Chapter Text
“Put that down.”
“No.”
“I said, put it down.”
“No!”
Childe groans again, trying his best to peel the blade out of the boy’s hands. But the boy was only pouting at him, looking at the shiny piece as if it was his lifeline.
“Fine,” Childe finally grunts, ignoring the dozens of eyes fixated on his petty argument with a kid among the streets of Liyue. “I’ll get it for you, okay? Just don’t swing it.”
The boy sparkles and nods.
Pulling out his wallet, Childe sifts through a couple of bills before he hands it over to the merchant. With a pitiful look, he even mouths, ‘Sorry about that,’ as he points a thumb at the kid.
The merchant waves at him as he laughs, “No worries, I understand. I've got a kid, too!”
Oh for the love of- “He’s not my kid,” Childe says weakly, though he can see why people would think that.
Childe looks back at the kid now, who is giggling at his new toy. His cerulean eyes are wide, and his bright amber hair is the same - if not brighter - than Childe’s. He even has the same toothy grin Childe recalls having when he was young, and that same impulsive need for blades or anything remotely sharp.
In other words, they were practically clones - except that Childe has never seen this kid before in his life.
The boy giggles at the harbinger again. His very blue eyes look at him with full blown innocence.
“Thank you, daddy!” he exclaims.
Childe sputters. “I am not your daddy!”
It takes an hour before Childe caves in and does what his instinct tells him to do:
He goes to Zhongli’s place.
“Please,” he begs. “Take this kid away from me.”
Although Childe is not the sort to just show up at his enemy’s household - much less his Archon target - desperate times require desperate measures.
Zhongli’s door cracks open just a tad bit.
“Childe,” he says. “What a surprise.”
“The kid,” Childe repeats. “Take it.”
“Kid?” Zhongli looks down and his face stiffens.
Mini Childe gazes at Zhongli in awe. His eyes waver a bit before water starts pooling at its edges.
Childe panics. “Wait, why are you crying? Oh god, don’t cry! Don’t-” Childe unsheathes the sword that he’d bought for the boy, swinging it in front of him as he says, “See this? It’s a sword. A sword!”
The kid is still staring at Zhongli. Still borderline crying.
Zhongli opens his door fully then. He gestures at the inside of his room as he says, “Please, come in.”
When the kid sees Zhongli’s full being, he starts bawling. Childe freaks out and hauls the kid into his arms, bouncing him as he says, “It’s okay, it’s okay. God, why are you crying?” Then, at Zhongli: “Sorry, I don’t know what’s gotten into him. Thank you for letting us in.”
Zhongli’s eyes are still fixated on mini Childe. “It’s my pleasure.”
Childe goes into a living room where the whole place basically screams Zhongli. Bountiful pieces hang from his walls. Numerous shelves circle the room. A single tea table sits in the centre, round and sweet.
Childe settles the kid by the tea table as he quietly murmurs, “Shh, it’s okay, I’m here. And Swordy is here, too, okay?”
Childe waves the sword again. Mini him - still sniffling - takes the sword and hugs it.
“Swordy,” the kid reiterates.
“Swordy,” Childe affirms and wipes the tears away. “God, what am I to do with you?”
The kid keeps sniffling before he huddles up into Childe’s arms. Sighing, Childe hugs the kid tightly, letting the poor boy hide in his arms as he clutches tightly against his collar. When he's sure the kid isn’t going to cry anymore, Childe lets him go.
“Good?” Childe says.
The kid nods. “Mhm.”
Childe smiles and turns to look at Zhongli now. For some reason, the man has a funny look on his face.
Oh.
“Just to be clear,” Childe hurriedly interjects, “I am not this kid’s father.”
Zhongli gives another look that says, Sure you aren’t.
“I’m serious!” Childe exclaims now. Groaning, he adds, “And for your information, I came here for your help.”
“And what sort of help are you looking for?” Zhongli asks, though his eyes are already settling on the kid.
Childe grunts. “I want you to help me find his parents. His actual parents.” He emphasizes the last part because the kid is already opening his mouth, his lips close to forming the word daddy again. “I don’t know what’s going on, but this kid showed up at my doorstep today crying for hell. Then he sees me one time and calls me daddy. I’ve never even had a kid!”
The kid giggles slightly now. Zhongli makes that funny look again.
Childe closes his eyes in pain. “Please, Zhongli. Help a buddy out here. I don’t want to be a dad.”
It takes Zhongli a couple of seconds before he slowly says, “I… am unsure how I can be of use in this situation. I am not well-versed in dealing with children.”
“Well, you can help me find info only, right?” Childe smiles. “How about this? We help each other out taking care of this kid, and we keep doing so until we find his parents. I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want to do this alone.”
The kid brightly laughs this time. “Daddy!”
“Please stop calling me that,” Childe begs. Then, looking at Zhongli, he prods, “Well?”
Zhongli looks at Childe and then at the kid again. He takes a moment of thought before he walks over to the kid, kneeling down.
“What’s your name?” Zhongli asks.
The kid looks at Childe and then at Zhongli. His eyes water again, but whatever strength he was mustering up at the moment managed to stop him from full-on sobbing again. Instead, the boy sticks out his chest and says, “Xi.”
“Xi,” Zhongli reiterates. “That’s a lovely name.”
Xi eyes waver at that. But he doesn’t restrain the tiny smile that appears on his face.
Something flicker’s in Zhongli’s eyes again before he stands up and nods. He turns to Childe. “I will help you with this quest. On one condition.”
Childe slumps from relief. “And what’s that?”
“You will make a contract with me.”
Childe guffaws. “A contract?”
“It is a child we are dealing with here,” Zhongli glances at Xi. “We must be clear on our conditions. Make sure that we know what to do under extenuating circumstances.”
Xi looks at Childe confusingly. “E-extenu- wha?”
Childe opens his mouth to protest, but then he thinks about it again. A thousand and one horrific scenarios flicker through his mind.
“Fine,” Childe quickly agrees. “But we both have to take care of him, okay?”
Zhongli’s lips curve upwards at that. Xi is still looking around confusedly, trying to pronounce ‘extenuating’ only for it to come out as ‘exterminate’.
Childe wants to cry.
“Then it is settled,” Zhongli looks at the kid again, eyes glinting with some kind of anticipation. “We will care for this child.”
“Exterminate!” Xi exclaims again brightly.