Chapter Text
"Stop hitting me!"
"I don't think so." Dream chuckles teasingly as he continues to smack his best friend. It's been two hours now since the two started playing minecraft. The bright blue numbers on his clock at his desk show that the time is 10.05. Dream's eyes are strained and his back is slightly aching from the hunched position he's been in for way too long. The rain outside his window has ceased. He doesn't remember when that happened. Different shades of deep orange and pink color the seemingly never-ending sky. Dream closes his eyes for just a moment to let the stillness overtake him. He breathes in the stuffy summer air and exhales deeply. For just a moment, he doesn't hear or see anything. Is this what sensory deprivation feels like? A loud wail wakes Dream up from his day-dream just night-dream he corrects himself.
"DREAAAM!", George screams. Dream can hear the wide smirk he has without even looking at his picture.
"What, George?", Dream asks mimicking George's voice with a wide smile across his face.
"Where the heck were you?"
"I was right here, just zoned out for a bit." George hums in response. After a bit of silence, he mumbles silently "I'm not gonna say that".
"Say what?"
"The chat wants me to tell you...um..." A smirk shows up in Dream's face when he realizes what George is trying to say.
"That you looove me, Georgie?", he utters with a tone he knows irritates George.
"Well, as I said, I'm not saying it", George repeats with the tone in his voice that declares 'end of discussion'. Dream isn't going to let George of the hook that easy. He turns his minecraft character to stare deep into George's eyes.
"Why can't you say it? I've said it: I love you George. Just please, say it back."
"I hate you, happy?"
"I know you love me", Dream utters knowing damn well it will be clipped and sent to him on every social media platform. He turns to look at George's picture on his computer. His face looks a bit flushed. Probably from irritation. Dream lets himself play with the idea that he's blushed because he has some sort of feelings for him. George's voice cuts his thoughts:"You guys need to accept that I don't have feelings for Dream and neither does he. We're just friends, right Dream?" The serious tone in his voice surprises Dream so much so that he doesn't even think of a funny answer to tease George with.
"Of course we are", Dream mumbles without a hint of tease in his voice. Patches jumps to his lap with a loud meow spooking him. Another meow leaves his cat. "You want some food?", Dream whispers and strokes the cat slowly. "MEOW".
"Okay, Patches needs to be fed and I'm starting to get pretty tired. I'm gonna end the stream." George groans at the words but tells him goodnight. After thanking the stream and saying bye, Dream shuts his computer and leaves his desk. All this sitting is really not good for him. His vision is blurry as he stretches his back and rolls his head from side to side hearing loud cracks. Patches pushes against his shin urging him to get her some food. "Fine fine", Dream affirms out loud. After giving Patches her extra-expensive food, Dream sits down on his couch to look outside the window. It's not too dark outside and the heat from the day has eased a bit. The palm trees sway gently behind some of the houses. A silent wind blows through the open window and it feels as if it's saying 'come here'. After a few seconds of consideration, Dream decides to go for a late night stroll. His mum had been urging him to get some exercise every once in a while. Here you go mum.
The air is soft outside. It feels like a warm hug. Dream breathes in and out a couple of times before making his way towards the beach. The walk isn't too long, it only takes 15 minutes to get to the beach. Dream doesn't regret not bringing his phone. It feels like a huge relief to spend some time off of social media. His mind feels more clear and he's more aware of his body. Dream can already hear the sound of the waves and smell the deliciously salty air. The quiet shrieking of sea gulls fills his head with memories of the times when he came here with his family. First, the whole family. Then one by one the amount of people who had the energy to come see him subsided. Dream hasn't seen his family for months now. First he thought they were just busy, but then more unsettling thoughts took over. You did something wrong. They don't want to see you, no one does. You don't deserve to be with anyone. Just accept the fact that you are not enough. Deep down he knows that these thoughts aren't reality but it's far easier to just believe them. Especially when you're lying in bed in the middle of the night, entertained by nothing but your thoughts. Sometimes he can fight the thoughts and say 'I am enough'. But most of the time he just doesn't have the energy. Then he turns to his trusty friend: pain. It's most of the time the only way he can get some relief. He remembers the first time he intentionally hurt himself. He was 13 and had just come home from school. Some of his mates at school had jokingly critiqued his appearance. 'It's just a joke. Don't take it so seriously", they had said. He had tried to laugh it off but the bad thoughts crept in at night. He felt so convinced that he was the wrong-kind. That he wasn't enough and would never be enough. From somewhere in the back of his mind surfaced the idea that he should somehow punish himself for existing. Just a fingernail could do it at first. He told his mum they were some scratch marks their cat had given him. At some point, they weren't enough anymore. It was easy to snatch some of his dad's razor blades. It felt right. It felt like he could finally except the fact that he wasn't good enough. Living alone made it so much easier to do. No more hiding. Nowadays he doesn't do it as often. Some of his scars have actually healed. It's the moments of deep agony and self-hatred that make him do it.
It was starting to get a bit darker. Dream had sat on the beach for god knows how long. He was mesmerized by the steady movement of the waves. There was no one around to give Dream confused or worried looks. He was all alone. Suddenly the feeling of being alone stopped being freeing and turned into sadness and anxious thoughts. That got him to get up and leave. He brushed the cool sand off of his grey baggy shorts and started walking back home. After barely 5 minutes of walking, Dream got a weird feeling of being followed. At first he tried to brush it off as his usual nervousness but then it became impossible to ignore. He stopped dead on his tracks and looked around. There were no people around. Just when he was about to continue walking, he saw it. A black car behind one of the red houses. It looked as if the car was waiting for him to make a move. The headlights weren't on but he could see the shape of a driver staring at him. Dream's whole body went numb and his heart started beating 100 miles per hour. He couldn't move. He tried to tell his legs to cooperate but they wouldn't budge. He's probably just waiting for someone. You're okay. Just breathe. But when he tried to inhale, his breath hitched. A whole new set of panicky thoughts rose to the surface. You're gonna pass out. You'll die. You don't have your phone. There's no one who'll help you. Dream heard the sound of a car door being opened. He mentally shouted at his feet to move and a miracle happened: they started taking him away from the car. Dream started running as fast as he could which was more than difficult because he couldn't catch a breath. After running for what felt like an eternity, Dream saw his house. He opened the door and collapsed. Everything was black.