Chapter Text
Sam doesn’t know exactly when or how Bucky started spending time at his house after their missions. He just realized one day, thanks to Sara, that Bucky always goes with him to Louisiana when they have some free time after any mission. Sam doesn’t know how they didn’t start this since day one.
Well…
He knows why.
Bucky was in no condition of having any kind of relationship back then. He was a prisoner in his own mind and didn’t know how to escape from that hell. Now, it is different. Bucky is doing the hard work and, since then, everything has changed. Bucky comes here and jokes with Sarah and plays with the kids (he is extraordinarily good with kids). And he helps when they need something and messes around with Sam whenever he has the chance. It actually is really nice having Bucky here.
The only problem… not a problem exactly, but… a problem Sam has with Bucky is how he sleeps when he does it. Bucky is still struggling with his nightmares and is always trying not to sleep. Sam can see the dark bags under his blue eyes while he is smiling. But even super-soldiers have to rest, with no exception, and Bucky ends with his eyes closed on his couch while Sam is sitting next to him. Sam loves the fact he can relax enough to sleep but hates seeing him.
The way Bucky sleeps, is unsettling, to say the least. Bucky doesn't move or makes a sound. His body looks rigid and tense all the time. It is like seeing a dead body on his couch. Even his skin is frozen.
It is like being next to a corpse.
And even when he has nightmares, which is most of the nights, Bucky doesn't scream or makes any other noise when he wakes up. He gasps and that is all, he opens his eyes with fast breathing. It is uneasy to watch him. Sam wants to punch him sometimes, just to hear him complain and has to restrain himself. How could he do that to Bucky who is clearly sleep-deprived? Sam reprimands himself. Why can’t he snore? He thinks after. Bucky could do something to let Sam know he is alive.
Sam sighs and keeps watching the TV with Bucky sleeping next to him. It is weird this new familiarity between them which Sam loves. Having Bucky in his life, right now, feels like a miracle and Sam feels grateful for that. He is climbing his hell after months of being completely lost, he is starting to learn how to be his own person again. And finally, he is healing and stopped being a sad jerk which Sam appreciates. They are learning how to work together and be something more than co-workers with a mutual friend who is no longer with them. They are building something together, something great. Sam can feel it. And it is taking time, but Sam doesn’t care: good things take time and effort.
Sam rests his head on his shoulder, Bucky sleeps completely straighten. Sam takes the book he is reading now from his hands and leaves it next to him in case he awakes and wants to keep reading since he won't be able to move because Sam pretends to fall asleep at this precise moment. He is exhausted and Bucky’s shoulder is really comfortable.
Sam observes his chest going up and down slightly at a relaxing pace. Bucky's breathing is slow and steady, and imperceptible. Sam puts his hand on his chest and feels his heartbeats. Sam sighs with relief and peace.
Feeling his heartbeats, Sam falls asleep.