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Renjun blinks. Once, twice, rubs his eyes, yawns.
Nope, the notification is still there.
He would ask Chenle to pinch him if the younger were around, because Renjun definitely feels like he's dreaming. And it's a nice dream, although it makes no sense.
Why on earth would his phone show a notification from Facebook telling him to 'confirm his relationship status with Na Jaemin' at — Renjun's eyes move up to the clock — 9am on a Monday morning? Renjun's pretty sure he didn’t get drunk the previous night! He's not stupid enough to drink on a Sunday evening, and if he did, he surely did not drink enough to forget about it. He's pretty sure he'd remember if he and Jaemin talked, especially about a relationship. So what but a dream could explain the notification showing on his lock screen — at now 9:02am?!?
Oh fuck, he's late.
***
Dream or not and to Renjun's misfortune, he is very, very late. Either his subconscious didn't omit his habit, or he's not dreaming — but realistically speaking, there is no way Jaemin would do that.
Or... there is because Jaemin is usual to joking, and he is the reason Renjun still hasn't deleted that blue app. The more Renjun thinks about it, the more his friend (read, crush) appears more capable of making a joke of the sort — the more Renjun thinks of it the more he'd rather this be a dream. The thought of Jaemin asking him out — even if through a social network — did something to his heart. Just as the thought of Jaemin joking about it made his heart sink. Renjun should know better than let Jaemin's flirty nature affect him so much, but what wasn't there to like? Jaemin was a sweet, pretty and funny boy. They hadn't known each other for long, but he was the best lab partner he could ask for. And just like that, he had let himself fall.
But now, back to his dream, because that's all it is, right?
A lucid dream...that's pretty cool, he thinks. Renjun never had a lucid dream, hopefully he'll remember it enough to tell it to Donghyuck.
For now, he has to get to class.
***
Don't ask Renjun why, even when dreaming, his priority was still to get to class somehow. In dream world, he could do whatever he wanted! Yet, something deep in the back of his mind told him it might not have been such a good idea. It's like his dream was painted out to be that way, and Renjun's real responsibilities — as in, the ones from his daily life outside of dreaming — took the best of him, even when asleep. Although, if life in dreams would always be so nice, he wouldn't mind never getting woken up.
He ran fast enough to catch his bus — a first for him — then arriving at school he saw his French teacher leaving, asking him to tell his other classmates they wouldn't have lessons in the afternoon, which meant Renjun had only two classes this morning and they were both some of his favourites. Call this a lucky day, this was a day he had only ever dreamt of! Which is exactly what he is doing.
Please, just never wake him up.
"Renjunnie!"
Oh, he knows that voice, and that's what you call speaking too fast!
He turns around slowly and is met with a beaming Jaemin. Not that Renjun wanted to avoid his friend, but that's exactly what he was trying to do.
"Jaemin, hi!" He forces a smile, nonetheless.
"How's my ray of sunshine doing this morning?”
Renjun cringes, but he can't help his heart beating faster at Jaemin's grin.
He fake gags. “Shut up, will you?
"Bright as always!" Jaemin smiles, putting his arm around his shoulders. “So, ready to get our chemistry quizzes?"
Oh fuck, Renjun completely forgot that Mrs. Park would be giving those back. Jaemin seems to catch the worry on Renjun's face because he squeezes his shoulder lightly before they both start walking towards their class. "Don't worry, Renjun. I'm sure you did well!"
Renjun sure hopes so.
***
One of the reasons chemistry was Renjun's favourite class is because he was with Jaemin. This morning something, maybe related to the notification still unopened on his phone screen, made him feel like it might be less fun than usual.
All seems to start well, even better than that, because Mrs. Park hands them their quizzes immediately after greeting them and poor Renjun actually aced it. He writes a mind-note to tell Donghyuck to go fuck himself when he wakes up — if this part of his dream has a message, it’s definitely that chemistry isn't about gut feelings and Donghyuck needs to hear a few words about that.
He's happy, the second semester is barely starting and he hasn't had such a good school day since he was ten! Jaemin surely notices because when Renjun turns around — he felt eyes glued to his face — the dark haired boy is indeed staring, but also smiling.
"Pretty and giddy this morning, aren't we?"
"Are you saying I’m not always pretty? Wow, thanks Jaem,” Renjun answers, faking disappointment. He bites back a chuckle when Jaemin's grin falls off his face as he stutters to correct himself.
"Of course you’re always pretty, Renjun."
"Then do I not look happy every day?"
Renjun is starting to enjoy this. If he knew an embarrassed Jaemin would be so fun to witness, he'd tease him more often. Although, on a normal day, Renjun doesn't always have the strength or confidence to answer Jaemin's remarks. He just takes them in and blushes, faking annoyance while his mind goes crazy.
Maybe he was wrong, this chemistry lesson has been even better than any he had this year. His subconscious really knows how to do things. Talking about subconscious, he is particularly impressed at how real everything feels. He should do some research on lucid dreams when he wakes up. It's all so realistic it's almost scary: the way his pencils feel between his fingers, his clothes on his body, the wooden chairs under his ass — no unfamiliar sensations, which he knows well enough to be perfectly reproduced in his dream, he thinks— but still, isn't that weird?
Renjun can't really process how weird it is that he can feel how Jaemin's fingers brush on his cheek because — Holy shit, Jaemin is touching his cheek?!?
Renjun literally jumps out of his chair. With a loud thump and a groan he's sitting on the floor, away from Jaemin's hand who's frozen in place. Ouch, now that's another sensation he shouldn't be feeling so well.
"Renjun, is everything alright?" Mrs Park asks.
He stands up quickly, patting down his clothes before he takes place next to Jaemin.
"Yes, I'm sorry." He stares down at his hands, cheeks flushed red. Talking about the best day in his academic life — it might've just become the most embarrassing. He tries to ignore the warmth spreading on his cheeks as he still feels some eyes on him, maybe by focusing on his fingers or whatever Mrs. Park is talking about, but it's easier said than done with a wide eyed Na Jaemin on your left.
"I'm sorry, Jun. You had something on your cheek,” he whispers.
Renjun coughs slightly, trying to hide the fact that he just choked on air. All that for a thing on his cheek? Wow, Renjun.
"It's okay, you just caught me off guard,” he says, clearing his throat.
Jaemin sighs. "You're so cute, Renjunnie."
Renjun starts coughing again, he asks to be excused to the bathroom between loud gasps for air, he choked on his own saliva, this time.
He takes it back — someone wake him up, now.
***
Class is over in five minutes, there is clearly no point in heading back, and after all he's in a dream. Nothing he does will have repercussions on his real life whatsoever. He splashes cold water on his face. He feels it, he feels it so...realistically. It's insane, what the human brain can do, all its secrets...Renjun is mesmerised.
But he's also scared, what if he has no way to wake up from his dream on command? What if he ends up getting killed? Will he have to feel the pain before waking up? He groans. God, this is much more complicated than he thought. He blames it on himself for not paying attention when Donghyuck and Mark had insisted he watch Inception with them. Maybe now he would have some idea about what to do, but all he can remember is that the movie was about dream manipulation, or something like that. He surely needs to find a way to get woken up if anything similar happens again, if Jaemin asks anything.
"Renjun? Are you in here?" Speak of the devil!
He glances at the bathroom mirror one last time, checking his face. He inhales, pats his own back.
"Let's go Renjun. You got this," he tells himself.
Jaemin is waiting for him outside the bathroom leaning on the wall, Renjun's bag in one hand, his phone in the other. On a normal day, Renjun would still the sight in his mind and think about it at every given moment for the rest of the week because — Wow, he looks good. Today, however is not a normal day and this is not a normal situation because Jaemin is standing pretty in his dreams and that's honestly quite usual, only difference this time is that Renjun is fully conscious of how dreamy he looks. Jaemin's eyebrows scrunch up as he stares at the screen.
"Thank you, Jaem. I'm all good now. I have lunch with Hyuck, see ya!"
He grabs his bag from Jaemin's hand and turns away while putting it on his shoulder.
That's Renjun's plan: avoiding Jaemin. Jaemin however, is not on the same wavelength. At all.
"Why didn't you confirm my relationship status request, Junnie?"
Renjun freezes in place, hesitates, but starts turning around slowly. Jaemin is pouting! Great, now there's no way out of this for Renjun.
"Your what..?"
"The relationship status confirmation? You know, for me to put you as my boyfriend on my Facebook status you need to confirm it first!"
His what?!
The only sound that comes out of Renjun's mouth is a loud, surprised "Huh?!" The thing is, Jaemin is looking back at him just as surprised, as if it was the most natural thing to do for him to confirm a relationship status so that Na Jaemin could go around with a Facebook account showing he was dating Huang Renjun. Jaemin’s face seems to scream "Duh! Renjun, could there be any other reason?" Renjun has no clue what his face is showing but he is, once again, very convinced this is one hell of a dream.
"You're not joking?" Renjun asks.
"Junnie, who do you take me for! Of course I'm not! I'm very serious." Jaemin's — indeed — serious look does not match well with what he's saying.
Renjun feels like he missed an episode to whatever tv show this could be.
"Why would I...we're not boyfriends, Jaemin?"
"Renjunnie you're hurting me!" Jaemin exclaims dramatically, pushing himself off the wall. He walks closer to Renjun, too close for his liking (or more, for his comfort: his mind is now completely blank, breath cut short.)
"I'm so-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to... but...still.."
He gulps, maybe shutting up is a better option with Jaemin so close to his face. Blabbering is not pretty, Renjun, he thinks.
"I like you, Renjun. I thought I made that obvious."
Renjun chokes. For fuck's sake, it's the third time today.
Jaemin's frowning again, "Junnie are you okay?"
Renjun is obviously not. He puts a hand on Jaemin's shoulder, patting his own chest in an attempt of calming his cough.
"Are you sick, Junnie? Is that why you've been coughing so much? I should bring you home."
"No!" Renjun gasps. He clears his throat and holds himself up. "I'm good." His voice is weak from all the coughing and Jaemin almost finds it endearing. "You just made me choke, again."
Jaemin laughs. "I did what?"
Renjun rolls his eyes and nudges his shoulder as the boy keeps on laughing loudly. "Just don't joke like that unannounced."
"Oh, but Junnie! I'm not joking,” Jaemin says, finally calming down. There's a weird tone in his voice. Renjun would say it sounds like mischievousness. The black haired boy steps closer to Renjun and now he feels like his lungs have been pumped completely empty.
This is it, this is the most Renjun can take, his cheeks already red as he looks up to Jaemin's perfect face. Someone wake him up, quick!
"Jaemin, before you say anything else, can you please punch me in the face?"
Saying Jaemin looks surprised is an understatement. "And why would I do that? I don't want to ruin that pretty face of yours."
"Don’t ask. Just do it, I need to see something."
"I didn't know you were into that,” he says with a playful smirk on his lips. Renjun would like to keep this dream PG, although it wouldn't be the first time things escalated, while facing Jaemin, when his subconscious was in control.
"But not right now. Maybe another time! We have bigger matters on our hands!" Jaemin says, cutting Renjun's thoughts short.
He groans, "That would be...?"
"The fact that you haven't confirmed our relationship status on Facebook! C'mon Jun, keep up."
"Jaemin there is nothing to confirm...we are not dating." I wish we were, Renjun thinks. "You’re not my boyfriend." I wish you were, he thinks again. "You shouldn't joke w-"
Oh shit.
Jaemin is kissing him.
As in, Na Jaemin is kissing him, Huang Renjun.
God, his subconscious couldn't wait a little longer?
Renjun doesn't think too long, because the way Jaemin's lips feel against his own feels so good. Better than all the previous times this had happened in his dreams. It feels way too good, and real. Renjun doubts his subconscious should know how Jaemin's lips taste, but at this point there's no other explanation anyway: this has to be a dream.
Renjun's not sure if he wants to be woken up or not, right now.
The kiss doesn't last long and when Jaemin steps back, everything seems as dreamy as it ever was. Maybe Renjun has been bewitched.
"As I already told you, I am not joking. I like you. I seriously do, and I'm sorry if I read this wrong...I really thought you liked me too." Jaemin is pouting, goodness gracious does that boy ever take a break from tugging on Renjun's heart?
"I'm not sorry for the kiss though, I hope that could change your mind!" He winks. “On a more serious note, if it can get you to become my official boyfriend, I'll take you on a date. Today. I'll come pick you up at 5pm, okay? Be ready!" Jaemin blows him a kiss and walks away.
Renjun's left speechless, standing with a bursting heart in the hall, unable to process anything that Jaemin just blurted out.
He's also late for lunch, again.
***
When Renjun arrives at the cafeteria, Donghyuck, his best friend, is already sitting at a table. The first thing he does when Renjun sits down is to, of course, start whining about how he's late again. Renjun doesn't really mind, he knows he is — he rarely isn't. Actually, right now, he doesn't even listen to his best friend's complaints, he's still trying to process what happened barely five minutes ago. He stares in the void, mouth slightly agape and thinks: What the fuck?
Why did today have to be the day he has a lucid dream about such a thing? He knows well enough he has a crush on his friend, it's not very nice for his subconscious to play with his heart like this. His poor little heart, Renjun feels like it's about to burst. Although confused, he is also extremely happy, so happy he could scream.
"Renjun are you listening to m-? Oh my, are you okay?" Donghyuck puts a stop to his monologue when he turns around to see his best friend pale and absolutely petrified. "You look like you've just seen a ghost." The younger stretches out his arm and pokes Renjun's cheek. The elder barely moves.
"Hyuck.." he starts, eyes staring into space, "I think I got kissed and asked out on a date by Jaemin."
Donghyuck doesn't reply.
Silence — this is the part where you hear crickets in movies.
After a short eternity, Donghyuck explodes, quite literally, into laughter. So loud that people all around them start staring at their table, the thing sounding obviously hilarious to Renjun's best friend.
It seems like in his dreams everyone has quite a problem with breathing — maybe that has some sort of symbolism he should inform himself about — because Renjun is now looking at Donghyuck gasping for air as he laughs and wipes a few tears from the corner of his eyes. What's so funny anyways?
"Hyuck?" Renjun tries, face and eyebrows furrowed.
"Sorry, sorry." He hiccups between giggles, breathing through his nose in hopes of calming down — it takes a few tries, but he manages. "Are you sure? Like...you're not dreaming or something?"
"Actually, I am- but that's not the point!" Renjun shakes his head, "He literally sent me a request on Facebook, Hyuck."
He giggles again, "Show me or it didn't happen!"
Renjun rolls his eyes but still takes his phone out of his pocket and hands it to an exhilarated Donghyuck.
"Oh my god, this is the best day of my life!" He exclaims, laughing. "Jun...he's totally messing with you though. Are you really, really sure you didn't dream the kiss? I mean, this seems like a typical Na joke to me."
Renjun sighs, "Yeah, I was actually thinking the same thing." He ends up mumbling something to himself about how he wishes he could just wake up.
"When did he say he was coming to pick you up?"
"5pm.” Renjun answers.
Donghyuck brings a hand on his head, scratching it a little. He hands Renjun's phone back to him and leans back on his chair.
"Yeah, he's totally not showing up," he says before cackling again.
Renjun shoves his phone in his pocket rather aggressively. "I can't believe you're this annoying even in my dreams. I deserve a break sometimes.” He adds, irritated.
"Renjun did you hit your head?"
"What?"
"What did Jaemin do to you?” He hurries over next to Renjun, shaking him. "Did he melt your brain? I mean, not that it was in great condition before anyways, but st-" Renjun slaps the back of Donghyuck's head. "Ouch!"
"I'm perfectly fine, Lee. And yeah, I do think Jaemin's messing with me! But you know what, this is a dream! My dream! He can't stand me up, I'm sure I wished for a date so long that my subconscious will obviously make it happen in my dream...Yeah, that's right!" Renjun stands up suddenly with a smile on his face. "I'm gonna go home and get ready. I don't have classes this afternoon, so that's perfect! Enjoy your lunch, Donghyuck. See the real you when I wake up!" He walks away, waving at his best friend, who’s left crouching next to the chair Renjun was previously sitting on and is weirded out, to say the least.
"He definitely hit his head," he finally says, shaking his head.
***
Renjun decides he'll take the risk, as he said to Donghyuck earlier: this is his dream after all, something he truly wants has to happen, at least once.
So he showers and wears the pretty jeans Mark had bought for him that one time he went to France, and he wears his favourite sweater that he recalls Jaemin complimenting.
Ah, Jaemin. Renjun really likes him, even if he would hardly admit just how much he does. Maybe he would if his life depended on it but it's not the case, right? He had a tough time spitting it out to his best friend, even after Donghyuck insisted for weeks, and he's usually pretty convincing. (It did get to a life or death situation then, Donghyuck can be terribly scary when he wants to.)
It's just that Renjun isn't really good with feelings. Yes, he's scared, but he also simply doesn't understand them. Jaemin's been flirty with him all along, but that's just how Jaemin is! He's blunt and energetic and he has a heartthrob's smile. That's how he is with everyone (even if Renjun does think he might be a teensy little bit more like that with him than with others). So even if he liked the attention, the compliments and even the cheesy pick up lines Jaemin would say here and there, he'd still react blandly, brush it off and roll his eyes. Because Renjun couldn't be that more special now, could he?
He blushes just the same way that girl from his biology class does at Jaemin's remarks, he's sure he even caught Donghyuck blushing once. Because that's how Jaemin is, and Renjun isn't that more special compared to other people. But it feels nice, to wish to be, to dream to be a little more special to Jaemin. Let a boy dream! Right?
Even with that, he's not really sure he likes this lucid dream thing anymore. He wishes he could find a way to wake up.
And when the door bell rings, and Jaemin is standing there, pretty as always, with his shiny smile, he wishes he could wake up.
Because as he heads to that date conscious, he's also conscious it's nothing but a dream. It'll be just another disappointment when he wakes up the next morning.
When he's holding Jaemin’s hand as they walk around town and his heart is beating like crazy, when Jaemin stops by to buy a flower for him and when he calls him pretty, he thinks: if he's dreaming, someone please just wake him up.
***
The light pierces through Renjun's open window, however that is not what wakes him up. Chenle is screaming his name, knocking at his door. Renjun stretches, turns in bed with a grunt and yawns. The time, according to the clock on his side table, is 8:30am. It's pretty early considering he doesn't have morning classes on Tuesday. Why would Chenle wake him so early?
As he decides wether to ignore his roommates screams and go back to sleep or not, he gets reminded of the dream of that previous night. He remembers every detail to it vividly, except what happened after the date with Jaemin, the last bit after he called Renjun pretty is blurred in his memory. Renjun should feel his heart sink, or some sort of sadness after such a lovely dream, but he doesn't. He feels quite happy, actually.
"Renjun can you please wake up?!" The banging at his door gets louder.
Ugh.
"I'm up! I'm up! Stop screaming Chenle!"
He jumps out of bed, almost trips with his leg stuck in one of his bed sheets. Renjun's quite clumsy, especially in the morning. He runs a hand through his hair and opens the door. At least Chenle had the decency to stay out of his room this time.
"What is it, Lele?" He asks with a groggy voice and a little point of annoyance in it.
"Oh finally! Jaemin is at the door. He says he needs to talk to you,” Chenle says, wiggling his eye brows suggestively.
Huh? What would Jaemin be doing at his door, and especially at this time of the day?
Curiosity getting the best of him, he walks through the kitchen, ignoring the flower in the vase on the table, and ignoring the fact that he's in his pyjamas and has messy hair. He regrets it when he sees Jaemin actually standing at his doorstep, looking absolutely stunning.
Jaemin smiles. "Good morning, boyfriend!"
"Yeah, yeah, good morning, Jaem. What do you...Wait." Renjun stills and looks up at him. Jaemin just called him boyfriend, didn’t he? What the fuck, is Renjun still dreaming?
Jaemin giggles and gives a light peck on his cheek. "Even though you're very cute, you still didn't confirm my relationship status request!"
That's when it hits Renjun. Waking up late on Monday, reading the notification from Facebook, his day at school and Jaemin calling him pretty and properly confessing to him, asking him to be his boyfriend and Renjun accepting — the last bits from the date with Jaemin he had dreamt of and forgot.
His dream that maybe after all, wasn't a dream at all.
Renjun feels quite embarrassed. He’ll have to explain to Donghyuck that he lived an entire day thinking he was dreaming. He can already hear Donghyuck laughing at him, Renjun's not going to hear the end of it. Maybe he should omit that detail to Jaemin as well, or keep it as a story to tell in the future...it would definitely make a nice wedding speech. Because damn, his month long crush actually likes him back and no, Renjun did not dream it!
His heart is soaring.
"You came all the way just for that?" Renjun tries to hide the excitement, attempting to hide it with annoyance, but he's just too happy for that right now, his smile gives him away.
"Of course! We could become very famous as the couple who got together because of Facebook! Or something like that, if it hasn't been done before." Renjun looks at Jaem- his boyfriend, ramble with a fond gaze. He really can't believe this right now. He leans closer to kiss his cheek, shutting Jaemin up. A Jaemin who is very much real, and not some hallucination.
"You really couldn't ask me out in a normal way?" He asks, when he steps back and his hand is interlaced with Jaemin's.
Jaemin looks back at him, mirroring his smile. "Where's the fun in that, Renjunnie?"