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Silence reigned throughout Calhoun Memorial Hospital in Twin Peaks – finally. It had been a hectic day, what with the bank explosion and that FBI Agent with the head-wound. Suddenly a terrible cry came from Audrey Horne’s private room. The nurse on duty rushed in and exclaimed “What’s wrong, Ms. Horne?”
Audrey looked at her with terror in her eyes before crying out “What’s wrong? I’ve only gone and given my virginity away to some smarmy ‘Justice’ bozo with the most appalling taste in jumpers tucked into his trousers. What the hell was I thinking? WHERE THE FUCK IS AGENT COOPER?”