Chapter Text
Giyuu observed the papers in front of him. The material was a bit old, he found it some time ago when he was cleaning the water estate, back then he didn't know what to do with them but he also didn't want to throw it away, his crow was too old to send letters and he didn't want to exert the poor little guy- also is not like he had someone to write to except for Urokodaki or Tanjiro.
So he decided to use them to practice his calligraphy, every now and then, when he had time to kill. He would mindlessly write words, and eventually, those words became full sentences. One day, he had a pretty mean argument with Sanemi -could he even call it a fight if he just stood there and let the other man scream his lungs out?- and, it's not like he hated Sanemi, but he was also full of mean words after that encounter, except that he didn't have the energy to tell them to his face at that moment.
So when he finally came back home, still with the bitter taste of being called every single insult in the book, Giyuu grabbed the bottle of ink, his brush, and papers and sat down to write every thought he had towards Sanemi. Once he finished he let out a tired sigh and looked at his work, he felt surprisingly better after doing so.
It became a habit: every time he wanted to tell someone the full details of his feelings, he would sit down and write them in a letter. But not all of them were to vent out frustrations, he also wrote praises towards Tanjiro and Nezuko, feeling proud of how much they have grown, or even Oyakata-sama and Urokodaki, telling them how grateful he was for them.
Or like the love confession letter he just wrote, dedicated to the flame pillar, Kyoujuro Rengoku.
It's not often they get paired up for a mission -he even wondered if their leader did it on purpose, but he knows Oyakata-sama isn't that intuitive… is he?- but he would be lying if he said he wasn't happy when they did. He got to observe every little detail of the younger man, the way he fought, his bright smile, the warm aura he emanated, it's no wonder that he ended up falling for him the moment they met.
Kyoujuro, just like the sun, is impossible to reach, so Giyuu just silently enjoys their moments together, and that's enough for him.
But sometimes, just sometimes, he wishes he could tell Kyoujuro what he feels for him.
That's why when he arrived home that afternoon, he wrote one of the cheesiest letters he ever wrote. It wasn't the first time he wrote a love letter to Kyoujuro, but it was the first time his heart ached so badly he needed to let it all out at that moment.
He reads it once, then twice, to make sure everything is in order. He folds it gently before standing up, wanting to stash it with the other unsent letters he has, when he hears a loud slam against his wall and a scream of a crow.
"Kanzaburo?" He goes to look through the window, and next to it he sees the old crow, trying to stand up after hitting the building.
The crow squawks after hearing his name, and with a weak flapping of wings, he manages to sit on the windowsill.
"A demon is disturbing a town south from here! You gotta hurry!" Announces the bird.
"Oh, sure, just-" Giyuu moves to leave the letter in its place when Kanzaburo lands on his head and starts pecking him.
"No! Now! It's important!"
Giyuu knows that his old crow takes a lot of time to change his mind, and if he said it is important then, well, it's important! He opens his shirt and tucks the letter under the hem of his pants, making sure it won't get lost. He grabs his sword, puts on his haori, and leaps out of his house. He has to make it to the town before sundown.
The sun’s giving signals of finally going to sleep. With a quick step, Giyuu does his best to track down the demon with the information he was given from both his crow and the townspeople, but that’s no simple task. Time is passing quickly and the demon’s going to appear any second now and he didn’t know where.
“I’m telling you, I can smell them from here!” A familiar voice sounds around the corner.
Giyuu’s eyes widen in recognition, so he follows the voice, that's quickly joined with another two.
He appears behind Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu. The latter screams from the top of his lungs.
Giyuu winces. “So loud…”
“Ah! Is mismatched haori guy!” Inosuke announces.
“Tomioka-san!” Tanjiro greets the pillar with a wide smile. “I didn’t know you were here!”
“I arrived some time ago,” He explains. “What are you guys doing here?”
“We were just passing by.” Zenitsu finally looks like he calmed down. Giyuu makes a mental note of not appearing like that in front of him again. “But Tanjiro felt the smell of a demon nearby, so we’re investigating.”
“Hmm, I see.”
“But what are you doing here, Tomioka-san?” Tanjiro asks.
“I’ve been assigned a mission here.” He looks up to the sky, the sun’s finally setting, he could see the moon more clearly. “I’m gonna assume it's the same demon.” Giyuu looks at the group in front of him and wonders for a moment if he should let them hang around. Their power is still considered weak if they were to compare it to the pillars, but he knows they’ve grown a lot. They’re not those wimpy little kids he met a long time ago.
But before he could make his decision, something in the air changes drastically.
They look around, Zenitsu obviously tensing and getting paler each second that passed while Inosuke was breathing heavily through his mask with obvious excitement.
The sound of a bell fills the air and when Giyuu raises his gaze, there’s a small looking woman on the roof of a nearby house, her face hidden by a mask with sharp teeth.
"Ah! A pillar!" She says excitedly. "How nice! If I kill you, I'll rank up to an upper moon!" Long metallic claws come from down the sleeves of her clothes.
She’s awfully confident to just appear like that, Giyuu thinks, but considering she had the guts to do it knowing there is a pillar there and the intense bloodlust emanating from her little body, she probably is a lower moon.
He gives a quick glance towards the teens behind him, both Tanjiro and Inosuke already had their nichirin blades out, Zenitsu looks even paler than before. Well, it was too late to tell them to leave.
He leaps forward the second the demon decides to make her move.
"Congratulations on not passing out during most of the fight, Zenitsu!" Tanjiro beams proudly.
"Shut up! There's no sarcasm in your voice, stop being so genuine about me not passing out mid-fight." Zenitsu trembles as Giyuu finishes checking his wounds, the pillar decides they aren't as lethal as he thought.
"But I am proud!" There’s no way he could make this little ball of sunshine stop. The corner of Giyuu's lip twitches up on a little smile, almost imperceptible.
The demon was indeed one of the lower moons, the sixth lower moon to be exact. Giyuu thought she would be more difficult to deal with, but she didn't deal any fatal blows to them, just some long cuts here and there, most of their clothes being damaged in the fight. Giyuu makes a mental note to patch up his haori when he goes back home.
The fight that started in the town moved quickly to the forest, which was a good thing, it gave an advantage to the slayers, being free to fight without the risk of a civilian passing by.
Inosuke howls a burst of laughter as he decides to torment Zenitsu. Giyuu just watches the scene unfold as he dusts off his clothes. "You should get those wounds checked by a professional, I think there's a wisteria house in the other town nearby, but just in case, you should get Kocho to examine them, too."
"Will do!" Tanjiro says as he tries to get Inosuke away from Zenitsu. "What about you, Tomioka-san?"
"I'll be fine." He gives a nod. "I need to do something first."
"Ah! Alright then, see you later!"
Tanjiro manages to free a hand to wave goodbye, Giyuu gives him a nod in acknowledgment and leaves the scene in the blink of an eye.
The moon was high in the sky by the time he found himself on the path that led to the water estate, his stomach growling and his tired bones aching. He really needs to rest, even for a little bit.
He scratches his stomach as he yawns, wondering if he has the ingredients to make salmon daikon when- there's a hole.
His hand went through a long hole in his shirt, how come he hadn't noticed it?
Giyuu palms around the zone, not feeling the letter that was supposed to be there. He checks his shirt, the inside of his pants- it was nowhere to be found. Giyuu can feel himself sweat the more he thinks about the location of his letter.
He turns around and starts running back to where he came from.
He ends up arriving at the town faster than he did that afternoon, he's checking around every corner he passed by, casually scaring a couple of people that are still up at that hour. He follows his steps, if it's not in town, then it must be in the forest!
He is thankful that the full moon is illuminating the place, but it's not enough, as he looks around and underneath every rock, following the path of slashes the demon left in its way when they fought.
Then, he notices something on the floor, it's almost imperceptible, he crouches to lift it up, it's a little piece of paper. He sighs, feeling relieved but a tad bummed out, the letter got destroyed in the fight. Giyuu tries looking around for more pieces of paper, but when he can’t find any, he assumes the wind took them away.
It’s a little bit ironic that the letter he put so much thought into was destroyed so easily. Should he take this as a sign that his feelings will never reach Kyoujuro? He's not one to think about destiny and all those things, so he prefers to ignore it.
Giyuu goes back home, hoping to finally get a full night's rest.
Zenitsu turns the folded paper around with his hands. "Should we read it?" He asks his companions as they share dinner in the Wisteria house.
"No! We should respect Tomioka-san's privacy!" Tanjiro exclaims as he shares some of his tempura with Inosuke. "It must be pretty important if he was going to deliver it himself!"
"Hmmm, you're right..." Zenitsu agrees and leaves the paper next to him. "Why are you so sure he was going to personally give the letter to aniki?"
"Because he was carrying it himself instead of sending his crow!" Tanjiro explains.
"Wouldn't it be easier to just, I dunno, tell him personally instead of delivering a letter?" Zenitsu raises an eyebrow, he munches a bit of his food before speaking again. "It seems like a lot of unnecessary work."
"Maybe it's official secret information?" Tanjiro tilts his head. "They might not be able to talk about it out loud."
"Maybe they know the secrets to become a giant fire-spitting boar!" Inosuke yells excitedly, and before he could snatch the letter to see if he’s right Zenitsu grabs it and puts it somewhere else.
"You're the only one who thinks that's possible! How did you even reach that conclusion, ya dummy?!" Zenitsu looks absolutely offended by Inosuke's suggestion.
"HUH?! WHO'RE YA CALLING A DUMMY?!" Inosuke yells louder.
"Now, now, let's not fight. Inosuke, finish your food before it gets cold, I know you don't like it when it gets like that." Tanjiro receives a glare from his companion, he grumbles something before sitting and grabbing the food with his hands. "And don't go calling Inosuke dummy, Zenitsu, it's not nice." He scolds.
Zenitsu winces a little. I'm older than him, but why do I feel like I'm being scolded by an older brother? He thinks. "Okay… but, what are we supposed to do with the letter? Should we return it?"
"Hmmm… I don't know." Tanjiro shakes his head. "Even if we could, we don't know where he is right now, and we also don't know the location of the water estate. I tried sending letters there before but I think they got lost because I never received a response from Tomioka-san."
"Hmm, I see."
"Maybe we should deliver it ourselves!" Inosuke says with his mouth full of food. "We're bound to find Weird googly eyes more quickly because we're his tsuguko! So we won't lose time trying to find Mismatched haori guy."
"Oh! That's actually a good idea!" Tanjiro says.
"Huh, I have to agree there." Zenitsu raises an eyebrow. "You can have good ideas every now and then."
Inosuke chuckles proudly. "Of course I have good ideas! I'm the great Inosuke-sama after all!"
They return to eat their food while sharing other anecdotes.
Giyuu is not a man that loses his composure that easily, but to say he wasn't worried about the letter anymore would be a lie.
He thought about other things that could happen to it, maybe one of the kids took it? No, they would've given it back to him. Maybe it flew away with the wind, found its way into Kyojuro's estate and he read it and now doesn't want to see Giyuu for the rest of his life?! He shakes his head, no, he's just being irrational… is he?
He sighs, this wasn't good for his mind. He tries to relax as he opens the door of the butterfly estate, if Shinobu sees him worrying like this she would tease him non-stop.
"Oh! Tomioka-san!" A familiar voice greets him again. It's been a week since he saw Tanjiro. He had a little gauze patch underneath his left eye, covering a wound sustained during their fight with the lower moon six.
"Tanjiro." He nods to greet the boy.
"It's been a while! How've you been?" He accommodates the box on his back, Giyuu could hear Nezuko's gentle snore coming from it.
"I've been… fine, I think." He shrugs.
Tanjiro gives a worried look. "You don't sound fine." Giyuu is sure Tanjiro could even smell his mood, but he doesn't mention it.
"It's nothing to worry about," He says instead.
"Hmmm, if you say so."
They chat for a bit, or rather, Tanjiro talks a lot about what he and his companions did through the week, Giyuu casually mentions that the reason why he's at the butterfly estate is that he fought a demon with an acid blood demon art that left a nasty injury on his arm and came there to get it checked again.
"Ohhh that sucks, is acid blood demon art common? Rengoku-san also fought a demon with a similar technique."
Giyuu's mind stopped for a second.
"He's alright, though! But he still came to get checked by Shinobu-san!" Tanjiro smiles, and for a moment Giyuu thinks he forgot how to speak.
He clears his throat, trying to figure out his thoughts. "I see." Just knowing they're at the same place makes Giyuu's heart skip a beat, he really got it bad huh?
"Oh! I almost forgot! Last week Zenitsu found your letter when we were fighting that demon, but don't worry, we didn't read anything inside it!"
Tanjiro could've just cut Giyuu's head off, it would've caused the same effect his words had. Tanjiro notices the way Giyuu's eyes widen.
"Tomio-"
"Do you have it?"
"Huh?"
Tomioka repeats, louder this time. " Do you still have the letter? "
"Uh, not really?" Tanjiro furrows his eyebrows, looking like a kicked puppy. "We thought it was important so we delivered it to Rengoku-san."
Oh
Oh no oh no OH NO
Giyuu’s whole world is collapsing around him, his letter reached Kyoujuro, the letter where he confessed all of his feelings for Kyoujuro, that same letter he thought got destroyed last week.
What a fool he is.
"Were we not supposed to?"
Giyuu snaps back to reality, he sure looks pale, making the young slayer worry.
He takes a deep breath. "Where is Rengoku?"
"Ah," Tanjiro points towards the house. "He's probably still getting patched up by Shinobu-san."
Giyuu nods, before the teen could say something else he dashes inside the house, leaving a worried-looking Tanjiro behind.
He makes a bee-line towards Kocho's office and before he could think properly he slams the door open, startling the two people inside it.
"Tomioka?" Shinobu's voice was a mix of surprise and well-hidden anger. "Don't you know it's rude to enter a room just like that?"
Giyuu wanted to reply to her, he really did, but at the sight of the shirtless flame pillar in front of him, he felt the words in his throat die. He mumbles an apology and closes the door with more delicacy.
"Good to see you, Tomioka!" Kyoujuro smiles that bright smile of his, Giyuu couldn't look at him, so he just mumbles a greeting.
Shinobu huffs and goes back to attending Kyoujuro, applying some sort of cream over the wound on his chest. "It should be fine in a couple of days, but if it changes in color or if it starts hurting again you should come to see me, just in case, okay?"
Kyoujuro nods and thanks her before buttoning up his shirt again. He gives Giyuu a little wave before opening the door, and before Tomioka could think, he grabs Kyoujuro by the shoulder.
"Can we talk for a moment?" He manages to say, Kyoujuro looks confused for a second before smiling again, Giyuu thinks he's imagining the faint blush on Kyoujuro's face.
"Sure! What do you want to talk about?"
"Uh, not here, can we go out-" Giyuu stops mid-sentence when he feels a strong hand around his injured arm. He looks down to see Shinobu smiling one of her passive-aggressive smiles. A low blow even for you, Kocho. He thinks.
"My oh my, Tomioka! You aren't planning to leave without me checking your arm first, right? Even after you came inside stomping like a silly bull!" She applied more pressure to the wound, was she really mad he came through the door like that?
"I don't have a mission yet so I can wait for you, Tomioka!" Kyoujuro says.
Giyuu feels conflicted, so he tells Kyoujuro to wait for him in the backyard -just in case he wants to bring the letter in front of Shinobu-, Kyoujuro nods and waves goodbye to them.
"Hm, what's going on between you and Rengoku, Tomioka?" She finally leaves his arm alone, Giyuu sighs in relief. "I didn't know you two were close, for you to ask him to wait outside as if you were a maiden in love, it's a rare sight to see!"
He turns his face to the other side, not wanting her to see the blush creeping on his face. "It's none of your business."
"Alright then, keep your secrets."
She ends up applying the cream on his arm a little bit tougher than necessary.
He doesn't let Shinobu scold him for not taking care of his wound, he dresses up quickly when she's done and dashes outside the room. She'll make his life insufferable after but, honestly, when doesn't she make his life insufferable?
It took him just a few seconds to find Kyoujuro, and the sight in front of him made him almost panic for the first time in years.
Kyoujuro was unfolding the letter.
When the flame pillar notices Giyuu in the distance, he waves a hand at him. "Ey! Tomioka! I was about to read your le-"
Giyuu moves without even thinking. Before Kyoujuro could finish that sentence, Giyuu rushes towards him, wanting to snatch the letter, but Kyoujuro is faster, so he moves his hand away and with the other, he blocks the hand that tried to reach the letter.
"Tomioka?" Kyoujuro blinks at him, clearly confused.
" ... back. "
"Huh?" Kyoujuro tilts his head, trying to hear better. "Sorry, could you repeat that?"
Giyuu is still like a rock, not facing Kyoujuro at all. He takes a deep breath before speaking again. "Give me my letter back."
"Uh, but, why?" There was genuine curiosity in that question. "It's directed to me, so I have the right to read it."
Okay, he couldn't argue with that. Think Giyuu, think! "It's not finished yet." He internally smacks himself, that’s a pathetic excuse.
"Huh… Well, you're here, why don't you tell me personally, then?"
Giyuu keeps looking down, his lips pressed in a flat line as he sweats. He doesn't answer.
Kyoujuro waits for a couple of minutes, but when he sees there's no answer coming he just sighs. "It's okay, Tomioka, I won't judge." His voice came out far softer than he ever heard the man speak, Giyuu flinches, his heart aching just from a few words.
"... I have this… habit," He says in a whisper, he wonders if Kyoujuro heard him, but seeing he didn't ask him to repeat himself he continues. "I write letters I never send, it's… it's mostly a way to help me vent out frustrations… " He takes a deep breath. "The letter you have, it wasn't supposed to reach you, it was just a mere coincidence Tanjiro and his friends found it and gave it to you."
"... Oh." Kyoujuro lowers his arm and looks at the piece of paper in front of him. "Is it something bad, then?" His voice is barely audible, making Giyuu worry, he finally looks at the flame pillar, he could feel his heart shattering at the sight of Kyoujuro looking hurt.
Giyuu doesn't answer.
Kyoujuro sighs again, he grabs one of Giyuu's hands and puts the folded letter back to it. "If I've done something wrong, I'd rather like it if you told me personally, Tomioka." He gives him a sympathetic smile.
But you didn't do anything wrong , Giyuu thinks.
"I know I can be a bit… well, very obnoxious! So if I did something that offended you or made you mad at me-"
Wait, no, what are you saying?!
"Just tell me so I won't do it again, or if you'd rather not see me ever again-"
Hold on.
"Just… Just tell me, okay?"
That's not-
"That 's not true!"
Kyoujuro's eyes widen at the sudden burst of Giyuu, while the water pillar doesn't know where to hide his face.
His cheeks are burning. "That's… that's not true at all." He says in a lower voice.
"Then what is it?" The water pillar hands him back the letter, Kyoujuro looks at it, then at Giyuu, then back at the letter. "Umh…"
"Just … just read it, okay?" He says in a pathetic whisper. "You'll find out after you do it."
He gives Giyuu one more worried look before grabbing the letter from his hands, he unfolds it with delicacy, and before he could read it out loud, Giyuu stops him.
"Read it in your mind." He practically begs. "... Please."
Kyoujuro nods and goes back to read the letter, squinting a little bit due to his lack of glasses.
To my dearest, Rengoku Kyoujuro.
He stops reading, he looks at Giyuu with wide eyes and bright blush, but the other guy ignores his gaze. He doesn't question and continues reading.
Ever since the day I met you, I've been captivated by your golden-red eyes, the way you laugh, the form of your smile. You're the sun itself, so bright and warm, yet impossible to reach. I like staying by your side, your sole presence is enough to make a bad day turn better, and I had plenty of bad days, so it's a nice change of pace.
Kyoujuro can't help but let out a little snort, Giyuu starts regretting his entire existence.
I wish I could tell you how much I love you, how I yearn to see you every day for the rest of my life, how I wish to wrap myself around the warmth you emit.
My sun, you shine so brightly and so far away, I wonder if my feelings will reach you someday.
Yours truly, Tomioka Giyuu.
P.S.: I also think you have a nice butt, like, wow.
Kyoujuro feels his chest fill with giggles, he has to use his hand to stop them from coming, he can see Giyuu tense as his face grows redder from embarrassment.
"I knew this was a bad idea." Giyuu’s ready to snatch the letter again and break it into a million pieces and then, maybe, throw himself inside a well, but Kyojuro grabs his hand with both of his, confusing Giyuu.
"I'm- " He snorts. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean bad, it's just," He huffs, trying to catch up his breath. "This is the sweetest thing someone ever said to me."
"What?" Giyuu mutters, not believing what the other is telling him.
"I think it is really sweet!" He says with a bright smile, those that make Giyuu's heart drum against his chest. "And I'm really flattered, really, I'm not, uh, sure what to say now but-"
"You don't have to reciprocate," Giyuu interrupts. "Just… I'm just happy to spend time with you, so you don't have to force yourself to accept my feelings or anything." It would hurt for a while, but Giyuu was already used to getting heartbroken.
Kyoujuro shakes his head. "Who says I'm forcing myself to reciprocate?" He says softly. "I'm reciprocating because I feel the same. "
Oh.
Now that’s an outcome Giyuu didn't expect.
"You… feel the same…" Giyuu repeats slowly.
"Yeah! The same!”
“The same…”
Kyoujuro nods. “The same.”
“... The same…”
Kyoujuro laughs. “Giyuu, please!” Hearing him say his name shouldn’t make Giyuu’s stomach fill with butterflies but it’s exactly what’s happening. “Is it really so hard to believe?”
“... A little, yeah.” He looks down, he feels the grip from Kyoujuro’s hands tighten.
“Well, if I kiss you, would you believe me then?”
Kyoujuro might’ve broken something inside Giyuu’s mind, he could feel himself steaming. It took a moment, but Giyuu finally managed to get his brain cells work enough to let him nod, maybe a little bit too enthusiastic.
Kyoujuro contains a chuckle, moves his hands to gently cup Giyuu’s face, and leans forward, sealing the deal with a soft kiss on the lips.
It feels like a dream, Giyuu is sure he’s going to wake up any second now, but feeling Kyoujuro's lips move against his, his warm breath against his face and his calloused hands on him, if it's a dream then he doesn't want to wake up ever.
But every good thing has to end, and the end of their kiss came with a rowdy teen yelling for Giyuu.
"Tomioka-san! I wanted to apo- OH HEY HELLO!"
Kyoujuro cuts the kiss, it wasn't abruptly, he just turns to look where the voice comes from. "Oh! Tanjiro, my boy! What's the matter?"
Giyuu clenches his fist, Bad timing, Tanjiro , he sighs before facing the teen.
"Ah! Well- I just wanted to apologize to Tomioka-san!" His face is a deep shade of red, it amuses Giyuu a bit, the poor kid is so innocent, getting all flustered just for finding two people kissing.
"It's okay, don't worry." Giyuu gives one of his little smiles, Tanjiro still looks flustered, but manages to relax a bit.
"So, about the letter…”
“You shouldn’t have delivered it without my permission.” Giyuu scolds, making Tanjiro flinch. “... But,” He gives Kyoujuro a quick glance, the blond looking at him expectantly. “I have to thank you. I have to admit, I would’ve never done it myself, so, yeah, thanks.”
“Oh! Glad to be of help, then?” He looks a bit confused, especially after hearing Kyoujuro laugh. Giyuu’s smiles widen, just a little bit and he pats Tanjiro’s head, making the poor boy even more confused.