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When Tadashi sees Akiteru for the first time since his own high school graduation, it's been six years. He barely remembers his teenage days of catching glimpses of his best friend's older brother during sleepovers, hearing proud cheers from the stands during high school volleyball matches. He remembers dirty blond hair and a bright smile, kind eyes. The rest is out of focus.
Tadashi sees Akiteru for the first time in years at a bar Kei drags him to— “For moral support,” he had said and Tadashi believed him, remembering how excitable Akiteru could be compared to Kei.
Upon entering the bar, Tadashi catches a glimpse of dirty blond hair, warm brown eyes. A bright smile. Akiteru comes into focus.
“Tsukki, he’s there.” Tadashi points. Akiteru is already waving.
“Ah.” Kei walks forward, unbothered by the crowd. Tadashi struggles to keep up.
They come to a halt in front of Akiteru, he smiles at them both. Tadashi lingers behind Kei’s shoulder, shyness washing over him.
Kei speaks, “Nii-san— ” and Akiteru wraps his little brother in a bear hug before he can get to proper greetings. They’re both grinning, Kei’s smile smaller than Akiteru’s but no less happy.
“Ah, Kei!” Akiteru lets go, noticing the company, “And Tadashi-kun! it’s been so long!”
“It’s nice to see you again, A— Tsukishima-san,” Tadashi stumbles. How do you address the older brother of your closest friend, again? How do you speak to someone you haven’t spoken to in half a decade?
Akiteru laughs, his head tipping back slightly as he grabs the hand Tadashi had held out for him to shake, and pulls. Tadashi falls forward into Akiteru’s arms, cheek resting against a broad shoulder. His breath catches as strong arms envelop him, squeezing tight with familiarity. Heat floods his cheeks and Tadashi moves to hide his face in Akiteru’s sweater. Tadashi lets his own arms snake around Akiteru’s back. In that moment, Tadashi is struck with one singular thought: He’s warm.
The hug is exactly three seconds long, but Tadashi feels as though he’s awakened from a dream when Akiteru finally pulls back. He gently holds Tadashi by the shoulders and Tadashi feels so, so warm. Akiteru is smiling at Tadashi. He’s taller by a centimetre.
“Wow!” The smile grows, he’s still holding Tadashi by the shoulders. “You’re all grown up, aren’t you, Tadashi-kun? Or do you want me to call you Yamaguchi now?” He laughs lightly, eyes crinkling at the edges. Tadashi feels something shift. He moves back slightly.
“Tadashi is fine, Tsukishima-san.” He looks away, Akiteru’s gaze suddenly too much.
He sees Kei move past them to sit down. Akiteru is still looking at him. I’m all grown up. He looks back to Akiteru. Kei is looking at the menu.
“Akiteru-san, should we sit?”
Akiteru blinks, returning from somewhere else. “Yes! Yes, please take a seat, Tadashi.”
He does, sliding into the seat next to Kei who glances at him, lips pursed in the way Tadashi had learned to mean: “I’m thinking really hard about something, but I don’t want anyone to know, but I know that you know so I’m letting you know that I’m thinking really hard about something.”
He kicks Kei’s leg under the table, Kei knees him back.
“Hey—!”
“You’re such a child!”
Tadashi sticks his tongue out. Kei laughs and pushes his face away. “Proving my point—”
Akiteru laughs. “And here I was thinking you’d both changed so much!”
Tadashi sits up straight, flushing. Kei scoffs. “Oh, you’re one to talk. How long have you owned that jacket, again?”
“Tsukki, that’s mean.” Tadashi giggles. “He’s had that hairstyle for longer…”
Akiteru balks. “Not Tadashi too! You’re both brats, I can’t believe this.” He leans back in his seat, crossing his arms.
There’s a pause before all three men break into laughter.
“It’s good to see you both again.” Akiteru sighs happily as their laughter subsides. “Honestly, I can’t remember the last time I saw you two together.” He smiles at them both, before looking at Tadashi. “I like the new look. The piercings suit you.”
Tadashi flushes again. “Thank you, Akiteru-san.” He feels awkward. He’s had these piercings since he was twenty. This isn’t a ‘new look’ for him. Does Akiteru think this is a novelty? Does he think this Tadashi is a novelty? Don’t look at me like that. Why are you looking at me like that?
“Uh— Tsukki, how’s your exhibition going?” Subtle.
Kei looks at him briefly, the pursed lips are back. “It’s… good.” He directs his attention to his brother, “We have a week left of preparation before opening…”
The night continues and Akiteru is looking at Tadashi.
—
Kei leaves at nine pm, claiming he has practice at five-thirty the next morning. Tomorrow is Saturday. Tadashi can’t remember the Frogs practice schedule. He squints suspiciously at Kei as he leaves. Kei grins at him as he opens the door before he steps out. Practice does not start at five-thirty the next morning. That bastard. He texts him that much.
“Are you okay?”
Tadashi whips his head up, Akiteru is leaning his chin on his palm, eyes wide. Why are you looking at me like that?
“Yeah, all good. Sorry.” Tadashi shifts, fiddles with his sleeve. Akiteru is still—
“Why are you looking at me like that?” The words tumble from his mouth before he can stop them.
Akiteru looks at him again, his lips forming a small ‘O’ shape. “Like what?”
Tadashi huffs, drags a hand through his hair. “Like you— like you’ve never seen me before! Or like I’m gonna disappear— I feel like a science experiment over here. God.”
He hides his face in his hands. Akiteru doesn’t speak. “Sorry— I’m–” Tadashi sighs. “It’s just been a while, I guess.”
He feels movement and a gentle warmth next to him. He wants to lean in.
“Tadashi.”
“Tadashi, hey. I—” Tadashi hears Akiteru struggle, he feels bad for a moment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. It’s just—” A sigh. “You are different now. To me, at least. How long has it been— six? Six years is a long time, Tadashi.”
Tadashi feels something shift again. Akiteru speaks once more.
“Tadashi— Tadashi, can you look at me?”
He raises his head, meeting Akiteru’s gaze. They don’t say anything. Tadashi waits.
Akiteru looks exactly the same as Tadashi remembers him and is different all at once. Big, brown eyes, high cheekbones, blond hair that sits neatly no matter what, that one, singular freckle just beside his right eyebrow, faded. Akiteru doesn’t go outside as much as he used to. He has more and less lines in his face; he looks… like a thirty-year-old. He’s all grown up, too, Tadashi realises. They both are. Akiteru’s cheeks are a sweet shade of pink. Tadashi wants to—
“I’m looking at you,” Tadashi whispers, refusing to break eye contact.
Akiteru nods, like he’s realised something important. “You’re right, that does feel weird.”
Tadashi laughs, incredulous. “Was that what that was all for?!”
Akiteru looks away for a moment, seeming to steel himself. Tadashi thinks he’s reading something in those pink cheeks—
“Akiteru… Do you want to get out of here? With me.”
Akiteru’s eyes go wide, he flushes red and sucks in a breath. Tadashi thinks he should backtrack—
“I was about to ask the same thing.” Oh.
“Oh.” Tadashi feels light and heavy at the same time. So this is happening, huh.
“Oh?”
They’re in some kind of stand-off. Are you looking at me, Akiteru? Can you see me now?
“I would say ‘I’d like to get out of here with you, Akiteru,’ and then we’d leave. If you were wondering.”
Akiteru swallows, “…I’d say the same.”
Tadashi wants to reach out. To touch. He brushes a stray hair back behind Akiteru’s ear.
“Then let’s get out of here.”
—
Tadashi feels warm. They’re lying in Akiteru’s bed, Tadashi keeps threading and unthreading his fingers with Akiteru, who has his free arm wrapped around Tadashi’s shirtless back, tracing circles into his skin. Legs tangled together, breathing in sync, peaceful. Tadashi buries his face into the crook of Akiteru’s neck, pressing his lips to his décolletage. Akiteru laughs softly.
“‘Tickles, Tadashi.” Tadashi moves his lips further up Akiteru’s neck, covering his skin with more kisses.
“Ta-Tadashi, it tickles—” Tadashi grins when Akiteru’s bright laughter erupts throughout the room. He ends his attack with a soft kiss to Akiteru’s cheek.
“You didn’t seem to have an issue with it before,” he says innocently, looking wide-eyed at Akiteru, who flushes deeply. Tadashi giggles. “You’re cute, Akiteru.” He wraps his arms around Akiteru’s chest, snuggling in closer. “No comment?”
“You—” Akiteru has brought up a hand to cover his face, in a failing attempt to hide his blush. “I like you so much…” It’s mumbled, but Tadashi catches it.
He reaches up to take Akiteru’s hand away from his burning cheeks, kissing his fingers gently. “I like you, too,” he says softly, earnestly.
They look at each other. Tadashi leans up, letting go of Akiteru’s hand to reach around his neck, Akiteru leans down to meet him. Their lips meet not for the first time that night in a sweet kiss; Tadashi pulls himself up to ease into a better angle, Akiteru’s hand coming up to cradle his face, the palm on Tadashi’s back holding him steady. They bask in their affection. Tadashi laughs softly when Akiteru rolls them over, arms draping over beautiful shoulders. Their kisses turn into too much teeth and not enough lips, both smiling too much to continue properly. They don’t care. Tadashi giggles when Akiteru kisses down his neck.
“I’m so happy right now.” He sighs, smile unable to leave his lips. Akiteru looks down at Tadashi, eyes melting with how soft his expression is.
“Me too, Tadashi.”
Keep looking at me. Please, take me in. All of me.