Chapter Text
Raya is twelve, when she first locks eyes with the Princess of Fang.
Standing on the stone by her Ba's side, she allows her gaze to wander across the people gathered in front of them. Four kingdoms. Four peoples. Four cultures.
Four chances for things to go wrong.
At first, Raya doesn't see her - too stimulated and distracted and enthralled by everything, everyone, around her to notice one other kid in amongst it all. It's only when she realises the absence of anyone her age, that she starts looking.
And there she was, right up front and standing quietly by the side of Chief Virana, and dressed neatly in bright, light colours; the colours of her own people.
The colours of Fang.
Her Ba hadn't mentioned to her that Fang also has a princess, one just like her. Or... no, not exactly just like her. This girl, she isn't straining by her mother's side like Raya, attempting and failing to hold back excitement. She isn't scanning around in awe at the sights surrounding her. She isn't even looking up at all.
Shy.
That's the first word Raya picks for her, and doesn't notice herself already moving a little closer across the stone. A little closer, almost at the steps, until she catches herself. Halts there, one foot about to start her descent, aware and unaware of herself being pulled in the girl's direction and with little understanding of why.
Why had she moved so easily?
Why had she moved at all?
She's supposed to stay here, by father's side - father, who is now watching her with a raised brow, as he finishes the last of his greeting to their prospective new allies. Their hopeful new allies.
Turning away from his curious eyes, her own naturally track back to the same place they had been previously and what they see freezes her in her spot. Still with a foot half-hanging over the ancient stone steps, where she has yet to move herself back from.
She's being watched back now.
Something pops in her ears, in the back of her head, in her nape - warm and uncomfortable, tingling sharply down the back of her neck and drawing a flinch out of her. A hand lifts itself to the back of her head, feeling for the cause of the sensation and finding nothing.
The girl has a hand of her own raised, doing the same; feeling against her own skull for whatever may have caused it. Raya knows of soulmates, but that doesn't mean she understands. Stories of "your soul knowing it's half", and "filling your spirit with joy", and a million other things upon first meeting somewhat more intense and dramatic than the actual reality; as they so often are.
No one mentioned feeling like Tuk Tuk had vomited on the pillow behind you as one of those signals. Not to her, anyway.
She doesn't recognise it for what it is, instead distracted by the curious look being sent her way from the other princess once more. Some more things stand out now that Raya can see her face more clearly - she has nice eyes, and is wearing makeup. Even knowing she's staring, Raya can't look away; and it's returned this time in full.
Pretty.
The second word that Raya decides on, and once again does not feel herself moving closer to her, and further away from her Ba. She's about halfway down the steps this time, when his amused voice floats into her attention - aimed at her, this time.
"It seems my daughter has decided we're starting now."
A few chuckles sound around the clearing at the soft-hearted chiding; her splintered attention and internal conflict apparently having been noticed by some of their guests now. Turning an apologetic look in her father's direction, she is treated to him smiling her way and gesturing her to continue on the path that has stolen all of her focus. There's affection there, and amusement - and not all of it laughing with her, at least a small portion indeed laughing at her instead.
But she has his blessing now, bounding down the remaining steps as the other princess receives a gentle shove from her mother. She still looks uncertain, even as she draws closer to Raya; slumped shoulders trying to stay back and poised and not quite managing to do so consistently.
"I'm Namaari, of Fang."
"Hi Namaari, I'm Raya."
And yes, Raya had been right about the words she'd selected for Namaari so far; she is certainly both shy and pretty. Raya complimenting her Sisu pendant manages to chase away some of the shy while enhancing the pretty, getting a small smile in return that feels like a victory.
Raya is twelve, when she tugs Namaari up the stone steps by her wrist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Namaari slowly settles, and starts to warm. It takes some time, and some more food, but she does; and it's everything Raya had been hoping for from all of this.
A friend. Her first one.
Namaari leans in towards her at one point, Raya uncertain whether she is pushed or pulled in to meet her and doing nothing to stop it either way. She wants to be closer to Namaari, and doesn't really understand why.
Tucking hair behind her ear, Namaari smiles conspiratorially her way and Raya would agree to anything, anything at all, just to have her do that one more time.
"Want to see something cool?"
"Yes, of course!"
Glancing around them both for anyone playing voyeur and finding none, Namaari reaches a hand into her tunic and pulls out a... map? Not until she's opening it up, spreading the folds flat against the ground, does the item register as familiar.
"Is that a Dragon Map? Are you supposed to have that?"
"Definitely not. So shhh."
Fuelled by keeping a secret of Namaari's, with Namaari, she does as she's been asked and lowers her voice to meet her new friend's hushed one. And maybe, just maybe, Raya leans in just a little too close to Namaari when they're looking over the map, feeling their shoulders rub against each other and not moving away.
Neither does Namaari.
She listens, raptly and enthusiastically, as Namaari narrates the stories of the kingdoms to her - ones she's already heard, but is happy to hear again if it's Namaari telling them.
She's been entrusted with a secret now. And a gift - the Sisu pendant she had complimented on Namaari earlier that day.
What's one more?
Raya is twelve, when she takes Namaari's hand and leads her from the party.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For the first time ever, Raya finds her attention caught on something else other than the Dragon Gem when they enter its chamber - watching the girl by her side as she bows in respect, and lingering on her while her eyes are closed.
Only when Namaari looks back over her way once done, does her focus flick to the gem. Fast enough not to be caught staring, this time.
And Raya knows, feels it in her bones and on her skin, that Namaari is watching her too when she steps in front and towards the gem. Enjoys the happy feeling it gives her, as she talks and pretends she doesn't know that it's happening.
"Thank you, dep la. You've been... very helpful."
Pain explodes against her hip before she even fully registers the words, a kick against her when her back is turned sending her sprawling onto the ground.
Raya is twelve, when Namaari betrays her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somehow, somehow, the kingdom of Heart fight off the intruders intent on stealing their strength for themselves.
Raya watches, borderline helplessly, as her Ba defends both her and the gem - it is the first time she has seen him in action. Not holding back, like he does while training her. Not holding back at all.
He does not come away unscathed from it, an arrow lodged in his thigh and stalling his movements even when the battle turns in their favour; won purely due to superior numbers supplied in thanks to their home advantage.
And no thanks to her, that much is certain.
The disappointment in his eyes when he looks her way, placing the gem back in its position, hurts more than any of the blows Namaari had succeeded in landing on her. He doesn't even respond to her apologies, when he is assisted away from the chamber and towards the healer's home.
He doesn't look her way the one time he acknowledges her, back turned her way and leaning heavily on some fellow Guardians.
"You nearly cost us everything today, Raya."
There is no screaming. No anger. No punishment. He just leaves her standing there, by the one thing that she had been sworn to protect.
That is punishment enough.
Raya is twelve, when she wounds her father more deeply than the arrow embedded in him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No one bothers her when she leaves to return home, head down and ignoring any and all of the glances sent her way by her people. There are many. Too many. So many, that they feel like tiny little cuts on her skin - bleeding her conscience, if not her blood.
Still she does not look up.
Not until she is safe in her home, in her room, where she may not leave again for a long time. If her Ba won't punish her, she may as well do it herself. Maybe it will make her feel better.
It doesn't.
Tuk Tuk curls up by her on her bed, seemingly sensing her hurt and wanting to comfort. It's not quite enough, but it is something. Sleep does not claim her for hours, not until she has cried enough tears against her pillow to exhaust her to that point. The one where she cannot stay awake, even if she wishes to.
No matter how much she tries, her thoughts continue to drift towards Namaari. Namaari and her stupid smile, and her stupid hair, and her stupid necklace; the necklace Raya can feel tucked against her thigh, snug in her pocket and burning with the anger it riles up deep in her.
Traitor.
That is the third word she thinks of, while thinking of Namaari. Even so, a part of her still desires to move, move her towards someone who isn't there and who she shouldn't go anywhere near even if she were.
Her first friend. Her first heartbreak. Her first real lesson in being too trusting.
Sitting up in bed, she fishes it out of her pocket and stares down at the gem glittering there in the moonlight streaming in through her window. It's tainted now, taunting her with false promises and everything that happened as a result of her trusting little heart.
With a yell, she throws it hard at the far wall, and listens to it clink against it before landing on the floor by her bedroom door. An action that was supposed to make her feel better.
It doesn't.
After that, she finally settles. Curls up under her blanket, as Tuk Tuk does the same to her and tries oh so valiantly to do the job her angry lashing out had failed to do for her. Time ticks by until she eventually succumbs to sleep, unaware of whether her father has even returned to their home yet and too shamed to go look.
Raya is twelve, the first time she cries herself to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Warmth is the thing that wakes her, rushing unpleasantly from the back of her skull to the tips of her toes. It tingles, uncomfortable and familiar, reminding her strongly of how she felt when Namaari first looked her way.
A remembrance she could quite easily do without, tinging the back of her tongue with a bitterness that may or may not be imagined.
Raya attempts to hide further into her bed, hiding her from the day she is going to have to face at some point. Her father is probably home by now, though with no sign of him having checked on her at any point in the night, she cannot say for sure. Sunlight streams in from the window, offensive and bright and too much for her tired self to deal with at the moment. She remains hiding for long moments, until awakeness claims her enough to force her notice of something...
The sun is on the wrong side of her bed.
The covers over her are heavy, and not the ones she is used to. Plush, and padded, and nothing like the light blanket she prefers to sleep under. A realisation that pales brightly against the view that greets her when she succeeds at shoving them off and away - this is not her bedroom.
This is not her bed.
This is not her home.
Pushing herself up out of the bed she has found herself in, Raya moves to the mirror across the room and surveys herself in it; only just managing not to give in to the shocked scream that threatens to break free from lungs that she now knows do no belong to her.
This is not her body.
Raya is twelve, when she wakes up in a strange kingdom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Crumbling by the mirror, Raya stares at the body there watching right back at her - the same one she had unabashedly stared at the previous day. Under admittedly very different circumstances.
The body of the traitor.
The one who broke her trust and her heart, long before Raya had even realised she'd handed both of them over so easily, too easily. Namaari, with her stupid smile, and her stupid hair, and without her stupid necklace. No, that's lying somewhere on the floor in Raya's room, miles from here. Miles from her.
She's not stupid. She knows what this means, and what it means for her and Namaari.
It seems the universe likes to play jokes, and cruel ones at that. Last night she had wanted a punishment to make herself feel better; now that she's gotten one, her feelings have changed.
Why couldn't Ba just have yelled at her?
It would have been so much better than this. She's trapped here now, in a foreign kingdom - one that had just decided to make itself the enemy of her own. An action that she - inadvertently or otherwise - assisted them with doing.
A punishment to fit the crime.
The humourless thought is no comfort, and she distracts herself by raising a hand to run across the shaved section of her-- Namaari's head. It feels rough against her fingers, and entirely foreign. A bizzare fashion choice, and one that had intrigued her initially. Less intriguing now, that she's confronted with it so intimately.
And it does feel nice, in a weird kind of way.
A thought she doesn't get much time to dwell on, when the door to the room is swung open - and in walks Virana, clicking her tongue as she scans over Raya sitting in front of the mirror. She halts there by the door, leaning on the staff in her hand and appraising her not-daughter disapprovingly.
"You're late. I didn't raise you to be sloppy, Nami."
Raya freezes, unable to will herself to answer even if she wanted to. Not in the face of the woman responsible for all the calamity that rained down on her people. The one who most likely sent her daughter to do her dirty work for her, and playing Raya in the process.
Well, they're both in for a surprise this morning.
Regardless of her reservations towards the other woman, Raya is aware of the customs and duties both their people are bound to by martial law - namely, that Virana has a duty to respect and assist any youth in the unfortunate situation of being stranded by a soul bond.
And in this situation, that means Raya. The girl inhabiting the body of Virana's daughter.
It also helps that Virana's own daughter is likely back in Raya's home in Heart, under the watch of the people who they just committed an attempted coup against. Standing up on her feet - no, not her feet, very much not her own feet - Raya does her best to stand tall against the look being sent her way by the Chief of Fang. No matter the fear and uncertainty that continues to plague her not-body.
"I'm... not Namaari."
Virana stares hard at her, so very hard, that Raya has to force herself not to flinch. It takes time for her words to register, watching a myriad of emotions work their way across the face of the imposing figure still standing by the bedroom door. Until she cracks, the first time Raya has ever seen her look anything bar smug or affronted.
"Not Namaari? Then who--" The words cut off, confusion warring hard with recognition, until she gives way to outright shock - trying to hide it, but it's already been seen. "...Raya?"
"Yep. Raya. Not Namaari."
Repeating the words, like they're going to help in anyway, Raya remains standing in her pose by the mirror and tries not to give away how much this whole... everything has shaken her. The fact she's not the only one shaken does not escape her notice, watching as Virana scans over her once more, before a heavy sigh is breathed and a hand lifted to pinch hard against a nose in restraint.
"I hope your father is in a humourous mood this morning, because I can assure you that I am most certainly not."
Turning to leave, Virana directs a command to the guards out in the hall just past the door to the room.
"Two of you, in here now. Watch her, and don't let her leave. I have a message to send."
Without much further ado, Virana struts off out of the room - just as two guards place themselves by the door, effectively locking her in. Nothing much more happens, Raya being imprisoned in a room that does not belong to her as the day dwindles down. A couple times, someone shows up to the room with a plate of food for her, usually when the guards by the door switch their watch with each other - the same handful of guards switching around with each other, presumably to reduce those aware of what has transpired.
Virana doesn't reappear until day has long broken to night again, standing stoically by the door and not venturing any closer.
"I have contacted your father, and requested he meet us on neutral ground with Namaari in two days in order to complete an exchange. You will remain here until we depart."
With that she exits once more. There is no pomp, nor circumstance; and the guards at the door remain the same handful as have the entire day, swapping periodically with one another and standing watch over her diligently.
Raya is twelve, when she waits to go back home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The journey out of Fang had been rough and jostling, Raya up on horseback and tethered to the mount ridden by Virana. Unfamiliarity with the woman in charge of her means it's hard to say for sure, but she almost seems nervous, the reasoning as to why not too difficult to discern - concern for her daughter currently in the hands of an enemy Virana had created for herself.
Any good treatment Raya has received can easily be attributed to a hope of paying forward goodwill. Namely, that Virana hopes the gesture has been returned and, in doing so, Namaari will be returned to her easily and unharmed.
Raya breathes a sigh of relief and happiness upon their encroaching of the location arranged for the trade, spying her father pacing in the distance. By his side, stands herself - or, not quite. Seeing her own body standing stiffly by his side, shoulders slumped in the same fashion Raya recognises as the way Namaari had continuously resorted to during their first meeting, is strange and unpleasant.
She pointedly ignores the twinge in her chest that tugs her in the direction of the other girl, standing dutifully by her father's side as he allows his nervousness to project.
He's limping slightly even as he paces back and forth, a reminder of what exactly had happened between their people during their last cursed meeting with one another.
Virana makes a point of being the first to dismount, moving around to place a hand on Raya's shoulder possessively when she falls down clumsily from her own horse. Not appreciated is the fact she tugs Raya with her, approaching her Ba hesitantly as the guards with them move to position themselves loosely behind the two of them and staring down the forces from Heart.
She moves to push forward out of the grasp on her shoulder and head towards her father, and is held back. With barely restrained anger, Raya turns her glare up at Virana who meets it evenly.
"Stay here. Your father and I have things to discuss."
Raya is about to argue, about to force her way out of the grip on her, until she notices her Ba turn his attention to Namaari by his own side - leaning down into her space slightly, hands placed on her shoulders in the familiar comforting way he often does to Raya. Something is spoken between the two of them, before Namaari nods up at him in an unsteady and definitively jittery way.
Only when she stays put, does Raya do the same - allowing their parents to move and meet in the middle of their anxious and impromptu meeting with one another.
Tense seconds pass between them both as they stand there regarding the other, before Ba is the one to break it, an attempt at mirth in his voice that doesn't quite catch correctly.
Virana is not the only nervous one, evidently.
"Chief Virana. I wish I could say it is nice to see you again, but I'm afraid that is not the case thanks to your efforts."
He bows to her, a gesture that does well to mitigate the tension settled amongst them all. One that is met equally, Virana dipping in greeting to him and offering what may be the first spark of true accommodation between the two kingdoms.
"I appreciate you meeting with me so easily, Chief Benja. And I thank you for looking after my daughter, as I have done in return for you."
The formality drops after this, Ba straightening up to scan over Virana standing directly in front of him once more. Now is not the time to dwell on past wrongdoings; other, more pressing issues requiring addressing between them both.
"This is not how I predicted us next meeting one another."
"Nor I."
"What would you suggest be our next steps from here? As much as I wish it so, we cannot simply ignore the implications of us being here with one another."
At this, her Ba directs his gaze in Raya's direction, hesitating there before focusing again on Virana.
It's not until Virana's own attention flicks Raya's way, that she has the first settling of proper disease on her shoulders since they set out for this meeting. When the focus shifts from her, to Namaari standing far away with the guards from Heart, back to her father, she knows something new and scary is about to transpire here.
"I have thought about it. Ever since your daughter informed me of her presence in my home, in fact."
"Oh? And what may that be?"
Virana sighs, a heavy thing and entirely discomforting as she does so. "It seems our kingdoms are fated to be joined together. If it would please you, I suggest we make it official - and arrange for our daughters to be wed, once they come of age."
Immediately, anger presses on Raya's shoulders at the insinuation. She's not so young and naive as to not to understand what the comment means - binding her to the girl who had broken what little they had forged with one another.
She calls out against it in outrage, just as Namaari does the same across the sand from her. It's humbling in its own right, having something in common with one another once more.
And, again, their eyes meet.
Neither of them are happy about what has just been proposed, and Raya is only further insulted by her father's decided lack of disagreement at the suggestion.
He hums, deep in thought and ignoring the arguments being tossed their way by both girls. Hand to his chin, in that way he always has while thinking, and Raya can almost hear the wheels of thought churning and chugging away as he ponders.
Raya doesn't miss the way Namaari moves to cross the distance to their parents, and is firmly halted by the hand of Raya's own personal guards grasping firmly into her and keeping her from doing so.
Also not missed is the odd way her heart tugs, at the dismissal of being tied to her being communicated clearly from the other princess occupying her body.
It hurts, and she's not entirely sure why.
Silence deafens them all as her Ba remains in thought, and she need not wonder why - such a proposal, and the underlying alliance implied, would be the first step to truly bringing Kumandra into a reality.
"It would do much to satisfy the... discontent amongst our peoples thanks to your actions."
Virana hums herself at the comment, dissent easily interpreted from her and with no right to it. Fang very much did lead the charge in the coup to relinquish Heart's hold on the Dragon Gem... but her Ba has always been the forgiving type. The type to push for change, for betterment, even in the face of adversary.
And, apparently, even in the face of his own daughter's disapproval.
No one moves, or says, or does anything while he thinks. A painful position, especially for Raya - and, perhaps, Namaari too; who is held back from moving by the hold the guard from Heart has on her.
"Very well. I agree, the girls will be wed - and with it, our kingdoms finally joined in peace."
Her Ba moves towards Virana, the two shaking hands and sealing their decision so easily, as if it's not their fates they are playing with. And truly, it is not - it's Raya's fate.
Raya's, and Namaari's.
A thought that once again tinges her tongue with bitterness, and causes her heart to tug in weird and reprehensible ways.
Numb, she allows Virana to move towards her and pull her towards her Ba in the centre - just as the same is done to Namaari. Where Raya wants to scream, and kick, and cry... Namaari is silent.
Her shoulders are slumped once more, more than they ever have before, tugged up towards her ears as both of their parents stare expectantly down towards them both. In a last act of betrayal, Namaari does not even look Raya in the eye when she reaches out and finally takes a hold of her.
Raya is twelve, when Namaari takes her hand and bonds their souls fully.