?
Jeno stared at his phone. What did he forget?
jaem (12:12)
looks like you didn’t miss me a single bit!
jaem (12:12)
ㅗㅗ
jeno (12:12)
ahhh i see you this weekend!!!
jeno (12:12)
shit
jaem (12:12)
you’re the worst
jeno (12:12)
oh ya? whatcha gonna do about it?
jaem (12:12)
=.=
jaem (12:12)
you’ll see
“Ahem,” Chenle coughs. He’s standing at the top of the ladder to put up decorations, and Jeno’s being absolutely useless. “Don’t make me come down there and fight you.”
“Ye, ye,” Jeno sighs, stuffing his phone in his pants. He hands a few more paper lanterns to Chenle.
“So,” Chenle says after a while. “What’d your bad boy boyfriend say this time?”
Jeno huffs. “I already told you he’s not a bad boy. He’s a good boy. The kind you can bring home to your parents.”
“Oh yeah? What’d your parents say when you told them you got your ears pierced?” Chenle asks. He reaches out for another lantern.
“I told them we got them pierced together. And that it was my idea.”
“Damn, he’s got you lying to your parents,” Chenle shakes his head, teasing. “Then what’d they say?”
“I told them Jaemin topped our hagwon class for one of the tests we took,” Jeno replies.
“Low bar.”
“Hey!” Jeno groans. He hovers his hand over the ladder. “I took that test too, so he beat me . How’s that a low bar?”
“You shake that and I fall and die, Lee Jeno. Say goodbye to your one and only friend,” Chenle threatens.
“I’ll still have Renjun.” Jeno crosses his arms, smirking.
“He’ll be at my funeral crying, remember what you did to me,” Chenle says.
“I’ll still have Jaemin.” Jeno darts a look to Chenle’s tomato red face. Chenle’s practically fuming at the ears, and boy does Jeno enjoy bickering with him.
“Why are we always talking about Jaemin?” Chenle huffs.
“Beats me, why are you so obsessed with my boyfriend?”
Chenle sputters, stomping down the ladder.
“He’s visiting this weekend actually. So you bet I’m going to be talking all about him today. And tomorrow. All the way till the end of time,” Jeno says proudly, knowing he’s won.
It’s 5pm on a Friday and the three of them are trudging out of school when Chenle spots a mysterious figure hanging around the front gate. He’s leaning against the brick wall in a black leather jacket, white tee tucked into a pair of black ripped jeans. The boy’s watching the passing cars, oblivious to the dozens of turning heads as students stream out of the gate.
As if on instinct, he turns around the second they approach the gate, lifting his sunglasses to perch up in his shock of jet black hair. His smile is cocky, his teeth are straight and white, and Chenle has studied this face too many times to not know who this fucking is.
There’s nothing he can do but watch in awe as Jaemin, in the flesh, approaches Jeno. He’s only got eyes for Jeno, the way his eyes travel across Jeno’s body, and Chenle makes the mistake of looking for Jeno’s reaction. Because there he is: lips chapped, thirsty, and ready to drink all of Jaemin in.
“What the fuck are you wearing?” Jeno sputters senselessly when Jaemin’s arms wind around his neck. He looks both pleased and mortified at the same time.
Jaemin has the audacity to act coy. “You told me your friends think I’m a bad boy .” He steps back to let Jeno have a better look. “Like how I look?”
Jeno’s at a loss for words, and Chenle feels a need to step in. “Jeno means to say yes. Once he remembers how to talk. I think you short-circuited his brain.” Chenle taps Jeno’s temple to make sure all systems are running.
Jeno slaps Chenle’s hand away, mumbling incoherently about his surprise and how’d he even get here so quickly , then he’s dashing into Jaemin’s arms again to pull him into a tight hug. There’s an audible sigh that comes from the two of them. Chenle sees how Jeno’s fingers tighten around Jaemin’s waist, and for a second he almost admits how cute it is.
“Surprise,” Jaemin says. “I had to change in the train station bathroom because if I had worn this out of the house I think my mom would have killed me.”
“That would be bad.”
“Ya. Super bad.”
Jeno nods. “The baddest.”
Oh god , Chenle’s eyes are about to make a full revolution in its sockets.
“School let out early today, so I’m here,” Jaemin smiles, now turning to greet Renjun and Chenle, who’d been, up to this point, unfortunate witnesses of Jeno breaking down in front of his boyfriend.
“Nice to meet you, I’m Jaemin,” he introduced himself with a bow.
“Ah, we’ve heard,” Renjun bows back. “I’m Renjun,” he says, then points: “That’s Chenle.”
“So!” Jaemin says now, perkily. He claps his hands together. “Where were you guys headed off to?”
Jeno casts a look around the group. “Was just gonna go home. I dunno. Wait for you to come.”
“I was going to go home to sleep,” Renjun shrugs.
“Same,” Chenle echoes, truthfully.
“Well, it seems like everyone’s free then. We should go do something!” Jaemin says. Chenle has a feeling this is supposed to be their date, and he’d rather not be the third wheel.
“PC bang?” Renjun suggests. It’s the easiest option.
“You guys can go ahead, we don’t wanna intrude on date night and all,” Chenle says.
“Noo, Jeno sucks at PUBG. We need a team to play,” Jaemin whines, and Jeno playfully punches his shoulder. Ow, Jaemin pouts, nursing the spot where Jeno had lightly tapped.
“I’m down to play, but we’re still in our school uniforms,” Chenle says. If they went to the PC bang in their uniforms the staff would probably give them those large oversized shirts to wear, and god knows when those have last been washed.
“Let’s go to my house first, it’s the closest,” Jeno suggests. “I’ll get us all something to wear.”
Jaemin finds himself sitting alone with Renjun and Chenle in Jeno’s living room while Jeno’s digging through his closet. Inevitably, he ends up getting questioned the moment Jeno’s out of sight. The questions come barrelling at him, and Chenle’s making sure to milk all the time he’s got.
“How’d you guys meet?” Chenle asks immediately. Jaemin wonders how much of the story they already know.
He remembered walking into the Gangnam hagwon, slightly self-conscious because he didn’t know anybody there. He’s nervous, so he’s early, but when he ascended to the top of the stairs he saw another boy sitting outside the door, waiting for the center to be opened. Jaemin was immediately drawn to his youthful visage, how his eyes curved into crescents when he smiled, how the boy pulled out three different flavors of gum from his cargo shorts and asked him to pick.
“We met at a hagwon, but I guess you know that already,” Jaemin chuckles.
“What do you like about Jeno?” Renjun interrogates next.
So many things , it’s embarrassing . Even thinking about it makes Jaemin’s palms sweat in embarrassment. “Um. He’s cute. And kind. Just being around him makes me feel happy, like anything’s possible. Sorry, that came out sounding weird, I know.”
A comfortable silence settles among them. Jaemin thinks he’s managed to convince Jeno’s friends that he’s actually a nice person after all.
“So. Jeonju huh,” Chenle cracks the ice with some small talk. “What’s fun to do there?”
“Not much, if I’m being honest. That’s why I’m trying hard to get into a university in Seoul,” he reveals. There’s more that he could say — Jeno’s here , for one. Jaemin keeps that to himself for now. Not even Jeno’s heard it.
Jeno returns with an armful of clothes, but he doesn’t give them any options. He hands Jaemin one of his own pullovers that he’d left behind just before he returned to Jeonju. Smells a little like Jeno now, he realizes when he slips it on.
“Why do I get the ninja turtle t-shirt?” Chenle complains, holding up the offending article of fabric.
“That’s what you get for being my overly concerned best friend. Take it or leave it,” Jeno snickers, hopping onto the couch next to Jaemin. His body is so close, and it feels unreal to have him this close again, even though it’s only been a month or two.
It was hard not having Jeno around. There were times that he wanted to turn around and say something stupid to him, but then Jeno wouldn’t be there, obviously. He wiggles his fingers closer to Jeno’s, which are resting on his thigh. He runs a tentative touch on the inside of Jeno’s pinky, and Jeno’s hands make quick work to wrap Jaemin’s with his own.
“Wow, Jeno, you are really bad at this,” Jaemin jokes when Jeno dies in PUBG within the first five minutes. “Chenle’s killing it, like look at him go,” he says, watching Chenle over his shoulder.
They’re sitting in a row at a PC bang ten minutes away. It’s the first time Jeno’s ever been in a PC bang, period.
“Cut me some slack, be glad I even came,” Jeno huffs petulantly, watching over the action as a ghost. “Ask Renjun and Chenle.”
“Yeah dude, you don’t know how long I’ve been trying to get Jeno to leave his house,” Chenle laughs, furiously clicking on his mouse to reload his weapons. “Guess we’ll have to bring Jaemin everywhere now to get you to hang out. The good ol’ carrot-and-stick.”
“My boyfriend and my best friends are ganging up on me. You guys are the worst ,” Jeno grumbles, crossing his arms. He gives Jaemin a pointed look, but he’s all bite and no bark, especially with the way he softens as soon as Jaemin squeezes his thigh.
“Jenooo, don’t be mad. Look I died too, I’ll buy you food.”
Jaemin clicks through the menu on the screen. “Cheese ramyeon, sausage rice cakes, chicken nuggets, I’ll buy you everything!”
Jeno releases the pout he’d been holding, to Jaemin’s delight. “Fine. I want everything on this menu.”
About an hour and eight kills later (in which Jeno gets killed eight times), Jeno eventually finds an excuse to pull Jaemin away. They stumble out to the ground floor entrance, standing by the quiet roadside. Seoul in the evening shimmered with radiant lights, but here in this tucked away alley it feels closer to the chest. A smaller enclosed space that made him feel like they were the only two people in the world.
It’s started to get cold by October. Jeno hates to see time go by so quickly. This time next year they’d be slogging over practice tests. All three years of high school, culminating in one life-changing exam.
Jeno looks out at the milky light emanating from the street lamps. Within it he began to see the slightest hint of a drizzle.
“Are you cold?” Jaemin asks, looking over. His shoulder bumps the other’s in question.
Jeno shakes his head. He contemplates what to say next. All this week he’d been thinking about what he’d longed to do with Jaemin, but here and now he feels himself paralyzed by the thought that it’ll be over before he knows it.
“Hey, you’re thinking in your head again,” Jaemin breaks him out of his thoughts. Cheekily, he leans over to whisper in Jeno’s ear, “Tell me all your secrets, mister.”
“I just thought about how you’re leaving after the weekend ends, and then I made myself sad again,” Jeno admits ruefully, shrinking a little more into his hoodie.
“No no no. No sad thoughts allowed. Bad Jeno,” Jaemin scolds, flicking Jeno on his forehead lightly. “No.”
Jeno relaxes into Jaemin’s side, leaning his head on the other’s shoulder. Jaemin sneaks a hand into the front pocket of Jeno’s pullover.
“We have so much time. We were planning to go cycling tomorrow, weren’t we? I saw pictures of the reed field in Olympic Park and we need to go because I need you to take pictures of me. And then we can hit up the library, like you mentioned. Still gotta study, haha,” Jaemin grinned. “Anything else you’ve been wanting to do?”
“Mm, yeah,” Jeno contemplates, shifting his weight from one leg to another. A lot of things, actually . One that’s been on my mind for the longest time , he thinks, feeling bold.
“This,” he whispers low, leaning up now. His hands find its way to trace the sharp line of Jaemin’s jaw, down to where it meets his neck, and leaves it to linger by the small hairs at the base of his neck. The ghost of a touch leaves them standing.
Jeno had been thinking about this for so long that his body moved on autopilot.
He notices Jaemin’s beautiful, long lashes flutter when his eyelids close. Feels the charge of electricity when Jaemin leans in, skin touching skin, setting him alight. The grip of Jaemin’s hand on his waist tells him how much Jaemin wants it too. He parts his lips just so, then closes the gap.
“They’ve been in the bathroom for an awfully long time, don’t you think?” Renjun remarks, slurping down the rest of his ramyeon.
“Ew, I hope I’m not thinking what you’re thinking,” Chenle says.
Renjun chuckles. “Admit it Chenle, you’re starting to warm up to Jaemin.”
“ What ,” Chenle scoffs, maintaining his position that Jaemin is probably the worst thing that’s happened to Jeno. After tonight, he considers amending it to the best worst thing. He’s got a long way ahead of him to prove his worth as Jeno’s boyfriend.
“Anyway, we should find them soon because they’re asking us to pay, and…” Renjun trails off, casting a worried look at the three bowls of cheese ramyeon, two trays of rice cakes, and milkshake split between Jaemin’s and Jeno’s vacant seats.
“Yeah, yeah, send me off to witness the unthinkable,” Chenle grumbles, but he’s already standing up and walking over to the bathroom.
To his relief, the bathroom is empty. He pauses. Did they just dine-and-dash?
God, they owe me so much for this , he seethes, stalking over to the counter by the front door. There, he sees through the glass door the faint silhouette of two boys in the low light of the evening, the shape of Jeno’s and Jaemin’s bodies unmistakable. Perfect , he thinks, relieved.
He’s about to open the front door to get Jaemin and Jeno to pay for their food, but he halts in his tracks when he sees Jeno lean closer, his nose bumping Jaemin’s lightly. The shake of Jaemin’s shoulders tells him that he’s laughing. The sliver of light between the two heads disappears, and Chenle looks away knowing he’s seen too much.
He shakes himself out of it.
Tries to unsee absolutely everything.
The things I do for my friends, he says to himself, unable to hide his own smile. He pulls his debit card from his wallet, sighs, and makes his way back to the cashier.