Work Text:
Toki walks into Skwisgaar’s room like he’s never been there before - which definitely couldn’t be further from the truth, especially for the reason that he’s here now. But by god, he’s nervous. Nervous to do something he’s done with the blonde a thousand times over - once, thirty-seven times in just a single day - and he feels sweat drip down the back of his neck as he clicks the door shut behind him.
He never thought he’d be lucky enough to end up back in bed with Skwisgaar again - he didn’t even think he’d make it out of captivity, out of the darkness of that basement, and yet here he is, feeling like he's living in a fever dream. Said fever dream is in the form of a blonde guitar god, who had told Toki he’s in love with him - has been the whole time - the minute he was home safe, something he’d never admitted to back in their quick and easy fuck buddy days. He loves him and they’re about to take it all the way again - their first time as lovers since he’s come home - and he’s terrified.
Don’t get him wrong - he wants to fuck Skwisgaar. He’s wanted to since the day they met, and he had it in his grasp for a little while, before feelings that neither of them were willing to accept got in the way. It’s been a long time - 3 years, maybe, since they hooked up? Whenever Pickles’ brother’s wedding was, and Toki is so nervous to turn the blonde off to the whole thing, to somehow make him change his mind and take back his confession of love, never looking at Toki again and then kicking him out of the—
Skwisgaar grins where he waits on the bed, tossing his blonde hair over his shoulder, splayed out on his white sheets in his white bed in a fluffy white robe, and for a death metal god he really shouldn’t be able to look so much like an angel. He hits Toki with the Smolder, blue eyes burning as a light eyebrow arches, “Well hellos dere....”
“Oh, heys....pal,” Toki gulps, mentally face-palming, because did he really just call Skwisgaar pal? How un-sexy is that? Toki thinks about the groupies, about their slinky purred voices and how they always seem to know exactly what to say, and his face burns self-consciously. He hears his own mouth running nervously, “It’s...um, whiters in here den I remembers! Reallies, eeh, reallies white....”
“Oh, yeeuh, I...” Skwisgaar’s smoldering expression falters into his ‘what the fucks am you talkingks about’ face (a look Toki is all too familiar with), but he quickly recovers. He purrs, chiseled chin in his palm, “You likes it befores, if my memories ams correct.”
“Maybes we should change it ups a little. We could goes to the Craten Barrel, and we coulds—“
“Toki.”
“—maybes adds in like, some lavendars, or some—“
“Toki,” Skwisgaar says more firmly, arching a light eyebrow. “What ams goingks on in dat empties head of yours.”
Toki pouts, “Nothins! I...it’s just, I...eehhh....”
He trails off, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear, rocking back and forth on his socked feet. Skwisgaar gets this cute little smile on his face as he pats the white sheets underneath him, “Comes to me, dildo.”
Toki’s face flushes, and he sits himself down on Skwisgaar’s plush bed, so familiar in so many ways. Whether it was just the two of them palling around and playing guitars, or Toki shoving Skwisgaar down into the mattress as he fucks his brains out, it’s a place he’s spent a lot of time.
“You cutes when you norvous.” Skwisgaar murmurs against his ear, sending a shiver up his spine. “Reminds me of our forst times, ja?”
"Shuts up, I wasn't dat nervous..." Toki mutters with a blush, and he feels the lead guitarist's smile against the side of his face.
"Ams you kiddingks? You was freakingks out so bads dat I almost thought yous de virgins," he laughs fondly, and Toki tries to pout about it, but the full lips fluttering hotly against the thumping pulse in his neck is suddenly the only thing he can think about. Skwisgaar purrs lowly, "But we both knows now you's anything buts. I bets you couldnst even counts on alls of our million krillions fans' fingors how many times we've fucksed."
The brunette can't deny this, even though he shoots his partner a flustered glare. He was never overly concerned with sex, before Skwisgaar opened his eyes and quite literally rocked his entire world. After their first time - which, admittedly, he'd been so nervous to impress the blonde that he nearly vomited mid-rut - the two of them were swept up in an addictive whirlwind of passion. They've done it in every possible position, in every possible place in Mordhaus, and the Dethbus, and the Dethsub, and that just about every dressing room they've ever been inside of...and it still never felt like it was enough.
“Seriouslies, Tokis. Tells to me why you worries,” Skwisgaar murmurs, as Toki’s hands fall on the part of the white fluffy robe that lies over his hips. He gently urges Skwisgaar into his lap, who’s instantly glad to be astride him, leaning in and pressing more kisses and licks against his jugular. Long fingers rub at the patch of taut skin above Toki’s waistband, as the blonde’s voice falls into something more fragile, “I knows it has... beens a while, since we haves been...euuhhh, inktimates. If you changed yous mind, then—“
“Change my minds? Oh gods, Skwisgaar, noes, I...you gots no idea how bads I wants you,” Toki confesses, a couple fingers brushing against the bare pale skin that peeks out from the opening of his robe, and the blonde’s face softens. “I just, I-I wants it to bes good for yous...I worries I’m gonna fucks it all ups.” He wants to say more, but his ego and nerves hold him back - I want to impress yous. I wants to be the best dat you've ever hads. I don't want to fail and haves to gives you up agains.
“So you gots the performskance anxietities,” Skwisgaar nods solemnly, and Toki really expects the blonde to make fun of him. He’s Skwisgaar Skwigelf, someone who always has stamina, who could fuck any girl without batting an eyelash. Even without the love and the romantic history, the blonde is an intimidating person to be trying to satisfy in bed, just like in the studio.
So it’s surprising when Skwisgaar murmurs, “You gots nothingks to fear, min lilla Tokis. Will be good for mes, just because it ams you.”
“You reallies means dat?” Toki asks dizzily, heart hammering wildly in his chest.
"Obviousallies. Yous all I wanteds for so longs..." The blonde’s long fingers slowly work on untying the knot in his robe. Toki watches with baited breath, mouth practically watering, as Skwisgaar purrs, “You makes me wait fors it, and yous knows I ams a pretties impatients guy...”
He gets Toki shirtless before he shrugs off his robe, left only in tight white briefs, and they spend a few minutes just absorbing each other. Skwisgaar has this appreciative look on his face as his hands splay out across Toki’s abs, and the brunette probably looks completely dumbstruck. Just letting his eyes flirt over the blonde is enough to make him almost bust right there - golden hair spilling over his bare shoulders, blue eyes blown with lust, pale skin flushed and blushing. His long limbs, his perfect lips curled in a breezy smirk, that cute little crease in the side of his nose...
"Gods, yous so perfects," Toki breathes in awe, feeling his partner’s body thrum on top of him in satisfaction. He remembers from when they used to do this before, how Skwisgaar gets off from being told how great he is, and under the right circumstances, Toki is more than happy to oblige. But instead of purring out something hot and sexy, his nerves cause the first thought that comes into his head to tumble out, "I dreamed about havins you back like dis everies day when I was down there."
Skwisgaar's haughty smile falls into something sad and wounded, and he internally curses himself for bringing up the biggest mood killer he could possibly procure. Who talks about their own violent kidnapping during foreplay? Even still, the sentiment is true. On his darkest days with Magnus, a vision of this exact moment was what kept Toki from giving up entirely. He really never thought being back here with Skwisgaar would be more than a dream...
“Just go to sleep. Have sweet dreams, and stay in them for as long as you can,” Abigail had told him, begged him, when it came to be too much, and Toki listened the best he could. It was the only way to escape, the only way to see his bandmates again - so he’d press his cheek against the cold floor, and he’d dream wonderful things until Magnus would force him awake. The transition, from the safety of their arms to the cold kick awake of Magnus’ foot, was always heart-breakingly jarring.
Would it happen now? Would he fall into the sweet lull of Skwisgaar’s voice and lips, only to be kicked awake and realize he’s back in the basement? He’s thought so many times that this is all too good to be true - Skwisgaar’s love, the solos, his bandmates including him almost desperately in everything they do because they’re so glad to have him back. It just doesn’t seem realistic - and maybe it’s not. Maybe it’s not real, and Toki watches as the soft light of Skwisgaar’s room slowly starts to fade into something dark and ominous.
“You okays?” Skwisgaar murmurs concernedly, stroking a hand down the side of Toki’s face. He’s usually very intuitive with knowing when the brunette is falling into his new punishment hole, and he’s been learning more and more how to bring him out of it without the help of Roscko.
Toki is starting to slip, however, and he can’t bring himself to speak. He just kind of stares at the blonde, eyes glazing over, and this was exactly what he was afraid of. He wanted this to be memorable, to be good - and now he’s going to fuck it all up by having an emotional episode and Skwisgaar will be so disappointed.
The Swede tilts his head a bit, looking into Toki’s eyes meaningfully before he presses their foreheads together. “Don’t be thinkingks about dem bads things. You ams here with mes now.”
He kisses Toki softly, trying to coax out a response. His hands slide all over him with a foreign gentleness, and between his long fingers and his plush lips Toki faintly feels like the blonde is handling him with the same calculated expertise that he plays his Explorer. The affection halts his descent into the darkness, stops the click of a collar around his neck, and he exhales softly against the blonde’s mouth.
“Dats right, comes back to mes,” Skwisgaar whispers against his lips, so lovingly - when did he get so loving? Toki has never been treated so affectionately in his life, and would’ve never guessed it to be from Skwisgaar of all people. It wasn’t like this before, when they used to mess around - it was definitely intense, but never loving. Toki would think those three words every single time the two of them would come together like this, but he certainly never dared to say it. He couldn't have imagined Skwisgaar would ever feel the same way, but apparently he'd been wrong - presently, a firm hand presses over his heart, reveling in the beat of it, as the blonde nuzzles against him, “Jag älskar dig alltid, älskling."
Toki’s eyelashes flutter as the green tint slowly fades away, Skwisgaar’s words pushing out the darkness that had seeped into his mind, and he melts into the Swede’s ministrations. The brunette turns his head, puckering his lips for him, and Skwisgaar breathes against his mouth in victory, “There you ams.”
“Thanks you, Skwisgaar,” Toki sighs gratefully, pressing a delicate, sweet kiss to the corner of the blonde’s mouth. "Yous gettin real goods at bringins me out of it."
“Duh. Nobody knows your dildo brain bettor than mes,” he smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind the brunette’s ear. His expression is achingly loving and uncharacteristically understanding, as he murmurs, "We can does dis anothor times, if you just wants me to holds you insteads."
Toki melts, and he's not sure if he'll ever get used to the side of Skwisgaar that can treat him with such attentive adoration. His time away really must've put things into perspective for the blonde, and while their bickering and competitiveness and usual dynamics haven't changed, something completely new came into the mix. He'd finally unlocked the 'relationship side' of Skwisgaar - a side that he's pretty sure neither of them has experienced before. Maybe that's why he's nervous about tonight, because he knows it's going to be different. And he realizes that he really, really wants to figure out what 'different' entails.
"I don't wants to stops," Toki says firmly, eager to get the ball rolling again as he slides his palms up the blonde’s thighs on either side of him, kneading the flesh tenderly. Skwisgaar leans down, kissing him with less of his signature perfectionist precision, and something more needy. Their tongues slide together, bottom lips are bitten and sucked, and the intensity builds until they're both flushed and aching for more.
Toki exhales sharply as one of Skwisgaar’s hands makes its way over his abs, idly tracing up and down the ridges of the muscled flesh before resting heavy over the bulge in his pants. "I always thinks about how goods you taste," the blonde purrs, rubbing him in slow circles, and if Toki wasn’t fully hard again he definitely is now. “You think I could still makes you goes real crazies, just from sucking you off?"
Toki shudders in anticipation, cheeks coloring as he hums teasingly, “Mmm, I dunno, it has beens a while..."
"Ams dat a challenge, den?"
"Fucks yeah it ams," he breathes, body shuddering in pleasure as feather-light fingers pull out his dick, and Skwisgaar grins and arches an eyebrow haughtily. The blonde slides down his body, leaving a trail of intentionally sloppy kisses down his muscled body, and he's a picture-perfect image of the first time he did this all those years ago. Toki had been so shocked, so eager - and he feels similar to his past self, in that sense. Back then, he never thought he'd have Skwisgaar Skwigelf on his knees for him - and in the present, he never thought he'd have it again. And just like before, Skwisgaar certainly seems like he’s enjoying himself, sizing up Toki’s dick lustfully before running the flat of his tongue from root to tip in one long, languid motion.
“O-Oh fucks—“ Toki gasps, white-knuckling the bedsheets underneath him as those full lips kiss at the head. “Skwisgaar—“
“Be goods for mes,” Skwisgaar murmurs against his dick, which twitches violently, and he reaches up to place one of Toki’s shaky hands in his blonde locks. His hair pours through Toki’s fingers, beautiful and soft, and blue eyes slide shut as he takes Toki’s dick into his mouth.
“Skwisgaar...” he whines again, hips pushing off the bed, chest rising and falling frantically as the Swede rolls his tongue against the underside of the head, long fingers squeezing the base. Maybe Toki did need the reminder, because his lips and tongue are even more talented than he’d remembered. He vocalizes this, gasping, “Oh my gods...yous so goods...”
Skwisgaar smirks, tongue swirling, hand gliding up and down before he slowly eases the entirety of Toki’s length into his mouth. He brushes the back of Skwisgaar’s throat, and Toki whines loudly, toes curling as his back arches off the bed. The blonde hums around him, sucking him off in earnest, looking smug as he completely takes Toki apart. He can't help the way he tugs at Skwisgaar's hair, or lifts his hips up off the bed desperately, or thrashes his head around as squeaky moans pour like a symphony out of his throat. He doesn't want to finish, but it's just so good, and he feels so fucking close as he forces himself not to grab him by the sides of the head and fuck his mouth.
“I donts—I, I, eeehhh,” Toki gasps, watching desperately as Skwisgaar’s blue eyes flicker up to his own as he licks up the shaft again. He sucks underneath the head, right where he knows Toki is most sensitive, and the brunette’s entire body jerks violently as he begs, “I-I gots to fucks you, Skwisgaar, I-I—I’m gonnas...ohhhhh gods—“
Skwisgaar eases off of him with a final teasing lick, curling his fingers around the base and jacking him lazily. Toki whimpers, eyes pleading, as the blonde lays his head against his thigh and murmurs affectionately, “Some thingks nevor change.”
Toki swoons almost drunkenly, carding his fingers through blonde locks, so turned on it hurts as he gently tugs at the blonde’s shoulders. Skwisgaar slides back up his body, pointed nose brushing against Toki’s before he tilts his head and kisses him deeply. Toki moans, tasting himself in the blonde’s mouth, blunt fingernails digging against Skwisgaar’s back. Long fingers glide over his chest, rolling over his nipples, tracing the ridges of his abs - it’s so attractive, how Skwisgaar is always so confident in his seduction, always so methodical in the ways he takes Toki apart.
“Fucks,” he huffs, breathless and red-faced as a string of spit connects their lips. “I needs you sos bads....”
The blonde is now the one to swoon, cupping Toki’s face lovingly, a sparkling white smile gracing his features. God, he hasn’t seen Skwisgaar smile like that in a long time. He leans in, lips brushing against Toki’s ear, “Om du behöver mig, ta mig.”
Toki whines, scrambling off the bed and snatching up the little bottle that they both look very eager to see uncapped. His hands only shake a little as he slicks up his fingers, and he leans over Skwisgaar’s body, propped up on an elbow as his free hand reaches down and circles the Swede’s entrance.
“Ohh yeuhh,” Skwisgaar sighs, eyes fluttering shut, as Toki’s middle finger eases in. Toki feels his entire body vibrate with an excited energy, so eager to slip inside and lose himself, but he knows he has to be patient. The Swede hums in satisfaction when Toki adds in another finger, hips canting up eagerly, head tipping back and giving the brunette access to his throat. He doesn’t disappoint - he easily pushes third finger in as he sucks and kisses the blonde’s sensitive neck, and Skwisgaar groans, fingers clutching at him as he becomes more desperate.
“Mmm, Tokis, I thinks Is readies,” he gasps, as Toki drags his tongue up his neck and nips at the shell of his ear.
“Ja? You sures you can takes it?” Toki murmurs, curling his fingers, brushing against Skwisgaar’s sweet spot, and the blonde’s eyes pop open as he gasps raggedly. “Why donts you tells to Toki whats you wants?”
“I-I...euuhhhhh—ohs my gods—“ Skwisgaar’s body jolts, moaning loudly as Toki’s fingers pound against the spot, clutching desperately the brunette’s shoulder. “I needs—oh ja, ja, right deres—!”
“Hmms? I don’t thinks I hears the magic words...” Toki teases, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he relentlessly rubs the blonde’s prostate, and Skwisgaar’s getting deliciously loud. He keens against Toki, toes curling, hips thrusting against his hand, and he begs, “Please, I needs yous to fucks me nows, godsdammit!”
“And you says Toki goes real crazies,” Toki grins, slowly removing his fingers from the whining Swede. Skwisgaar’s body practically vibrates underneath his own as Toki slicks his dick up with lube, then lines it up with the blonde’s waiting entrance. Okay, this is the moment of truth. How should he start? Hard and fast? He could flip the blonde, bend him over the end of the bed, and pound him into next week. Which sounds great, but...
Toki’s eyelashes flutter, the gravity of the situation falling down on him as the two of them stare at each other. The last time they did this, it had just been some drunken fuck in a Wisconsin hotel, and Toki had vowed to stop sleeping with Skwisgaar, because he couldn't handle pretending that it didn't mean anything to him. But he doesn't have to pretend now - the last time was before kidnappings and band breakups and long-overdue declarations of love, and they hadn’t realized how easily they could lose each other.
This could be the last time, and they wouldn’t even know it - if the world was ending, if he’d be kidnapped again tomorrow, how would he want to spend his last night with the man he loves?
“Toki,” Skwisgaar murmurs, chest heaving and hair in his face. “What ams on yous mind?”
“Dis...ums. Dis means something to me, Skwisgaar. We never says dat befores, but it always has, and I just never gots to shows it to yous,” Toki whispers, pushing blonde locks tenderly off the Swede's sweaty forehead. “I don’t thinks I just wants to fucks. I-I wants to...”
Skwisgaar blinks at him, faced with a proposition he’s never been offered in his lifetime of sexual prowess. His face flushes, voice lowering, “You, euuh...you wants to...? Tries it, de, euuhh. Romanticals way?”
“If that ams okays with yous.”
Toki is fascinated by the way this sex god underneath him blushes at the idea - his face visibly pinkens, bottom lip chewed thoughtfully for a second before he says softly, “Ams more than okay, dildo. It just...it ams a little outs of my areas of exportise, you knows? I donts know if I....euuughhhh......”
‘I don’t knows if I’ll be any goods at it,’ is the statement that the blonde cannot bring himself to admit, but Toki knows him too well to hear it anyways. He never thought he’d see the day where Skwisgaar Skwigelf was nervous about his sexual performance - and the brunette can’t help but smile, because they're mirroring each other as always.
“Will be good for mes, just because it ams you,” Toki coos lovingly, quoting the blonde’s earlier words, and Skwisgaar melts as the two of them meet in the middle for a tender kiss. The Swede reaches down, long fingers playing along the shaft of Toki’s dick, encouraging him to push in. The brunette steels himself, inhaling sharply before he slowly eases inside, watching Skwisgaar’s eyes squeeze shut, nose slightly scrunching as he clutches at Toki’s shoulders.
“That ams okays?” Toki whispers, watching the blonde’s eyebrows furrow a bit as he inches in.
“Ja, it ams...just been a whiles...” Skwisgaar huffs out, as Toki slowly sinks deeper. “Nobodies since yous, has been...”
He trails off, and Toki stills in surprise. His heart pounds in his chest, blue eyes searching Skwisgaar’s face desperately as he breathes, “Reallies?”
“Don’t gets the big heads about dis, but you knows how once I gets something porfect, there ams no goingk back to medioxcrities...” Skwisgaar cracks a tiny smile at him, and Toki’s heart literally stops in his chest before speeding up double time. He'd worried about not being good enough at this - but he was just told he's the best that this beautiful guitar god has ever had.
He’s so overwhelmed with it all - with the praise of being perfect in bed, the emotion of Skwisgaar waiting for him, of being back in this position with him, of those blue eyes staring up at him like he’s something precious - and it’s too much. He has to show him, and he drops his head as he grips the blonde’s hip with one hand, propping himself up with the other, and starts to move in and out. Skwisgaar chokes, gasping as he turns Toki’s face to his own, and they’re both desperate to catch their breaths as they kiss each other passionately.
“Fucks,” Skwisgaar huffs between kisses, fingers sliding up over Toki’s shoulder blades, ghosting tenderly over the scars on the brunette’s back. Toki’s moan is swallowed by the blonde, the loving contact on such a sensitive part of himself making him feel overwhelmed in the sweetest of ways.
“Yous feel so fuckins good,” Toki swoons, his hair curtaining their faces, noses rubbing together. The blonde’s hands on his back tighten, as Toki changes his angle and strokes his dick up against the Swede’s prostate. He feels the body underneath him tighten, and he sighs, “Mm-mm, how’s dat?”
“Oh, Tokis,” Skwisgaar gasps, pressing himself up into the brunette desperately. “Rights dere, you knows what to does...”
He does indeed know what to do - Toki grinds his hips right where Skwisgaar wants him to go, reveling in the way that the blonde gasps and groans underneath him, earning himself a chorus of “ohh Tokis, Tokis, don’t stops—“ and it feels so fucking good to hear the Swede moaning out his name, to feel his hot labored breaths against his ear.
Just like he'd expected, it's different than before, but some things are wonderfully familiar. Skwisgaar's body feels like home, and he looks like the same guy that Toki's desired fiercely since his audition. But he's never felt so much love so powerfully, and he feels it, in the way that Skwisgaar sucks tender kisses into his neck, and tries to get his hands over every inch of him, and presses their sweat-slicked foreheads together as he moans low Swedish nonsense again his mouth. He's home, he's safe, and he's loved, and his heart has never felt so full.
“Lets me gets on top,” Skwisgaar huffs desperately in his ear, and Toki bites his bottom lip violently as he nods his head. He rolls them over, blonde hair tickling his face as Skwisgaar leans over, bracing himself with a hand on Toki’s chest as he sets a slow, passionate pace. The brunette moans as he digs his fingers into pale thighs, rolling his hips upwards to meet the bounce of Skwisgaar’s hips, and they both know that neither of them are going to last much longer.
“I missed yous,” Skwisgaar whispers in his ear, head tipping back as he moans desperately. “I—I, euuhhhh, I missed doingk this, with yous...”
“Tells to me—“ Toki gasps, eyes squeezing shut and hair falling into his face as he ruts up into the blonde, inching closer to orgasm, “Tells to me that you...that you—“
Somehow, Skwisgaar knows exactly what he wants. The blonde cups his face, and their blue eyes meet as he whispers sincerely, “I loves you, Tokis. I loves you so fuckingks much dat I-I can barelies stands it, yous de onlies one I evor wanteds like dis...”
Toki chokes with teary eyes, dick throbbing, hand sliding down Skwisgaar’s stomach, gripping at the blonde’s cock as he strokes him. Skwisgaar gasps, clutching at Toki’s face, his hair, as he begs, “Oh, Tokis—! I, I, loves you, I loves you, lets me comes—“
Warmth explodes throughout Toki’s entire body, and he has the most intense, spine-tingling, toe-cracking orgasm that he's ever experienced. His eyes rip open and a wild, squeaky moan tears its way out of his throat, fingers digging bruises into the body atop him as it crashes through him in ripples. Skwisgaar's head drops as he shudders in pleasure at the feeling, and he grinds downwards as Toki squeezes on the upstroke, sending him right over the finish line alongside him.
They both come down together, holding each other close, and the brunette revels in the feeling of long fingers scratching lazily at his scalp. Skwisgaar presses a kiss to his forehead, and his voice is hushed, "I understands what's you wanteds to shows me."
"Yeah?" Toki smiles, strong arms squeezing around him tightly. "Whats you thinks?'
"I thinks I ams a luckies guy, havingk you to loves me," Skwisgaar kisses the top of his head again, and Toki basks in it, knowing that he'd go through everything with Magnus in an instant if it meant he'd get to end up here at the end of it all. The blonde smirks challengingly at him,"But I gots to shows you now, because I loves you even mores."
"Uhhh, I hears you wrong, Skwisgaar. I loves you mores!"
"Pfft. Ams imposskibles. I loves you infinitallies."
"I loves you infinitallies times two!"
"That amnst a thing, dildo." He pauses, then decides he refuses to be one-upped. Toki's glad that while some things are different, some luckily never change. "But with your logicks, I loves you infinities, times threes!"
"Times four!"
"Times--!" Skwisgaar is cut off with a hand over his mouth, and now Toki is the one to wear the challenging grin. When it's mirrored right back at him, Toki knows he's the lucky one, and he purrs, "Shows me."
And Skwisgaar does.