Chapter Text
Severus Snape found Remus Lupin to be an infuriating man.
After graduating from Hogwarts, he found a tiny scrap of joy amongst the shadows of the incoming war in the fact that he would never have to set eyes on the wolf and his poor excuses for friends again. Fate had been kind, he thought, when Sirius Black was left to rot in Azkaban. James Potter and Peter Pettigrew were dead, and Remus Lupin was missing in action. Severus didn’t necessarily relish in the fact, however, it was definitely the easiest part of the war to accept.
Fate, however, had not been so kind to Severus when she landed the wolf with the job of Professor of Defence Against The Dark Arts.
Severus felt his blood run cold when he set eyes on Lupin’s tan-coloured robes and sandy hair for the first time in over twelve years. He avoided him throughout the pre-term staff meetings and clenched his jaw as Lupin settled into the seat beside him during the Welcoming Feast. Severus could feel the wolf sneaking glances at him out of the corner of his eye throughout the night. The air stagnated between them and Severus left as soon as he could.
Albus had already approached him before the start of the term to ask him to brew a monthly Wolfsbane potion. He couldn’t exactly decline in his position, but that meant that he truly couldn’t avoid Lupin all year until the next DADA teacher came along. Just nine long months, if Severus prayed hard enough, it could be less time than that.
In the week leading up to the start of the term, Severus had spent most of his time restocking the potions Poppy Pomfrey required in the hospital wing. However, with the new, surprise task of brewing a Wolfsbane potion in time for the third day of term, Severus slipped behind schedule and was still making pepper-up potions well into the first week. He finished his second batch of this particular potion on the fifth day of the term. After a quick word with Poppy, Severus dropped off the fresh batch of potions and exited the hospital wing. He had finally caught up with the potions demand; there should be enough to last through the first term.
Severus turned the corner to continue down towards his quarters for the night, but instead, he narrowly avoided knocking over a taller, broader man. He instinctively bracketed Severus’ arms with his own to soften the collision and chuckled to himself. He dropped his arms, shoving his hands into the pockets over his oversized, umber coat.
“Severus, I’m glad I bumped into you,” Remus smiled, “I was looking for you. We should talk.” Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he brushed past the older man to continue on his way. He had no interest in having a friendly discussion with the wolf. Remus followed him, half a step behind him as though he was anticipating Severus to shove him away.
When it was clear Remus wasn’t going to relent, Severus spoke, “About what, Lupin?”
He stopped walking, Remus crowded his back before he stepped around Severus to look him in the eye. As much as it broiled his insides, Severus silently admitted that Remus had grown attractive in time. He was charming and handsome in a scrappy way and Severus loathed it. Remus had aged like fine wine. Severus averted his gaze to the paintings lining the corridor, the collar of his robes had grown hot.
“You can’t even look me in the eye, I thought that maybe if we-,”
“If we what?” Severus asked. Remus pinched the bridge of his nose then looked down at Severus.
“I’m not saying we become friends, we don’t have to hold hands or anything, Severus. But we could at least be civil to each other,” Remus sighed.
“I’m being civil, aren’t I? What else should I be doing?” Severus asked.
“You’re avoiding me, I thought we could put the past behind us. We should at least be able to talk to each other if you’re going to be brewing those potions for me all year,” Remus said. Severus frowned. As he was about to respond, he felt something snake tightly around the back of his kneecaps.
“What-”
He looked down. A glowing, brassy cord wound itself around his and Lupin’s legs. Starting around the knees, it worked its way up around their thighs, before its user pulled it taunt and forced Severus to knock into Remus. He ignored the way Remus was pulled flush against him, unable to move. Severus tried to look around to see who was trying to restrain them, but the corridor was nearly deserted save from some seventh year Ravenclaws near the other end.
“Snivelling Snape and Looney Lunar Lupin! A caustic reunion!” Severus’ shoulders slumped when he recognised Peeves’ booming, brazen voice from above them. “With a little help from me, you’ll be closer than ever.”
Severus shivered as Peeves sank to their level and released a strong gust of wind on them. They swayed on the spot, but Remus’ terrible balance sent them crashing to the floor. Thanks to Remus’ quick thinking, Severus was saved from a painful head injury. As they fell, Remus wrapped his arms around Severus’ head and pulled his face into the crook of his neck. His forearms caught the brunt of the fall, and the painful groan he let out told Severus that he was likely going to go looking for some bruise salve after this.
Remus pulled his arms out from underneath Severus’ head, but the pair couldn’t move beyond that. Remus tried to keep most of his weight off of Severus, but after a minute he collapsed on top of him.
“Peeves, cut it out!” Severus shouted up at the poltergeist to no avail. Peeves warbled a horrid tune about the two Professors and how they’re closer than ever. He disappeared through the roof, leaving the Professors helpless. Severus tried to rotate them onto their side so he could concentrate, but Remus had trapped Severus’ arms at his sides when they fell. Remus’ weight didn’t budge; Severus experimentally raised his hips to see if he could push them apart, but he quickly discovered that it was a bad idea to press their groins any further together than they already were.
“Can you move your legs at all?” Remus asked him, pointedly ignored Severus’ writhing figure. Severus tested his legs, but he already knew the answer. Remus’ heartbeat against Severus' chest and his breathing on his neck was starting to annoy him.
“No,” Severus grunted. “This is your fault, Lupin. If you weren’t so adamant about speaking to me, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“My fault? Severus-”
“I don’t want to hear your weak rebuttal. Can you reach your wand?” Severus asked. Remus shifted, bearing even more weight onto Severus as he reached into the pocket of his robes to retrieve his wand. He could hear chatter from some of the older students, all of them were laughing but none offered to help. Severus would give anything for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.
Remus tried a simple jinx to detangle the cord from around their legs, but it rebounded and fizzled. Remus stuffed his wand back in his robes, Severus was hyper-aware of every small movement.
“This is useless, we’re going to have to try to get out without magic,” Remus said.
“Are you serious? You barely tried,” Severus scoffed. Remus had already begun trying to wriggle upwards out of the cords. Either he was too naive to notice or polite enough to ignore the position he was putting them both into. “Stop.”
“Why? It’s better than doing nothing and you clearly don’t have any better ideas. Silence suits you,” Remus said, his lips pulled down into a frown in a rare moment of scathing anger. Severus was momentarily stunned by Remus’ outburst, but he wasn’t going to prove him right.
“Oh, bite me, Lupin,” Severus snarled, fists clenched at his sides. He needed to think of a solution, quickly.
“Just tell me where,” Remus said, voice getting dangerously low. He was just as stubborn as Severus - a fault on both of their behalfs.
“Excuse me, gentlemen.” The usual sweet-sounding voice of Poppy Pomfrey was twisted in disbelief. Severus was more relieved to see her face than he was embarrassed. She could help them out of this mess and Severus could finally disappear for the night. Hopefully, he could go back to avoiding Remus altogether.
Then he remembered the situation they were in; Remus pinning Severus to the floor by his hips, their legs bound together and Remus trapping Severus’ arms with his own. Not to mention the thinly veiled threat of biting the older professor that was loud enough for all the occupants of the corridor to hear. Had they been in closed quarters, the situation would be downright obscene.
“It’s not what it looks like,” Remus gasped, vocalising what Severus hoped was obvious. By the evident look of relief on Poppy’s face, this was not obvious enough.