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The first time Ann remembered relying on her looks she would’ve been no older than eleven, standing in the pastel shaded halls of her primary school. She recalled the entire building had smelled of watered down paint and chalk and that day, outside the principal’s office, these smells had set her teeth on edge and made her skin feel tight and hot. Angry red welts had burned themselves onto the skin of the arm that she’d tucked behind her back, she’d been surprised and frustrated with how many times she’d had to pinch herself to actually bring tears to her eyes. It had worked though. Her principal had taken one look at her rounded blotched face and watery eyes and had let her off with a warning and a semi-firm instruction to apologise. He hadn’t even seen her flushed arm. He certainly hadn’t seen the knuckles she’d bruised when she’d punched Takeshi right in his dumb, stupid face for picking on her friend. Ann had stuck her tongue out at the principal's door as soon as he'd closed it again and as she stood with her hand held under the cold tap catching disgusted, curious and sometimes amazed looks from the other girls she decided that she definitely would not be apologising to Takeshi. She’d been taught that lying was wrong anyway.
As far as Ann was concerned that was the only time she’d used the way she looked to get her own way. For the next few years though it seemed like every fucking other person she’d ever even met in passing had a very different opinion. By the time she was 12 everyone was saying that while Ann Takamaki was pretty she was also dumb so it didn’t really matter. Nobody cared that her grades at worst were average and that she was fluent in three languages. When she was 14 she took her first modelling job and only cried a little when her few friends stopped talking to her because they thought her new job made her 'fake'. At 15 she was apparently a stone cold bitch who thought she was too good for everyone. She was 16 the first time someone called her a slut to her face and she was ashamed that she froze. She had wanted to laugh in their face, she wanted to tell them that she’d never even kissed anyone before. Hell, she hadn’t even had a friend who didn’t want something from her for years. She’d almost wanted to blurt out that she was only interested in girls and wouldn’t that have been an explosive way to come out? In the sterile halls of Shujin, to a complete stranger, surrounded by people she’d never even spoken to who thought they knew everything about her because they knew what she looked like.
She’d wanted to do all of that but instead she’d frozen. In that moment she thought she saw her entire life staying like this, with everyone she would ever meet thinking of her the exact same way. God, it was fucking miserable.
It was then that a fist had come flying by her face attached to a small dark haired girl. The next thing Ann knew the boy was slumped on the floor cursing and clutching his steadily bleeding nose. There was a beat of stunned silence and then chaos had erupted. The entire corridor had crowded around him and she was aware of shouting and calls for the nurse but all of that meant nothing when Ann’s defender had squeezed herself out of the huddle to stand in front of her. The girl’s face was a picture of fury, midnight hair had slipped out of her ponytail in clumps to cling to her forehead and the muscles in her arms flexed dangerously from where her fists were still clenched at her sides.
“God, what a fucking idiot. Don’t listen to that guy Takamaki-san, he’s just bitter because he couldn’t pass gym class even if someone literally carried him through it.” The girl then took a second to huff out a frustrated breath that sent the longer strands of now loose hair flying away from her face. She seemed to take in Ann’s still motionless state then and every edge of her softened into concern as she took an alarmingly hesitant step forward. She had to tilt her head slightly to look Ann in the eyes. “Are you okay Takamaki-san?” she asked.
“Call me Ann,” the blonde had no clue how she was talking when her brain had stalled and was now just giving her white noise to work with “you punch people around here often? You’re really good at it.” Ann wished she could punch herself. The girl giggled and Ann couldn’t breathe.
“Surprisingly no, but I am on the volleyball team so I guess you could call me an expert when it comes to hitting things really, really hard.” She gestured over her shoulder to the downed boy for emphasis and Ann had to admit that it was pretty compelling evidence. “I need to run before the staff get here but do you maybe want to meet up later? We could get something to eat-” she looked almost strangely nervous then- “ and I promise I won’t punch anything this time.” Ann wanted to tell her that she would happily stand and watch this girl punch things all day, instead she just nodded and hoped she didn’t look too desperate. A part of herself that she’d iced over long ago lurched.
After a hurried exit from the crime scene they exchanged numbers next to a vending machine on the first floor. The smaller girl wrestled her hair back into order while rattling off her contact details. Ann got as far as the blank 'contact name' box before she had to pause. Her rescuer had seemed to realise her predicament at the same time, she’d gently taken Ann’s phone from her still slightly numb fingers and tapped something in before handing it back with a smile. The girl had then proposed they meet by the gates after school to which Ann agreed and watched helplessly as the other then turned to leave. She got a few steps away before faltering and glancing back. She had appeared to weigh something up mentally for a breathless moment before pivoting and returning to Ann’s side. For one breathless moment Ann had been almost terrified as she thought the girl might hug her, the blonde hadn’t hugged anyone except her family members in so long she wasn’t sure she’d even know how to react at this point. Instead the athlete reached out with her now bruising hand and took hold of Ann’s free hand. Ann felt the girl squeeze her fingers firmly but a little gingerly, although if this was to avoid spooking Ann or further aggravating her injury was unknown.
“Look, seriously, don’t listen to that jerk Ann. I’ve seen you in class, you're really, um, you’re really good at stuff. And I don’t really know much about fashion but I saw you on an ad down in Shibuya and I totally nearly bought a whole new wardrobe because of how you looked wearing that stuff.” She flushed after this admission but set her mouth in a determined line as she tried to convey her sincerity to the taller girl. For the first time in longer than she cared to know Ann beamed back at the girl and tightened her hold on her hand.
“Maybe after school we could swing by the mall and I could teach you some stuff about fashion then? In return you could totally show me how to throw a punch like that!” Ann admired the way the other girl’s cheeks darkened as she firmly nodded her affirmative.
“Catch you later then fighter!” and with that the girl released Ann’s hand and hurried away, before long she had vanished from sight around a corner. It had taken Ann an embarrassing amount of time to stop gawking after the hurricane that had just flipped her life and realise she was still clutching her phone a touch too tightly. Frantically, she tapped in her code and stared at the screen in delight at her brand new contact.
*Shiho Suzui 💕 added to contacts*
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Now, standing on Shiho’s front porch as her foot anxiously tapped an irregular rhythm on the cement tiles, Ann found it almost difficult to recognise who she had been back then. It wasn’t all that long ago realistically but it felt like a different lifetime entirely, a far colder and more cynical one. Shiho had arrived fists swinging and Ann’s life had brightened immeasurably. They’d had a few months to grow closer undisturbed it was a time full of trips out, hushed late night phone calls and warm familiarity in school. Despite this they were still very much an army of two and at the time Ann had been scared to change that, she felt like anything new would shatter her newfound friendship, it was the two of them against the world and that was fine...until it wasn’t.
Kamoshida honestly wasn’t a huge surprise for Ann. She’d been conscious of his leering gaze on her back since day one. The few fights she'd had with Shiho back then had all been about the amount of bruises the other girl always seemed to have after volleyball practice. Ann wasn’t surprised at how easy she’d found it to trade herself in for the sake of Shiho, she wasn’t surprised that the student body seemed to love having proof to back up their rumours this time and she certainly wasn’t surprised that nobody except Shiho reached out to help her. Watching her best friend fade before her very eyes was the most painful thing Ann had ever experienced and the lingering sense of helplessness still woke her up in a cold sweat to this day, gasping for air and wheezing apologies into the silence of her dark room. When they’d first met, Shiho had seemed the very definition of an unstoppable force and watching her become quiet and withdrawn killed Ann in a way that almost made her long for her previous isolation. Deep down though she’d known that wasn’t an option anymore, not as long as the girl she’d been in love with from the first punch needed her.
Ann had blamed herself at first. She hadn’t been strong enough to hold everything together. If she’d given Kamoshida even more he wouldn’t have needed to take anything from Shiho. She wasn't surprised that she had failed, she'd always known she was in over her head. But then the metaverse happened and to say that had surprised her would be an understatement. For the second time in her life everything had changed for the better again except this time she owed it all to her dumb, brave, reckless friends. God, she fucking loved them. She remembered that as two of the strangest boys she had ever met stood cheering her on from across that palace room the way that everything had made sense again. Shiho wasn’t any less strong, Ann wasn’t responsible and neither of them deserved this shit. There was only one man to blame and Kamoshida was going to fucking pay.
Limping out of the palace after awakening her persona, weak from exertion and too tired to reject the offers of help from the boys, Ann had thought about that distant day outside of the principal’s office. The dull throb in her knuckles was the same, as was the surge of joy that had her poking fun at Sakamoto and easily accepting the walking absurdity that was the god damn talking cat. Ann had noticed right away that all of her new companions approached her the same way Shiho had, they were entirely and unabashedly themselves and Ann adored them from the start. Sakamoto, it turned out, was the softest delinquent she’d ever met. He’d rushed even on his clearly damaged leg to get her a drink and every time she felt her legs get weaker he seemed to sense it and would be by her side as a steady source of support. His help was given entirely without judgement and she could tell he was genuinely concerned for her, even if he tried to conceal it behind a layer of fake toughness. That tough facade only fell apart even further each time he would absentmindedly reach out to brush dirt off of Morgana’s fur or pick debris out of Ann’s hair with an extremely gentle hand. Kurusu, on the other hand, had reminded her so starkly of Shiho that it was almost painful. He was a whirlwind trapped inside a frame that seemed entirely too small to contain him but as he placed a warm hand on Ann’s shoulder and instructed her to sleep well so she could drag Kamoshida through Hell herself, she felt a sense of loyalty sweep through her that fit right at home in her heart between her newfound camaraderie with her team mates and her enduring love for Shiho. She belonged here with them and this time if anyone tried to take that away from her, she knew that she would be ready to fight tooth and nail for it.
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As Mrs. Suzui led Ann on a familiar track through her home Ann once again ran through her speech in her head. She had known that she wanted to confess to Shiho for a long time now but she had never felt quite ready. Shiho deserved the best and Ann had wanted desperately to shape herself into that, it had only been as she was leaving school earlier that she had realized her goal was impossible. She’d wanted to be the best version of herself; someone who had friends but didn’t need them, who was perfectly put together and who could tell Shiho with confidence that nothing would ever go wrong again. As she’d awoken from her impromptu nap in the hazy student council room and looked in the mirror she’d realised with a smile that the mess she was now was the best version of her. It was a version of herself that heavily borrowed from her friends but for the first time she could acknowledge how that didn’t make her dependent, it just made her happier. She didn't need to be alone to be strong and personally, she loved the fingerprints her friends had left on her. Even now she could feel the tightness around her chest from Makoto's two sizes too small shirt, peeking out from her sleeve was the chipping remains of the blue body paint Yusuke had convinced her to allow him to draw on her with, there was a purple bruise on her upper arm from when Ryuji had been thrown against her in Mementos, black and white cat hair clung stubbornly to her tights and her necklace was a far too expensive gift from Akira. She wasn’t well put together today either. Exam stress and the rising pressure from her need to confess to Shiho had kept her up all night and although Makoto had provided her with a new shirt to replace her orange juice soaked one she still smells vaguely of citrus, and there may well still be a hint of a stain on her skirt. She knew she absolutely couldn’t tell Shiho that nothing would go wrong again because something went wrong every five fucking minutes in her life. Ann may not be the walking human disaster magnet that Akira was, but as far as she was concerned Akira was her brother and she knew that anything he got into she would be right there behind him, it was something the team had never discussed but she knew they all felt the same. Ultimately, it all came down to the fact that if this whole palace ordeal and their new routine of nearly dying on a monthly basis had taught Ann anything it was that life was short and could only be what you make of it. Nobody was going to deliver her life to her, she had to reach out and take it, and if it all went wrong at least she knew for a fact that there would always be a place for her in a cosy corner of LeBlanc where she was sure Akira would mother her relentlessly. She couldn’t help but wish for a different outcome though.
--
“Hey there, fighter” Shiho repositioned herself so she was slightly more upright in her bed “how’d the last day of exams go? You’ve got Niijima-san teaching you now so no excuses this time.” The athlete seemed fairly settled and content today, she was tucked into an almost towering pile of pillows and stuffed animals that had caught Ann off guard the first time she had visited. Shiho had taken it in stride and silently dared her to comment against her small army of cuddly critters. Ann had thought it was adorable.
“All I can say is I’m super happy they’re done with now. I might’ve had Makoto teaching me but she still had to spend most of her time keeping the boys in line.”
“Just the boys, huh?”
“Me and Akira may have had one small race around Yongen Jaya,” Shiho giggled as Ann settled herself next to her in the nest and swiftly caused a cave in of teddy bears that pressed the two of them together at the shoulder “but that race was only to prove that I could run faster in heels than he could.” Shiho snorted loudly into the cosy quiet of the room.
“I’m so excited to meet your weird ass friends Ann.”
“I’m excited for you to meet them too but we both know you would’ve lost that race. You could probably outrun me and Akira but you can’t walk for shit in heels.”
“That's ‘cus heels were made by Satan himself, not my fault.” Shiho yawned before slumping down and pressing her head against the other girl’s shoulder. Ann could feel a slight dampness through her shirt from Shiho’s hair and she figured the shorter girl must have just recently finished doing her physical therapy for the day and had showered afterwards. The room was still for a good few minutes. It was only as Shiho’s breath was beginning to even out in a way that was edging closer to sleep by the second that Ann jumped into action.
“Oh! If you, um, just if you want I’ve been looking at some stuff lately and I know your hair must be getting on your nerves when you’re moving around a lot so I thought-” she interrupted herself with a frustrated breath and an internal reminder to get her shit together- “long story short, I taught myself how to braid hair. Would you mind?” Shiho seemed reluctant to move from her spot at first but perked up as Ann continued. She smiled encouragingly at the blonde before sweeping her hair over her shoulder and turning to face away from Ann to give her as much access as possible. Ann began work quickly and sent a quick mental prayer out to the immaculate women of YouTube that had been her braiding instructors, she hoped that they knew what they were talking about. “There’s actually another reason I wanted to do this too.”
“Is it so you can teach me to do it to you? Because I’ll try Ann but we both know I’m useless and the last time we had to cut that hair tie out of your hair and-”
“No it’s not that.” Ann took a breath and reminded herself again that the worst case scenario was hanging out in Leblanc for a few days and having a pity party with Akira. Hell, he had it way worse than Ann really, at least she wasn’t smitten with someone who almost certainly wanted to see her in jail. “Okay, so I’m totally going to use the fact that you can’t move your head while I'm braiding as an opportunity to ramble so bear with me. The main point is that I am, like, stupidly in love with you-” Shiho immediately went to move but a gentle tap against her shoulder stopped her- “I think I have been for a really long time. You’re the strongest person I know and you’re super beautiful and I guess I was just waiting until I felt like I was worth that. What I realised today is that I am happy with the version of me I am now and I want to be with you. Hell, I should show you my texts with Akira, like, eighty percent of them are thirst texts about you and, oh one sec I’ll just show you but I want you to know that if you don’t want to that's fine too, I mean I don't even know if you even like girls-” Ann released Shiho’s half done braid to reach for her phone in her bag. She only realised her mistake as she turned back to face the athlete with her phone now in hand. Before Ann could fully process that Shiho was now definitely facing her, the phone in her hand had been removed and tossed lightly onto a nearby pillow pile and there were hands cupping her face and warm lips on hers. Her breath left her in a whoosh and she was sure her squeak of surprise and the initial flailing of her arms before she settled them around Shiho’s shoulders wasn’t the most romantic but in the moment she couldn’t care less. The press of Shiho’s lips was firm as Ann relaxed into the kiss delightedly, but the hands framing Ann’s face were feather light as though afraid touching her would make her vanish. Shiho traced her cheekbones before trailing down to her jaw. Ann pressed a small whimper into Shiho’s mouth as the girl’s hands dipped further and her nails grazed Ann’s neck, however before there was any chance for the kiss to progress past a simple press of lips, a slightly shaky giggle burst from Shiho as she broke away to laugh into her hand. Ann resisted the urge to pout like an actual child.
“Ann, babe, I’ve loved you for months, I think you’re amazing and smart and definitely the hottest person alive I mean c’mon but-” Shiho’s giggling picked up here even further as she struggled through her thoughts- “did you seriously not know that I like you?”
“Well, I couldn’t know for certain!”
“Ann, literally the very first time we spoke, that was me trying to ask you on a date.” Ann froze.
“What?”
“Let’s review. I punched a guy for you then I invited you out to dinner, gave you my number and held your hand. I put a heart next to my name in your contacts!” Ann was frozen in mortified horror as Shiho broke out into another round of laughter now falling backwards on the bed. “Holy shit! I thought you were turning me down gently with the whole ‘let’s not do dinner, teach me how to punch’ line and then I figure either you and Akira or you and Makoto were a done deal. You literally showed up today wearing what is clearly another girl’s shirt, fuck, I was getting read for the worst.” Her laughter had subsided into snickering now as she looked up to see Ann staring off into the middle distance blankly. After a few minutes of cooing and light kisses Ann seemed to be recovering even if she still looked like she desperately wanted the floor to swallow her whole and never spit her out.
“C’mon you can sleep off your embarrassment,” Shiho declared as she settled Ann down amongst the pillows “I can see those bags under your eyes, exams must’ve done a number on you.” Once the blonde was settled Shiho looped both arms around her waist and pressed herself against Ann’s side contentedly. “Just to clarify, by the way, this means I like you, it’s not a gal pals thing.” Ann desperately wished she had an arm free to bat at her girlfriend with, as it was she had to settle for groaning and squeezing her eyes shut to drown out the snickering.
“I can’t believe we could’ve been dating from day one, I’m such an idiot.” She grumbled.
“Nawh, we would’ve been too much of a power couple for Shujin to handle back then anyway. Everyone’s too busy gossiping about your rowdy friends to care about us at the minute.” Shiho assured, Ann went suddenly rigid below her however and her eyes flew back open in horror.
“Holy fuck, please don’t tell Akira about this.”
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Not too long after that day Ann stood by that same vending machine where she and Shiho had once huddled themselves away from the world and wondered at the changes in her life.
“How the actual fuck do you get a whole ass cat stuck in a vending machine?”
“Look, you can either help or criticise but you can’t do both bonk man. Mona stop screaming, you always do this shit and I’m always the only one that gets hurt.”
“Maybe you could buy a snack senpai, it might show him the way out!”
“That’s deffo Akira’s job I ain’t paying any yen for a cat this dumb.”
“Ryuji!”
From her pocket Ann felt her phone buzz against her leg, no doubt another update request from her girlfriend who was now just as invested in this saga as the small crowd that had gathered to watch. Tuning out the background cacophony of Ryuji getting his own arm stuck in the machine, Ann turned on her phone and immediately realised the mistake she had made by leaving her phone unlocked while she slept next to a very much awake Shiho.
#1 Gal Pal [19/07/20XX]
16:03
#1 Gal Pal: U guys know there’s a hatch on the back of most vending machines right? Why was the first thought to send Sakamoto in after him????
Gay Pannic: Ryuji is the sacrifice to the vending machine gods, not the practical solution
Gay Pannic: Plus Makoto isn't here yet and she does most of the thinking for this group now
Gay Pannic: Also, '#1 gal pal'??? You’re never going to let me live this down are you??
#1 Gal Pal: Nopeeeeee
#1 Gal Pal: Oh and I took the liberty of adding Akira to my contacts, I have some gr8 stories for him after all <3