Archive of Our Own

Buck’s favorite part of training was target practice, McGarrett style, and he was looking forward to it all week. Their team was on a training mission in the mountains and this was the first time that Buck really struggled. He has never been so tired in his entire life. It felt like his energy was sucked right out of him. His fingertips and toes on his right side had been tingling for weeks now. Not all the time, but enough to annoy him. His vision swam occasionally, like he was staring too hard at something. And he kicked his husband in his sleep a couple of times.

With target practice, Buck finally had the chance to just lie down. Steve was sitting in a camping chair with his binoculars, looking at their target three klicks away.

“Wolf is sitting on two pair, looking for the boat.” Steve said to them and Wolf took a shot, hitting another card from the deck that was pinned to the wooden plank.

“Bee, you’ve got three aces. Need one to take Wolf out.”

Buck looked through his telescopic sight, his finger on the trigger. The tingling in his fingers had increased over the day, now spreading through his hand. Buck took aim, prayed that his hand was cooperating and pulled the trigger. Hitting the ace.

“You got it. All right Sam, let’s see what you’ve got.”

Sam took aim and hit the target dead center.

“Ten of spades.” Steve said. “Spade Flush. Not good enough.”

Sam cursed but Buck looked at the cards again.

“Smooth Dog, isn’t that a straight flush?”

Steve looked through the binoculars again. “Hold the phone.” Steve counted the cards. “Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of spades. Straight flush, indeed!”

They took a short break and Buck was shaking out his hand. The tingling increased even more.

“You okay, kid?” Hondo asked beside him.

All eyes were on him. Great.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I think I have a pinched nerve in my elbow.” He tried to reassure his teammates.

“Or maybe you’ve got carpal tunnel from all the jerking off you’re doing, since you’ve been away from Eddie.” Stiles smirked at him from his other side.

Buck flipped him off. “As if you’re any better. If we reach the land of cell service again, I’m gonna send Derek a picture of your crusted socks.”

The team laughed as Stiles and Buck bickered back and forth.

“Kiddies, quiet down. Hondo, show me what you’ve got.” Steve commanded and picked the binoculars up again.

When it was Buck’s turn again, he took aim at the ten of spades, pulled the trigger. Or he tried to at least. His hand started to shake so badly the shot he did manage to take went nowhere near their target. Buck hissed and sat back on his haunches, shaking out his hand and massaging the palm. Buck noticed that the tingling in his toes had already spread to his calf.

Steve stood up and came over to him. He knelt in front of Buck and took Buck’s hand in his.

“You sure you’re okay, Bee?” Steve asked, his face serious.

“Yeah. I think I pinched something, when I was playing with Christopher last week. It got a little rough.” Steve looked at Buck intently. He was trying to see if Buck was lying. He must’ve seen something in Buck’s eyes, as he dropped the younger man’s hand and stood up.

“If it doesn’t get any better in a couple of days, you go to a doctor. You got it?” Steve said seriously and pinned Buck with a “Don’t try me”-look.

“Yes, sir.” Buck threw him a sloppy salute.

Buck took a deep breath. He noticed that the tingling was getting better. Only the fingertips and toes still continued to tingle. He resumed his position in front of his riffle. Stiles snapped his finger and Buck looked over to his best friend. They had a silent communication with their eyes only.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

“You may be able to bullshit, Steve, but you can’t bullshit me.”

They went back to practice. Buck had to concentrate so hard, he started to get a really bad headache, that could turn into a full blown migraine. His eyes just won’t clear. It didn’t matter how much he kept rubbing them. It’s like he had a constant film over his eyes. They practiced for another hour before Steve called it. They packed up and made their way back to camp. Halfway there, Buck stumbled over a tree root that stuck out of the earth and almost fell flat on his face, if it weren’t for Stiles’ fast reflexes catching him.

Everyone shot him concerned looks.

“There must be something in the air.”

***

“Something is wrong with him.” Steve began, looking at a sleeping Evan. As soon as they all piled into the Bus, to take them back to base, Evan fell asleep with his head resting on Stiles’s shoulder. “I can feel it.”

“He fumbled when he put together the small charge to blow up that rock formation.” Hondo continued, also looking in concern toward their young members.

Evan and Stiles enlisted together and instantly clicked. They were like two hyperactive spazzes in a pod. If you found one, you found the other. Both of them worked incredibly well together. Evan wasn’t only their demolitions expert on the team, he was also the best sniper. Buck was fast and swift; you never saw him coming. His bullets stung like a “Bee”. Stiles was their mastermind behind all their missions, but he was also Evan’s spotter. For all of Stiles hyper activeness, he was incredibly observant. He didn’t miss anything. He was also an exceptional fighter. He was deadly in hand to hand combat. Even Steve had trouble winning a fight against him. That’s how he got the call sign “Wolf” and because he was from Beacon Hills, with its unusual Wolf activities.

“He couldn’t connect the wires to the charge. I noticed too.” Sam added.

“We’ll keep an eye on him.”

***

“Soooo…” Stiles began and Buck groaned. “How long has that been going on?”

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” Buck refused to look at his best friend. He continued to stare out the window, watching the scenery go by, as Stiles drove them off base and towards his house.

“Come on, Evan. It’s me.” Stiles said softly. “You never fumble when you’re placing explosives. Your aim is always steady and on point. And you look exhausted. What is going on? Is everything okay at home?”

Buck’s eyes start to fill with tears. He still refused to look at his best friend.

“Everything is fine at home.”

“Then what is it?”

“I don’t know.” Buck’s voice cracked at the end. He didn’t know why he was so emotional all of a sudden. He was exhausted. His vision was back to normal, like nothing happened yesterday during target practice. But his right side continued to tingle.

Buck sniffled. “It’s just…I’m exhausted. I am so tired. I haven’t been this tired since Hell Week and BUD/S. My vision gets blurry sometimes and my right side tingles. The fingertips and toes mostly, sometimes the hand and calf. Maybe I have a herniated disc.”

“In your neck and lower back? Aren’t you a little young for that?” Stiles asked, his brain already going in all kinds of directions. He has some research to do.

“Not really. When we took Christopher to an orthopedic surgeon because of his shortened tendons, there was a twelve-year-old girl with two lumbar disk herniations. It was so bad she had to have surgery. So no, you’re never too young for that.” Buck explained. It wasn’t impossible to have to herniated disks, but both of them on the right side, at the same time? And the blurred vision? The occasional cramping of his leg? Buck didn’t want to admit it, but he was too scared to find out what was wrong with him. The longer he stayed in denial, the longer he could pretend that there was nothing wrong with his brain.

Stiles hummed and concentrated on the road again. They were almost at Buck’s house. 

“Have you told Eddie about it?” He asked after a minute.

“No.” Buck replied quietly. “I don’t want to worry him. It’s probably just nothing.”

Stiles wasn’t sure who Evan tried to reassure more.

“You need to get it checked out, Bee. It doesn’t sound like nothing.”

Buck only nodded. They arrived at the Diaz residence and Stiles parked the Jeep curbside. Buck got out of the car and pulled his stuff from the back seat. Buck gave Stiles through the open passenger side window a fist bump and turned to head to his house.

“See ya, Bee.”

“See ya, Wolf. I’ll pick you up at eight tomorrow.”

Stiles pulled away and drove the couple of blocks to his and Derek’s house. They often carpooled to work and took turns picking each other up.

Eddie’s car wasn’t in the driveway. Which meant he was still at work. Eddie was in between jobs right now. He retired from the Army as an active combat medic a couple of months ago and applied to the Academy to become a paramedic/firefighter. To help with the bills, Eddie worked part-time as an instructor to train combat medics in the Army.

Buck let himself into the house, dropped his bag by the door and threw the keys into a bowl by the door. The house was quiet, his son probably at a playdate. Buck heaved a big sigh. Even after his nap on the bus, he was still tired. He lay down on the couch and thought he could close his eyes for a couple of minutes, let his eyes rest a bit. As soon as his eyes were closed, he fell asleep.

***

Eddie parked the truck in the driveway. Earlier, he received a text from Steve that they were back on base. He hadn’t seen his husband in two weeks. Every couple of months Steve took his team deep into the mountains for training missions.

Eddie got out and helped Christopher down. He gathered their things, locked up the car and made their way to the door. When they were inside, he saw Buck’s bag still by the door. He noticed that the house was quiet. He could see his husband’s boots, who were hanging over the side of the couch. Eddie frowned. Normally Evan would clean the house or cook a five course meal to calm down after returning from training. His husband was like the energizer bunny.

“Christopher, go to your room.” Eddie whispered and handed his son his backpack.

“But I wanna say Hi to daddy.” Christopher whined.

“I know, but he’s taking a nap. He’s probably tired from training. You know how your uncle Steve gets.”

Christopher giggled.

“He’s an animal.” Christopher quipped. The boy gave one last yearning look towards the couch, sighed and went to his room.

Eddie watched his son go and when he heard the bedroom door snick shut, he went to his husband. He peered over the couch and saw Evan lying on his side, one hand tucked under his head. Eddie came around and crouched in front of his husband. He just looked at him. Evan looked tired. He had dark circles around his eyes. Something was going on with him. Eddie noticed that Evan constantly checked his fingers and rubbed his eyes. Normally Evan was a deep sleeper. He didn’t move around in bed at night. But in the last couple of weeks Evan’s leg kicked out, like he was cramping. So Eddie bought him magnesium tablets and kept an eye on him.

Every time Eddie looked at his husband he couldn’t believe his luck. Couldn’t believe that they’ve been together for ten years and raising a tiny genius together. Eddie reached out a hand and stroked Evan’s birthmark tenderly with a finger. His husband was the most beautiful human being he had ever seen. Evan was kind, genuine, selfless, badass, smart, strong, beautiful and soooo sexy. When people asked them how they stayed so deeply in love even after ten years together, Evan always said, that their love was like Claire and Jamie Fraser’s love from Diana Gabaldon’s “Outlander”-Series. Timeless. Forever. All-consuming. Soulmates.

Eddie’s finger traced Evan’s dark circles and then stroked up and down his nose. Evan’s face scrunched up adorably and one eye opened.

“Hey, baby.” Eddie whispered. Evan smiled at his husband.

“Heeeey. I’ve missed you.” Eddie took Evan’s chin between his fingers, leaned in and kissed his husband softly. Evan gave a satisfied hum. He opened his lips and Eddie’s tongue slipped inside, gently caressing his husband’s.

Eventually they had to come up for air. “We missed you too, carino. How was training?”

“It was good. I got to blow stuff up and showed the guys up at target practice, like always.” Evan answered.

He sat up and Eddie took the empty spot beside his husband and put his arm around him. Evan leaned heavily against him, resting his head on the older man’s shoulder. His hands playing with Eddie’s fingers, toying with the silver wedding ring.

“You look tired. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.” Evan quickly avoided his eyes. Eddie instantly knew that his husband was lying. “Steve just drilled us more than usual.”

Evan was clearly not ready to talk about whatever was bothering him. On the outside his husband looked fine, so Eddie decided not to say anything for now. He’s just going to keep a closer eye on him.

“I’m going to say Hi to our son.” Evan gave him one last kiss, padded his hand and got up to go to Christopher’s room.

***

2 weeks later

“Seriously, she looks like a garden gnome. She keeps popping up around base.” Sam said to Hondo and Steve in exasperation, while they cleaned their equipment. They were sitting outside in the shade, watching Buck and Stiles running drills together.

“Do you know what she wants?” Steve asked.

“She offered me a job as a Special Agent with NCIS in Los Angeles at the Office for Special Projects. She has a hot headed agent who needs a zen like partner.”

“And she thinks you’re zen like? Has she met you?” Hondo asked in disbelief. He shared a look with Steve and both burst out laughing.

“Oh shut up you two. I don’t see you two getting job offers left and right.”

“Well, actually…” Hondo looked at his teammates.

“Dish.” Steve commanded.

“LAPD SWAT offered me a team.”

“I feel like the universe is trying to tell us something. The governor of Hawaii offered me my own task force.”

“No fucking way. What are the odds?” Hondo was stunned. They were all stunned.

“Are you considering it? Are we considering it? Retiring from the Navy?” Sam asked them.

They looked over to their youngest members. It looked like they were done running drills and were currently play fighting each other. The senior members all laughed at them fondly.

Steve was still concerned about Buck. They all were. In the last two weeks since they came back from training, they noticed that Buck occasionally dropped things and his right leg seemed to be cramping. But every time they asked him about it, he said he was fine. So far nothing bad happened, but Steve had a feeling it was only a matter of time before something did happen.

“We’re in no rush. Even if we did retire our Team from active duty, we all still have contracts.” Steve answered for them.

***

“Daddy, do you think uncle Steve can teach me how to get myself out of handcuffs?” Christopher was reading an article about the military police. His son had the same affinity for research binges and random facts as him.

“Why? Do you plan on getting arrested any time soon? Do I need to smash my piggy bank?” Evan asked him and Christopher giggled.

“No need to smash it, daddy. Uncle Steve promised me to teach me how to pick locks.”

Evan looked at his son with a smirk. Eddie was pulling his hair out, because Steve sneakily taught their son things he didn’t need to know about yet. Chris was only six years old, but Steve was of the opinion, that they’re never too young to learn sneaky things. Most of the stuff Steve taught Chris was harmless though.

“You spent too much time with uncle Steve, baby. Can you -“ Something was wrong. He wanted to ask Christopher to pass him the saran wrap to cover the salad he made for the team BBQ. But he couldn’t form the words. He knew what he wanted, but he couldn’t articulate it.

He suddenly couldn’t see what was in front of him. His breathing started to pick up. His whole right side suddenly tingled too. He rubbed his eyes, but they wouldn’t clear. No, no, no, this couldn’t be happening. Not now.

“Daddy, are you okay? What do you need?” Christopher looked at his dad in concern.

Evan whipped his head around. His vision cleared and the tingling receded.

“Uhm.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah, I’m fine, baby. I just thought I forgot something. Can you pass me the saran wrap, please?”

“You’re a bad liar, daddy.” Christopher passed him the wrap. Evan almost dropped it.

“What?” He squeaked out.

“You have a tell. Uncle Steve taught me that. When you lie, you avoid eye contact and look down. Also your right eye twitches when you lie.”

“Yeah, you spent way too much time with him. I’m okay though, Chris. Don’t worry.” Evan kissed his son’s forehead and continued to prep for the BBQ.

Eddie was outside setting up the backyard.

Right before the team was due to arrive, Evan’s symptoms flared up again. His vision blurred and his right side tingled more and more. It wasn’t just his fingertips and toes anymore. Now it was the whole leg and arm. They’ve been tingling for days now. His leg spasmed more and more now too. Evan knew he couldn’t avoid it any longer. He needed to make a doctor’s appointment. He only hoped he could get through the day without anyone noticing.

Evan didn’t know how he could fool anyone for as long as he did. They ate their food like nothing was wrong with him. It was a good thing that he knew the way around his house, so he didn’t have to explain to anyone, that he actually couldn’t see that well. 

After they finished eating, Evan got up to clear the table. At that exact moment a few things happened at once. Evan’s leg started to cramp, the tingling increased another notch and he got so dizzy, that the world turned upside down. He tried to reach for the table, but he missed it by a mile and fell to the ground.  

“Baby…” Eddie said and ran to his husband.

“DADDY!”

Everyone sprang into action to help Evan.

“Oh my god, Bee, are you okay?”

Evan groaned.

“Evan, honey, what’s wrong?”

“I…I…” Evan knew what he wanted to say, but the words wouldn’t come out. He didn’t know where to look, because suddenly there were too many blurry shapes. “Some…uh…someth’ng is no’ rig’” He slurred out.

“He had the same problem earlier.” Christopher called. He stayed on the bench, but he looked frightened. “When I asked what was wrong, he said he was fine, but I knew he was lying. He had a tell.”

“You’re a smart cookie, kid. I taught you well.” Steve praised as he kneeled at Evan’s head, cushioning his head on his thigh. He looked at Stiles, who was deep in thought.

“What is it, Stiles?” He asked. Stiles looked at Steve, then at Eddie and then at Evan. He seemed to be conflicted on how much to reveal to the rest.

Evan threw a pleading look in Stiles general direction. He had tears in his eyes and it tore at Stiles’ heart, but his best friend’s health was more important.

“I’m sorry, Bee. He thought he had herniated disks. His right side tingles, his vision is sometimes blurry, he drops things and he is a constant state of exhaustion.”

“Stiles, pl-please s-s-sto-stop.” Evan pleaded with him, tears streaming down his face. Eddie looked concerned, guilty and angry at the same time. Stiles didn’t know someone could look like that.

Derek fished out his cell phone, squeezed his husbands hand and said he would call 9-1-1. He took a seat beside Christopher and put an arm around him, while he called for the ambulance. Christopher leaned heavily against his side, while still keeping an eye on his dads.

“No, Bee. You’re my best friend and I told you to get it checked out.”

Evan struggled to sit up, but everyone told him to stay down.

“Buck, I know there’s something wrong, we all noticed. But we were waiting for you to come to us.” Steve said to the younger man, as he carded his fingers through his hair and Buck closed his eyes. “Now the decision is out of your hands. You’re going to the hospital.”

“We noticed you had trouble on our training mission, when you couldn’t connect the wire’s to the C4, kid.” Hondo said to Evan.

“And you never miss a shot, Bee. Never! But whatever it is, you’re not alone.” Sam said and patted Buck’s trembling leg. The younger man’s face scrunched up and more tears flowed down his cheeks. They could hear the sirens getting closer.

Sam got up, to let the paramedics in.

Eddie bent down to his husband and kissed his forehead and cheek, everywhere he could reach him and gently stroked his hair.

“You’re going to be okay, sweetheart.” Eddie whispered reassuringly. They didn’t know who Eddie tried to convince more, Evan or himself.

When the paramedics arrived a flurry of activity began. They got Evan on a backboard, put on a neck brace, inserted IV’s and Stiles described his symptoms to them.

Stiles turned around to his husband and Derek nodded at him.

“Go with him, I’ll stay with Chris.”

“But I wanna go with daddy.” Christopher cried. Eddie went to his son and kneeled in front of him, taking his little hands in his.

“I know you do, baby. But I need you to stay here with uncle Derek, please.” Christopher was shaking his head.

“Eddie.” Evan called. The older man turned around and Evan motioned for them to come to him, so Eddie took Christopher in his arms and carried him to his husband.

Evan reached out a finger and ran it down his son’s hand.

“I-I’m g-g-going…to be f-f-fine, baby.” What Evan couldn’t say out loud, he tried to say with his eyes and after a moment Christopher seemed to get the message.

“I love you, daddy.” Christopher bent down and gave his daddy a kiss on the cheek, then he turned to his uncle Steve.

“Are you going with my daddy, uncle Steve?” Steve nodded seriously. “Will you keep him safe?”

Steve held out his pinky to favorite nephew. “I promise, buddy. I’ll look after him.” Christopher linked his pinky with his uncle’s.

“I’ll call you as soon as I can, okay, baby?” Christopher nodded as Eddie kissed his cheek, then he got transferred into Derek’s arms. “Be good for uncle Derek. I love you.”

“I love you too, dad.”

Derek bent down to kiss his husband, then watched as they all followed Evan out the door.

“So, what do you say we clean up here and then I’m going to teach you how to silently sneak up on uncle Stiles like a Wolf?”

Christopher giggled at Derek and threw his arms around him in a hug.

***

The ambulance arrived at the hospital and Evan was whisked away immediately, so that left with Eddie filling out hospital forms and carving a hole into the floor.

“Eddie sit down; you’re making everyone nervous.” Steve said to him. Eddie looked at Evan’s commander for a moment before he relented and sat down with a sigh.

Eddie scrubbed a hand over his face.

“We should’ve said something, should’ve done something.” Sam said to no one in particular.

“There’s nothing we could’ve done.” Stiles answered. “If we had pressed the issue, Buck would’ve shut down completely. You all know how stubborn he is.”

Everyone looked at Eddie in concern. Buck’s husband just sat there, staring into the void, like he was not there. They could see Eddie’s eyes slowly fill with tears, until they spilled over his cheeks.

“I can’t lose him.” Eddie choked out. “Worst case scenario is that he had a stroke or has a brain tumor.”

“Both of which can be treated, Eddie.” Hondo reassured him. They were all worried about Evan, but tried to be positive. “Bee is a fighter. He is one of the best. He will pull through.”

“Have you called Maddie?” Sam asked Eddie.

“No, she’s on vacation. She’s doing the whole “Eat, Pray, Love”-experience after the divorce. She’s currently in an ashram in India, there’s no reaching her. And I don’t want to worry her. Let’s just wait until we know what’s wrong with Evan.”

After an hour of waiting, Sam and Hondo were called back to base for an emergency. It killed them to leave, but Steve ordered them to with the promise to call them the minute there was news about Buck.

“Buck is a tough cookie, Eddie. He’ll be fine.” Steve squeezed Eddie’s shoulder.

“He got shot at, crushed by a Humvee and survived a pulmonary embolism. He’s like a cat with nine lives.” Stiles said from Eddie’s other side and took Eddie’s hand in his.

“I hope you’re right. I can’t imagine my life without him.”

A couple of hours later they were finally approached by a doctor.

“Family of Evan Diaz?”

Eddie stood up and shook the doc’s hand. “I’m Eddie Diaz. Evan is my husband. Is he okay?”

“Mr. Diaz, I’m Doctor Kessler, I’m your husband’s neurologist. Would you please come with me? I’ll take you to see him.” The doctor motioned for him to follow.

Eddie turned around to Stiles and Steve, they motioned for him to go with the doctor.

“Go to him, Eddie. We’ll wait.” Eddie nodded and followed the doc through the double doors, out of the ER and into a corridor, where it was immediately quieter.

“So what’s wrong with him? Did he have a stroke?” Eddie asked anxiously.

“No, Mr. Diaz-“

“Please call me Eddie.”

Dr. Kessler smiled at him. “Eddie, when your husband arrived here, we did a full work up. We asked him about his symptoms, we’ve drawn blood, did a MRI and a spinal tab.”

The doctor lead Eddie to a small waiting room and motioned for him to sit down.

“They paged me after Evan’s results were in…” Dr. Kessler turned the tablet he was holding around and showed Eddie a scan of his husband’s brain. He pointed to some bright, but small discolorations. “The discoloration you’re seeing here are called lesions. They occur when there’s continuous damage to the myelin sheath of the axon’s. An axon is the connection between the neuron and the synapses. The neuron is the nerve cell; the axon is the nerve fiber that transports the electrical signal from the nerve cell to the synapses. The axons are surrounded by a myelin sheath; they protect the fiber. Now if the sheath gets damaged, the nerves misfire so to speak. They can’t effectively conduct electrical signals and that manifest in tingling hands, slurred speech, trembling legs, as it was in Evan’s case. All the tests we did today confirmed the suspicion of the doctor, who first treated your husband.”

“You don’t need to beat around the bush, Dr. Kessler. I’m a combat medic with the Army. Just say it.” Eddie tried to steel himself.

“Evan has multiple sclerosis, Eddie.”

If Eddie weren’t already sitting down, his legs would’ve buckled. He let out a shuddering breath and covered his mouth with his hand in shock. Evan had MS. His beautiful, strong and kind husband had a neurological chronic illness. Eddie’s eyes teared up.

“Have…” Eddie cleared his throat. “Have you told him?”

Dr. Kessler looked at him in sympathy. “Yes, I have. And we’ve already given him the first dose of Interferon. We’re also giving him high doses of cortisone to help his inflamed optic nerve. That should get the blurry vision under control. We’ll set him up with a physical therapist and go over with you both about his meds and his prognosis. Come on, I’ll take you to him.”

“I need to get his CO and best friend in here, they’re outside in the waiting room. They should be here for this.” Eddie was in shock; he didn’t know what to do first.

“I’ll have a nurse fetch them, Eddie. Come on. I’ll take you to your husband.”

Eddie nodded and followed the doctor out of the waiting room. When they came across a nurse, Dr. Kessler asked her to bring Steve and Stiles to Evan’s room.

When they reached Evan’s room, Eddie let out another big breath and steeled himself. Dr. Kessler looked at him and Eddie nodded, motioned for him to open the door.

When the door opened, Evan’s head turned, looking in their direction, but not at them. So his vision was still blurry. His eyes were red rimmed and puffy.

“Sweetheart.” Eddie whispered, his voice sounding broken.

“’ddie.” Evan reached out a hand and Eddie took a couple of big strides, reached for his husband’s hand. He bent down and gently kissed Evan’s forehead.

With his other hand, Eddie gently stroked over Evan’s head.

“I’m here, I’m here, baby. God I was so worried about you. I love you so much.”

“You kno’? ‘N you s-sti’ lov’ me?” Evan whispered.

“I will never stop loving you.” Eddie said and kissed him again. “Nothing can make me stop loving you, not even MS.”

Evan started to cry again. He thought his world was ending when Dr. Kessler gave him his diagnosis and in a sense it did. Everything he worked so hard for and it was over with just two words.

Multiple sclerosis.

He knew it wasn’t a death sentence, he would grow old with this diagnosis, but it sure felt like his life was over.

A sudden thought came to him…his career. He couldn’t be a SEAL anymore. There was no way he could continue like this.

Eddie was still stroking his hair, whispering how much he loved him and how proud he was of him.

Evan looked at him. “Wh-where…i-is Ste-Steve?”

“I’m right here kid.” Steve and Stiles came into the room and the devastation on both their faces told Eddie, that Dr. Kessler told them what was wrong with his husband.

“I’m s’rry.” Evan whispered.

“No, Bee, we’re sorry.” Stiles came to Evan’s other side and took his free hand in his own. “We should’ve said something sooner. It wouldn’t have changed the diagnosis, but we knew there was something wrong with you. Herniated disk my ass.”

“Bu’ the t-t-team.“

„That is not important right now, Buck. You take priority over everything else.” Steve squeezed his calf in reassurance. “You take the meds, you get better, then you do everything the doctors tell you to do. You go on you own googling spree and learn everything there is to know about MS. And you’re not alone. We’ll all be here for you.”

Fresh tears made their way down Evan’s cheek. He didn’t know he still had tears left.

Evan had to stay in the hospital for a couple of days until his symptoms cleared up. His speech was back to normal and so was his sight. The tingling on his right side remained, but was manageable.

His family had been his rock the last couple of days. He got medically discharged from the Navy the week after his diagnosis and when he found out that his whole team was retiring from active duty, Evan completely lost his shit. He screamed and ranted at them, then he went to the gym and punched the heavy bag for so long that his knuckles split. And then he fell into a hole.

It was too much. The diagnosis, dealing with MS, learning that his team was retiring because of him and the fear of the unknown, what would happen to him in the course of his MS progressing, had Evan closing himself off from the world.

He refused to get out of bed. Instead Eddie brought him his meals and meds. Evan only got up to shower.

Eddie didn’t want Christopher to see his daddy like this, so the boy stayed with Stiles and Derek for the time being. Christopher, though extremely worried about his daddy, loved the sleepovers with his uncle Stiles and uncle Derek.

Eddie came into the bedroom and found his husband on his iPad, probably still researching. It had been two weeks since his diagnosis and Eddie was at his wits end. In an act of desperation, he called Dr. Kessler and asked him what he should do about Evan’s depression. The neurologist told him that it was normal for patients to fall into a state of depression after their diagnosis. Evan would most likely have bouts of depressive episodes as his MS progresses. The only thing Eddie could do was to be there for his husband and to catch him when he finally hit the ground.

Evan looked up with tears in his eyes.

“Hey, carino, what’s wrong? Are you hurting?”

Evan shook his head. “No.” He sniffled and Eddie took a seat at the edge of the bed, right by Evan’s hip. “But I read that the lesions leave scars. What if my optic nerve is scaring so much, that I get blind? What if the blurry vision is permanent and I can’t see you anymore? Can’t see our son?” His voice breaks at the end.

Eddie pulled his husband into a tight, reassuring hug.

“If and it’s a big if, sweetheart, if that happens, then I will come so close to you that you can see me.” Eddie pulled out of the embrace and gently stroked his cheek, wiping away the stray tear. “And if that doesn’t help, then you go by touch. If you lose one sense, the others will amplify.” Eddie leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.

After their kiss, their foreheads touched, breathing the same air.

They sprang apart when the door suddenly burst open. There stood Steve with a stern look.

“Get up lazy ass and pack a bag. We’re going camping.”

No one moved. Evan looked disbelievingly at his former CO.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Bee. Pack a bag. If you can lie in bed all day and feel sorry for yourself, you have time to come camping with me.”

Evan looked to his husband and Eddie looked at him. Both stunned.

“Move!” Both startled at Steve’s tone and sprang into action.

Eddie knew there was nothing he could do to stop Steve when he was like that, nor did he want to. Steve would get Evan’s head on straight.

Evan packed his bag, while Eddie packed his meds. And soon after tornado Steve arrived they were in a car and off to wherever Steve had planned for them to go, with only a quick kiss for Eddie.

A week later the doorbell rang. Eddie answered it and found Steve on the other side. Eddie looked at his door handle.

“Is it broken? Since when do you ring the bell?”

Steve looked sheepishly at Eddie and Eddie got suspicious.

“Where’s my husband?”

Eddie looked at Steve’s truck and found his husband sitting on the passenger side, asleep.

“I need help carrying him inside. That fucker is heavy as fuck.”

“And why not just wake him?” Eddie asked, still not moving, his arms crossing before his chest.

“He may not be able to?” Steve looked everywhere but at Eddie.

“Steve!” Eddie hissed. “What did you do with him?”

“I got his head on straight.”

“And screwed his legs up in the process?” Eddie went to the car.

“We went camping.”

“Yeah, I know what your camping means, Steve.” Eddie opened the door and gently woke his husband.

Evan opened his eyes. “Heeeey. I’ve missed you.” He rubbed his eyes.

“Hey, baby, I’ve missed you too.”

“Urgh, how can you still be this disgustingly cute?” Steve rolled his eyes at them fondly.

“Jealousy doesn’t become you, Steven.” Evan turned in the seat and with Steve and Eddie’s help, got out of the car and into the house.

They brought Evan into the bedroom so he could rest some more. Steve said a quick goodbye, with the promise of coming over for a family BBQ with the team on the weekend.

When Steve left, Eddie turned to his husband.

“How was the hike?”

Evan yawned. “It was good. Got my head clear. Got a new perspective.”

“Good, I’m glad. You look better, carino.”

“Yeah, I feel better. Camping McGarrett style was just what I needed.”

Eddie leaned forward and kissed Evan. He peppered his whole face with kisses.

“I love you, Evan. I am so proud to be your husband.”

Evan blushed.

“I love you too, baby. I can’t imagine doing this without you. Your support means more than you can ever imagine.”