Chapter Text
You could call me “babe” for the weekend
Tis the damn season,
write this down
I’m stayin’ at my parents’ house
And the road not taken looks real good now
And it always leads to you in my hometown
Kiara loves Christmas. Growing up, Christmas had meant singing carols with her mom in the car on the way to pick up a Christmas tree. Dancing to those Christmas carols with her dad while decorating the tree. She even didn’t mind having to go see her mom’s side of the family because that meant New York City. Kiara’s a country person at heart, and a warm-weather person as well, but there’s something magical about Christmas in New York, about seeing huge piles of snowfall down and get pushed into piles on sidewalks and driveways. There’s ice skating and skiing and snowmobiling, watching the Christmas Spectacular, and spending time with family members she doesn’t really like in order to spend time with family members that she does.
This year is no different – Kiara’s been singing Christmas carols the whole ride home from college and is still humming I Want a Hippopotamus For Christmas as she walks into her house.
“Hello! Anyone home?” She calls, taking off her winter gear and hanging them in the closet.
“Kiara!” her mom exclaims, literally sliding into the room with a bright smile on her face, Aunt Charlotte on her heels (her mom is always more fun when her sister is around, Aunt Charlotte just has that effect on people). Both women run up to crush Kiara in a hug and she laughs as she hugs them back. Asks playfully, “you two been into the wine already?”
“Without you? Wouldn’t think of it sweetie,” aunt Charlotte says with a smile, tossing her curly brown hair and walking over to the counter to pour them all a glass.
“Where’s dad?”
“The Wreck, where else?” her mom responds, “you know how he gets about leaving work.”
“Well, how’s college? Studying hard I hope?” Her aunt asks, handing her a glass.
“It’s great! I just got back from my last study abroad trip a few weeks ago and I want to go to Australia over the summer, maybe get a job in animal rescue for the two months.”
“Look at you, so worldly. Can you believe we’ve got such a traveler on our hands, Anna? Now, for the million-dollar question. Any college boys or girls you might be looking to bring home?” Her aunt asks, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Kiara wrinkles her nose, “well, I’m here by myself, aren’t I?”
Both women sigh, Charlotte looks at her sympathetically.
Kiara looks between them, feeling like she’s missing something important. “What? What’s that look?”
Aunt Charlotte glances at Anna before explaining, “We were hoping you might have someone you could bring to Christmas because your dearest grandmother has decided Christmas would be a perfect time to introduce you to suitable young men.”
Kiara’s jaw drops open. So much for being excited about Christmas. “You have to stop her!”
“Oh, we tried,” her mom says tiredly. “I’m really sorry, Kie. I know this puts a bit of a damper on Christmas but… you know, maybe it’ll be good--”
That’s all Kiara needs to hear before she cuts her mother off with a groan. “I need to leave.”
“Kiara! You haven’t even unpacked!” Her mom calls after her, but Kiara is already halfway out the door.
She yells, “I'll be back for dinner!” and slams the door behind her.
***
When Kiara gets to the Chateau she sees the Twinkie gone and almost turns around, assuming John B and Sarah were out, but then Sarah is out on the porch calling her name and waving. Kie stops the car and rushes out to greet her friend, colliding in a mess of giggles as they hug.
“God, I missed you so much,” Sarah says as they head inside.
“You too,” Kie responds softly and means it.
“Where’s John B?”
“He and JJ went out about an hour ago. They’ll turn up eventually.”
Kiara hums in agreement, makes small talk with Sarah about college and traveling abroad.
“So, are you ready to head to NYC? I’m so jealous, I’d love to see the city at Christmas time.”
Kiara groans at the mention of the now dreaded trip, flopping down on the couch, and dramatically slinging her arm over her face. “I would be, if I hadn't just been warned in advance that my grandmother is trying to set me up with,” Kiara sits up and mimics a posh American accent, “suitable young men.”
Sarah gasps, “No!”
“Yes! And you know my grandmother is going to find the most bougie, douchie, stick up his ass trust fund asshole she can scrounge up. I mean how do explain that I do not want to be some fucking trophy wife?!”
“Could you take someone?”
“I don’t have anyone to take Sarah, that's part of the problem.”
Sarah fixes her with a glare. “No, I mean you could take a friend and just like… pretend you’re dating.”
Kiara just laughs, looks at Sarah incredulously, “do I look like I’m in a fucking fanfiction to you?”
Sarah frowns at her, “what?”
“Nevermind,” Kiara grumbles, of course, Sarah wouldn’t get that.
“Well, the only other option is spending Christmas with a bunch of stuck-up trust fund douches so take your pick.”
As stupid as Sarah’s idea is, it anything sound better than getting set up by her grandmother . She asks hopefully, “can I borrow John B?”
Sarah snorts, “how much will you pay me?”
Kiara raises her eyebrows, “really?”
“No! I’m kidding, he’s not a rent-a-boyfriend.”
“Hmm, shame.”
“I’m thinking more along the lines of someone who is actually single.”
Kiara intentionally ignores Sarah’s suggestive tone. “Well, all of my college friends are home with their families, sooo...”
“You have friends here too.”
“I’m not taking Pope away from his family on Christmas. Besides, he has a boyfriend.” Kiara pauses thoughtfully for a second then gasps and looks up at Sarah. “You wanna come?”
Sarah’s jaw falls open, and then she slams it shut, her face an angry blend of disbelief and annoyance. “For fuck’s sake Kiara!” She exclaims, “if only you had a super hot, completely single best friend with no family plans! Oh, wait you do .”
“No,” Kiara says, standing up from the couch and pointing at Sarah, “not happening.”
Sarah scoffs. “Why not? It’s perfect?”
“You want me to take JJ on a trip to New York to spend time with my family ? I’m not putting him through that. And I don’t wanna interrupt his plans with you guys.”
Sarah scoffs. “First of all, his ‘plans with us’ are to show up for thirty minutes, eat dinner, say hi to Wheezie, and go back to moping in his apartment. He needs this, Kie! And I’m sure he could make hanging out with your family so much more fun.”
“I can’t ask JJ okay? Can you drop it? I’ll just … suffer.” Kiara says in a huff, grabbing a beer out of the fridge because she doesn’t think she can continue this conversation sober.
“Why?” Sarah asks pointedly.
“Why what?”
“Why can’t you ask JJ?”
“I just fucking told you.”
“Oh please, that was bullshit.”
Kie sighs and moves back to plop down on the couch. She does have a very good reason, a reason that she’s been doing her best to suppress for almost a year now. She promised herself she wouldn’t tell anyone, especially Sarah. She knows that once she tells Sarah, the little box in the back of her mind where she’s burying all her feelings will be smashed open and she’ll have to actually deal with them. Yup, hard pass on that one.
“You know what it sounds like a great plan Sarah, ‘Oh hey JJ, I know that you just went through a really bad break up with your piece of shit ex-girlfriend but heeyyy wanna pretend to date me and spend Christmas with my whole family’!”
Sarah rolls her eyes. “Just ask him, Kie. See what he says. I’m sure he could use to take his mind off things, get off of this fucking island. I think you’d be helping him as much as he’d be helping you.”
Kiara opens her mouth to respond but is cut off by the sound of the door slamming open and John B and JJ bantering about something incoherent. Sarah gives her a pointed look and looks over to greet them, “hey guys!”
“Kie!” John B exclaims when he sees her, running up and crushing her in a bear hug.
“Hey, John B. I missed you too,” Kie says, pecking him on the cheek.
Sarah walks over to them and wraps an arm around his waist, whispers something in his ear while JJ and Kiara watch them in bored disgust.
John B turns back to them, says, “So, um, I’m gonna go take a shower, we- I’ll be out in a few and we can all hang out.”
JJ makes a gagging motion at Kie and she has to stifle a giggle.
“For fuck’s sake, can you two at least pretend to be discreet?” JJ asks, but there’s no heat to it and a smile is tugging at his lips.
“You’re one to talk,” John B accuses.
Sarah just shrugs at JJ and slaps John B’s ass. “C’mon, babe.”
“Don’t be too loud in there!” JJ calls after them, both Sarah and John B flip him off.
JJ chuckles, finally turning to her.
“I swear to god they get worse every year,” she says with a small smile.
“You’re telling me. I’m surprised I haven’t gouged my ears out.”
“Its eyes you gouge out, Jay.”
“I can gouge my ears out if I want to.”
They both laugh. “It’s good to see you,” Kiara says, opening her arms for a hug. JJ obliges, his arms settling around her waist and his forehead resting on her shoulder. It’s softer and infinitely more intimate than the hug she shared with John B.
When they pull away JJ lets out a shuddery breath, softly says, “I missed you.”
Kiara purses her lips rests her hand on his forearm in what she hopes is a comforting gesture. “I missed you, too. You okay?”
He sighs. “Yeah, yeah I’m okay.”
It’s not true, they both know it, but Kiara decides not to call him out on it.
“You wanna talk about it?” She asks instead, guessing his answer before he responds.
“Nah.” He walks over to the fridge. “Beer?”
She holds up the one already in her hand and he nods, taking one for himself and sitting down on the couch. Kie sits down beside him. He doesn’t ask her about college – she’s already told him everything about it over the phone – and she doesn’t ask him how he’s been, because she knows he hasn’t been good since breaking up with Amber. Not that he was doing very well while he was with Amber and, god, what Kiara would give to punch that girl in the face.
“When are you heading out?” JJ asks.
“Huh? Oh, uh, I have a couple of days. Are you going to Tannyhill for Christmas?”
“Probably. Go save Sneezie from dinner with the lovebirds, might pop in on Pope’s. Maybe even see my dad.”
“JJ-”
He cuts her off, a guarded edge to his voice, “Don’t, Kie- please,” the edge in his voice disappears, replaced with a tired, pleading tone, “he’s my dad.”
He says it like it means everything, like that’s all the explanation he needs. It’s enough to convince Kiara that Sarah is right, he needs this just as much, if not more, than she does. Fuck her feelings, he can’t see his dad or end up hooking up with Amber again if he’s miles away in New York with her.
“Come to New York with me,” she says quickly, and it’s more of a demand than a request.
JJ chokes on his beer, “ excuse me ?”
Kiara swallows, she has to play this right. JJ’s just as stubborn as she is, and she’ll never get him to do what she wants by trying to force him into it and he won’t do anything for himself. He has to believe it’s entirely for her benefit.
“Okay, so you know how we always go to see my grandparents in the City for Christmas each year?”
JJ frowns at her with a confused, wary expression on his face, “yeah?”
“Well, apparently, my grandmother is looking to set up with this year and I just know the guys she picks out are going to be like Rafe level Kooky asshats and it’ll completely ruin my Christmas.”
“Damn, Kie, that sucks. But uh, how did I come into this?”
“Well,” she starts slowly, “Sarah suggested that I take a friend and pretend that we’re dating. Ya know, to keep my grandmother off my dick.”
JJ stares at her in disbelief, then bursts out laughing.
“JJ!” she exclaims, but there's a smile on her face as well, “I’m being serious!”
“You,” he says slowly, still somewhat breathless, “want me to be the fake boyfriend that you bring home for Christmas?
“Look, I know it’s asking a lot, but we won’t have to spend the whole time with my family. I barely get to see you now that I’m in college. It’ll be nice to catch up.”
“Kie, we text all the time.”
“Catch up in person. It’s different.”
“Kie-”
Desperate times call for desperate measures. “Please, JJ?” she asks, acting like she’s not intentionally fluttering her eyelashes, JJ may be stubborn as fuck but he gives in real quick if you ask nicely. “You’d really be saving my Christmas.”
Kiara tries to hide her smirk as he visibly breaks.
“Fine, but you owe me. Big time.”
“Yes!” Kie exclaims, throwing her arms around his shoulders, and pecking him on the cheek, ignoring the way her stomach does a flip when she does. “Thank you!” Then adds teasingly, “my hero, really.”
He smirks, “you know, I kinda like the sound of that.”
“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it. Your head's big enough as it is,” she says flicking him lightly on the forehead.
JJ tickles her sides in retaliation, and Kie bursts into giggles and squirms away from him but ends up falling into his lap. Maybe Christmas won’t be so bad after all.
Friends don't call you in the middle of the night
Couldn't even tell you why
They just felt like saying "hi"
Friends don't stand around, playing with their keys
Finding reasons not to leave
Trying to hide the chemistry
Drive a little too slow, take the long way home
Get a little too close
We do, but friends don't
Kiara wonders if all families have such a hard time getting out the door for vacations or if it’s just the Carrera’s. Her mom is rushing through their bags and asking everyone if they’re sure they have everything, her dad is trying in vain to convince her to relax, and her aunt is sipping a glass of wine, watching the scene in amusement. Her mom is about five seconds away from snapping at her dad when there’s a knock on the door.
“I got it!” She exclaims, sliding off her stool and practically running to the door.
She must open it with a little too much enthusiasm because JJ raises an eyebrow at her and smirks. “Excited to see me?”
“Excited to finally have someone to share in my suffering,” she responds with a smile, “you have warmer clothes than that, right?”
She glances down at his outfit: a pair of jeans (rare for him, she’s impressed), a pelican marina T-shirt (has he had that since high school?), and a black and gray flannel over top of it that brings out the blue in his eyes (why the fuck is that so hot?).
“Nah, I don’t believe in jackets...”
She raises her eyebrows at him and he smirks back at her, “yes, Mom, I brought warmer clothes.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Or that.”
“So sorry, my dearest beloved,” he deadpans.
Kiara rolls her eyes. “Oh, shut up.”
“What? I’m supposed to be your boyfriend, right? I’m just playing the part. John B and Sarah are the only healthy relationship I know.” He says it lightly, with a bright grin, but Kiara feels her mood fall.
JJ must notice because he clears his throat. “Uh, are you gonna let me in or just stand here checking me out all day while I’m freezing my ass off?”
Kiara scoffs, trying to hide the heat crawling across her face, mumbles, “as if there’s anything to check out,” and steps aside to let him in. She frowns as she notices a tiny bruise blossoming on his cheek. “What happened to your face?”
“Huh? Oh surfing, happens sometimes ya know.”
“Right,” Kiara responds, dryly. He’s obviously lying, but he walks over to greet her parents before she can call him out on it. Kiara informed her parents of the plan Sarah came up with that day, they’d taken it surprisingly well. Mostly just thankful that JJ wasn’t her actual boyfriend. Aunt Charlotte had laughed at the time and asked Anna why they never thought of that as kids. To which Anna responded, “that's because we didn’t have any male friends to take Charlotte.” Kiara isn’t sure if she meant it as dig, but it sure felt like it. Aunt Charlotte had taken her aside after dinner and demanded to know whether Kiara actually had feelings for this “fake boyfriend.” Kiara adamantly denied that she looks at JJ as anything more than a friend and her aunt has said; “well, for christ's sake, Kiara, if you like the boy that much why don’t you just ask him out for real?”
“You ready, girlfriend?” JJ asks, slinging an arm around her and shaking her out of her memory.
Kiara peels his arm off her shoulder, “you are having way too much fun with this.”
“Just trying to save your Christmas, babe.”
“Call me that again JJ, see what happens.”
“Alright, lovebirds, let's get out of here,” Aunt Charlotte says, flashing Kiara a wink as she walks past. Kiara stares daggers at her in return.
The car ride is a lot less awkward than Kiara expected. She takes the middle because she knows JJ doesn't like feeling trapped and aunt Charlotte insists that riding in the middle makes her carsick. Kiara has a sneaking suspicion that she’s just trying to get Kiara and JJ to sit next to each other, which would be extremely juvenile and utterly pointless.
Her mom has a playlist made almost entirely of Micheal Buble and Mariah Carey, which is basic as fuck but Christmas songs are Christmas songs and she and JJ sing along to half of them. Kiara wins the argument with her mother on whether or not to skip Baby It’s Cold Outside and JJ serenades her with I Wanna Hippopotamus For Christmas , in a falsetto that probably isn’t healthy, trying to match the singer in pitch and making a sad attempt at matching her nasally, unique tone. Kiara normally likes to belt this song herself, but this time she was too busy laughing until there were literal tears falling down her face and her midsection was aching.
***
This may be JJ’s first time in an airport, but he has ultimately decided that he hates them. It’s hectic and bland, filled with whites and grays and people waiting. It reminds him too much of a hospital and the closer they get to actually getting on a plane the more JJ wonders why he even agreed to this in the first place.
Because Kiara asked his head responds, and JJ scoffs at himself. Fake dating his best friend, the girl he has been trying and failing to get over since high school, in front of her entire Kook family sounds like an absolute recipe for a disaster. A terrible decision really. But terrible decisions happen to be his forte and he just can’t say no when Kiara asks him for something like that. Fuck, he’d probably jump on a knife for her if she asked – not that she ever would, but if she did, he’d do it. Which probably isn’t the healthiest, but JJ’s also not really sure he knows healthy is. Kiara is about as close to it as he’s ever gotten.
They pass the time by taking multiple selfies using various Snapchat filters and playing almost all of the Snapchat games before their flight is called. It gets harder to keep himself calm as they actually get on the plane. He wasn’t about to admit to Kiara that being trapped in a flying tin can make him nervous as hell, but as they walk through the cramped aisle to their seats it takes all the willpower he has not to turn around and sprint out the door. Kiara offers him the window seat and he can only shake his head. He figures she’s trying to be nice, to give him the view, but being trapped against that wall is the last thing he needs right now.
“Hey,” Kiara says as they take their seats, “it’s gonna be fine,” and offers him a comforting smile.
JJ shakes his head, tugging at the ends of his hair. “Yeah, I’m good.”
She says, “okay,” even though he’s clearly not, fiddles with getting her AirPods out of her carry on and lets him have his space.
He glances around for the exits and see’s that they’re all closed, clenches his fists tightly, and tries to relax, has to close his eyes for a moment because it’s starting to look like the walls are moving closer. He’s tempted to reach for Kiara’s hand, she’s always had a way of grounding him, of quieting his mind and making it just a little easier to breathe. But she’s been kind of weird about the whole fake dating thing and her parents are sitting beside them. So instead, he digs his fingernails deeper into his palms and tries to push the memories out of his mind.
He ends up grabbing her hand anyway when the flight takes off anyway, he doesn’t mean to, it just happens. An instinctive need for reassurance, for her reassurance, and she gives it without question. She squeezes back, rubs her thumb across the back of his hand. It’s such a small, tender gesture and JJ practically melts at the touch. He has to resist the urge to lean down and rest his head on her shoulder, hide his face in her neck, and let the rest of the world fade away. Let the smell of cocoa butter and lavender perfume calm the constant buzzing of his mind. He can’t do that, he knows he can’t, but just thinking about it distracts him from his nerves, calms him. He lets go of her hand, ruffling it through his hair just for something to do. “Uh, sorry.”
Kiara just smiles at him. “It’s okay,” she says warmly, offering him an airpod, “here. You pick.”
***
Kiara almost murders him when JJ forces her to listen to the entirety of Dominick the Donkey but ends up laughing at his terrible Italian accent when he sings along. Has to tell him to be quieter at least five times as they get disapproving looks from various passengers. She takes her revenge by picking Christmas Shoe’s and making them both listen to it through. It’s as much of a punishment for her as it is for him, but she gets some satisfaction when he looks genuinely sad.
“That shits fucking depressing,” he says when it's finally over. “You actually like that song?”
“That’s what you get for making me listen to fucking Dominic the Donkey. ”
A mischievous grin flashes across his face and snags her phone out of her hands.
Kiara groans. “Oh, God, it can’t get worse than that!”
JJ just grins at her, says, “try me,” and presses play.
“What the fuck is this?” she asks, as some guy with a deep southern drawl starts singing about Rudolf.
“Why Kiara you’ve never heard of Leroy the Redneck Reindeer ?” He asks, with a cheeky grin, leaning into her space with one arm leaning on the armrest, his chin resting on his fist. Kiara tries not to think about how cute he looks, how close their faces are, how easy it would be to close the space between them.
Instead, she just scoffs at him. “Since when do you like country music?”
His grin slowly slides off his face and he pulls back, both physically and emotionally. “I don’t really. My mom did though. We, uh, used to listen to this song every Christmas. Haven’t really heard it since, actually.” He reaches back to scratch the back of his neck, his voice has gone quiet and thoughtful, he says the last sentence more to himself than to her.
Kiara’s not sure how to respond, she hates the song, he knew she would, yet still, it feels wrong to tear down what might be one of the few good memories he has of his mom. She settles for saying, “Well, it’s not as bad as Dominic the Donkey .”
He huffs out a laugh and offers her a forced smile. “Yeah.”
They sit in silence for a moment, JJ pulls out his phone and Kiara pulls out hers, scrolling through Instagram until her mind and thumbs feel numb. Finally, she looks up at JJ, whose face is still buried in his phone, the light bruise on his cheek suddenly seeming very visible. The chances of him hitting himself in the face with a surfboard between yesterday and today are slim to none. She can count the number of times she’s seen JJ wipe out on her fingers.
“Hey, JJ?”
He barely looks up from his phone. “Hmm? Yeah, what's up?”
“What actually happened to your face?”
He freezes for half a second before continuing to nonchalantly scroll through his phone like she hadn’t asked him anything important. If Kiara didn’t know him better, she might not even have noticed the moment of hesitation, but she does know him better and it tells her everything she needs to know.
“I already told--” he starts, but Kiara cuts him off quickly.
“Don’t lie to me.”
He finally looks up from his phone and meets her eyes. Sighs in surrender and runs a hand through his hair, mumbles, “Amber stopped by.”
Kiara's stomach drops and as far she’s concerned, he might as well have told her that he ran into his father.
“And you let her in?” Kiara asks, trying desperately to keep her voice even but it just comes out strained.
JJ notices, jumps to the defensive. “Okay, I did not let her in okay? She picked the fucking lock.”
“Jesus, JJ, she broke into your house just to hit you?”
“No, she said a lot of shit first. ”
“And she just up and slapped you across the face?”
“Well, I also said a lot of shit.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t make it okay, JJ! ”
“I didn’t say it was okay, Kiara . You asked me what happened and I told you. I said some shit she wasn’t ready to hear.”
“Yeah, that doesn’t mean she can just hit you!” Kiara hisses, her attempts to remain calm failing miserably.
As he always does when someone brings up Amber’s abusive tendencies, JJ just shrugs her off like it’s not a big deal. Says, “It was a bicth slap, Kiara, I think I can take it,” with a small laugh. “I mean, come on, tell me you’ve never slapped a guy before?” Before Kiara can open her mouth to respond his face lights up with a grin and he adds, “oh! Remember when you smacked John B one back in the crazy Crain Lady’s basement over the whole Sarah thing? Oh, that was so funn-”
“That was different !” Kiara snaps, cutting him off. JJ blinks at her, startled by her outburst, and she earns multiple dirty looks from the other passengers. She bites her lip. Hard. Tries to keep herself calm. She knows it’s not JJs fault that he thinks the way he does, or that there are people like Amber willing to take advantage of it. But that he would compare Kiara to her , to even insinuate that Kiara is anything like her crosses a line that shatters her patience.
She lowers her voice but is still seething as she continues, “I was sixteen and I didn’t leave a fucking bruise! So don’t you fucking compare me to her!”
JJ just stares at her for a moment, a look on his face that she tries and fails to read. Eventually, he sighs and shakes his head. Keeps his head down as he quietly says, “you’re right, m’ sorry,” then pauses for a beat fiddling with his hands before adding, “you’re nothing like her.”
There’s a heavy sadness in his voice that crumbles any anger Kiara had. She can tell that he’s about reached his limit on emotional shit and she knows it would probably be best to just let it go, but she also knows that this won’t stop bothering her if she doesn’t ask.
“Did she do that a lot?” She tries gently, gauging his reaction. “Hit you, I mean.”
JJ squints at her, his lips pulling into a frown, looking at her like he didn’t understand why the question even mattered. He recovers from the confusion quickly, his eyes darken as he smirks at her and leans closer, says, “only when I misbehaved,” in a deep husky voice that should not set her nerves alight.
She wrinkles her nose and shudders, lightly pushing him away. “Ew. Ugh. Not at all what I was talking about.”
“You asked,” he says with a self-satisfied smirk and shrug, but his quick deflection of the question said more than he meant it to. She truly hopes that she never sees Amber Mirrors again, because if she does, she’ll need to be physically restrained from punching that bitch in the face. Then again, maybe she does hope that she’ll see her again.
“You didn’t deserve that, you know. Amber. The way she treated you.” Kiara says it factually like it’s a passing statement and not something that she desperately wishes he’d believe.
JJ just scoffs, brushes her off with, “if I had a dollar for every time I heard that one.”
“I mean it, Jay.” She gently bumps him in the shoulder to lighten the mood before he shuts down on her completely. Reaches up to ruffle his hair as she adds, “you’re a good guy, and someday you’re going to make some lucky girl very happy.”
He grins back at her, reaches an arm around her shoulders, and pulls her against his chest, grinding his knuckles against her head. “Aww, don’t get sappy on me now, Kie.”
Kiara giggles and reaches up to blindly push at his face in a vain attempt to break free. Pulls away when one of her fingers accidentally slips into his mouth.
JJ laughs and lets her go as she wipes his saliva off on his shirt. Says, “I uh- appreciate the sentiment Kie, but I think I’m done with the whole boyfriend thing. I have friends, and I have hookups. Girlfriends are overrated.”
Kiara can’t help the pang of disappointment that flares up in her stomach. The feeling takes her back to the night she broke up with Marianna Ross, she’d called JJ crying because it was late and he was the most likely to be awake. Or, at least, that was why she told herself she called him over anyone else. He drove four hours straight in the dead of night just to be there for her. It hit her like an epiphany that night, he had been there all along, always there for her no matter what he was going through, even when he was pisssed as hell at her. Emotional and a tiny bit tipsy, she had naturally assumed that the feelings would be reciprocated, but when she’d kissed him it only took a few moments before he recoiled as if she'd burnt him. Laughed a little and told her she was drunk. Embarrassed and hurt from being rejected twice in one night, Kiara just buried her head in his shoulder and cried. They never mentioned it, she had resolved to do the responsible thing and be honest the next time she saw him. But she went back for summer break to find him in a relationship he had somehow failed to mention and Kiara felt like she was being rejected all over again. Decided to crush this crush once and for all and just enjoy their friendship for what it is.
Clearly , that hasn’t been going very well.
Kiara lets out a small laugh and turns her head to the window so he can’t see her schooling the emotion off her face. Says bluntly, “everyone swears off of dating after going through a heartbreak JJ. You’re not special.”
He scoffs at her. “Okay, first of all, I’m not heartbroken --”
Kiara rolls her eyes, he’s been an absolute mess since breaking up with Amber, which is actually a step above the mess he was when he was with Amber.
“I’ve tried that whole girlfriend thing and it just doesn’t work for me.”
“You’re twenty-two. You’ve only had two girlfriends.”
“Yeah, and they both sucked.”
“Okay, Marie was a nice girl.”
“Yeah, too damn nice. She was just looking for a big dick and a way to rebel against her parents.”
“And that bothers you?”
He looks at her in mock hurt, dramatically raises a hand to his heart. “I have feelings, Kiara.”
And it’s not that big, she thinks to herself, knowing full well it’s not true.
“I’m sorry Kiara, what was that?”
Kiara turns to him, he’s staring at her with his jaw open and a mix of shock and disbelief on his face.
Holy fuck, she said that out loud. She opens her mouth to respond, but the words die in her throat. Instead, she groans and shrinks down in her seat, hiding her face in her hands.
JJ just laughs, boyish and annoyingly cute. “Now you wanna talk about it? Six years later and you wanna start making dick jokes like it’s no big deal? Damn, and here I was thinking it was a taboo topic. You weren’t complaining about size-”
“Shut UP! It IS a taboo topic! I never said that. It never happened, nothing happened, everything's fine,” Kiara mumbles from behind her hands, praying to the universe that he’ll just drop it.
“Yeah,” he responds, there’s something sad in his tone that makes Kiara peep out between her arms to look at him. He catches her looking and smiles softly. “What never happened?”
Kiara smiles back at him, relieved and excruciatingly grateful that he let it go. “Thank you.”
“What are friends for right?”
Kiara hums in agreement. Apparently, friends are for not talking about that one time they had sex in high school and pretending to be your boyfriend for Christmas. Yup, hella platonic.
“Wanna watch a movie?”
***
About an hour later Kiara lightly jostles JJ awake from where he was asleep on her shoulder. He made it about fifteen minutes into the movie.
“Hmm?” he asks, his voice deep and muddled from sleep, “what’s happening?”
Kiara smirks as he blinks and squints at the light, frowning at her in confusion. She smiles and nods at the window. “Welcome to New York.”